A Bridge Over Troubled Water – Part 2
This is written as a follow on from "A Bridge Over Troubled Water", which was my Candyland Challenge story. It may help to read that first.
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Hotch hovered over the phone. He had always considered himself a decisive man. Yet he currently felt like a teenager arranging his first prom date. His palms were so sweaty, he was sure he was incapable of holding the phone. Hotch was rapidly getting cross with himself. They were two fully grown adults. It was an offer of friendship in a time of need, nothing more. Who was he trying to kid?
Barely a month ago JJ, had revealed to him that she had split from Will. Hotch had been concerned for his former colleague. He knew, first hand, how hard it was to raise a child and maintain a demanding professional career. Haley had been ripped away from him. It was something he thought he would never get over. Yet the very night that JJ shared her news, feelings awoke in him. He never believed he would share his life with another. He'd come close to trying to move on, before Haley's death. But since she died, he felt it would be disrespectful to her memory. However, here he was, debating, with himself, whether to call JJ and ask her and Henry to Christmas lunch.
Hotch hadn't spoken to JJ since Halloween. They had left a series of brief messages for each other, as they successfully managed to miss each other, time and time again.
Jack was in bed, so Hotch assumed Henry would be too. It was rare for Hotch to be home mid-week. Usually a case had taken him off to a random hotel room, by now. Fate had put him in the right place, at the right time. Now he just needed to make the call.
Taking a large swig of pure malt whiskey, to calm his frayed nerves, he lifted the receiver and dialled JJ's number. Swallowing the pleasantly burning liquor, he waited for a reply. With each ring, he silently rehearsed his words.
"Hi, sorry we're not in. Please leave your message after the beep."
"Damn," Hotch cursed as he listened to the now familiar recording. "Hi, it's Aaron. I . . . We . . . Jack and I wondered if you'd like to . . . Please give me a call as soon as you get this. I'd like to talk to you, not a machine. Thanks." Hotch let out a huge sigh and leaned back on the soft leather couch. He closed his eyes, letting his mind wander.
His pleasant day dream was rudely interrupted, by the phone ringing. Jumping slightly at the sound, Hotch grabbed the phone. "Aaron Hotchner," he paused.
"Hi, it's JJ."
She hadn't needed to clarify her identity; Hotch had recognised her voice immediately.
"I'm glad you called. Jack has been pestering me to ask you and Henry over. Thought you might like to get together over the weekend. We could take the kids out during the day, and then get some dinner."
"That sounds great," JJ smiled.
Hotch held his breath, plucking up the courage to ask her to Christmas lunch. "Also I thought you might like to join us for lunch on Christmas day. That is if you haven't already made plans."
JJ chuckled slightly; she swore she could hear a hint of nervousness in her stoic ex-boss' voice. Since she had talked to Hotch, after her Halloween party, she had seen him in a different light. She was surprised by how she had felt that night. When Jack and he had finally left the next day, she had been more confused than ever. In the month that had passed, she had deliberately missed some of his calls. JJ needed time to clear her head. She had to be certain what she wanted.
"Um, maybe; to be honest I haven't really thought about Christmas day, much. I've been a little busy. I know Will is going home. So we have agreed Henry will have Christmas with me and New Year with his Dad." JJ's voice trailed off.
"Well the offer is there. You don't have to let me know yet. I know Christmas on your own is not fun. It makes you think about things, things you don't want to think about. Beside Jack would like someone else to play with, other than me."
"Let's talk about it tomorrow."
"We'll pick you up about ten, if that's ok?"
"Good with me," JJ was torn between ending the conversation and spending all night talking. She opted for an early night and said her goodbyes.
Placing the phone back, JJ grabbed the beer she had opened and stared out of her apartment window. The darkness seemed to swallow her up. She drifted away, deep in thought. Seeing Hotch again meant she had to make a decision, and stick with. She had accepted Will was not returning. To be fair to him, after Halloween, they had sat down and talked; separating three month prior to that, feeling weren't quite so raw. But in the cold light of day she questioned her love for Will. The heartbreaking part was seeing the sadness in his eyes, as she told him. It was at that very moment she had no doubt that Will had loved her. This had made her feel terrible. How could she hurt someone so badly? Hurting Will tore her apart more than the loneliness. She had been determined then, that she would avoid Hotch. He was a complication she didn't need; salt in the wound between Will and her.
Now five weeks later she had agreed to meet up with Hotch. As she had rung him back, her stomach had tied it's self in tighter and tighter knots. Closing her eyes and sipping slowly on her beer, she remembered the kiss; so soft and gentle, yet full of passion. She had wanted him to kiss her, she'd kissed him. Standing now she wanted to kiss him again. She wanted to feel his arms around her, his body close. But life wasn't about what she wanted. She couldn't just think of herself. Henry was confused. He wanted his Mommy and Daddy. How do you explain to a three year old that Mommy no longer loves Daddy, but she does love another man? Also Will; she couldn't hurt him any further. She'd done enough damage.
Draining the final dregs of the beer, the bitter taste lingered in her mouth. She had made her decision, now she had to share that decision with Aaron Hotchner.