Welcome to "Random Naruto Tales," a collection of short stories and bizarre misadventures starring our favorite Naruto characters. Everything will be as In Character as possible, although there may be exceptions for comedic purposes. But don't worry. Nothing too random... At least not without warning...
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Leaves of Age
Guy was happily walking down the streets of Konoha, enjoying the beauty of the world. It was a lovely day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and everyone was enjoying their Youth! "What a beautiful, Youth-filled day!" Guy exclaimed, grinning boradly and blinding several bystanders with the gleam of his teeth.
"MY EYESSSSS!!!" one man fell to his knees, clawing at his face. Several people dragged him to safety while trying to shield their eyes from the brightness of Guy's Youthful smile.
Guy didn't notice this, of course. He was in his own little Youth-centric world. As he continued to walk down the street, he stopped in front of a flower shop. "AH!!!" he exclaimed as he leaned forward and sniffed several bright flowers. "THE FLOWER OF YOUTH!!!"
"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" a familiar voice reached his ears.
"Hm?" Guy stood up. He hadn't realized that somebody had been holding the flowers he'd just molested with his nose. "Oh, hello Kakashi!"
"Hello, Guy..." Kakashi replied calmly. "Well, can I?"
"Sure, why not?" Guy smiled.
"MY EYESSSS!!!" a person nearby screamed.
"What's with your fixation on Youth?" Kakashi asked. "I've just always wondered about it..."
Guy's smiled got bigger. (And the screams got louder.) "Because Youth is beautiful! Everyone deserves to enjoy it while they have it!"
'Well, you're only as young as you feel..." Kakashi shrugged.
"Heh, you and your philosophical quotes..." Guy smirked.
"No, really. Everyone thinks I'm 27," Kakashi explained, "But I'm actually 72."
"Is that why your hair is white?' Guy arched a bushy eyebrow.
"No..." Kakashi stared at his friend. "I'm kidding... But seriously, Guy, why do you constantly babble about the Flower of Youth? I mean, what's wrong with old age?"
Guy's smile faded, and his eyes narrowed. "What's wrong with old age? Everything is wrong with old age..."
"Hm..." Kakashi studied his friend's disturbed facial expression. "I'm sensing some deep psychological trauma or something... What happened?"
"Well..." Guy sighed. "When I was a boy..."
---
Flashback to a young Guy, who looks remarkably... no... eerily like Lee, and Guy's father, who looks exactly like Guy currently does. "Son..." Guy's father stated with the same voice as present-Guy.
"Yes, Father?" boy-Guy asked with the exact same voice as Lee.
"You're going to get old one day," his father stated bluntly.
---
"And that's why you're scared of old age?" Kakashi arched his solitary exposed eyebrow.
"No..." Guy shook his head. "What caused my fear was..."
---
Yet another flashback, this time of kid-Guy and his grandfather, who looks like your cliche old guy sitting in a wheel-chair with a long grey beard and a cane. "Soooo..." the old man grinned maniacly. "You're Father told you that you'd get old?"
"Yeah..." Guy nodded his head. "Is it true?"
"YES!!!" the old man exclaimed, jabbing him in the chest with his cane. "ONE DAY YOU'LL BE OLD LIKE ME, AND THEN YOU'LL DIE!!! DIE, I SAY!!! BWAHAHAHAH!!!" Then without warning he fell out of his chair and died of old age.
"Grandpa?" the young Guy asked quietly.
---
Guy sniffed as tears began to well up in his eyes. Kakashi just stared at him in horror. "Wow... I mean..." Kakashi shook his head, "That's just... wow..."
"So now you know why I love Youth and hate old age!" Guy went back to his normal self and flashed a bright smile.
"MY EYESSSS!!!" several people screamed.
"Yeah..." Kakashi nodded, deeply disturbed by the tale he'd just been told. "Yeah, I do..."
"Well, bye!" Guy turned to walk away. "I hope you keep on enjoying your Youth!" And with that, he strolled away while whistling a happy tune.
"Hm... Time to buy new flowers..." Kakashi tossed the violated roses over his shoulder and walked back into the flower store.
After a few minutes, a man walked out of a store and began ringing a bell. "Bring our your blind!" he cried out. "Bring out your blind!"
Several people who had been blinded by Guy began to walk and crawl towards the man. Kakashi walked out of the store with some new roses, took one look at the scene, and then walked away. "I won't question it..."
Yeah, I know... That was messed up...
Next chapter: A Day at the Beach
Review, please! Give me some constructive criticism, advice, flames, suggestions, or whatever else you want to tell me! Say tacos, for all I care! Just please be polite and review!