It was just after they killed Varania, Fenris stormed out
Hawke wanted to check up on him. She went to his mansion but he wasn't there... It was always like that... Whenever he was upset or angry about something, Fenris always left and disappeared for a few days.
She walked into his dusty old mansion. "He should really clean up here…" she said to herself as she removed a cobweb with her finger. Hawke went up to the room they usually meet in, smelling his sweet, musky scent as she opened the door. Everything seemed so normal. Plenty of wine bottles were scattered all over the room. Some were empty and some were still unopened, but most of them were splattered all over the wall. She stared at the fireplace as the flames danced with such a warm glow while taking a seat in the place he usually sat on … it reminded her of the time she and Fenris spent together.
It was a night to remember.
She remembered how he just rushed in the door, saying that he wanted to talk to her. When he saw her coming down the staircase, he quickly walked up to her in three strides. When they were face to face, he wanted to apologize for the way he took out his anger on her.
"I wanted to talk to you about Hadrianna."
Hawke can feel the guilt as he turned to look away from her." You and I don't always see eye-to-eye. But that doesn't mean you deserve my anger. I…owe you an apology."
She recalled how he shouted at her in front of Varric and Isabella when she had just helped him achieve his goal of finding and killing Hadrianna. This made her inflamed her. "That's it? Just an apology?"
He could feel her anger for what he did "If you wish, I can go. You need not see me again,"
"All I want is to know what happened there."
The elf turned his back on the mage as he recalled his memories. "When I was still a slave, Hadrianna was a torment. She would ridicule me, deny my meals, and hound my sleep. Because of her status, I was powerless to respond…and she KNEW it! The thought of her slipping out of my grasp now, I couldn't let her go. I wanted to, but I couldn't."
"Admit it. You just wanted to kill her." Then she said to herself 'I would too if I was in your place'
He replied with a growl. "And what would you have me do? Hadrianna came after ME! I have never had the option to simply walk away. Am I supposed to forgive, no matter how many times the hunt me down? Am I supposed to forget all the things they've done to me?"
Since she noticed that he was always brooding over it, she absent-mindedly said "You may not wear chains anymore, but you're not free..." after a few seconds she thought 'Uh-oh… I shouldn't have said that.'
Fenris felt a wave of heat rushing over him. How could she say such things so callously when she never even experienced anything remotely similar to what he experienced? She never experienced being tortured and healed over and over again. She never experienced being paraded in front of other people and be called a pet.
"You know nothing about being a slave! It's a sickness, this hate, this dark growth inside me that I can never get rid of, and they put it there!"
He looked again at the mage and sighed. "Ugh...this isn't why I came here…" As he turned around to leave,
What was she to do? She wanted him to stay but she can't just say that to him. He might turn her down and leave anyway. Not knowing what came over her; Hawke reached out and caught his arm.
"So you're just going to leave?"
In a split second, Fenris' lyrium covered body glowed as he shoved Hawke to the wall. Hawke was surprised. She had never seen him this angry before, but as she stared into his emerald eyes through the fringes of his hair, she saw a burning passion that she also felt. Before she knew what was happening, her fingers reached for his silver-white hair. She used his hair to pull him closer to her, in order for their lips to finally meet. How long has she wanted to show him the Desire she felt for him?
She kissed him passionately as she turned him around and slammed him against the wall. She felthis cold rough hands find the small of her back as he pulled her closer toward him.She shivered at his touch as he traced his fingers up her spine while his other hand loosened the knots of her robe.
While sharing a kiss in a heated moment, they suddenly heard a dog barking. It was then when Hawke remembered that Orana, Bodahn, Sandal, and Hawke's Mabari, Alexander, went to the market and were due to arrive any moment.
"Let's go to my room and discuss that apology…" said Hawke while quickly dragging Fenris into her bedroom so that no one can disturb them. She can feel Fenris just smirking at her.
Hawke used her left arm to keep his lips locked with hers as her other hand frantically searched for the silver knob that leads to her bedroom. After kicking the door behind her she shoved him onto her soft bed. She stepped back a bit. She kept her eyes on Fenris, who was staring back at her with his arms folded behind his head. Hawke put a hand over her shoulder, and then slid of her robe, revealing her soft, alabaster skin. A growl came from Fenris as Hawke crawled on top of him.
She placed her hands on top of his chest, feeling his strong muscles through his armor. Slowly, she removed his spiked, metal guard out of their way. Her hands went down until they reached his pants where she rubbed his bulging length, which warranted a moan to escape from the elf's lips. Making the stoic warrior crave for her made her feel empowered as she searched for his belt buckle, which she removed with ease. She then looked in his eyes in a seductive way while slowly removing his pants.
When she saw him biting his lips in anticipation of what she was going to do, she stopped what she was doing. The elf's brows furrowed as he looked at the mage "why did you stop?"
"You haven't apologized yet…" Hawke had a hard time trying to hide a smile.
"I'll give alongapology later, but for now please continue." In his mind, Fenris says to himself 'how could this woman torture me like this? Nevertheless, it is a sweet torment…..'
"Oh you won't apologize now? Well then, you'll have to be punished…" saying this, Hawke gave her attention back to his enormous manhood.
Seeing him already this hard aroused her even more as she kissed the tip of his firm length, teasing him with kisses and licks here and there whilst massaging his twins. She put her fingers around his member and slid her hands up and down in a steady motion while her tongue was swirling on the tip of his shaft.
This is the first time Fenris felt the pleasure he feels now. Hawke was not the first woman he laid in bed with, but she was the only one who can make him feel like that. He tilted his head back as he felt a deep, intimate warmth in his genitals as his face starts to heat up a bit. Euphoric rushes can be felt as hot waves and goose bumps run across his skin. He can feel the strong pulse of his member as Hawke pleasured him as best she can.
Fenris started to think "how come I can never control myself with this woman? A few seconds ago I was mad at her, now ….." he looked down at Hawke, who was staring back him with lust in her eyes. Her red lips still around his firm length. This sight just drove Fenris mad.
"I can't hold back anymore" said Fenris as he pulled her up so he was face to face with her then he flipped her so that he was on top of her.
Hawke's eyes grew bigger as she tried to hide how turned on she was by his behavior "I've never seen you like this, Fenris"
He raised her hands over her head as he gave her a deep kiss
"It is because I have been holding back my desire for you…for quite a long time." Fenris slowly bends down to give a few kisses on her stomach, his mouth gliding across her smooth skin. Hawke involuntarily lifts her back, bringing his lips closer to her skin, making her feel more of the intensity of his breath.
"Now I shall show you how I felt ever since I met you." After saying this, he gently kissed her neck. She trembled with desire as he whispered to her ear "oh...Hawke…"
She touched her moist lips as she remembered that night. The warm fire made her feel even hotter. Her fingers slid down her throat as she imagined Fenris kissing her, breathing down her neck whilst saying her name. She began to fondle her soft breasts as she remembered how he did. She then slowly undid the knots on her trousers as she slid her fingers inside her. Oh! The tingling sensation she felt as she rubbed herself in a steady rhythm while thinking of Fenris. Her breathing began to be erratic as she pleasured herself, remembering all the things he did to her during that night. She had been enjoying herself too much to notice that the elf she had been thinking of had just arrived at the front door.
Fenris was in such a bad mood. All the memories that happened to him when he was a slave came rushing back all at once. He thought of Danarius and how he ordered him to kill the Fog Warriors. He remembered how Hadrianna didn't let him sleep, denied him food. He even thought of how his own sister turned him in to Danarius in order to become a Magister. All of these thoughts swirled around in his head as he headed for his room. He needed a drink, maybe 10... He wasn't sure. All he knew was that he was going to be drunk for the remainder of the week.
As he swung open the door, he saw Hawke on his chair. He was about to call her name but then she muttered something. He listened intently and heard her say "oh… Fenris…" he thought she had already known he was in the room for she had said his name. As he went closer, he saw Hawke's eyes closed as she panted heavily. On closer inspection, he saw her hands in her trousers. He was taken aback, the image of her pleasuring herself while thinking of him sent tinges of pleasure down his spine. It turned him on.
It suddenly reminded him of the night they had spent together. He remembered everything from that night. He could still remember her touch as she traced the lyrium markings on his body with her finger. He can still remember the ecstasy he felt when he was inside of her as she shouts his name in pleasure. He still remembers the feel of her soft breasts as he touched them with his hands and put it in his mouth. He could still remember how he was aroused when she moaned his name… it made him feel like he was the only one for Hawke. No one else. Especially not that abomination Anders…..
He wanted to walk over to her and give her the pleasure he had longed to give her for over 2 years. As he was about to walk to her, he had remembered that things had been awkward between the two of them ever since he left her that night. Suddenly, the memory flashed the look Hawke gave him as he turned to leave. He could see the pain in her face. Pain that HE caused. He then recalled the pain he saw in her face as he turned to leave her. Ashamed of how he treated her and not wanting another uncomfortable moment between them, he turned to leave. "Maybe I'll just go to the Hanged man and wait for her to leave. Yes…That's the plan." He thought as he hurriedly rushed down the stairs.
As he was in a rush to leave the mansion, he accidentally slammed the door. The sound of the door echoed throughout the house very loudly that he was so sure that Hawke now knew he was home. He quickly had to think of a way to make sure that Hawke would not see through his lustful desire for her. Because of his nervousness, he suddenly became somewhat angry at himself for being unreasonable and at Hawke for making him that way. It was his house! He can do whatever he wants. This feeling of confusion and panic suddenly turned into a feeling of irritation towards Hawke.
Hearing the loud bang of the front door, Hawke immediately woke up from her sexual fantasy. "Oh….Fenris must finally be home." She said as she looked at the direction of the door. Then, she suddenly realized that her hand was still in her pants, sweat was running down her forehead, and her cheeks flushed from her libidinous activity just a few moments ago. "Oh maker! I can't let him see me like this." The mage quickly removed her hands from her trousers then quickly tied the knot.
"Festis vayuma canaverum… "The elf growled as he entered the room and saw Hawke stand up.
Hawke looked at him walk past her and sarcastically said "let me guess, you're upset again…."
The elf turned around to face her "it means you will be the death of me. 6 years ago I decided to stay with you in part because I owed you, but I also thought you could help me, and you did. Hadrianna is dead, Danarius is dead. I am FINALLY free. But none of it feels like it should. Freedom tastes like ashes."
"You were already free Fenris. Killing Danarius was just for revenge."
"Ah yes, pattered by you so easily. Ugh… you are not responsible for my misery, why am I angry at you?" said the elf as walked to his chair and sat down. "I thought finding Varania would open up a new world, one that was lost forever, but now that's gone, and now I can't take it back." He looks at her and says" What do I do now Hawke?"
Surprised that he'd ask her for guidance, Hawke replied "we're not exactly friends, Fenris"
"Yet I still respect you. Clearly you must be doing something right. Perhaps you can see what I cannot."
Not sure how to respond, she said "what do you want to do?"
"Clearly making decisions for myself isn't my best quality. Perhaps it is time to leave this hatred behind... Its poison, as I continue to swallow it, there is no one left to blame. What I have done, I have done to myself."
"You don't have to go through this alone" Hawke said as she leaned closer in an attempt to ease him.
With a smile he replied "don't I?" then he turned his head away as he said "we've never discussed what happened between us two years ago."
The mage shrugs her shoulder "you didn't want to talk about it."
"I felt like a fool. I thought it better if you hated me. I deserved no less… but it was not better." The elf stood up as he went closer to Hawke.
"That night, I remember your touch as If it was yesterday. I should've asked your forgiveness long ago. I hope you can forgive me now." He said as he stared into Hawke's blue eyes.
"I need to understand why you left Fenris…" said Hawke, half because she was curious, half because she didn't want him to see her face flush.
"I've thought about the answer a thousand times." Said the elf as he pondered "The pain, the memories it brought up… it was too much. I was a coward." Embarrassed at what he was about to say, he turned away while saying "If I could go back I would stay, tell you what I felt.
"what would you have said?"
Turning to stare into her eyes "nothing could be worse than the thought of living without you…"
Seeing the honesty and remorse in his eyes, she said "I understand, I always understood."
Encouraged by her answer, he move closer to Hawk, He leaned over her as he said "if there is a future to be had, I will walk into it gladly by your side."
Not knowing what came over her; she immediately stood up and kissed him with great intensity. She ran her hands all over his frosted hair, pulling his lips closer to hers so that she may kiss him deeper. Fenris did the same; his hands at her back drawing her as close as possible to him, afraid that she would change her mind and leave him. They started to breathe erratically as they pushed each other towards the velvet sofa. They landed with a thud on the soft cushion.
With Fenris on top of Hawke, he saw the uneasiness in her face as she turned to look away. He knew she must be thinking about the first time they had done this. How he left her after they had made love, making her feel used and cheap. He gently placed his hand on her chin/cheek and made him face her.
"Know that from now on, I will remain forever at your side. I am yours" saying this, he leaned in closer to give her a steamy kiss…
He then removed her armor and threw them at the carpet. He stopped for a bit and appreciated her beautiful body. He leaned in and kissed her neck. This made the mage smile and out her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her.
"Oh Fenris…."
They spent the night in each other's arms as the night faded away, promising each other to stay by each other's side no matter what….
In the Hanged Man
Isabella was drinking and sharing a few laughs with Varric when she noticed Hawke from the corner of her eye. She waved and said "in here, Hawke!"
As Hawke walked towards the group Isabella commented "Wait…. Something's different with you." Varric chimed in after examining Hawke from head to toe "Yeah... you have a certain glow around you"
"What? There's nothing different about me. What are you talking about? " Hawke said with a laugh "Are you both drunk again?"
Reluctantly, Aveline said "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Isabella. There is something unusual with you."
The Rivaini's eyes widened as she said "You had sex!" her voice was so loud that it drowned out the noises of drunken people arguing, making them stop what they were doing and turn to stare at her.
"Isabella!" Hawke exclaimed as she tried to cover the Rogue's mouth "Don't shout it to world!"
"Ahh… so I was right. Of course I'm right!" she haughtily added "I can never be wrong about such things!"
"That's because you jump into bed with any living creature." Aveline said as she drank from a mug.
"You know Aveline, I saw Donnic down by the Rose today. I think he might be unsatisfied…. Would you like me to teach you how to please him? Or maybe he prefers a mannish, awkward, ball crushing, do-gooder like you."
Aveline threw darts with her eyes as she said "Shut up, Whore"
Isabella turned her gaze back to Hawke "Go on. Tell Auntie Isabella the details. Did he curl your toes? Arl your Eamon? Shank your jewelry? Grope your grinder? Dampen your divine? Grey your Warden?..."
"Oh dear. She's not going to stop, is she?" Merrill commented, to which Varric replied "Probably not, Daisy."
"….Or did he cup your joining? Or master your taint? Did he praise your Maker? Did he fulfill a task of your Qun? Did he beard your dwarf?"
It was at that moment when Fenris just arrived and started to walk towards them. Isabella struck a conversation with him "Did you know Hawke slept with someone? Do you know who?"
Fenris replied "What she does is none of your business."
As he sat down across Hawke, he glanced at her in a certain way. Isabella immediately noticed and yelled "YOU slept with Hawke!"
Again, this resulted in an awkward silence in the tavern as everyone stared at Isabella. Varric gave a hearty laugh, Merrill giggled, Anders just ignored them and kept playing with his cat, while Aveline rubbed her temples in an attempt to avoid a migraine.
"Isabella!" Hawke shouted as Fenris just groaned.
"So…..Fenris? Aren't you going to tell us about your Adventure with the Champion of Kirkwall? Did you glisten,just for her?"
"Remember when we talked about how I stick my fists into people? Would you like me to demonstrate with you?" Fenris warned the pirate as he drank a mug of ale.
"pshhh…. Spoilsport…"
She nudged Hawke and said "Oh, come on. Don't give me that look." Then she stared at Hawke with child-like eyes and her hands under her chin "Now go on, tell me EVERY detail!"