SEQUEL TO CONFESSIONS
"The doctors don't know when he'll wake up but he will." He says
"Do you want to stay here?"
"No." He looks at me, his eyes tired, lids down low, "I want to go home. I want you to come with me."
I study him, "Walt, do you think that's a good idea. I mean with all that's going on are you okay with that?"
"I need you with me." It's not a plea just a statement of fact.
I nod, "I dropped Lucian off at the home."
"He eat?" He asks casually like we aren't here in front of his wife's killer.
"Picked up some of Dorothy's take-out." I match his normality.
I look over at Barlow and feel guilty as Lucian's words echo in my head. If Barlow had loved his family I wouldn't be in the arms of the man I love. I wouldn't be here like this.
Walt pats my thigh, his signal for me to stand, and I do. Straightening out my clothes I ask, "You hungry?"
"I could eat."
He stands, gets his hat and coat, "You have groceries?" I ask
He shakes his head, "Well, then stay at my place. I'll whip up something."
His eyes answer and he looks over at Barlow. His face frowns and the sadness shows on the surface. I don't think he's been trying to hide it more like he can't really contain why we are here.
"Walt, I'll never be able to find the words to express how truly sorry I am."
His fingers thread through mine as his eyes bounce off of me we walk out, the Cumberland County reserve deputy is back in his spot and he stands when he sees Walt.
"Sheriff" he says, "calling it a night?"
"Call the station if anything happens." Walt grumbles, "and I mean anything."
"Yes, sir. Will do." He looks over at me, his eyes glancing down at my chest then back up and his fingers tip his hat as the smile returns to his face.
"Good night, ma'am." He says it's all warm and flirty.
"What time is your relief getting here?" I ask all serious not giving him any ground.
"I believe it's 0700 hours." He looks at his watch as if it will confirm shift change for him.
"Take out your cell phone I want to make sure you have the station number." He does and he does so I nod and turn around walking past Walt.
In one stride he's even with me, "Is the station number forwarded to your cell phone?"
"Yeah, it is."
"Good." He says.
We make it to the automatic sliding doors and Walt stops, "Was he flirting with you?"
"Yup." I say but don't say anything else
He looks at me and he's deciding. "I'll meet you at your place."
"Ok."
Walt turns to walk back into the hospital and I call him in my quiet yelling voice, "Walt."
"I'll see you in a few minutes." He says just under his breath. If this was just a week ago I would be a little panicked about it or mad about it but tonight standing here in the cool Wyoming night air I decide this will be a fight for another day.
I back into my driveway and unload my gear making sure I leave enough room for the Bronco and it dawns upon me that I don't live in the middle of nowhere but the center of town and this is probably a very bad idea.
"Damn it, Walt." Saying out loud at my frustration over his stubbornness for not joining the modern world and getting a cell phone so I call the hospital only to find out he's already gone.
"Of course." I mumble to myself as I face the front door having another dilemma about leaving the front door unlocked while I shower and survival instinct beats out sleepy little town instinct so I lock the door.
I jump into shorts and a tank and unlock the front door, peering out of the peep hole, but no Bronco out front and just for a moment I think I've been stood up and you know I don't want to admit to you that my heart stopped. It stopped for a second. I check my phone, no missed calls, no messages on my home phone either.
"Fuck it." I say out loud. "A girl's gotta eat."
I clean the salad greens first and slice yellow squash only to realize I don't have any meat so I dice some zucchini and start the water for some black rice. Rice I have to order off the internet because the local grocer thought I made up an entirely new food group when I asked for it.
Ten minutes into the rice cooking I hear a soft knock on the door and I turn as the door slowly opens, the familiar chocolate brown hat breaks the plane, and his voice fills the air, "I tried the knob and it opened."
"I left it unlocked for you." I say and turn to see him holding a simple green ivy plant.
His voice is a little shaky, "I went back inside to get you this because I knew the regular florist was closed." I walk over to him as he drops a small bag on the floor and hands me the plant.
He points to the plant, "I wanted to get something that's living." He clears his throat, "You know sorta symbolic."
I put the plant down on the table and reach up on my tip toes and kiss his lips, "Thank you."
Turning back toward the table, "I have something for you, too."
I place the key in his hand, "With everything going on I haven't given this to you, but it's yours if you want it."
He kisses my hand and then kisses my lips. "Thank you." He says, "and I promise not to take advantage either."
I smile remembering my words and watch him pull the key onto his key ring.
"So does this mean you are good with Durant knowing you spent the night here?" Referring to the Bronco parked in the driveway."
"Yup" He says and I smile.
"Are you?" His eyebrows rise as he asks as if he may be worried about my response.
I just nod saying, "Dinner will be ready in about 15 minutes if you want to take a quick shower."
He dashes upstairs without another word and I light the three candles on the table, set the table, in time for him to walk down the stairs in a worn soft grey t-shirt with Broncos super faded across his chest and an equally worn pair of black basketball shorts.
"I can't believe you own basketball shorts." I say with a smile.
"What? Really? I play too you know." He sits down at the table and rubs his hands together like he's happy to see the feast. His hair is all wet and all mussed from the towel he ran through it and that coupled with his clean soapy smell make me want to skip dinner and have him instead but I contain myself and instead apologize for not having any meat for dinner.
"It's ok it's not like it's going to kill me. If anything you are keeping me alive." He says as he chews then he looks up and he's all sincere and serious, "You are keeping me alive in more ways than one, Vic."
"You have a part to play in that you know." I put my fork down and am equally serious, "We have to be in this together."
"We are."
"Walt, I have something I need to tell you."
He puts his fork down and turns toward me, his legs open in a perfect V, his hand resting in his lap.
"What's wrong?" He asks
"I can't help but feel guilty about us, about this." I say and I feel emotional but not like crying it just feels real, "If Barlow wasn't an evil bastard there's a chance that Martha."
He cuts me off and takes my hand, "Vic, Martha had stage four cancer she would have been gone."
His head hangs down and he looks back up at me, "Sitting in the room with him a lot of things swirled through my head. So many questions I have and part of me is afraid of the answers and if they will be the truth or not but the one truth I have is that you and me are right together."
He looks into my eyes and doesn't look away.
"That you and me would be sitting here in your house on this night eating a meatless dinner and that I'm good with that. I'm happy with you, Vic and it's not because I need you to save me, though I suspect you have. The truth is I need you just as much as I love you'."
"Come over here and kiss me."
He gets up and then gets on his knees in front of me, his hand behind my head as I lean down to meet him and he's gentle exploring me like it's the first time. He takes my bottom lip in his mouth and slowly lets it out and it's surprising and it's hot at the same time."
"Let's finish dinner." He says. "I'm hungry."
"Me, too." We finish dinner and go upstairs to my bedroom.
He peels off his t-shirt and his shorts and he stands before me completely nude and completely beautiful. I can't help but look and I sigh without realizing it and he smiles and I blush still not used to the fact that he's mine.
I shed my clothes and pull back the sheets and he's looking at me.
"You're beautiful. You know that." He says but it's not a come on it's like he's being observant.
"You are too." I say just repeating a factual statement.
We climb into bed and I decide that I will worry about how I feel about him in the same bed I shared with Sean tomorrow because tonight I want to sleep in my lover's arms and not worry about anyone or anything because as much as I trust this, and love him, my truth is that I know hell is waiting.
A/N: I don't know when the next chapters will be produced but they will...eventually.