(A/N): This is what boredom and 3 cups of fruit does to me...Completely AU and crack. Don't say I didn't warn you. :P

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"Pika pi!" Pikachu chimed gleefully into the warm chest of his lover, Bill Gates.

Bill held the little rodent to his chest, feeling the steady heart beat in time with his own. The soft fur buzzed with electricity, not so much that it was painful, but it made Bill completely aware.

"Pikachu, pika pika pi," Pikachu beckoned mischievously.

Bill laughed silently, turned on by the little rodent's sudden request. "You're a dirty one, aren't you?" He asked.

Pikachu began biting Bill's neck, tracing his little rodent tongue up to his ear and down to his throat. Pikachu tried to unbutton Bill's shirt, but failed due to his lack of opposable thumbs.

Bill didn't want the mood to shift towards awkwardness, so he unbuttoned his own shirt and told Pikachu to keep going, and he complied, of course. It had been a long while since he and Bill were intimate, after all, what with all of the Microsoft bullshit and business Bill had to tend to, and Pikachu was left waiting for him all of those long and lonely nights with an annoying 10-year-old who never seemed to age who wore a stupid cap and had equally stupid hair. Luckily, he was able to ditch him to hang out with his nerdy man-candy.

There tongues met, and they intimately exchanged the lingering taste of the dinners they just ate. Bill with his expensive salmon, and Pikachu's liver-flavored Pokemon food.

Although Bill was getting on in years, he never had a problem with "Getting it up", and someone as sexy and desirable as Pikachu made it all the easier for him to get in the mood. It was so refreshing to be with someone who didn't want his money, also.

Pikacu broke the kiss. His little beady eyes blinked up and looked through Bill's glasses into his eyes.. "Pika."

Bill pet Pikachu's head gently. "Are you sure? We don't have any lube."

Pikachu nodded, his chubby little rodent face completely serious but excited, nonetheless.

"Fine, but if it hurts too much, I'm telling you to pull out, got it?" Bill began unbuckling his gray suit pants while Pikachu ran his little rodent tongue over Bill's chest, savoring the sent of his body spray. He carefully nipped at each of his nipples, being gentle not to hurt him.

Bill shifted his weight so that he was on his stomach, eagerly waiting for Pikachu to enter him. He knew it was going to hurt without any lube, but he'd suck it up. He was a man, after all.

Pikachu's tip prodded Bill's ass and slowly pushed it's way in. The pressure of it alone made them gasp, but after Pikachu's dick gained entrance the hard part was over. He gripped his little rodent nails into Bill's hips and eased in an ouch slowly, gaining speed with each passing moment.

"Pika pika!" Pikachu moaned.

"Don't...ah! Say stuff like that. It...agh..it's embarrassing!" Bill's face was red at the lewd comment his yellow little lover made.

Pikachu went faster, both were out of breath, but kept going. They could breathe after they were done. His small body rhythmically slammed against his lover's until one final jerk and then Pikachu pulled out and came onto Bill's sofa. Pikachu collapsed back onto the sofa and breathed heavily.

"Pikachu, pika pi pika."

Bill grasped his chest and took a breath in. "No, it's alright. I'll clean it later. I don't mind," He said between breaths.

They kissed each other one final time and closed their eyes, lulling into a deep and much-needed sleep.

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(A/N) I warned you.

Unfortunate things that happened while writing this:

I came into contact with a huge mosquito that caught me by surprise so I fell out of my chair onto a bottle cap that hurt my butt...DX

I was laughing so hard while writing this my neighbor threatened to rape me if I didn't STFU. XD

I got the hiccups.

This is the stupidest thing I've ever written...I think I'm gonna go puke now.