In English we had to write a short story and this came up in my mind.
"My eyes died back that day, seeing the hurt I may have done."
Emily was everything you wouldn't expect. You may think she's ordinary, but don't get fooled by the face she wear. Because she wears a thousand different masks and none of them is her real one. You may think it's easy to smile but she plays pretend with you, with an illusion of confidence outside and a trembling child within Emily tricks you so you can't see her own built prison walls.
Beneath the mask dwells the real her in confusion, in fear and in weakness. And her insecurity within is afraid that deep-down she's nothing. She's afraid that no one can love someone whose so damage she can't separate right from wrong. If you knew she hurts herself on the outside to kill the things on the inside, you might think less of her. You might think she's no good and you would reject her because of that.
Emily knows the eyes are the window to a person's soul, but when she stares at her own in the mirror they just look dead and she can't help but wonder what that says about her. "Tears dry up, wounds heal up. But scars, they never fade." The bitter truth, even if the wounds heal you'll always see the scars they left behind. And the scars will always remind us were we've been and what fights we've lost.
Afraid of what her thoughts might make her do Emily put her headphones in starting her favorite song.
"Feet don't fail me now. Take me to the finish line. Oh, my heart it breaks every step that I take."
"I'm not weak, I can't cry" Emily thought when Lana Del Ray's voice filled her mind.
"Choose your last word. This is the last time. Cause you and I, we were born to die."
If only you knew how things can feel, then you could've saved her for what's out there. No one told Emily that growing up would be such a challenge and there would come a time when you don't know what to do anymore.
"It's okay now; I've giving up on myself to. Until you're broken you don't know what you're made of. But now I know I'm just a sad soul who needs to bleed just to know I'm alive" Emily thought creating another scar.
All she saw was red mixed with grey. It was painful, but as the blood seeped through the cut, it felt good. Before she knew it she dragged the blade deeper and watched as her bodily fluids exited her veins. Her vision became dark, her body went cold and the pain dragged its claws through her body, reaping each and every part of her soul.
"It's a shame how quick we lose ourselves. It's my fault and I know it" she thought before passing out.
An hour later Emily was found surrounded by her blood with a note in her hand;
"I'm afraid to sleep.
So I have to go tonight.
I'm scared there's no stability.
So I have a single ticket to paradise.
I'm afraid of my own fragility.
So I have a final destination.
You can see me in the sky.
When I fly by.
To the last terminus."
The girl who never stopped trying, finally gave up.
R&R!