"And I wasn't even perfect"

Okay hope you guys like this. Be kind, but be truthful. This is my first fanfinction and in addition I haven't written in a really really long time. Forgive the grammar, forgive the spelling, and hopefully this doesn't suck to bad. Anyway reviews are welcome from all you experts. All you guys/gals make it look so easy with all the great stories. Oh, and I posted this and then unposted it and then now I'm really posting it. Sorry I'm really new to this, and my laptop is being weird......it is on the verge of dying on me or needing medical attention....which is 80% of the reason I posted and unposted. (oops).

"And I wasn't even perfect"….. She kept hearing in her thoughts as she sat alone in her locker room. The echo of the sound of her voice kept getting louder and louder and she could focus on nothing else. She saved both Penny and Lily today, and reunited both with their parents. "What could be more perfect Jules?" She asked herself.

But as she glanced at her reflection staring back at her, all she could see was imperfection. Her thoughts became excecessively louder as she recreated the events of the day in her head. All Jules could see was all the things she could have or should have done better.

"So stupid Jules, so very stupid. You get busted again for not doing your psychological evaluation by the boss, and then you think even after a long day you can slack off and just go home and do nothing?. I mean really Jules, do you think an hour or 2 at the gym is really working out Jules? This is a man's world your in sweetheart. You want to make Sergeant someday, then you need to work for it. And on top of that, no one wants you. Sam .....maybe but it won't last. You know how many beautiful woman he can have....and you think you can even compare? Maybe be for a month of 2, your not actually a super model now are you? " her reflection screamed. Jules suddenly awoke from her temporary trance and smirked at the fact she just caught herself having a ridiculous conversation with her reflection.

***********REWIND*********************************************

"Daddy, daddy, please don't cry" 7 year old Jules Callaghan said to her father as she climbed onto his lap, giving him the biggest hug in the world.

" I'm sorry baby. Daddy is just going to miss mommy very much. Do you know how lucky I am Julianna to have you? You and your brothers, especially you. You are the greatest gift you mother ever gave me. When you smile and with those beautiful brown eyes, it reminds me of her you know? Suddenly Daddy's isn't so sad anymore sweetheart. But I do miss her sweetheart, your mother well she was just perfect". Jack Callaghan said to his daughter as his hand stroked her chestnut brown hair.

"Don't worry Daddy, I'm going to be perfect just like mommy when I grow up." a confident Jules proclaimed to her father as she gave him another huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I will Daddy, I will, I'm going to be just like mommy. I love you so much daddy and I'm going to make mommy proud in heaven you'll see." Jules whispered softly in her father's ear.

"Sweetheart, your already perfect, and your mother and I are will always be proud of you" he said smiling to Jules, as he promised himself to never allow his little girl to ever forget her mother and how what a remarkable woman she was.

7 year old Jules made a promise to herself that day. She continued to hug her father as she quitely thought..... "I'll be perfect daddy, so perfect just like mommy....Daddy won't cry for mommy anymore until we all see each other up in heaven someday."

****************fastforward*********************************************

As Jules unlocked the door to her condo, she sighed and headed towards the kitchen as she plopped several bags of fast food on her kitchen counter, as if the rest of Team 1 would be joining her. But the truth was they weren't and in a trance like mode she began to endulge in the fast food. She couldn't stop, she was famished and she couldn't eat fast enough. It seemed like days that she hadn't had anything but water or coffee. All of a sudden she was painfully full. Too full that her so called dinner didn't feel satisfying, and made her sick, she raced to the bathroom.

Hovered over the toilet Jules began to purge herself. As she did so, she felt instant gratification that she didn't feel stuffed anymore. But she also felt a moment of absolute pleasure as if she was also purging herself of all the imperfections of the day. All the pain she felt inside, masked by her smile. All the pain of being unsure if you really belonged or if people really liked you. The pain of feeling that there was no one out there that could possibly love you back. The pain of never being quit good enough.......it's overwhelming.

She then glanced at her pale reflection again . "I'm just tired and I work crazy shifts. I didn't eat anything yesterday and I got carried away to the point of making myself sick…..leave me alone alright it has been a long day." she yelled loudly to herself. "Great more conversations with myself, if I didn't know any better I think I might be going crazy".

Should I continue? Or is this storyline totally boring and dumb? Review please bad, good, ugly.......let me know!