"Are you an idiot?" Cold blue eyes examined the man before her with unconcealed disdain, her small body tense as monstrous hands locked around her waist, so large that he was able to interlock his fingers behind her back.

"Fufufu... Just as eloquent as daddy-dearest, I see." His inhuman grin should've been frightening, and it probably would've been, had it not been so terribly transparent. "Can't a man compliment a beautiful young lady without getting his head bitten off?"

She raised a violet eyebrow, "Not when he's shacking up with her father, he can't." She crossed her arms over her ample chest, "So I'll ask one more time. Are you an idiot, or do you just have a death wish? Or maybe it's both?"

Doflamingo smirked, "Just a severely undersexed man appreciating someone who has grown into quite a ravishing beauty and hoping perhaps we can... get to know each other a little bit better..."

"So it's a death wish, then. Fair enough." She brushed him off a little too easily, before walking away.

She knew that this man was beyond dangerous, had seen him dismember traitorous members of his crew with inhuman glee. She also knew that he was highly intelligent - at least, more intelligent than he let on - and recognized the danger involved in harming her in any way. Her father had never been an overly affectionate man, but she knew he liked her well-enough to reduce the man before her to a dehydrated corpse should he so much as lay a finger on her.

Crocodile and Doflamingo were in the middle of one of the longest dry spells they'd weathered since starting this... well, whatever it was that the two shared. Not surprisingly, Doflamingo had done something or other to piss off the ornery Croc and he'd been withholding sex ever since. Quite honestly, Merci was surprised that Doflamingo wasn't trying harder to get into her pants. Three months without sex must've been absolute torture for him.

That, or he actually did possess a brain, and he realized that trying to sleep with his sometimes-lover's daughter was a very, very bad idea. And not just because the little darling was all the best that Croc had to offer, wrapped up in a smoking-hot vessel of teenage angst.

"Where is the ornery old man, anyhow?" He'd expected to stumble across Crocodile in the sitting room, looking out the large picture window that dominated the entire far side of the house. Crocodile usually spent his lazy Sunday afternoons there, relaxing.

"Avoiding you." Merci answered nonchalantly, as if this wasn't supposed to deeply offend the other man.

Doflamingo sighed, "And I trust he's warned you about disclosing his whereabouts?"

Merci smirked, "You know the old man so well." Doflamingo's shoulders slumped almost imperceptibly, knowing he would get no more information from the girl. She was fiercely loyal to her father, only in part because she'd been half-terrified of him her entire life.

This was only made worse by the fact that Doflamingo had actually come with the intent to apologize to the ornery bastard, having realized the true extent to which his actions had made him uncomfortable. During their last encounter Crocodile had damn near killed him and he wasn't too anxious for a repeat performance, but he also acknowledged his only chance of saving what they'd once had was to try and make amends.

From the look on the kid's face, it was more than likely that she knew what had happened. Croc was never one to kiss and tell, but when he drank too much he tended to get a loose tongue regarding things that pissed him off - most notably, Doflamingo.

He honestly hadn't meant to do it! Could he really be blamed for getting carried away in the midst of passion? According to Crocodile - yes, yes he could. In the heat of the moment, he'd decided it would be a good idea to try and remove Crocodile's hook. He'd actually succeeded, too. Had it not been for the cross between absolute terror and anger on the older man's face, he probably wouldn't have realized he'd done anything wrong.

Merci watched him for a moment, before asking, "You really like Daddy, don't you?"

"Huh?" He responded ever-so-eloquently. That certainly hadn't been what he'd expected her to come out with.

"That's why you're here, isn't it? Because you care about him." She explained, her voice gentle. "A man like you could have anyone that he wanted, so finding another partner wouldn't be difficult. And yet you're here, to try and fix things between you and Daddy."

"Does he think that I've been sleeping around on him?" Doflamingo almost sounded offended.

Merci frowned, "Ten minutes ago, you were trying to talk me into bed. Is it really all that surprising that he has absolutely no faith whatsoever in your ability to keep it in your pants?" Ouch, that was cold. Not that he wasn't expecting that sort of treatment, but still. Ouch.

Doflamingo met her irritated gaze with some difficulty, seeing as she was a full five feet shorter than him. "Junior Croc, I'm telling you - I haven't gotten laid in three months. No sex. No blow-jobs. I haven't even jacked off!" Okay, perhaps that was an exaggeration, but it got the point across.

"You know... now that Mom's gone, Daddy doesn't have anyone either." Merci offered, but Doflamingo had never once doubted that Crocodile was faithful.

Croc had only ever cheated on him once, and really, more than anything, Doflamingo blamed himself for it. They were both treading new and, sometimes uncomfortable territory with this relationship. It was only natural that they'd stumble every now and then, searching out each other's boundaries. Doflamingo had pushed too hard, too soon... Crocodile had ended up in bed with Robin... and seven and a half months later, Merci was born.

Doflamingo could admit that he'd slept around during the early stages of their relationship, but that had come to an end after the whole Merci debacle. Now, he still liked to tease, but that was as far as he dared go. While they never really discussed 'feelings' with one another, Doflamingo realized that they were dancing around their feelings for one another every time they were together - and Crocodile equated emotions with weakness, therefore Doflamingo was an unnecessary vulnerability.

Doflamingo wanted to prove that he could be more than a vulnerability, that he was worth more and that this... whatever it was that they shared shouldn't just be thrown away because it was new and confusing and downright terrifying at times. Because Doflamingo had already forgiven Crocodile the world, and maybe, just maybe, he thought it was high time that Croc returned the favor.

Merci sighed. "I still can't tell you where he is." Doflamingo slumped, and the tiny girl took pity on him. "But I will say this. Just because I can't tell you where he is doesn't mean you can't look for him yourself. He should be relatively easy to find, since he doesn't expect you'll be looking for him."

"Thanks, Junior Croc." He turned, heading toward the grand staircase that led to the second floor of the estate. There was no time to waste if he'd been given free reign of the house.

"Oh, and one more thing." She rose to her full five feet and two inches, glaring up at Doflamingo with steely blue eyes. In that moment, she reminded him so much of Crocodile it was scary. "You hurt him again, and a serious case of blue balls will be the least of your concerns. I will make you wish you were dead."

Under normal circumstances, a tiny little girl like Merci posed absolutely no threat to Doflamingo whatsoever. But he had a feeling that that little girl could be very dangerous given the right circumstances... "Noted." He wasn't going to taunt a hungry croc, after all.

"Good." And then she smiled, which was almost as disturbing as her look of pure agitation. "Now get going, before I change my mind."

He didn't have to be told twice.

A/N: So, this is my first attempt at a DoflamingoXCrocodile fic. I wanted to break away from the idea that Doflamingo would be the one cheating, and take a look at the consequences to their relationship should Crocodile cheat and have a child with that woman. I think that there is potential in their relationship for it to be more than just sex.

So let me know what you think, and I'll try to have the next chapter up soon!