A/N: This is my first fanfic ever, so please review and tell me what you think about it.
Pain In My Heart
Chapter 1
The bell rang. Lily stuffed the book she had been reading in her bag and went out of the library making her way through the jostling crowd to her Defence Against the Dark Arts class, rather reluctantly. She hated Defence Against the Dark Arts. She had never been good at it, in fact she was the worst in class. Outside the classroom her classmates from Gryffindor and the Slytherins were already waiting by the time she arrived. Defence Against the Dark Arts was the only class the Gryffindors had together with the Slytherins. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, the inseparable Gryffindor gang, were laughing at some joke. Lily joined her friends Kathleen Wood and Anita Jones who were reading a copy of Witch Weekly.
"Hey, Lily", Kathleen greeted her. "You have to look at that", she said thrusting Witch Weekly at Lily. "Contact lenses that change colour! All colours available and you can even program the changing interval!" Lily smiled. Kathleen was always crazy about the latest fashion.
"Kat, honestly, who wants eyes that look like traffic lights?" she said shaking her head. Kat rolled her eyes. "You've got no sense for fashion!" she complained. "Have I already told you that?"
"About a hundred times!" Lily said laughing. She looked over to the Slytherins who were making their own jokes, presumably about the Gryffindors, judging by their smirking faces. Among the Slytherins was Severus Snape, the one Lily could stand the least of the whole school and this feeling was most likely mutual. She caught Snape's eye.
"Looking forward to another Defence Against the Dark Arts class, Lily?" he sneered at her. He couldn't stand Gryffindors in general and especially not Lily. That almost top-student of the school, conceited like anything who always hung around with that James Potter and Sirius Black who he hated – if possible – even more. To his luck Lily had exactly that single class where she was really weak with him. And he didn't miss a chance to take advantage of that and tease her about it. He remembered all too well the time as they had Flying lessons together and she and her friends had teased him about his weak flying skills. Lily and James had both been picked for the house Quidditch team and ever since Severus had envied them their popularity and success. At that time he had promised to pay them back.
Lily merely answered with a scowl in his direction to the mocking question. Sirius who had overheard the remark called over to her loud enough for Severus to hear it: "If you ever feel bothered by him and you think you need some help – like beating him up for example – just let us know about it." He winked at her.
"If I were you, I wouldn't talk so big, Black!" Snape said coldly.
"You don't believe me? You'd be surprised!" Sirius retorted.
At that moment the classroom door opened and Professor Flitwick, the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher let them in making an end to their argument. Lily, Kat and Anita took their seats in the third row, Kat and Anita still talking excitedly about their colour-changing contact lenses.
As everyone had settled down, Professor Flitwick announced: "We are going to have some practical experience today. I'll pair you off and we will practice duelling."
Lily groaned. Especially this was what she hated most about Defence Against the Dark Arts: duelling. They had already practised it a few times before and each time Lily had lost spectacularly to whichever partner she took. It was her bad luck that Professor Flitwick liked duelling so much, so he had them do it rather often. One wouldn't believe it of the tiny man but he was an excellent dueller and had even won several championships the recent years.
"I'm going to put you together in pairs regarding your ability in duelling", he went on. "When I'm calling your name, join your partner."
Morosely Lily watched James being paired off with Sirius, Kat with Anita...
"Evans" As Professor Flitwick reached her name he gave a sigh and shook his head. "Well, join Pettigrew", he finally declared. Reluctantly Lily made her way towards Peter Pettigrew. He wasn't a good student in general and he had only passed all his classes so far because his friends James, Sirius and Remus were helping him. Somehow, Lily thought, he doesn't really match them. He seemed rather weak and dumb in comparison with his clever friends who were always up to something plotting ways of sneaking out of the school and that sort of thing. He hadn't reached her level of inability for Defence Against the Dark Arts yet, though.
Finally everyone was paired off except for Severus Snape who stood next to Flitwick and was usually used for demonstrations Flitwick made. He was by far the best in class. Already in their first year he had known an awful lot about the Dark Arts. He seemed fascinated by them. He could even be a match for Flitwick, Lily thought.
Flitwick however ended her thoughts by announcing: "Today we are practising how to disarm your opponent and how to block it. Face your partner and hold your wand in the combative position. On the count of three one of each team will disarm the partner with the words 'Expelliarmus' while the other one blocks the curse with 'Fermato'. I'm going to demonstrate the bit here with Snape."
Flitwick and Snape faced each other, swung their wands and Flitwick cried: "Expelliarmus!" sending red sparks at Snape which Snape blocked easily shouting "Fermato!" and sending blue sparks against the red ones which froze in mid-air and vanished. "Excellent", Flitwick beamed at Snape and Severus gave a complacent smile. Then Fitwick turned to the rest of the students: "You've all seen how it works. Now – ready? One – two – three –"
Lily, noticing Pettigrew to start the disarm-curse swung her wand and cried: "Fermato!" only to find herself being hit backwards by a stream of red sparks and falling to the floor some feet away, her wand flying out of her hand. Her back aching she got up and picked up her wand for a new try, Peter watching her with a pitiful expression. The lesson went on with Lily – whether she was the attacker of defender – not achieving anything. Her wand simply didn't do what she wanted. It was rather depressing that even Pettigrew who was usually the worst in every class was even better than her in Defence Against the Dark Arts. But what did it matter, she was used to losing after all and to the disapproving looks Flitwick gave her every time.
Severus who stood leaning against the wall (he didn't have a partner and didn't need to practice after all) watched her all the time with a sneer on his face. Pitiful, he thought. She's even incapable of performing the easiest spells...He liked those lessons where he could just lean back and watch the others. Preferably Lily since this was a subject where she was really bad at for a change. It gave him a feeling of complacence and superiority to see that.
Finally the bell rang for the end of the lesson. Relieved Lily packed her back and pushed towards the door with the rest of the students. Over the noise she heard Professor Flitwick call: "Evans, Snape! I want a word, please."
Surprised Lily turned back giving Kat and Anita a puzzled look and telling them to wait for her in the Gryffindor common room and followed Severus to the desk.
Also Severus was surprised and wondered what Flitwick could want. Why didn't he tell me while the others were practising? He stopped in front of the desk eyeing Flitwick with a baffled look.
"Miss Evans", Professor Flitwick began. "As you probably know yourself, you're the worst student in this class." Severus gave her a nasty grin.
"Today's lesson was the final prove that it can't go on like that", Flitwick continued. "Therefore I chose someone for you who will give you some extra lessons and help you to improve your marks. And you, Mr. Snape, as you might have guessed by now, are this person."
Lily's face fell. She stared at Professor Flitwick in horror. If she had to work with Snape – him of all people – it would be a nightmare. Snape always treated her with such contempt, was always sneering about her inability in Defence Against the Dark Arts and making sarcastic remarks.
"But, Professor...you can't – " she spluttered. She looked at Snape. He wore a morose and disdainful expression. Clearly the thought of having to sacrifice precious free time and having to teach her on top of that didn't please him either.
Severus was, indeed, not pleased. That was all I needed – having to help *her* to a better mark! he thought grimly. But it would be no good arguing with Professor Flitwick.
"Oh, yes, I can and I will." Professor Flitwick said in a determined voice. "I would ask you to forget your disputes for a while now and start working. It is for a good purpose after all. You will train twice a week on Tuesday and Friday evening. I'll make sure my classroom will be free for you at this time. That's it. You may go now."
Still speechless Lily went out on the corridor, Severus following her.
"Already dreading the tuition?" He sneered after having closed the door. "I really don't know what Flitwick's expecting, I doubt there is anything one could do about your marks. You're beyond help if you ask me."
"Oh, shut up, you stupid git!" she hissed turning on her heel and storming down the corridor towards Gryffindor tower.
Severus watched her with a grim expression. I'll give her a good hiding on Tuesday, he promised himself.
***
Outraged Lily stormed up the staircase, along the corridor to the entrance to Gryffindor tower, snapped the password at the Fat Lady and let the portrait slam shut after she had climbed through the hole. Outside she could hear the Fat Lady shriek in indignation. Sitting in a corner she saw Kat and Anita still busy with Witch Weekly. She went over and let herself fall into an armchair.
Noticing the expression on Lily's face, Anita asked: "What's up, Lily? What did Flitwick want? You don't look as if you were in the best mood."
"He makes me taking tuition because I'm so bad at Defence Against the Dark Arts. Said this was the final prove that I had to do something about my bad marks and he's chosen someone to help me and give me extra lessons. And I give you three guesses who that someone is!" Lily snarled.
Kat and Anita looked at Lily in an unbelieving way. "You don't mean –" Kat began.
"Yes, exactly. Severus Snape!" Lily finished bitterly. "I don't want to think about that I'm now going to spend two free evenings a week with him. It'll be awful!"
"Oh, Lily", Anita said sympathetically. And Kat added: "Rather you than me. I would make an effort to get over with that as quickly as possible if I were you."
"That's a good piece of advice!" Lily said sourly. "Don't you have something better on tap? How I can get one over on Snape for example?"
But her friends couldn't come up with anything useful either. Still grumpy Lily finally went up to her dormitory, sulking.