I don't own these characters; Disney/ABC does.

A/N: this story takes place after season 4, but ignores all of season 5. As usual, I do not have a beta, so please excuse my mistakes.

A/N the second: So, this concept has been done to death, but here's my two cents of it. It started out where I was going to use this story to try to explore Robin Hood's character while getting some domestic SwanQueen going, but I junked that plan as soon as I started writing this. I hope everyone sticks around anyway. There will be SwanQueen, so there's that. Last but not least, if you want updates on the story, you can catch my Facebook page (there's a link on my profile) or just check my profile. Okay, so, after all of that, on with the story!

Right Here

1: Negative and Positive

Henry woke up expecting to have breakfast waiting for him, as that was the norm for the Mills' household. But, before he even left his room, he could tell something was off. He did not smell any food in the air and he did not hear his mother moving downstairs. He scratched his forehead as he stuck his head out of his doorway. There were no signs of life in the house.

"I thought she was better," he muttered. His mother had been in a bit of a funk on and off for the past couple of months, which he supposed made sense.

One, his mother had just lost the sister she did not even know she had. He did not know the full story of what happened to Zelena, but from what he could gleam from whispers, Zelena had killed herself. He was not sure why or if it was even true, but his aunt was certainly dead and it definitely affected his mother. He was not sure, but he suspected his mother would have enjoyed having a sister and Zelena taking that from her was worse than trying to erase her from existence.

Of course, finding out she had a sister who was trying to erase her from existence could not have been good for his mother, Henry figured. His mom tried to play it off, but he could not imagine finding out he had a sibling who hated him enough to want him dead even though they did not know each other. Making matters worse, there was more his mother had to deal with, more she had to grieve.

There was the fact that his mother also lost her supposed soul mate. It was made worse by the fact that his birth mother was the reason his mother lost her soul mate. Emma brought back Robin Hood's wife from being executed in the past. Robin Hood went back to Marian. No one knew how much it really affected his mother. Yes, she had gone through a period of not talking to Emma, but everyone assumed she was over it when she went through hell to bring Marian back from the ice coma she had been in thanks to the Ingrid the Snow Queen. People had even declared his mother a hero from that, but she never really looked like she believed that.

But, after stopping some demons in Storybrooke things had been quiet and his mother had been even quieter. She tried to put on a mask, to pretend she was the same person she used to be, but the pretense was not a very good one in his opinion. The rest of the town seemed to buy her mask, seemed to be think Regina was all right, but Henry could see the pain underneath, see the fine cracks, and he hoped like hell she did not shatter anytime soon. His mother went through the motions of life. She tried to live, but she was failing in his opinion. Some days were better than others.

"Today seems like it's going to be one of the bad days, though," he sighed, his heart heavy.

He went downstairs to see if he might be wrong, to see if maybe his mother was just going about her routine so quietly it would make church mice envious, but there was nothing was going on down there. He returned to the second floor and went to see if his mother got out of bed. He knew on days when he stayed with Emma, his mother would stay in bed all day and then pretend she had not once he came home. But, he was not an idiot and he could tell from her unmade bed, not quite as perfect hair, and hastily put on makeup.

"Mom?" Henry called as he knocked on her bedroom door.

There was no answer, so he knocked again. The sound hammered through the quiet and seemed to slam up against his ribs. This might be the worst yet. Then, he heard a faint sound. It sounded like coughing. He pressed his ear to the door and heard more than coughing. It was like heaving. His mother was throwing up.

"Mom? Mom, are you okay?" Henry opened the door and poked his head in slowly. He wanted to give her plenty of time to get herself together if she needed to. "Mom?"

The sound of more vomiting reached his ears and he grimaced. He stepped into the room and took a quick look around. His mother was not there. The door to her en suite bathroom was closed. He went to that door and heard violent retching.

"Mom? You okay?" he asked as he knocked on that door.

Regina groaned. "Henry?"

"Yeah, Mom. You all right?"

"I'm…" She paused and made an unholy gurgling noise. "I'm all right."

"You don't sound all right, Mom."

"I'll be out soon…" She heaved again.

Henry was tempted to poke his head into the bathroom, just to see her, but hearing her was enough for him to know she was not fine. "Okay, Mom." He made a point to make noise as he left the room, so she knew she was alone again. He could hear her throwing up even more and groaning as if she was pained.

Henry stayed outside Regina's room, waiting for her. After a couple of minutes, she did not come out, so he went back in. It was silent. He knocked on the bathroom door.

"Mom?" There was no answer. His heart might have stopped. "Mom?" And he might have forgotten how to breathe.

Henry put his hand on the knob, half expecting the door to be locked. It turned out he was wrong and he opened the door just enough to see his mother prone on the floor. He gasped, icy terror shooting through his body. For a split second, he was frozen.

"Mom!" He fell to her side as his heart leaped into his throat. "Mom?"

Regina only groaned. She did not appear to be unconscious, but her eyes were closed. She was sweating and her skin was chalk white. Henry jumped up and rushed to his room. He grabbed his cell phone. Thank you Emma for getting me a cell! He called Emma without a second thought.

"What's up, kid? It's early," Emma complained with a yawn.

"It's Mom! There's something wrong!"

Emma gasped and he could hear her sit up. "What's wrong with your mom? I'll be right there."

"She was throwing up all morning and now she's lying on the floor. I don't think she can get up!"

"Okay, kid. Relax. I'll be there right after I put some pants on."

"Yes, please."

Henry hung up and ran back to his mom. She was still on the bathroom floor, just as pale and clammy as before. He bent down next to her and put his hands just over her. He wanted to touch her, hold her, assure her everything was going to be all right, but he was too scared. He did not want to chance making things worse.

"Mom, it'll be okay," Henry said, panting, unable to control his breathing. His heart pounded in his chest and everything in his body seemed out of control, like he was about to come apart at the seams, but it did not matter. His mom needed help and she was the only thing that mattered.

"Henry?" Regina mumbled and then she put her hand flat on the floor, as if she was about to push herself up. "I should… I should… make breakfast…"

"Mom, don't move. Emma will be here any second." Or so he hoped. Emma was not the best at magic, but she was getting better. He hoped she remembered she had magic. If she decided to take the Bug instead, he might have to call the police… beyond the sheriff anyway.

"Emma?" Regina said the name if she did not know who that was. Her brow furrowed as if she was trying to remember his birth mother.

"Yeah. It'll be okay. Are you hurt anywhere? Can I do something for you?" he asked, his hands still hovering just over her, ready to spring into action if necessary. He was trembling, though, and he tried to convince himself it was not anxiety, but just preparedness that caused him to shake. I need to help her.

Before he could get any answers, Emma made her presence known. "I'm here, kid! Where are you?" Her voice sounded like it was downstairs. She must have teleported to get to the house so fast. Good.

"The bathroom in Mom's room!" Henry replied.

"You didn't have to call her," Regina muttered. Her voice was weak and scratchy. Her throat probably hurt from throwing up.

"Mom, you're sick. I need help and you need help," Henry pointed out.

Regina let loose a choked moan, but did not object. Emma burst into the room, slamming the door against the wall. Henry's eyes shot up to her as Emma fell to their sides.

"Regina, are you okay? Is it magic? Were you attacked?" Emma inquired.

"I'm fine," Regina groaned as she attempted to get up once more. She made it further than before, partially sitting up with the support of both hands and somewhat leaning into Henry.

"You're not fine, Mom. You've been throwing up all morning," Henry replied.

Regina grunted and shook her head. "It's not the first time. I'm fine. You didn't need to rush over here, Sheriff."

"To Hell with that! You got the kid all worked up and worried and, honestly, so am I if you're lying on the bathroom floor after throwing up," Emma said.

"I was merely resting. My stomach has been a little upset. It's nothing," Regina insisted. She took a deep breath and then sat all the way. "Now, if you both might give me a little privacy, so I might finish my morning rituals. Afterward, Henry, I will get started on breakfast."

Henry shook his head. "You can take your time, Mom. I can have cereal or something." He did not want her to overexert herself and get up even worse.

Regina sniffed. "I refuse to send you to school with a belly full of sugar." She frowned as if that was the worst piece of mothering she could possibly do.

"You heard your mom, kid," Emma said and she mussed his hair. She then nodded toward the door. It was not very subtle, which was what he expected of his other mother, but Regina was too distracted by her illness to notice.

"Right. Okay, Mom, we'll leave you alone for now, but this isn't over," Henry said.

Regina waved him off, but did not make any move to climb to her feet. Henry stared at her for a moment, but did not say anything. There was some color coming back to her cheeks, which gave him a little hope. Emma stood up and Henry followed her. They left the room and went downstairs.

"All right, fill me in. What are we working with here?" Emma asked in a whisper, glancing up the stairs.

"This is like the fourth time she's been sick in the bathroom. She doesn't know I can hear her when it's quiet enough. It's usually earlier in the morning. She might have the flu, but doesn't want to admit it," Henry replied.

"Why do you think she has the flu? Has she been sneezing or coughing?"

He shook his head. "No, but she's definitely sick. She's been going to bed earlier than usual. Again, she doesn't think I know, but there are times when I can't sleep or I just want to read and I notice all the lights are out."

"Anything else?"

He put his hand to his chin and tried to think of something. "Oh, she took a nap a couple of days ago. She said she was just tired, but she never takes naps."

Emma nodded. "Maybe her age is catching up with her. She's like sixty." She snickered.

He snorted, but then glared at his other mother. "This is serious, Emma. Her age wouldn't make her sick like that."

"No, you're right. Anything else?"

"Nothing I can think of, but it's not just today. This isn't new stuff."

Emma nodded. "I'll see if I can talk her into going to the doctor."

Henry loudly blew out a breath. "Good luck. I suggested that last week and you'd think I told her to go jump off a bridge."

"Well, this is Regina. If she wasn't melodramatic, none of us would even be here."

"Yeah, but this is probably serious, right?" Henry could not recall a time when his mother was sick. What if someone cursed her? It was not like she was exactly popular in Storybrooke, even though she had saved the town and people's lives a few times.

Emma rubbed her chin. "Maybe. Maybe it's something magic related. Who knows. I'll try to talk to her and see what's up, okay?"

Henry arched an eyebrow. "You think she'll talk to you? I mean, I know things are better between you two, but she still winces whenever she sees Robin walking around with Marian." He was not sure his mothers would ever be close after Emma changed the past. He understood why she did it, but he also understood his mom looked at it as losing her last chance to have some form of happiness beyond him.

Emma scratched the back of her neck. "I imagine that sting will be around for a while, but we seem cool. Hell, did I not almost become the Dark One for her?"

Henry scoffed. "You got lucky the fairies broke out of that hat and contained the Darkness."

Emma shrugged. "I guess."

"You guess? Do you really think Mom was impressed with those heroics?" Hell, he was barely impressed with those heroics. He almost lost Emma to the Darkness. It was in that moment, he understood sometimes being the hero was not always the best thing or even a great thing to do. He was fairly certain his mom felt the same way. But, if Mom does feel the same way, then Emma means something to her, right? So, maybe they can be close, be real friends again. He hoped so.

"Hey, she stepped in front of a demon god thing to save me. How is that any different?" Emma countered with a smug look.

Henry did not have a comeback for that one. Emma was right. While his mother might not have been on the road to become the Dark One with her sacrifice, she had been more than willing to lay down her life for Emma a couple of weeks ago. Maybe they are close. He was not sure now. He could not figure them out. Adults. They made his head hurt.

"Okay, but do you really think she'll talk to you about this?" Henry asked. His mother was not a talker, unless she was boasting about something or being snarky.

Emma just shrugged again. "Couldn't hurt to try."

That response did not instill Henry with much confidence. Their conversation was halted as Regina made her way downstairs. They both dashed to the sofa to try to act natural. Regina looked at them with pursed lips, but she did not say anything to them that hinted she heard the conversation.

"Henry, you should go put your clothes on. I know we're running late, but that's no excuse to do everything in your power to make us later," Regina said. She sounded almost normal, but she was trying too hard to sound normal. She had done much better with her appearance, though. She looked like she did everyday, ready to rule Storybrooke with a well manicured iron fist and some Prada shoes.

"You know, I could just take the kid to school," Emma offered with a smile. "I'll take him to Granny's for breakfast."

Regina curled her lip. "So you can let him have a milkshake in the morning and hang around your pirate friend?"

Emma groaned. "I keep telling you he's not my friend!" As far as Henry knew, Emma had been doing her best to avoid Hook, but he was not sure why. She told him sometimes people grew apart, but he did not know what that meant. Again, adults. He wished they just said what they meant sometimes.

Regina sniffed. "We've all heard the line before." She continued on her way. Henry laughed until Emma glared at him. He grinned at her and then rushed off to go get dressed.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma watched Regina as Henry dashed off. Was Regina just regular sick or was it something serious? If Emma had come in just now, she would have never suspected Regina was laid out in the bathroom a few minutes ago, weakened from vomiting. Maybe it was hangover. Except, a hangover would not be over so soon.

"So, Regina, tell me what's really going on," Emma said, making her way to the kitchen.

"Just what do you mean?" Regina countered as if she truly had no idea what Emma was going on about.

"Why were you out on the bathroom floor like you were at a bachelorette party last night? You been drowning your sorrows in hard cider?"

Regina looked her up and down, as if she was nothing. "Don't confuse me with how you problem solve."

Emma gave her a cheeky grin. "Oh, so that was someone else I toasted with at the bar in Granny's?"

Regina sucked her teeth and cracked a few eggs. Apparently, she was making breakfast, no matter what. "It was nothing. I've just been feeling queasy every now and then. I think I might be developing an allergy."

"To what?" Emma was not sure about when and how people got allergies, but she would look it up when the conversation was done.

Regina shook her head. "I'm not sure. I haven't been able to pinpoint what I've been using or eating, but what else could it be?"

"Henry thinks you're sick. What do you think?"

"I doubt it. I'm always fine afterward, maybe a little weary as I'm very much not used to that," Regina said.

Emma held in a laugh, too amused that Regina would not use the words "throwing up." She watched Regina work for a second, wanting to see how "weary" she was. Regina was certainly slow. Going to pick up a pan for the eggs, her hand shook a little, as if strained.

"Do you feel like a strong wind might be able to take you out?" Emma asked.

Regina chuckled. "Is the student challenging the teacher already?"

Emma shook her head. "I don't think I'll ever get to that point, but I was more asking because I can take Henry to school if you want me to. I'm serious about that. You don't have to do it all and you can ask me for help, especially with him. I'm his mom, too, right? We're doing this parenting thing together, now, right?" They never said it out loud, but that had been her general understanding of things since Regina no longer denied her any opportunity to see Henry or do things with him.

Regina sighed. "You're right. I've just been accustomed to doing it all by myself and… well, I want him to see I can do it all."

Emma's heart hurt a little. She's still worried about losing him. "He's not going anywhere, Regina. You can stop worrying about that."

"Even after the way I treated him over this whole… mess." More Regina euphemisms. "Mess" always referred to Robin Hood.

"He understood, Regina, just like I did. It's okay. Now, do you want me to take him to school?"

Regina's mouth turned downward as she thought on it. "Yes," she said softly.

Emma could not hold in her grin and she stood up just a little taller. It never failed to make her happy when Regina showed truth and faith in her. Plus, she had an excuse to come back and check on Regina later on, which was good. She had a little idea as to what might be wrong with Regina.

When Henry returned, Emma let him know she was taking him to school. She had to leave while he had breakfast, so she could go get the Bug. When she came back, Henry handed her an egg sandwich as they piled into the car. Emma glanced at him.

Henry shrugged. "Mom said you should have it. I guess as a reward for taking me to school since I missed the bus."

"Well, we both know I'm not going to turn down free food." Emma smiled and put the sandwich in the back seat. Most of the time, she would eat while driving, but not with Henry in the car. Regina would never forgive Emma if something happened to Henry because of a sandwich and Emma would never be able to forgive herself. On the way to school, Emma had the chance to assure him that she would make sure his mom was all right.

"How?" Henry asked.

"I won't let her 'I'm okay' her way out of this one," Emma promised him.

Henry smiled. "Thanks, Ma."

Emma beamed, all too happy to finally have a title of her own. She did not call attention to it. He did not seem to notice he said it, which was fine with her. She wanted him to do it whenever he felt comfortable with saying a title for her.

Henry hugged Emma as they pulled up to the school and then he was gone. She had to go to work, but had to make a stop first. She called David to let him know she would be late and then she pulled up to the pharmacy. She hoped the dwarf in charge did not notice her and she hoped like hell he was not working the counter or she would have to field way too many questions from her parents. Of course, her luck was cursed, so it was not just one dwarf at the counter, but the whole damned assortment. I should just shoplift the damn thing, but I'm the freaking sheriff around here.

"Fuck you, Fate. Fuck you so hard," Emma grumbled and then walked to the counter with her head held high. She ignored all of the stares as her items were rung up and she strolled out of the building. Fuck them. She was not doing anything wrong and it was none of their business.

"Emma, you're pregnant? Does this mean you're back with Hook?" David said, in her face the second she walked through the door at the sheriff's office.

Emma jumped back. "Damn it, Dad! Can I get the door before you let me know what traitorous gossips the stupid dwarves are?"

David put his hands up in a surrender mode. "I'm not judging or anything."

"Good, since the test isn't for me. So, no, I'm definitely not back with Hook and even if it was for me, this wouldn't make me get back with Hook. Did they call and congratulate you or something?" Next time, I'm going out of town to do this.

David puffed out his chest. "That they did. They're happy I'm going to be a granddad again."

"Well, like I said, the test isn't for me. So, you can put your pride away." She marched to her desk and flopped down.

"Not for you? Then for who?" he asked, his eyebrows knitted close together. He was undoubtedly mentally going down a potential list. Hopefully, he did not figure it out.

"No one you need to worry about."

"It can't be Ruby. I mean, she would just go buy her own."

"Not to mention Ruby has a whole entire girlfriend, who would then want to know how the hell Ruby got pregnant." Of course, with magic, who the hell knew what was possible. I might wanna ask Ruby about that. Hopefully, it's not too personal or something.

David nodded. "Oh, yeah. Then who?" He stared at her, as if that would get her to cave in and tell him.

"It doesn't matter. The person was too nervous to go buy it herself and I, like an idiot, volunteered." That was almost the truth. "Just know it's not for me and the dwarves need to learn to mind their business. I mean, what if it was for me and I was trying to keep it a surprise? Who are they to tell my business like that?" Emma huffed.

David nodded. "True, true. I'll talk to them about that. Besides, I don't want to know all of your business, especially at the pharmacy."

Emma chuckled and smiled. "Thanks, Dad. I promise not to buy anything too scandalous to avoid giving you a heart attack."

"That's all I ask."

"I'm sure it's not. Now, let's get to work."

David nodded and then day began. It was mostly quiet, paperwork, and the occasional call about vandalism. The day paused during lunch. Usually, Emma had lunch with her father or she went to bother Ruby at the diner, but right now, she had other matters to handle.

Emma went to the mayor's office and just smiled her way past Regina's assistant. It was not out of the ordinary for her to stop by every now and then. Despite what Henry thought, she and Regina got along pretty good most days. Yes, she could tell Regina was making a huge effort not to lose it on her for no reason, but that was something. Regina was at her desk, looking a little green.

"Regina, you okay?" Emma asked.

Regina did not get a chance to answer. She rushed up from her seat and made her way to the private bathroom in the corner. Emma rolled her eyes as she heard Regina vomiting. She went and stood by the shut door.

"I ask again, are you okay?" Emma shook her head, knowing what the answer would be.

"Fine," Regina groaned and then she threw up some more.

"You sure you're not sick?"

"I assure you I am not."

Emma rolled her eyes. She stepped away from the bathroom as she heard Regina turn on the sink water. A few seconds later, Regina emerged, looking a little worse for wear.

"So, what set that off?" Emma asked. Are there smells already getting to her or is she one of those poor souls who have morning sickness the whole day?

"What are you doing here, Emma?" Regina countered with a pointed glare. Her annoyance probably was not an act. Surely the Queen hated for someone to witness her weakness.

"I'm here to check on you and offer my two cents on what's making you spill your guts like that."

Regina waved her off as she took her seat. "It's nothing. Something must have spoiled in my lunch."

Emma held in a scoff. "That's what you're going with? Spoiled lunch?"

"It's the only way to explain why I can't stand the smell of it."

"No, there are other ways," Emma mumbled. "What smell set you off? I can't imagine there's lots of smells in a salad."

With a wicked glint her eye, Regina smirked. "Perhaps you should try eating one every now and then. If you must know, though, the dressing. It must have gone bad."

Emma rolled her eyes. "I somehow doubt you let anything from your house go bad, except maybe you."

Regina glared at her. "You're not as cute as you think you are."

"You say that, but we both know it's not true. Now, I have something that I think might clear up your mysterious illness."

Regina arched an eyebrow. "What do you have?"

Emma pulled out a box from the plain plastic bag and set it on the desk. She made sure to place the product name right where Regina could see it. Regina leaned in to get a good look and curled her lip.

"I assure you, Miss Swan, I have no use for that," Regina said, turning her nose up. Emma held in a wince. Things were not going good if she was suddenly "Miss Swan."

"Aw, come on, Regina! You've got to admit it lines up. The morning sickness, the fatigue, the fact that you can't stand the smell of something." Emma ticked each point off of her finger.

"That might be the case with other women, but not with me."

Emma tilted her head. "Why? Are you a born again virgin or something?" Oh, wait, what if that is some magical nonsense?

Regina growled at her. "Don't force me to throw you through the door."

Emma held up her hands in surrender. "You don't have to be that mean, Regina. How about you just entertain my moment of insanity? If it's nothing like you say, then it doesn't mean anything, except that I just blew money I don't have on a product I don't need."

"I have nothing to prove to you."

"Of course you don't. In fact, you'd be proving me wrong and you'd get me out of your hair," Emma pointed out. "We both know I'm going to keep at this until you prove me wrong or until I get another theory as to what's wrong with you. After all, I do think I'm cute."

Regina growled, but snatched up the box, knowing just how persistent Emma could be. It helped that Emma knew no matter what Regina threatened the most she would actually do was the silent treatment. It hurt like hell, yes, but was definitely better than being set on fire. Besides, she could always count on some outrageous threat to bring them back together and have Regina forgive her.

Regina stomped off to the bathroom yet again. Emma would not have been surprised if she left scorch marks on the rug. Emma sighed as soon as Regina slammed the bathroom door closed. If Regina was pregnant, who the hell had braved sleeping with her? Certainly not you, scaredy cat. Emma knocked against her forehead. Nobody asked you, brain.

Emma would be lying if the idea of Regina being pregnant did not twist her stomach and burn her throat a little. It hurt to breathe more than it should. She had no right to feel that way, not after ruining Regina's relationship with Robin Hood and doing whatever the hell she pleased with Hook. Not that Hook was much of a factor on her life anymore. That was one of the dumbest mistakes she ever made. How the hell did things get so bad that I actually let a guy wear me down? What am I, seventeen again?

Her thoughts were thrown off as Regina came out of the bathroom again. There was a scowl on her face, which Emma expected. She took her seat and Emma sat down across from her.

"This is absurd, you know," Regina stated.

Emma shrugged. "I think there are crazier things in this world. We've fought them, after all. Hell, I was almost the Dark One not too long ago. You almost got eaten by a Chernobog. How crazy was that?"

Regina's face did not even twitch. "Yes, but that's magic. Magic for me is as crazy as physics would be for a scientist here. This thing you're suggesting is bordering on ridiculous."

Emma's brow furrowed and she squinted, trying to figure out why Regina would think her theory was ridiculous. "Because you're a nun now?"

"You seem rather interested in my private life."

Emma laughed. "Nah, I know you don't have one. You forget, I'm probably the person most privy to your life after Henry. I know you don't do a damn thing and you avoid people like the plague. Hell, you've barely talked to Maleficent since your little operation ended. Wait, is she the father?"

Regina's frown deepened and she massaged her temples, as if dealing with Emma gave her a headache. "I hate you so much."

Emma grinned. "You love me."

Regina did not miss a beat. "I'd love to fling you out of that window."

"You're very grouchy today."

"I think that's every day when I'm subjected to your nonsense. You're hardly like this with other people. Why am I so special to deserve your silliness and witticisms?"

Emma laughed. "I think that's what best friends do."

"You can't just declare me your best friend."

"Oh, but we both know it's true. I have plenty of friends, but you have me and you have Maleficent. I'm fairly sure I'm the favored blond in this equation."

"Are you sure? I didn't try to put Maleficent under her own sleeping curse," Regina pointed out.

"Nah, but you also didn't gift Maleficent your favorite person in the whole world and you haven't cursed me to be a dragon for twenty-eight years. So, I think I got this."

Regina looked like she wanted to set Emma on fire, which only made Emma want to tease her more. Regina needed a little lightheartedness in her life and Emma liked the chance to be silly every now and then.

"Have you had lunch?" Regina asked, changing the subject with all the subtlety of a hammer to the skull.

"You want me to eat your salad?"

"Please. I already put the dressing on it. Now, just looking at it makes me want to…" Regina trailed off and her eyes strayed to the bathroom.

"You can't say throw up, can you?"

Regina just frowned even more. Emma wanted to tell her careful or her face would stay like that, but she decided against pushing her luck. Emma snickered, but took control of the offending salad. It was pretty good. There were nuts and berries and chicken in it. She might have to eat salad more often.

"You should check the stick," Emma suggested, trying very hard not to lick the bottom of the now empty food container.

"And while I disappear into the bathroom, do you plan to eat the plastic?" Regina asked.

"Stop stalling and go see what it says. You can rub it in my face if you're right."

"When I'm right."

Emma motioned into the direction of the bathroom. Regina got up and went to check on the stick. Emma heard the loud gasp and the low clack of something hitting the tiled floor.

"This is impossible," Regina whispered. "Impossible."

Emma was up and at the door quickly. "What's impossible? What happened? Was I right?"

"This isn't possible," Regina growled. "Go buy another!" she ordered with a fire in her eyes. It was surprise she had not set fire to everything.

Emma took a step back, not expecting such hot energy. "It said you're pregnant?" As an answer, Regina shoved the stick into her hands. She glanced down and saw a little plus sign.

Regina shoved her finger in Emma face, almost touching her nose. "I cannot be pregnant."

"Like I said, crazier things have happened."

"No, you don't understand. So, this thing is clearly defective. Go buy another to disprove it."

"Uh… Sure." Emma was not sure why Regina was so angry. When she put her mind to it, she was good with kids, especially when she was not setting them up to be eaten by the Blind Witch. Best not to say that out loud.

Emma hurried away before she said something stupid and went to buy another pregnancy test. She grabbed three different brands and when she got the counter, she glared at the dwarf. He jumped back.

"Not a word about this. Are we clear?" she snarled to let him know she meant business.

He whimpered and nodded. She snatched up the bag and went back to Regina rather than returning to work. If there was a problem, her father would call her. She dropped the bag on Regina's desk.

"Happy now?" Emma huffed.

Regina sucked her teeth and capped a bottle of water she was drinking. Apparently, she had prepped for Emma's return. Regina took the tests and disappeared into the bathroom. She did not come back out. After twenty minutes, Emma decided to knuckle up and knock.

"Regina, you okay in there?" Emma asked and once again, she felt like she knew the answer.

"It's… it's not possible." Regina sniffled.

"I'm gonna come in, okay?" Emma tried the knob to find the door unlocked. Regina was slumped over on the closed toilet, one test in her hand and her free hand stroking the bridge of her nose.

"This isn't possible," Regina insisted. "They all must be wrong."

"Regina, I don't think that's how they work."

"Then, it's a trick! Someone enchanted these!" Regina made a closed fist and snapped the test she held in half.

"Why would they do that?" Emma did not want to tell Regina outright that she was grasping at straws.

Regina shook her head and rubbed her whole face with her hand, not even caring about her makeup. "It's the only explanation. It's the only way any of this makes sense."

"What do you mean? Why can't the simplest explanation be the right one?"

"Because this isn't the simplest explanation! I can't possibly be pregnant and it's cruel of anyone or thing to suggest otherwise!" Regina flung the broken test the floor. The halves shattered on impact and Regina covered her face with both hands.

Emma had plenty of questions, but decided against asking them. Instead, she moved cautiously and wrapped her arms around Regina. Regina wept into her hands. Emma was not sure if it was from happiness, sorrow, or everything in between. It's never a dull moment around here.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: a doctor's visit for confirmation.