Hey everyone! So this story is basically a spinoff of I HATE YOU! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? But this is basically how life was with Hidan and Lexi, as you know they are the parents of Saito Rayven from I Hate My Dysfunctional Family. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy it. If you loved IHYDYNU, then you'll love this as well.

Lexi's P.O.V.

"WE DO NOT CUDDLE!" Eternal yelled at me, lightly since we were in a hospital.

I laughed more at the fuming silvernette, and hopped off the counter, letting the heels of my boots click when I did so. "Well, I'm going to check up on the patient in room 19. He has such a terrible temper, but great abs, so I heard! " I smiled, walking out the room and up the stairs to the mysterious man's room.

Eternal is just so lucky. She was born with such class and standards. She's idolized by many, young and old, and she's married to the most handsome man in the leaf village. Any woman would want to be her, she's perfect…well, that would be the thoughts of people who doesn't know my baby the way I do.

Well, let me start by introducing myself. My name is Saito Alexis, better known as Lexi. I really don't prefer my giving name. It irritates me when I'm called Alexis. My father named me after his grandfather Alexander II, but I found it annoying, so, I'm Lexi.

I've been Eternal's best friend for about 11 years now. We've known each other since the academy years, and I laugh back because if I didn't fail the first 2 years, I would have never met her. No, I didn't flunk because I'm stupid, but because I was very violent and didn't follow the rules of being a gennin. I didn't care really. You could say I was a bully. I knew I was better than most of the children there, I even challenge Itachi when he visit the school once, he didn't fight me of course, and I didn't want to fight him. I didn't want MY ass whop.

But still, once I met Eternal, that all changed. She was the first one to challenge me in everything I did. Everyone loved her for that, and they use to send her to me to put me on check sometimes. Of course, she was my rival then. I hated her. I hated everything about her, but it was then, I got tired of her. So, we did the only thing to settle things.

I challenged her to a 'friendly' spar. I was planning to kill her right then and there. In the ninja world, it's an eye for an eye, a fight for a fight, and a death for a death…well, that's my nido anyhow. We fought of course, throwing out all the stunts in the book, all the jutsu we knew and learn. The students were out there too, cheering her on.

But I was still better. I had her on the ground that day. She didn't have any more chakra, she wasted it all instead of managing it. I held a kunai to her neck, and just as I was about slash her to hell. I saw something in her eyes. She looked …prepare for death. Even when I was about to kill her, she still looked at me as if we were equals.

I dropped the kunai, and stood up, walking away. It was then that I learned that…

I'M BISEXUAL! Yea, I know…I really don't know either, she was my FIRST crush after that day, and after her, I started looking at woman with more interest. But I was still digging men at the same time. Yea, I still love Eternal, but she made it VERY clear to me that when she turns 22 she'll go out on a date with me, but sadly, Itachi beat me to the punch.

Sighing, I flipped my long black hair with natural red highlights back and fixed my short black leather dress that came to my upper thighs and white doctor coat. I opened the door to room 19 and looked around, catching the man at the right moment.

He had his head down in a prayer, his face stern and handsome, he looked serious. I didn't want to disturb him…if I cared that is.

"Hidan-san, it that right?" I walked in, showing myself to the handsome man.

His magenta eyes quickly caught my ruby ones in annoyance. "Yea? Who the fuck is you to barge in my fucking room while I'm praying?" he snapped at me.

I let a smirk play on my red lips and went to his clipboard to read it. "So, no last name, right?"

He tch. "HOW ABOUT YOU TELL ME WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE FIRST!" he cursed at me.

"Now now, no need to get touchy." I smirked at him "I'm your doctor. It seems that my nurses couldn't handle you, saying that you're a very difficult man to reason with. You even made my little ones cry" I wiped a fake tear away.

He stared at me, twitching. "You're telling me that a slut like you is my doctor?"

I flashed him a smile. "If you call me a very pretty slut then I'll say yes." I told him.

I let my eyes dance on him. This man wasn't so bad looking. He had short silver hair that was comb back in a very neat way. His skin was slightly tan, and his face was so masculine and handsome looking. And his piercing magenta eyes, oh I would stare deep in them all day.

As I was staring at him, he was checking me out up and down. I felt his eyes stopping at my breast and just glued there.

"If you be a good boy, I'll let you touch one." I laughed at him.

He looked back up at me, a blush spread on his face. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He yelled at me.

I soon began to tune him out and read his charts. "…I see, so, you're from Yugakure and you were on a special S rank mission between your leader and our hokage." I kept reading.

He scoffed. "Yep." he smirked.

"…And in the end, you ran out of chakra and fell off a tree at least 100 ft tall and ended up getting ambushed by the cloud, but thanks to Itachi-san, you were saved." I laughed. "HOW YOU RUN OUT OF CHAKRA AT A TIME LIKE THAT!"

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! THAT'S YOUR JOB TO FIGURE OUT!" he yelled at me.

I soon stop my laugh and looked at him. "Huh?"

This time, he laughed. "THEY PUT MY WHOLE LIFE STORY ON THERE BUT THAT?"

"S-So, you're telling me that it was un-natural?"

"No shit. If I were just fine, would I let some sl-"

"Pretty slut."

"Some bitch," he sneered "look at me." he said.

I stared at him, quiet. He was watching me with those magenta eyes. "So, I finally hurt the sl-"

"BUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPPPPP! Damn, that one was a big one. No more cherries for a while" I laughed, walking to the door of the room."

"DIGUSTING! WHAT KIND OF WOMAN-"

I faced him and grinned cutely at him. "Me. Now, I'll be back later. I have other patients to care more about." I told him.

"E-EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME?"

"You heard me. I'm sure you're not deaf. It's not mention on your life story." I pointed at his charts before walking out, letting my hip sway as I did so.

I felt his stare on me, making me smirk wider when I slammed the door close.

"FUCKING BITCH!" I heard him yell.

12PM

"Lunch time!" I walked inside of Hidan's room with a covered up tray.

He looked up at me as I set it down in front of him and helped him sit up. But he pushed me away from him. "Move! I can do it my fucking self!" he snapped, lifting himself.

"You're such a grouchy person." I playfully pouted, sitting next to him.

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!" he yelled at me, looking at me with a glare before looking back at the tray. "…What the fuck is it?" he asked me.

"…" I giggled a little. "Well, we understand that ribs are the main things in your nutrition…" I carried off with a playful grin on my lips as his mouth began to droll. "…So, I told the food department to make you a turkey sandwich." I said, lifting up the tray, showing his meal for today, which was a turkey sandwich with a bowl of beef stew, rice, chips and a cinnamon bun with a pot of tea, water and milk.

He twitched while I ohh at his lunch. "They made lunch look great today!" I looked at him. "Go on, eat it" I smiled. "I didn't threaten them for nothing."

"I WANT SOME FUCKING MEAT, NOT THIS-"

I stood up and grabbed the sandwich, putting it near his mouth before going to his ear. "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way, Hidan-san. Do I have to feed a grown ass man?" I asked him lowly in his ear.

He looked at me and I looked down at him as well, waiting for answer. He shortly tsk, and grabbed the sandwich and started eating it. I smiled at him and pulled away, sitting back in the chair. "Good, you're starting to care about what I say I see." I lend back on the chair, keeping my balance so I won't fall and placing my hands behind my head.

He was looking at me, but I wasn't paying attention. I started to day dream, looking up the ceiling and enjoy how time passed. All I could hear was him slurping and munching like a pig. It was cute to me. Well, I always did wanted a baby, maybe that's why it so cute to me.

"You know…you don't dress like a fucking doctor. It's fucking inappropriate." he told me, watching me.

I shrugged. "There are a lot of things I don't do that would be 'appropriate.'" I told him.

He kept his eyes on me, and I kept staring up at the ceiling thinking about my life for a good while. He continued on eating. "So, you gonna tell me or not?" he asked me.

I looked back at him. "Tell you what-"

I kicked my chair back to far, and felt myself about to fall. I screamed out loudly, about to collide on the floor, and pressed my arms tightly around my head, shutting my eyes tightly.

I expected pain right about now, but it didn't come, and I shortly heard Hidan's heart monitor making a long beep sound, meaning that his heart stop.

"HIDAN-" I stop my yelling when I came face to face with magenta eyes.

He caught me from falling, holding my waist in a tight grip. He was in my face, and I could feel his heart beating from this far. His breath was hitting my face, and even after he ate everything on that try, it smelt as if he only ate the cinnamon bun.

He smirked down at me, making me blush brightly. "Never-fucking-mind, Alexis." his eyes on my name tag.

His body, oh god, he had to have won the hottest body contest. He's ripped, and had such a great physique. I wanted to touch him, slide my hands down his chest to his abs, and maybe even lower.

But what got me best was his scent. It was exhilarating, he smelt so good. I could actually smell his blood as it ran through his veins to his organs. Something was over coming me.

My pale face lit up red, and my breathing was rapid, and the inside of my mouth was hurting. He looked at me confused. "The fuck is wrong with you?" he asked me.

I couldn't talk. My lips were dried, and I stared at his neck, his muscular thick neck. "Y-You saved me." I blushed more, leaning to the curve of his neck. "I…I need to…repay you…after this-" I stop my talking as soon as I saw his necklace. It had a medallion of a circle with a triangle in it.

"J-Jashin?" I asked him with wide eyes. "You're a Jashinist?" I looked up at him.

"Yep fully immortal and everything." he told me with a smirk. "Don't tell me they didn't have that on my life story either. Although, I am surprise that you know of us"

I shook my head. "N-No, they didn't because they don't know anything of Jashin, nor his people. Otherwise…I…wouldn't have accepted to be your doctor."

"And why the fuck not?" he asked me, narrowing his eyes. "You have something against lord Jashin?" he gave me a bloodlusting look.

I only stared up at him. "…No…that's not the reason." I said. "We're enemies, Jashinist." I told him.

"What the fuck are you talking about-"

"My full name is Saito Alexis, named after my great grandfather, Alexander II. Sounds familiar now?" I asked.

"…You're telling me that you came from a long line of bloodlusting bastards who my Jashinist family was at war with?"

"And still are." I told him.

He gritted his teeth and tossed me aside, making me fall on the floor. I hit the floor head first, and I could swear that I feel it bleeding.

"Great, just fucking great, you're a fucking Saito!" he soon sighed. "Now, I have to kill you-"

"You can't kill me. I'm an immortal too." I told him, looking in his eyes. "I'm pure."

I heard him sigh out. "Fuck! You're a damn pure blooded bastard I see." he told me, getting back in bed. "Then give me a new fucking bastard. I don't want to be in the same room with some damn vampirism whore." he called me.

I shortly stood up. "I couldn't disagree." I told him. "But, don't disrespect me. I'm about to put you with someone else, fucker!" I glared at him, letting my eyes turn a bright ruby color, before walk to the door.

I heard him scoff. "You think I'm scared of you, vampire whore?" he asked. "I'll chop your ass in pieces."

Twitching, I instantly got on top of him with a scalpel in my hand and towards his neck. "I can't kill you, but I'll cut out your vocals, and then we'll see who's talking shit. And get it through your thick ass head; I'm not a fucking vampire. We're cursed!" I glared at him.

I saw amusement in his eyes as he smirked. "If you weren't a Saito, I would have considered fucking you right about now. But too bad." He chuckled. "And the only reason why you guys are cursed is because you're family came from nothing but a long line of whores." He hissed.

He then grabbed me by throat, and squeezed the air out of me. He caught me off guard once he did that, and my hand twitched, barely leaving a cut on his neck. But once I did, the smell of his blood entered my nose, making me gasp and dropped the scalpel to the floor.

I knew this was a bad time, but the smell of his blood in fresh air made me flush and that pain in my mouth came back. I grabbed his hand, and pulled it away from my neck with a strength I didn't know I had as I stared down at his own.

The blood came flowing in a small crimson stream, and that's when I couldn't hold it in any long. I lend back into his neck, gently licking the small stream away, tasting it. It was better than what I thought it was going to taste like. It was a taste of many different things, but it was sweet mostly sweet.

I needed more. I went up, kissing his neck, trying to find that sweet pulse that had more of this fine blood in it.

I felt his hands gripping my waist, and I soon felt him licking my neck as well, biting it intimately. I moaned out lightly, and I finally found what I was looking. I sunk my teeth down, breaking his skin and to his vein. As soon as I did, his blood flooded its way into my mouth, and I gulped and began to drink from him, enjoying the sensation of such deliciousness.

His hands moved down and began to squeeze my ass as he winced and sighed in my ear. "You have…such a big fucking ass." he told me, kissing my neck and sucking on it, leaving marks. I laughed a bit in his neck in a sighing pleasure noise, and continued to drink, letting the blood run down my mouth on his chest.

What felt like 10 minutes, I pulled back, licking the remains before looking back at him, licking my lips. He only stared up at me before grabbing the back of my head and slammed his lips on my own in lustful kiss.

I could only laugh in his mouth, and that's when he plunged his tongue right inside, making me stop my laughing instantly. I responded back immediately, biting down on his lips as he did the same to mine in a more violent way. I explored his mouth, enjoying his taste of cinnamon.

He soon pulled back and was about to undo my dress, but I slapped his hand away. "Man, you didn't even ask me." I wiggled my finger at him.

"Yea, and you didn't even ask for this neither!" I pointed to two puncture marks on his neck.

I stared at them for a while before cooing. "Awww, you're angry!" I pulled his cheeks.

He slapped my hand away and got angry. "DON'T GO PULLING MY CHEEKS LIKE YOU'RE MY FUCKING MOTHER!"

"I am your mommy. I'm everyone's mommy…of medicine."

"YEA, AND THAT'LL CHANGE AS SOON AS I GET A NEW DOCTOR!"

I stared at him with fake confusion, placing my finger on my mouth. "A new doctor? Who said anything about a new doctor?" I asked him.

He was flabbergasted before going berserks. "WE GOT INTO A FIGHT! YOU'RE A FUCKING SAITO-"

"Oh yea, I remember now. Yea, I changed my mind." I told him. "Can't have someone like you get out my sight now."

His mouth was wide open, and that's when I swooped in and kissed his lips before walking out.

"We'll talk more about this tomorrow, Hidan-san. It's time for me to go home." I smiled at him, closing the door.