I've been listening to Christmas music all day, and this little drabble popped into my head. I don't own Star Trek, the Muppets, the 12 days of Christmas, or Christmas itself (can anyone own Christmas?)

Spock had just finished his 10 hour shift on the bridge and was heading to his quarters for some evening meditation when his pointed ears picked out faint strains of music. Ordinarily, the Vulcan first officer would simply ignore the sound and continue on his way, but he had a hunch that his captain would be responsible for the music and it was in Spock's best interests to… check up on the matter.

The music got louder as he approached the large recreational room that Jim Kirk often used. Spock walked briskly into the room, and was put at ease by what he saw. Music was indeed coming from the ceiling speakers, and many of his friends were engaged in recreational activities. Doctor McCoy and Mr. Scott were sitting at a small table with several bottles of what Spock assumed to be liquor; Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov were playing checkers, filling the air with curses in many different languages; and Jim was sprawled on a couch, talking to Lieutenant Uhura in such a tone that Spock knew that he was – to use a human term – hitting on her… and it seemed to be working.

Spock was only in the room for .8 seconds before Jim noticed him. "Spock! Good to see you!" He stood with an odd sort of happy smirk on his face. "Care to join us for our little Christmas in July party?"

Christmas in July? Spock took a moment to access what background information he knew on human holidays, but he knew nothing of this 'Christmas in July'. "Captain?"

Kirk didn't seem aware of Spock's confusion. "Come on and sit down, Spock, I'll get you a drink."

Spock didn't move. "For the 114th time, captain, I will deny alcohol. However, I must ask: what is Christmas in July?"

"Don't feel bad, we didn't know what it was either," Sulu said, momentarily tearing his focus from his game.

"You do know what Christmas is, right?" Jim asked. "We've been through this one before."

"I am well aware of the Christmas tradition. But must you have a second celebration of the birth of your supposed deity?"

"This isn't a religious celebration."

"Then I do not understand…"

"I'm not explaining it any further until you take a load off," Jim said sternly, pouring himself what Spock guessed was his third or fourth drink.

Spock immediately sat down between Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov. "Continue, Jim." Spock hoped that the man would take the use of his first name as a signal of submission.

Jim opened his mouth to speak, but paused to sing along with the music: "five golden riiiings!" which was followed by Doctor McCoy and Mr. Scott muttering "ba dum bum bum." Spock merely blinked and waited for this strange ritual to end.

After a moment, Kirk began to speak. "For quite some time, manufacturers and companies in the U.S. would mark July 25 as the day that the Christmas shopping season would begin. Purely secular."

"So why do you commemorate this day?" Spock asked, puzzled.

Jim shrugged. "It's an excuse to relax with friends and family, drink alcohol, give presents, eat food, and listen to Christmas music. Why wouldn't we celebrate it?"

"More alcohol!" Mr. Scott roared, clearly very, very intoxicated. Spock made a mental note to take the Scottish man off of morning duty. Kirk belted out the golden rings line again, knocking back a shot of a very dark drink.

"Honestly, captain, I still do not understand," Spock said.

Kirk nodded and spoke seriously. "You don't have to. I suppose that Christmas isn't something that you can really feel unless you're human."

"Especially if it's in the wrong month," Mr. Chekov muttered quietly.

"We're not keeping you from anything, are we Spock? I was about to order some food from the kitchens and you're more than welcome to stay if you want." Yet another round of the five golden rings and the ba dum bum bums. When was that song going to end?

Sensing that the captain really wished for his first officer to stay, Spock simply said "I would enjoy that."

"Glad to have you aboard."

"Hey Jim, what're the odds that we can get a real turkey on this flying hunk of metal?" Dr. McCoy asked.

Jim held up a finger and pointed to the ceiling. "I'll find out in a minute, Bones, we're on the last verse: five golden riiings!"

Spock found himself muttering the sounds "ba dum bum bum" after his captain's exclamation. If it were appropriate for a Vulcan to roll his eyes, Spock would have.