AN: Since we don't know too much about Josh, I decided to write this short fic about him struggling to adjust to college. As someone who just finished their freshman year, I know how hard and horrible it can be. Honestly, I think this was way better in my head, but hey, I tried.
Joshua Gabriel Matthews stood in front of his dorm building at New York University. He looked in awe of how unbelievably flawless the campus was. This was it, this was real. He was going to spend the next four years here. He was going to officially start his adult life.
Moving in was both physically and mentally exhausting. His mom would not stop crying. His dad kept making empty nest jokes to cheer her up, but she just cried even harder (Josh didn't think that would be possible until he saw it). But eventually, the three of them dragged all of his things to his new home for a year. After his dad pried his mom off of him, Josh inspected his new room, ready to take on the world.
The first few weeks involved partying, and boy did he party. Everything was perfect. He loved his roommate and already made some friends from his visit to the campus last year (now that was a day to remember). He joined his brother's family (and Maya, who for some reason didn't pay that much attention to him anymore. Not that he cared) for dinner all the time. He was flying, and as his quirky niece would say, there was no end to his horizon.
On the fifth week of school, he gets a D on a calculus exam. Josh can't breathe. He studied for hours, maybe even an entire day all put together, for this test. Everything goes downhill from there. His NYU friends are always too busy for him. His Philadelphia friends are miles away (Skype calls and texts aren't enough, and plus they're doing great, he shouldn't bring them down). And there was absolutely no way he could talk to his parents about how he's getting D's on exams. He can't go to Cory about how he feels stupid and alone and so unbelievably exhausted (and not just because of the lack of sleep). No. He wouldn't go to them; he wanted them to be proud.
He tries to look on the bright side. Oh god he tries. But college is an endless amount of questions he just doesn't have the answers to. What's your major? What job do you want? How are you going to prevent yourself from ending up in a cardboard box on the side of the road? Not to mention he's so behind. All of the students here were all like Riley's strange friend (Narkle? Darkle?) times ten. They knew everything. They had everything planned out while he couldn't even decide what he wanted for breakfast half the time. How was he supposed to compete in the real world with these robots?
He wants to distract himself from his growing crisis by hanging out with Auggie and Riley. But suddenly the curly-haired boy was too busy for him. Stupid Ava. Stupid Dewey. (Pronounced Doy. What the hell is wrong with New Yorkers and their concepts of names?) And his favorite niece (okay so she's his only niece, whatever, it still counts) is too busy with all her love triangle drama. Why her and Maya (he doesn't care, he swears) both like that cowboy he'll never know.
Finals week comes up and Josh is the most miserable he's ever been. His grades aren't terrible, but they are nowhere near his usual standard (but that was high school, college is a totally different ball game, he tells himself. But a little voice inside his head laughs at that lame excuse). He's sleep deprived and lonely and just so goddamn tired. He feels like he's barely breathing, hanging by a thread, like the universe is pulling him harder and harder to the bottom of the ocean. He's trying to swim up, but he's just drowning, and sometimes (a lot of the time) he just wants to go under.