Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy IX... SquareSoft© owns it all..... -_-;;; unfortunately.. and nor do I own the lyrics to the songs; Adia my Sarah McLachlan and Angel also by Sarah McLachlan in this songfic...
Dedication: To Taemyr.... and others..... :):p
~**~Angels of Love And Innocence~**~
Part 1.....
**I'm empty since you left me...**
She ran. She walked. She mumbled to herself. She hugged her arms to her chest. She sobbed. She laughed. She shouted. But... nothing had gotten through to him, nothing at all. All he did was lay there on the bed, deathly pale, thin, wasting away each day as he became more sick with the passing minute.
Until the day he fell into coma....
She couldn't believe... she wouldn't! He couldn't die. He was never the type of person to die and leave behind what he secretly treasured... her. It had happened - him falling ill - when they were arguing about something down by the docks, the silent lapping of the waves hitting the stone dock couldn't prevent what had happened, what the worst was going to do or... bring.
**I search myself and everyone to see where we went wrong...**
The new Queen of Alexandria had watched as he had slipped into the murky dark depths below. Watched as the side of his head slammed into the side of the docks on the way down... and all because... she had lashed out at him, catching him by complete surprise, hitting him with all her fury, all her hate, all her pain, all her heart.
**there's no one here to blame, there's no one left to talk to....**
She wanted to lash out at him now. For reasons that were unknown to her. Yes... she had been mad at him for leaving her. For making her think things that were untrue, things that no one bothered to correct. She sat by his bedside, grasping his cold, clammy hand within her own warm and tender one, rubbing her fingers into the flesh, trying to share her warmth.
Tears of frustration, confusion, hurt, heartache spilled down her cheeks, staining the stark white sheets as she dropped his hand to rest by his side. She fell forward on the bed, her arms folded under her head as she sobbed quietly, but loudly to her ears.
**Adia, I thought that we could make it...**
" I was such an idiot! I can't believe I did what I did... I'm such a child at times too! Oh, Zidane... don't leave me... please... just don't leave me. Come back to me... ", Garnet Til Alexandros the 17th continued to sob into her arms as she stayed by his bedside for the rest of the night.
" Majesty... come on now. You need to rest... ", a soft, yet firm voice whispered softly into her ear as a pair of strong, sure hands gripped the tops of her arms lightly, lifting her from the bed.
Garnet opened her eyes and blinked as she lifted her head to find herself staring at Adelbert Steiner. She blinked a few more times, trying to get the sleep clear from her eyes as she reached up to wipe away at the dried tears that stained, soiled her cheeks.
" No... just leave me, Steiner... ", she whispered lightly, turning her head to gaze at the pale face.
Steiner frowned and then slowly backed away from her and the bed, making his way from the room, leaving her alone in the semi-darkness to sob again as he closed the door lightly behind him. Garnet shook her head and sniffled lightly, yet loudly enough for the young thief, actor laying on his deathbed to hear and somehow wake up.
" Oh, Zidane... I was foolish for doing what I did. Perhaps it was best if it were I who had fallen into that ice cold water, slamming my skull along the side of the dock. You probably won't even remember who I am or who you are if you awaken... ever... ", she whispered painfully to the quiet room.
**but I know I can't change the way you feel... **
She watched the still, calm, peaceful looking face for an answer and found none. He still gave no sign of waking up anytime soon. Garnet propped her elbows on the bed and grounded her palms into her eyes as she felt the burning of tears hit her again. She shook her head, willing herself not to cry anymore, will herself to stop acting like a baby.
" This is all just a bad nightmare and I'm going to awaken anytime soon with Zidane by my side, watching me as I sleep, with his arm around me protectively. This didn't happen. I-it never did! That's what it is... a b-bad bad, scary n-nightmare... ", she muttered to herself as she sniffled, her voice breaking instantly.
" What would Zidane have done if it were me in his situation? Would he go and do something stupid yet wonderful to be with whom he loves? Or would he just sit here... like me... sobbing uncontrollably, praying for something that probably wouldn't happen in the next couple of years?
Why is it I who has to go through this? Why can't it be... Quina... or even Steiner himself?! ", she demanded the room, waiting for an answer that would never be given.
**I leave you with your misery a friend who won't betray....**
" All I have now... is misery, and more misery. It seems to be my friend more then anyone in this world has been... first mother... now Zidane! What else is to come? Should I be expecting more from death itself? ", Garnet continued to mumble to herself and to the room.
' Talk a walk.... get some fresh air... get away from it all... '
Garnet nodded nimbly, absentmindedly as she stood up from the chair beside the bed. Before she turned to leave, she bent down, grasped Zidane's cold hand in hers and brought the palm to her lips. She kissed it firmly, yet tenderly, already knowing that he would never ever feel the touch of her lips or the softness of her hands again.
She then turned quickly, grabbed her heavy animal skinned cloak off the hanger in his closet and draped it over her shoulders as she slipped from the room to make her way down the hall towards the front doors where two tall, skinny blonde haired-blue eyed female guards stood, spears and shields in hand.
Garnet warily eyed them both as they both shot each other confused and concerned glances as their Queen approached them and then brushed past them to head out the doors that opened from the outside.
" Majesty! Where are you going? It's below zero out there, you'll freeze! ", one of them protested quickly as she brushed past them.
Garnet only shook her head, " Where I'm going... I wouldn't need to worry about freezing... ", she murmured lightly before flashing them a small smile and then disappearing behind the doors as they closed.
**I pull you from your tower.**
As soon as Garnet was past the two guards at the front of the castle gates, she tried to hug the heavy and warm cloak to her body. But it was no use... nothing could try to warm her warm heart that had gone cold now. She had no one to love and there was no one to love her back.
Garnet pulled the hood over her head and hid gratefully within the shadows that it provided. A small strangled sob escaped her lips as the memory of that fateful day continued to play over and over in her mind. Tears quickly followed the sob, but she made no move to erase them from her cheeks.
The cold winter's gusting wind quickly caught hold of the tears and permenantly glued them to her face, causing her exposed skin to go numb on the spot. Garnet continued to walk through her small town of Alexandria, ignoring the sympathic looks that people showed her, ignored the offered hands that were slid over her way, ignored them all... all but the cold and the... pain.
**I take away your pain and show you all the beauty you possess...***
Garnet shook her head hard, trying to ignore the sudden stiffness within her spine as the cold began to set in quickly. Nothing or nobody could take away her pain. All her pain had been caused my herself. It was all her doing and hers alone. So... then why did it feel that it had been him who had lashed out at her... lashed out at her with his all own pain, hate, fury, all his heart?
Something hard and solid hit her toes and she was pitched forward, her hood flying off wildly and landing draped on her shoulders that now trembled beneath the cloak. Garnet lowered her head in shame, hurt and anger as she felt the cold, wet snow slid up her gown to collect around her bare legs, freezing them even more on the spot.
The cold wind rushed past her face, throwing her long dark flowing hair wildly into her face and all around. She squished the snow that sat on the ground beneath her hands tightly, melting it with her hands quickly as she slowly flipped onto her butt to hunch over and examine her foot.
Purple. Bruised flesh. Slightly red and swollen from the cold and from the fall. Garnet grimaced as she gingerly touched it, letting a low cry of pain and anguish slip up from her vocal cords and past her lips as she applied pressure, making sure that nothing was broken.
She quickly stood up, and looked around her, around at the people who walked past her, not giving her any help this time. She couldn't blame them, she had dismissed them like they were flies just buzzing around, being annoying, when all they really were was trying to help her out. Garnet sighed heavily and then turned her back to the wind as she reached back to bring the hood back over her head.
**if you'd only let yourself believe....**
She then turned back towards the wind and began to walk again, not really knowing where or how she would end up. Not caring. Not believing.....
***
A sharp jolt of pain, yet relief hit hard to the left. Another to the right. Everything spinning out of control, not making any sense. To hard to think... to wonder... to call out.
Two pools of lush deep forest green suddenly opened up to the world, letting complete darkness take over again, but then a slim column of light that shined from somewhere.... but where was somewhere?
' Come back to me... '
A loud groan and then grunt sounded, followed closely by a rustling of fabric against fabric as bare feet connected with a plush carpet causing a gasp to sound through the air as the feet slowly and uncertainly travelled forward... forward to the unknown....
" ....D-dagger.... "
***
Garnet crinkled her nose and hugged the cloak tighter to her body, as tight as it would stretch, would go. There was a sudden ripping sound and then a sudden gust a freezing wind slamming into her body, throwing her backwards to the ground, which didn't provide a soft and gentle landing.
She groaned and then went to go grasp the cloak to wrap around her body again, but all she felt was air and coldness. The cloak was gone. It had been carried away with the wind. The snow underneath her was unbareable. It was too much... but so was the cold gusting wind that pelted her repeatedly with large ammounts.
**Spend all your time waiting for that second chance...**
Garnet slowly stood up on wobbly, frozen legs and crossed her arms over her chest, hoping that it would calm the cold, making it all go away. But... it didn't. Her gown was pressed to the front of her body like a thin second skin, giving no protection whatsoever from the cold and wind.
On uncertain and wobbly legs she walked slowly onward. There was no one in the streets anymore, everyone had seeked out the shelter that they had offered her. Garnet began to cry again, but no tears were shedded. If there were any... they were carried away with the wind.
Overhead, the two moons shone brightly against the diamond dusted skies, shining down on Alexandria, on her. She walked slowly for another three minutes before her legs buckled and she crumpled to the ground, pitching forward again instead of just falling straight down, landing face first in a large snowdrift.
Garnet's breathing was becoming labored and short as she allowed herself to lay in the snowdrift in only a thin gown. She opened her eyes slowly and felt her stiff, frozen long dark lashes scratch the snow, causing a strange raspy sound to float to her ears over the gusting of the wind.
She ran her tongue over her lips, tasting the blood that trickled from the dryness. She could feel the top skin - and maybe more - of her lips, all chapped and wanting to be peeled off. Garnet winced as she tried to move her legs and arms to push herself up from the snowdrift, but... nothing would listen.
**For the break that will make it OK...**
***
' Ignore their pleas. Ignore their bewildered looks. Ignore them all but one.... '
Slowly and uncertainly he had made his way outside, only to find himself almost thrown back against the brick walls by the power of the wind and cold. He was lucky he had decided to grab the wintercoat handed to him by one of the guards by the door.
What had they yelled at him before he had left? Something about someone leaving?
Zidane Tribal shook his head slowly, his neck becoming stiff from the cold. He wasn't going to believe that she was out here in this weather. He just wouldn't! He had to find her and he had to find her quick if she really was out here.
**There's always some reason to feel not good enough...**
He scanned the small marketsquare, knowing for a fact that she wouldn't be able to go far in this weather. He brought his hands to his mouth and sucked in a sharp breath that was quicly taken away from the wind that slammed into him again, causing him to double over clutching his stomach and throat.
" D-dagger... I... will find... you.... ", he whispered inaudibly as he tried to gather his breath.
Zidane slowly stood up, ignoring the wind that slammed into him repeatedly now as he brought his hands to his mouth again and shouted her name. Shouted her name over and over, hoping for some sort of response, some sort of answer to his call, telling him that she was alright... that she was... alive.
" DAGGER!! "
Silence.
The only sounds that answered him were that of the gusting wind that continued to slam into him, but he didn't flinch, didn't fall back to the ground, didn't bring his arms up to shield his exposed face to the cold... he just stood there, looking for her.
**And it's hard at the end of the day... **
Zidane continued to walk forward. He had only made it into the center of the small marketsquare when he spotted a bare leg that was not a healthy colour, but one of redness sticking out of a large snowdrift. His heart stopped completely and he had to wait for a large blast of wind to knock him back to life.
' That isn't her! It couldn't be her... she's safe! She found protection within a house.... yeah... that's not her.... ', he tried to assure himself as he quickly rushed to her, stumbling and falling to the ground a few feet away from the leg.
Zidane got up on his hands and knees and began to crawl frantically. He reached out to touch the leg and grimaced as he felt how hard and stiff it had become. He spotted a hand laying palm up sticking out of the snow as well and he crawled over to it and touched it as well, feeling the same thing he had felt with the leg; stiffness and hardness.... almost... lifeless....
" N-no... ", the sob escaped his throat as he began to dig desperately.
**I need some distraction or a beautiful release...**
His hand finally hit something just as hard as the arm and he rushed to brush the snow away from the back that was bare, swollen and red. He reached over and flipped the body onto it's back, the dark hair completely limp and stiff as it fell in front of the face. The entire exposed areas of the body were the same as the rest, stiff, hard, swollen and red.
Zidane shook his head hard and tried to swallow past the lump of tears that had lodged itself into his throat. He reached out and brushed the hair aside to peer down into the face of his Dagger, the face of the one he loved with his entire heart, the one who he was planning on settling down with, to start a family.
She was so cold. She was so stiff. She was so swollen. He shook his head again and brought her body up his, burying his face into her neck as he broke down, warm tears spilling down his cheeks to land on the frozen body. Zidane held her close, held her tight, hoping that this would be enough to bring warmth to her limbs, to her beautiful face so he could see her beautiful smile just once more.
**Memories seep from my veins.... **
He sobbed. Sobbed like a small frightened child who had just been seperated from his parents, who was alone and lost in the world now. Zidane placed Garnet back down onto the ground. She looked so peaceful, so calm, so... lovely. But... she had looked the same when she had lashed out at him as well.... only with this peaceful expression on her face now, she didn't look like she was in pain.
He quickly slipped the wintercoat from his body and draped it over her body as he bent over and scoop her up into his arms. Cradling her to his chest hard and tight, praying that he could make her warm again, make her this time feel his love that he had for her as he quickly made his way back to the castle, the gusting wind now pushing him towards it, almost as if telling him to hurry before the coldness that it had bestowed upon her took it's toll.
**Let me be empty and weightless and maybe... **
The two guards standing outside looked as Zidane came running up to them. As soon as they saw Garnet laying still and quiet in his arms, they immediately threw open the doors, ushering Zidane into the front hall. He glanced at the two blonde girls before running up the steps, taking them two at a time, wincing as the coldness left and was replaced by numbness that was unbearable.
Zidane rushed up the stairs, turned down the hallway and made his way towards her bedroom. He kicked open the door and half ran, half limped to the bed. He gently laid her down and then half ran, half limped towards the bathroom where two maids stood chattering away, five large pots of hot water sat on the in the fireplace, overtop of the fire.
**I'll find some peace tonight...**
" Don't just stand there! ", he snapped. " Pour all those pots filled with water into the bathtub and please... make it quick! "
They looked at him and knew he was serious. Zidane quickly left them to do what they were told as he rushed over to the bedside and knelt down beside Garnet's pale, yet red, stiff body and grabbed her hand, beginning to try and rub some warmth into her.
" Hold on, Dagger.... I'm not going to let you go just yet! I'm not ready to loose you... not yet... ", Zidane whispered to her as he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it over and over, the whole time staring at her face. He saw one of her perfect brows twitch and he continued on with what he was doing.
" Sir! Tis ready... ", one of the maids hollered as they stepped out of the bathroom, the other not far behind.
Upon site of the Queen laying on the bed and Zidane trying to warm her up, they both gasped. Zidane immediately bent over to pick her up and then hurry past them into the bathroom. He closed the door and locked it behind him as he made his way to the bathtub.
**In the arms of the Angel far away from here...**
The maids pounded on the door, demanding that he let them in, demand to know what he was going to do with her and he just closed his eyes, standing in the middle of the large bathroom with Garnet pressed to his chest in silence.
" What are you going to do with her Majesty? ", one of them shouted.
" I'm going to save her life!! ", Zidane shouted back as he opened his eyes and began to walk to the tub.
He looked down at the steaming water and knew that this should get her to warm up. Zidane quickly kicked his boots off his feet and laid her on the ground as he desperately ripped his clothes from his body, and then bent over to do the same to her, only being more careful.
**From this dark, cold lonliness, and the endlessness that you feel...**
He took one look at her completely naked body and pushed the thoughts away from his mind. He had something to do now and it wasn't her. He had to save her, try to keep her alive, try to keep her here for him. He reached over and picked her up off the ground and then stepped into the tub, holding her to him, rubbing her back, her stomach and her neck, just trying to get her to come around.
Zidane leaned forward in the tub as he pressed the front of her to him and continued to rub her back in circular motions with one hand, and with the other, he scooped water and poured onto her hair, trying to get it from it's stiff form into the beautiful silky long dark tresses that he had loved to run his hands through.
" Come on, Dagger! Come back to me.... don't leave me. You leave me and I'm going to just have to go looking for you... ", he vowed, whispering into her ear as he pressed soft, tender kisses to her temple and hair.
**You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie...**
After waiting for a response from her for the past five minutes, he decided to lean back against the tub and pull her on top of him, letting her rest on top of him, not minding at all the feel of her body pressed to his, rubbing up against his as he pulled her up higher so she wouldn't sink into the water and drown.
Zidane closed his eyes and listened to her heartbeat that pounded so faintly and so slowly against her chest, that he was beginning to think that all his efforts had gone in vain.
**You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here...**
***
' Warmth? How? When? Z-zidane.... '
Garnet's left arm twitched and she moaned lightly in pain and in relief of the sudden warmth. She slowly opened her eyes to find herself staring at a broad, wide shoulder to her left. She blinked once and listened to the steady heartbeat that pounded in her left ear, all full of life, of healthy.
She slowly lifted her head and winced as she felt pins and needles run down her spine, shooting them to every part of her body. She now gazed up at the strong chin that was always jutted out in determination, her eyes travelling up the face to rest upon the closed eyes that twitched everynow and then behind the lids that were the shade of a light purple.
Garnet tried to lift her entire body, but she ended up falling back down onto Zidane's with a loud groan and then cry of surprise as she realized that she was completely naked and laying in a bathtub full of still hot water with a naked Zidane underneath her.
**So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn...**
At the cry of surprise, Zidane's eyes flew open and he looked around the room, only to find himself in a tub with Garnet laying pressed to his body. He looked down to find Garnet staring up at him with tears brimming her soft chocolate brown eyes.
" D-dagger? You're... alive?! ", Zidane whispered as he brought an arm up to caress her cheek that was still slightly swollen, but not much.
Garnet sucked in a shuddering breath and nodded slowly, wincing, " Y-yes... very much alive... just as you are. "
Zidane smiled impishly but then winced as he tried to move his body around a bit, " Yes... I'm alive as well.. now, let's hope that you never decide to go a little walk through a snowblizzard again, hmm? "
**The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies,
that make up for all that you lack....**
Garnet flinched from his words and tried to draw back away from him, but couldn't as she felt his arms that were wrapped around her waist tighten upon movement.
" Z-zidane... why am I in a tub with you... completely naked? "
" Because this was the only way that I could think of to get you warm and to keep you alive through the night... ", he replied simply closing his eyes as he leaned his head back against the tub.
" You know I didn't go walking through that blizzard by accident... ", Garnet finally spoke up, breaking the silence that had been created after Zidane had leaned his head back against the tub.
Zidane immediately lifted his head and looked down at her, " W-what do you mean? Do you mean to tell me that my efforts for keeping you alive, to keep you by my side have all been in vain?! You MEANT to throw your life away? ", he demanded, his eyes searching her face.
**It's easier to believe. In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness, that brings me to my knees...**
Garnet bit her lip, trying to stop it from quivering as she shook her head slowly, lowering her gaze to rest on his toned chest, " Z-zidane... I didn't mean for this to happen, neither did I mean for what happened at the docks to happen either. I'm so sorry... I'm such an i-idiot! This is all my fault that we're in here... naked... laying in this tub... in each other's arms.... I'm so s-s-sorry! ", she sobbed as she buried her face into his chest and wept softly.
Zidane blinked and then sighed heavily, his deep green eyes softening completely, " H-hey... Dagger. It's not you fault that you're in here with me... personally I like it. But... what happened at the docks wasn't your fault. It was mine and mine alone. And also... your going to walk through a blizzard is also my fault. If I hadn't slipped into coma, then none of this would've happened... ", he whispered to her, gently stroking her hair as her sobs died down slowly to a hiccup every few minutes.
**In the arms of the Angel far away from here...**
" Y-you said you wanted me by y-your side... is that true? ", Garnet finally spoke up again, whispering against his chest.
Zidane nodded, " Yes! Of course I want you by my side... I want to marry you, I want to have a family with you, I want to grow old with you, I want to die with you.... everything I say now is what I want. Don't you? "
Garnet closed her eyes after placing a soft kiss to his chest, " Y-yes... ", she replied shakily.
Zidane held her tighter and then sat up, " I think we should get out now, don't you think? "
Garnet opened her eyes and then looked down at the top of her bare breasts before catching herself glancing down at Zidane's menhood through the ripples of the water that they caused with their movments. She blushed a deep red and then looked up at him, only to find him smiling and chuckling at her.
" Don't worry about it... it won't bite you. Has it yet? ", he assured her as he stood up in the tub and held his hand out to her, which she immediately accepted.
" I hope not... ", she replied as she held onto his hand and allowed him to pull her up.
**You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie...**
Garnet stumbled forward into Zidane's arms as he stepped out of the tub and caught her quickly. He stood her up properly and reached behind him into the shelves for some large towels. He handed one to her and helped her wrap it around her body that was now trembling uncontrolablly for some odd reason.
He then quickly grabbed one for himself and wrapped it around his waist. A soft gasp of surprise slipped past Garnet's trembling lips as she felt the world around her spin out of control. Zidane whirled around and caught her as her eyes rolled up into her head and she pitched towards him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and then gathered her into his arms, calling out her name every few seconds.
Zidane threw open the door and rushed over to the bed where he laid her down gently after pulling back the blankets. He then spun around to find himself facing Adelbert Steiner, General Beatrix and Dr. Tot. Steiner eyed his towel and then eyed Garnet who laid on the bed.
" What have you done to her?! ", he demanded as he quickly walked up to the bed, but Zidane shot out a hand to grasp his forearm and then pull him back.
" Just leave her! Let the Dr. look at her... ", he growled low under his breath as the older man.
Steiner blinked, " How dare you - - ", he stopped as he felt Beatrix's hand on his shoulder.
" Just leave it be, Steiner... ", she warned him, eyeing Zidane and Garnet.
**You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here...**
Dr. Tot rushed forward, his glasses sliding off the bridge of his nose as he stopped beside the bed and watched as Garnet continued to tremble and twitch uncontrollably. He reached down and grasped her wrist, trying to figure out her heartbeat. After a few minutes of everyone staring at him, wondering if she would be alright... Dr. Tot closed his eyes, gently placed Garnet's arm back underneath the blanket and sadly shook his head....
**In the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here....***
~~~End of Part 1........
Author's Note: Alright.... I know the song didn't go with part 1, but forgive me... I'm trying... I'm trying REALLY hard to learn how to do this Songfic thing. But... whatcha think? *nods* Yeah... I agree... it WAS long. *chuckles* I had to make it like that though... :p!!
But... what'dcha think of it? Good? Like my other short story that I have? (Love Will Grow) Please.... be honest about what you think!!
Thanks a lot!!!..
~Leia Avenrose~
" 'Cause we are born innocent... " - Sarah McLachlan
Dedication: To Taemyr.... and others..... :):p
~**~Angels of Love And Innocence~**~
Part 1.....
**I'm empty since you left me...**
She ran. She walked. She mumbled to herself. She hugged her arms to her chest. She sobbed. She laughed. She shouted. But... nothing had gotten through to him, nothing at all. All he did was lay there on the bed, deathly pale, thin, wasting away each day as he became more sick with the passing minute.
Until the day he fell into coma....
She couldn't believe... she wouldn't! He couldn't die. He was never the type of person to die and leave behind what he secretly treasured... her. It had happened - him falling ill - when they were arguing about something down by the docks, the silent lapping of the waves hitting the stone dock couldn't prevent what had happened, what the worst was going to do or... bring.
**I search myself and everyone to see where we went wrong...**
The new Queen of Alexandria had watched as he had slipped into the murky dark depths below. Watched as the side of his head slammed into the side of the docks on the way down... and all because... she had lashed out at him, catching him by complete surprise, hitting him with all her fury, all her hate, all her pain, all her heart.
**there's no one here to blame, there's no one left to talk to....**
She wanted to lash out at him now. For reasons that were unknown to her. Yes... she had been mad at him for leaving her. For making her think things that were untrue, things that no one bothered to correct. She sat by his bedside, grasping his cold, clammy hand within her own warm and tender one, rubbing her fingers into the flesh, trying to share her warmth.
Tears of frustration, confusion, hurt, heartache spilled down her cheeks, staining the stark white sheets as she dropped his hand to rest by his side. She fell forward on the bed, her arms folded under her head as she sobbed quietly, but loudly to her ears.
**Adia, I thought that we could make it...**
" I was such an idiot! I can't believe I did what I did... I'm such a child at times too! Oh, Zidane... don't leave me... please... just don't leave me. Come back to me... ", Garnet Til Alexandros the 17th continued to sob into her arms as she stayed by his bedside for the rest of the night.
" Majesty... come on now. You need to rest... ", a soft, yet firm voice whispered softly into her ear as a pair of strong, sure hands gripped the tops of her arms lightly, lifting her from the bed.
Garnet opened her eyes and blinked as she lifted her head to find herself staring at Adelbert Steiner. She blinked a few more times, trying to get the sleep clear from her eyes as she reached up to wipe away at the dried tears that stained, soiled her cheeks.
" No... just leave me, Steiner... ", she whispered lightly, turning her head to gaze at the pale face.
Steiner frowned and then slowly backed away from her and the bed, making his way from the room, leaving her alone in the semi-darkness to sob again as he closed the door lightly behind him. Garnet shook her head and sniffled lightly, yet loudly enough for the young thief, actor laying on his deathbed to hear and somehow wake up.
" Oh, Zidane... I was foolish for doing what I did. Perhaps it was best if it were I who had fallen into that ice cold water, slamming my skull along the side of the dock. You probably won't even remember who I am or who you are if you awaken... ever... ", she whispered painfully to the quiet room.
**but I know I can't change the way you feel... **
She watched the still, calm, peaceful looking face for an answer and found none. He still gave no sign of waking up anytime soon. Garnet propped her elbows on the bed and grounded her palms into her eyes as she felt the burning of tears hit her again. She shook her head, willing herself not to cry anymore, will herself to stop acting like a baby.
" This is all just a bad nightmare and I'm going to awaken anytime soon with Zidane by my side, watching me as I sleep, with his arm around me protectively. This didn't happen. I-it never did! That's what it is... a b-bad bad, scary n-nightmare... ", she muttered to herself as she sniffled, her voice breaking instantly.
" What would Zidane have done if it were me in his situation? Would he go and do something stupid yet wonderful to be with whom he loves? Or would he just sit here... like me... sobbing uncontrollably, praying for something that probably wouldn't happen in the next couple of years?
Why is it I who has to go through this? Why can't it be... Quina... or even Steiner himself?! ", she demanded the room, waiting for an answer that would never be given.
**I leave you with your misery a friend who won't betray....**
" All I have now... is misery, and more misery. It seems to be my friend more then anyone in this world has been... first mother... now Zidane! What else is to come? Should I be expecting more from death itself? ", Garnet continued to mumble to herself and to the room.
' Talk a walk.... get some fresh air... get away from it all... '
Garnet nodded nimbly, absentmindedly as she stood up from the chair beside the bed. Before she turned to leave, she bent down, grasped Zidane's cold hand in hers and brought the palm to her lips. She kissed it firmly, yet tenderly, already knowing that he would never ever feel the touch of her lips or the softness of her hands again.
She then turned quickly, grabbed her heavy animal skinned cloak off the hanger in his closet and draped it over her shoulders as she slipped from the room to make her way down the hall towards the front doors where two tall, skinny blonde haired-blue eyed female guards stood, spears and shields in hand.
Garnet warily eyed them both as they both shot each other confused and concerned glances as their Queen approached them and then brushed past them to head out the doors that opened from the outside.
" Majesty! Where are you going? It's below zero out there, you'll freeze! ", one of them protested quickly as she brushed past them.
Garnet only shook her head, " Where I'm going... I wouldn't need to worry about freezing... ", she murmured lightly before flashing them a small smile and then disappearing behind the doors as they closed.
**I pull you from your tower.**
As soon as Garnet was past the two guards at the front of the castle gates, she tried to hug the heavy and warm cloak to her body. But it was no use... nothing could try to warm her warm heart that had gone cold now. She had no one to love and there was no one to love her back.
Garnet pulled the hood over her head and hid gratefully within the shadows that it provided. A small strangled sob escaped her lips as the memory of that fateful day continued to play over and over in her mind. Tears quickly followed the sob, but she made no move to erase them from her cheeks.
The cold winter's gusting wind quickly caught hold of the tears and permenantly glued them to her face, causing her exposed skin to go numb on the spot. Garnet continued to walk through her small town of Alexandria, ignoring the sympathic looks that people showed her, ignored the offered hands that were slid over her way, ignored them all... all but the cold and the... pain.
**I take away your pain and show you all the beauty you possess...***
Garnet shook her head hard, trying to ignore the sudden stiffness within her spine as the cold began to set in quickly. Nothing or nobody could take away her pain. All her pain had been caused my herself. It was all her doing and hers alone. So... then why did it feel that it had been him who had lashed out at her... lashed out at her with his all own pain, hate, fury, all his heart?
Something hard and solid hit her toes and she was pitched forward, her hood flying off wildly and landing draped on her shoulders that now trembled beneath the cloak. Garnet lowered her head in shame, hurt and anger as she felt the cold, wet snow slid up her gown to collect around her bare legs, freezing them even more on the spot.
The cold wind rushed past her face, throwing her long dark flowing hair wildly into her face and all around. She squished the snow that sat on the ground beneath her hands tightly, melting it with her hands quickly as she slowly flipped onto her butt to hunch over and examine her foot.
Purple. Bruised flesh. Slightly red and swollen from the cold and from the fall. Garnet grimaced as she gingerly touched it, letting a low cry of pain and anguish slip up from her vocal cords and past her lips as she applied pressure, making sure that nothing was broken.
She quickly stood up, and looked around her, around at the people who walked past her, not giving her any help this time. She couldn't blame them, she had dismissed them like they were flies just buzzing around, being annoying, when all they really were was trying to help her out. Garnet sighed heavily and then turned her back to the wind as she reached back to bring the hood back over her head.
**if you'd only let yourself believe....**
She then turned back towards the wind and began to walk again, not really knowing where or how she would end up. Not caring. Not believing.....
***
A sharp jolt of pain, yet relief hit hard to the left. Another to the right. Everything spinning out of control, not making any sense. To hard to think... to wonder... to call out.
Two pools of lush deep forest green suddenly opened up to the world, letting complete darkness take over again, but then a slim column of light that shined from somewhere.... but where was somewhere?
' Come back to me... '
A loud groan and then grunt sounded, followed closely by a rustling of fabric against fabric as bare feet connected with a plush carpet causing a gasp to sound through the air as the feet slowly and uncertainly travelled forward... forward to the unknown....
" ....D-dagger.... "
***
Garnet crinkled her nose and hugged the cloak tighter to her body, as tight as it would stretch, would go. There was a sudden ripping sound and then a sudden gust a freezing wind slamming into her body, throwing her backwards to the ground, which didn't provide a soft and gentle landing.
She groaned and then went to go grasp the cloak to wrap around her body again, but all she felt was air and coldness. The cloak was gone. It had been carried away with the wind. The snow underneath her was unbareable. It was too much... but so was the cold gusting wind that pelted her repeatedly with large ammounts.
**Spend all your time waiting for that second chance...**
Garnet slowly stood up on wobbly, frozen legs and crossed her arms over her chest, hoping that it would calm the cold, making it all go away. But... it didn't. Her gown was pressed to the front of her body like a thin second skin, giving no protection whatsoever from the cold and wind.
On uncertain and wobbly legs she walked slowly onward. There was no one in the streets anymore, everyone had seeked out the shelter that they had offered her. Garnet began to cry again, but no tears were shedded. If there were any... they were carried away with the wind.
Overhead, the two moons shone brightly against the diamond dusted skies, shining down on Alexandria, on her. She walked slowly for another three minutes before her legs buckled and she crumpled to the ground, pitching forward again instead of just falling straight down, landing face first in a large snowdrift.
Garnet's breathing was becoming labored and short as she allowed herself to lay in the snowdrift in only a thin gown. She opened her eyes slowly and felt her stiff, frozen long dark lashes scratch the snow, causing a strange raspy sound to float to her ears over the gusting of the wind.
She ran her tongue over her lips, tasting the blood that trickled from the dryness. She could feel the top skin - and maybe more - of her lips, all chapped and wanting to be peeled off. Garnet winced as she tried to move her legs and arms to push herself up from the snowdrift, but... nothing would listen.
**For the break that will make it OK...**
***
' Ignore their pleas. Ignore their bewildered looks. Ignore them all but one.... '
Slowly and uncertainly he had made his way outside, only to find himself almost thrown back against the brick walls by the power of the wind and cold. He was lucky he had decided to grab the wintercoat handed to him by one of the guards by the door.
What had they yelled at him before he had left? Something about someone leaving?
Zidane Tribal shook his head slowly, his neck becoming stiff from the cold. He wasn't going to believe that she was out here in this weather. He just wouldn't! He had to find her and he had to find her quick if she really was out here.
**There's always some reason to feel not good enough...**
He scanned the small marketsquare, knowing for a fact that she wouldn't be able to go far in this weather. He brought his hands to his mouth and sucked in a sharp breath that was quicly taken away from the wind that slammed into him again, causing him to double over clutching his stomach and throat.
" D-dagger... I... will find... you.... ", he whispered inaudibly as he tried to gather his breath.
Zidane slowly stood up, ignoring the wind that slammed into him repeatedly now as he brought his hands to his mouth again and shouted her name. Shouted her name over and over, hoping for some sort of response, some sort of answer to his call, telling him that she was alright... that she was... alive.
" DAGGER!! "
Silence.
The only sounds that answered him were that of the gusting wind that continued to slam into him, but he didn't flinch, didn't fall back to the ground, didn't bring his arms up to shield his exposed face to the cold... he just stood there, looking for her.
**And it's hard at the end of the day... **
Zidane continued to walk forward. He had only made it into the center of the small marketsquare when he spotted a bare leg that was not a healthy colour, but one of redness sticking out of a large snowdrift. His heart stopped completely and he had to wait for a large blast of wind to knock him back to life.
' That isn't her! It couldn't be her... she's safe! She found protection within a house.... yeah... that's not her.... ', he tried to assure himself as he quickly rushed to her, stumbling and falling to the ground a few feet away from the leg.
Zidane got up on his hands and knees and began to crawl frantically. He reached out to touch the leg and grimaced as he felt how hard and stiff it had become. He spotted a hand laying palm up sticking out of the snow as well and he crawled over to it and touched it as well, feeling the same thing he had felt with the leg; stiffness and hardness.... almost... lifeless....
" N-no... ", the sob escaped his throat as he began to dig desperately.
**I need some distraction or a beautiful release...**
His hand finally hit something just as hard as the arm and he rushed to brush the snow away from the back that was bare, swollen and red. He reached over and flipped the body onto it's back, the dark hair completely limp and stiff as it fell in front of the face. The entire exposed areas of the body were the same as the rest, stiff, hard, swollen and red.
Zidane shook his head hard and tried to swallow past the lump of tears that had lodged itself into his throat. He reached out and brushed the hair aside to peer down into the face of his Dagger, the face of the one he loved with his entire heart, the one who he was planning on settling down with, to start a family.
She was so cold. She was so stiff. She was so swollen. He shook his head again and brought her body up his, burying his face into her neck as he broke down, warm tears spilling down his cheeks to land on the frozen body. Zidane held her close, held her tight, hoping that this would be enough to bring warmth to her limbs, to her beautiful face so he could see her beautiful smile just once more.
**Memories seep from my veins.... **
He sobbed. Sobbed like a small frightened child who had just been seperated from his parents, who was alone and lost in the world now. Zidane placed Garnet back down onto the ground. She looked so peaceful, so calm, so... lovely. But... she had looked the same when she had lashed out at him as well.... only with this peaceful expression on her face now, she didn't look like she was in pain.
He quickly slipped the wintercoat from his body and draped it over her body as he bent over and scoop her up into his arms. Cradling her to his chest hard and tight, praying that he could make her warm again, make her this time feel his love that he had for her as he quickly made his way back to the castle, the gusting wind now pushing him towards it, almost as if telling him to hurry before the coldness that it had bestowed upon her took it's toll.
**Let me be empty and weightless and maybe... **
The two guards standing outside looked as Zidane came running up to them. As soon as they saw Garnet laying still and quiet in his arms, they immediately threw open the doors, ushering Zidane into the front hall. He glanced at the two blonde girls before running up the steps, taking them two at a time, wincing as the coldness left and was replaced by numbness that was unbearable.
Zidane rushed up the stairs, turned down the hallway and made his way towards her bedroom. He kicked open the door and half ran, half limped to the bed. He gently laid her down and then half ran, half limped towards the bathroom where two maids stood chattering away, five large pots of hot water sat on the in the fireplace, overtop of the fire.
**I'll find some peace tonight...**
" Don't just stand there! ", he snapped. " Pour all those pots filled with water into the bathtub and please... make it quick! "
They looked at him and knew he was serious. Zidane quickly left them to do what they were told as he rushed over to the bedside and knelt down beside Garnet's pale, yet red, stiff body and grabbed her hand, beginning to try and rub some warmth into her.
" Hold on, Dagger.... I'm not going to let you go just yet! I'm not ready to loose you... not yet... ", Zidane whispered to her as he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it over and over, the whole time staring at her face. He saw one of her perfect brows twitch and he continued on with what he was doing.
" Sir! Tis ready... ", one of the maids hollered as they stepped out of the bathroom, the other not far behind.
Upon site of the Queen laying on the bed and Zidane trying to warm her up, they both gasped. Zidane immediately bent over to pick her up and then hurry past them into the bathroom. He closed the door and locked it behind him as he made his way to the bathtub.
**In the arms of the Angel far away from here...**
The maids pounded on the door, demanding that he let them in, demand to know what he was going to do with her and he just closed his eyes, standing in the middle of the large bathroom with Garnet pressed to his chest in silence.
" What are you going to do with her Majesty? ", one of them shouted.
" I'm going to save her life!! ", Zidane shouted back as he opened his eyes and began to walk to the tub.
He looked down at the steaming water and knew that this should get her to warm up. Zidane quickly kicked his boots off his feet and laid her on the ground as he desperately ripped his clothes from his body, and then bent over to do the same to her, only being more careful.
**From this dark, cold lonliness, and the endlessness that you feel...**
He took one look at her completely naked body and pushed the thoughts away from his mind. He had something to do now and it wasn't her. He had to save her, try to keep her alive, try to keep her here for him. He reached over and picked her up off the ground and then stepped into the tub, holding her to him, rubbing her back, her stomach and her neck, just trying to get her to come around.
Zidane leaned forward in the tub as he pressed the front of her to him and continued to rub her back in circular motions with one hand, and with the other, he scooped water and poured onto her hair, trying to get it from it's stiff form into the beautiful silky long dark tresses that he had loved to run his hands through.
" Come on, Dagger! Come back to me.... don't leave me. You leave me and I'm going to just have to go looking for you... ", he vowed, whispering into her ear as he pressed soft, tender kisses to her temple and hair.
**You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie...**
After waiting for a response from her for the past five minutes, he decided to lean back against the tub and pull her on top of him, letting her rest on top of him, not minding at all the feel of her body pressed to his, rubbing up against his as he pulled her up higher so she wouldn't sink into the water and drown.
Zidane closed his eyes and listened to her heartbeat that pounded so faintly and so slowly against her chest, that he was beginning to think that all his efforts had gone in vain.
**You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here...**
***
' Warmth? How? When? Z-zidane.... '
Garnet's left arm twitched and she moaned lightly in pain and in relief of the sudden warmth. She slowly opened her eyes to find herself staring at a broad, wide shoulder to her left. She blinked once and listened to the steady heartbeat that pounded in her left ear, all full of life, of healthy.
She slowly lifted her head and winced as she felt pins and needles run down her spine, shooting them to every part of her body. She now gazed up at the strong chin that was always jutted out in determination, her eyes travelling up the face to rest upon the closed eyes that twitched everynow and then behind the lids that were the shade of a light purple.
Garnet tried to lift her entire body, but she ended up falling back down onto Zidane's with a loud groan and then cry of surprise as she realized that she was completely naked and laying in a bathtub full of still hot water with a naked Zidane underneath her.
**So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn...**
At the cry of surprise, Zidane's eyes flew open and he looked around the room, only to find himself in a tub with Garnet laying pressed to his body. He looked down to find Garnet staring up at him with tears brimming her soft chocolate brown eyes.
" D-dagger? You're... alive?! ", Zidane whispered as he brought an arm up to caress her cheek that was still slightly swollen, but not much.
Garnet sucked in a shuddering breath and nodded slowly, wincing, " Y-yes... very much alive... just as you are. "
Zidane smiled impishly but then winced as he tried to move his body around a bit, " Yes... I'm alive as well.. now, let's hope that you never decide to go a little walk through a snowblizzard again, hmm? "
**The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies,
that make up for all that you lack....**
Garnet flinched from his words and tried to draw back away from him, but couldn't as she felt his arms that were wrapped around her waist tighten upon movement.
" Z-zidane... why am I in a tub with you... completely naked? "
" Because this was the only way that I could think of to get you warm and to keep you alive through the night... ", he replied simply closing his eyes as he leaned his head back against the tub.
" You know I didn't go walking through that blizzard by accident... ", Garnet finally spoke up, breaking the silence that had been created after Zidane had leaned his head back against the tub.
Zidane immediately lifted his head and looked down at her, " W-what do you mean? Do you mean to tell me that my efforts for keeping you alive, to keep you by my side have all been in vain?! You MEANT to throw your life away? ", he demanded, his eyes searching her face.
**It's easier to believe. In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness, that brings me to my knees...**
Garnet bit her lip, trying to stop it from quivering as she shook her head slowly, lowering her gaze to rest on his toned chest, " Z-zidane... I didn't mean for this to happen, neither did I mean for what happened at the docks to happen either. I'm so sorry... I'm such an i-idiot! This is all my fault that we're in here... naked... laying in this tub... in each other's arms.... I'm so s-s-sorry! ", she sobbed as she buried her face into his chest and wept softly.
Zidane blinked and then sighed heavily, his deep green eyes softening completely, " H-hey... Dagger. It's not you fault that you're in here with me... personally I like it. But... what happened at the docks wasn't your fault. It was mine and mine alone. And also... your going to walk through a blizzard is also my fault. If I hadn't slipped into coma, then none of this would've happened... ", he whispered to her, gently stroking her hair as her sobs died down slowly to a hiccup every few minutes.
**In the arms of the Angel far away from here...**
" Y-you said you wanted me by y-your side... is that true? ", Garnet finally spoke up again, whispering against his chest.
Zidane nodded, " Yes! Of course I want you by my side... I want to marry you, I want to have a family with you, I want to grow old with you, I want to die with you.... everything I say now is what I want. Don't you? "
Garnet closed her eyes after placing a soft kiss to his chest, " Y-yes... ", she replied shakily.
Zidane held her tighter and then sat up, " I think we should get out now, don't you think? "
Garnet opened her eyes and then looked down at the top of her bare breasts before catching herself glancing down at Zidane's menhood through the ripples of the water that they caused with their movments. She blushed a deep red and then looked up at him, only to find him smiling and chuckling at her.
" Don't worry about it... it won't bite you. Has it yet? ", he assured her as he stood up in the tub and held his hand out to her, which she immediately accepted.
" I hope not... ", she replied as she held onto his hand and allowed him to pull her up.
**You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie...**
Garnet stumbled forward into Zidane's arms as he stepped out of the tub and caught her quickly. He stood her up properly and reached behind him into the shelves for some large towels. He handed one to her and helped her wrap it around her body that was now trembling uncontrolablly for some odd reason.
He then quickly grabbed one for himself and wrapped it around his waist. A soft gasp of surprise slipped past Garnet's trembling lips as she felt the world around her spin out of control. Zidane whirled around and caught her as her eyes rolled up into her head and she pitched towards him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and then gathered her into his arms, calling out her name every few seconds.
Zidane threw open the door and rushed over to the bed where he laid her down gently after pulling back the blankets. He then spun around to find himself facing Adelbert Steiner, General Beatrix and Dr. Tot. Steiner eyed his towel and then eyed Garnet who laid on the bed.
" What have you done to her?! ", he demanded as he quickly walked up to the bed, but Zidane shot out a hand to grasp his forearm and then pull him back.
" Just leave her! Let the Dr. look at her... ", he growled low under his breath as the older man.
Steiner blinked, " How dare you - - ", he stopped as he felt Beatrix's hand on his shoulder.
" Just leave it be, Steiner... ", she warned him, eyeing Zidane and Garnet.
**You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here...**
Dr. Tot rushed forward, his glasses sliding off the bridge of his nose as he stopped beside the bed and watched as Garnet continued to tremble and twitch uncontrollably. He reached down and grasped her wrist, trying to figure out her heartbeat. After a few minutes of everyone staring at him, wondering if she would be alright... Dr. Tot closed his eyes, gently placed Garnet's arm back underneath the blanket and sadly shook his head....
**In the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here....***
~~~End of Part 1........
Author's Note: Alright.... I know the song didn't go with part 1, but forgive me... I'm trying... I'm trying REALLY hard to learn how to do this Songfic thing. But... whatcha think? *nods* Yeah... I agree... it WAS long. *chuckles* I had to make it like that though... :p!!
But... what'dcha think of it? Good? Like my other short story that I have? (Love Will Grow) Please.... be honest about what you think!!
Thanks a lot!!!..
~Leia Avenrose~
" 'Cause we are born innocent... " - Sarah McLachlan