Stolen
Written by: TrekkieGirl12
Summary: Spending time at the beach with some of his crew, Jim contemplates how his First Officer had stolen his heart. Somewhat angsty.
A/N: I kinda made this, as my way of showing how nuTrek is taking Star Trek in the direction that Roddenberry did not have it. Some may say that Spock and Kirk were close like brothers; certainly. But I would like to believe it was much more than that; that they truly loved one another. This is my little attempt at showing how having Spock with Uhura has taken from Kirk what was rightfully his.
A/N: I was inspired to write this upon visiting Lanaea's "Home", and seeing the SEE Trek Love movement, in which they are trying to keep that romantic element between Spock and Kirk in the movies. Consider this my little way of saying, "Keep Kirk/Spock Alive, Hollywood!" ;)
Disclaimer: Star Trek does not belong to me. Lyrics belong to the song "Stolen" by Dashboard Confessional.
-
We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
Another sun soaked season fades away…
-
The warm sand slid between his toes, and he looked down at his feet, wiggling the small appendages almost as if he were conducting an experiment. The corner of his mouth twitched upwards momentarily, before he became aware of it, and straightened it out.
Taking a deep, cleansing breath, the young Captain tilted his head upwards, welcoming the heat from the Californian sun to caress his face. A breeze flew through the beach front, gently blowing the golden strands of his hair wildly about his head. His murky blue eyes scanned out over the great body of water, out to the horizon, his long gold lashes casting faint shadows over the hollows of his cheekbones.
Like small, inky black dots, he could just make out the multitude of seagulls swooping and diving out over the ocean, far off into the horizon. Distantly, he mused that only a few days ago, he had been doing the same as the seagulls were doing now: flying. But then they were scheduled for routine ship maintenance, and so now they were grounded to Earth for awhile.
James T. Kirk was abruptly pulled out of his silent thoughts by the loud laughter coming from behind him. Curious, he turned his upper body, to look out over his shoulder for the source of the noise. Further inland on the beach's shore, his eyes found it. Some of his crew had decided to join him to a trip to the beach when he'd offered, and it seemed that now they were taking advantage of it, rather than staring silently out over the water, as he had been currently doing.
A large beach umbrella had been firmly stamped into the sand, casting adequate shade for the four people under it; Sulu, Chekov, the nurse, Christine Chapel was her name, and Bones. While Sulu and Chekov looked like they were enjoying themselves, heaving clumps of sand at each other, Christina looked slightly put out as she was leaning forward, obviously eager to tell Bones something. However, Bones was sitting with his hands firmly crossed over his chest, his signature scowl marring his otherwise handsome face.
Jim resisted a smile.
And then his eyes flickered ever so briefly, as another scene unfolded before him. Trotting down the sandy shore, towards the four under the umbrella. Uhura, wearing a two piece bikini, showing off her beautiful brown skin, a smile on her face. She waved heartily at the group, and Christine's face melted into one of relief as she got to her feet, and went to embrace the African woman in a hug.
But that wasn't what had captured Jim's eyes, as though his eyes were metal being drawn to a magnet.
Trailing behind Uhura with calm, gracefully measured steps was his half-Vulcan First Officer, Spock.
-
You have stolen my heart
-
Just the mere sight of him made Jim's chest tighten, and he had to close his eyes against the vision before him, to restore some resemblance of balance to his now scattered thoughts.
Give it up, Jimmy…Jim thought to himself. He reopened his eyes, to get another glimpse of his First Officer, not forgetting how his body was affected whenever the half-Vulcan was anywhere near him. Jim had to admit he was a masochist; even though his body ached and begged to have some kind of physical reassurance with the aloof Vulcan, he denied it, but always indulged in being in Spock's presence.
It was like Jim was an alcoholic, and Spock was the rarest of fine wines, being dangled in his face every so often.
And like a sick bastard, Jim didn't try to fight it.
-
Invitation only, grand farewells
Crash the best one, of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight
-
Jim watched as Spock came to stand right behind Uhura, his hands folded behind his back. While everyone else wore beach attire, Spock was of course wearing all black; black turtle-neck, long black pants that had the bottoms encased in knee length black boots. All of the black made his pale skin stand out even more.
He looked almost ethereal.
A sharp pain raced through Jim's chest as he witnessed Uhura turning to reach her arm out and wrap it around Spock's waist, drawing him closer to her. Even from his distant spot, Jim's eyes caught the slight tensing of Spock's body.
But Spock didn't fight Uhura; he just stepped closer to her.
Jim let out a heavy breath, already feeling the heaviness starting to weigh him down. He knew he was in far too deep; that he was practically drowning in his affections for the Vulcan.
But despite the fact that he was in over his head, he couldn't help but take pleasure in it; a twisted, dark pleasure that was sated whenever he had to witness Uhura and Spock's affections.
Uhura was taking a seat next to Christine, and Jim watched as Spock asked Bones something. Bones scowled again, and then pointed in his direction. Jim saw Spock lift his head and look over at him.
And then he was just staring. He made no move to come over; he just stood there, motionless. His hair ruffled from the now constant breeze.
Jim turned back around to look out at the ocean again.
The ocean was huge; never ending, with so much life in it, that even today with all of the technology at their disposal; humans had yet to discover all of the vast organisms in its depths.
That was what Jim felt. That all of the complexities of Spock was like the ocean; it looked so calm on the surface, but once you got underneath it, you could only be amazed by the depth and beauty of it.
Jim had first been tantalized by Spock's nature on the bridge during the Nero event, which seemed so long ago now. When Spock had lashed out at him, forced him against the console with his strong hands around his neck.
Of course, Jim did not want Spock choking him again any time soon, preferably not at all, but what had first gotten him intrigued was the power. When he'd been bent over that console, staring up into the blackness of Spock's eyes, he could see, like smoky swirls, the power.
And Jim couldn't honestly tell what the power was of; maybe his strength as he had held him down, or the rage that he was exposing to the entire stunned crew, or of the hurt that seemed to hang on his features, making his exotically beautiful face seem aged.
Then it had all been over, and Jim was left on the floor, coughing as he tried to pull air into his depleted lungs.
When Spock had stormed out of the bridge after resigning from command, Jim knew he was forever hooked.
If Spock had that much power in his hate and anguish, how much power would he have in his love and devotion?
At the mere thought, Jim felt his mouth go dry.
-
You have stolen my heart
-
It wasn't fair that Uhura got to experience the love and devotion aspect. Sure, he could tell she loved Spock dearly; you'd have to be blind not to. And yes, Spock obviously cared for her, if he allowed her to make such affections toward him publicly. But it didn't change the facts; it wasn't fair.
He'd seen them first hand; the memories. Strong, heart-tugging memories that had left him breathless and desperate for more, no matter how they would later haunt his dreams with what ifs, and what could have beens.
He'd been to the new Vulcan colony on orders from Starfleet, and had been to see Spock the Elder. He'd noticed the look in Spock Elder's eyes, and had demanded to know. That was, surprisingly, all it took.
And then his mind had been filled with memories of a different him, a different Spock. So much love between them. So much friendship, trust. He had nearly been driven to tears when the memories faded into nothingness, after drawing away from the meld.
He had been kneeled over on Spock the Elder's room floor, tears building in his eyes, anguish squeezing his heart, the memories dancing in his mind. And through it all, a faint word flittered through his mind, little more than a faint whisper.
T'hy'la.
Jim blinked rapidly when he felt the moisture starting to build up in his eyes. He cleared his throat, and continued to stare out at the ocean, his white button down shirt fluttering wildly.
A soft sigh escaped him, and he felt the tight bands constricting his chest slightly unwind.
-
And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well
-
He didn't have to have heightened senses to know that he wasn't alone any longer. He continued to stare straight ahead of him, as Spock calmly stepped up next to him.
All was silent for awhile, and Jim felt the constricting bands tightening around him again. He was finding it hard to breathe normally. His eyes watered as he forced them straight ahead, not allowing them to turn and look at his First Officer, as he wanted them to do so badly.
So close. Damn, he was so close.
And yet Jim knew he was impossibly far; no matter what he did, know matter what he knew, Spock would never be within his reach.
He'd never be his.
Because life wasn't fair, and that was really all it was about, wasn't it?
It didn't matter that in another life, they'd been t'hy'la, that they'd fought for one another, risked their lives for one another.
All of that was irrevocably broken with the time change. What had once been his no longer was.
He'd have to settle for what he did have, even if it wasn't much.
-
I watch you spin around in your highest heels
You are the best one, of the best ones
We all look like we feel
-
Finally, finally, Jim could not stand it any longer, and turned to face Spock. Only to find him looking at him. Deeply. So deep, it hurt.
Jim's throat ached as he swallowed hard, rooted to the spot. Nothing could escape that look; Jim felt as if he was being stripped bare before the Vulcan, leaving him open, and vulnerable. No defenses, no pretenses.
God, he was in far too deep.
Those amber eyes, which conveyed so much from a man who spoke so little.
He'd been able to read him, once. In another life.
He didn't know what to say, both of them standing there, staring. Say something, anything.
"Walk with me?" Jim blurted out, before his mind could catch up to the words. He flinched, and turned to look out at the ocean again, his cheeks flushing. The ocean was the only safe place to rest his eyes, without giving too much away.
"Of course," Spock replied evenly, and without anymore words between the two, they set off along the coastline, their bodies mere inches apart.
Jim knew they were supposed to be; him and Spock. Always. But that was another life, and life wasn't fair.
Other people jogged or played past them, absorbed in their own lives.
He continued to walk, Spock next to him, a constant reminder of what he could never have.
And though it pained him to realize his lost opportunities, he was still grateful that he had Spock at all.
-
You have stolen my heart
-
It was true. Spock had stolen his heart, and he doubted he would ever get it back. But that was okay; because that was the stark reality of life, was it not?
And if there was one thing Jim knew, it was that life was hardly ever fair.
A/N: Told you it would be angsty. I wrote this one-shot while listening to "Stolen" by Dashboard Confessional. For all of those who expected a happy ending…sorry.
NOTE: This was just a piece, my way of telling everyone that Hollywood should keep the relationship between Spock and Kirk as Roddenberry had it; to keep that underlying romance between them. We shouldn't let them take that away and rob either Spock's or Kirk's characters of the love that TOS had built between them.
If anyone has read Lanaea's wonderful "Home", or visited her profile, you can find a link to SEE, a project of fans who are trying to keep Spock/Kirk true in the nuTrek films. I am trying to do what I can, and that was why this story was written.