He wasn't counting the days that passed. Nor the hours. It was pointless, counting, because every hour felt like a decade anyway, so as far as he was concerned, the clocks were all wrong. The only use for the damned things was the sound. The ticking of the clocks was the only noise coming from his flat except his own breathing — and he didn't want to listen to that. Noises from the outside didn't quite register, like they weren't close enough, despite being only a few meters away.
Perhaps that was why the knocking had to be so insistent. Although, Ianto thought wryly, it could also just be Captain Jack Harkness' way of doing things.
Ianto considered leaving him standing there, but realized that his boss had a key — ostensibly for emergencies, but Jack was a bastard at the best of times. The next thought process involved yanking the damn door open and demanding of Jack what in the hell he wanted — but that one, as satisfying as it sounded in Ianto's head, probably wouldn't faze the Captain nearly enough to make the energy worth it. Ianto hadn't slept in however long it had been since he stopped counting; in fact he couldn't recall doing much of anything since he'd come back to his flat.
He hadn't seen the point of doing much. Anyway, he knew what Jack was here for. He'd changed his mind, inevitably. Ianto glared around his haphazard flat. Finally the cleaning up would be someone else's damn job.
No use in delaying it, and that infernal knocking wasn't going to stop. With a sigh, he levered himself upright and stumbled toward the door.
Jack's hair was dripping, pushed back off his forehead. Ianto should have expected that: all he'd been doing was listening to the rain and the clocks.
"What do you want?" Ianto asked quietly, stepping aside to let Jack inside. His voice sounded hoarse even to his own ears.
Jack held up a plastic take-away bag. A frown etched itself into Ianto's forehead, and he simply looked at his boss for a moment.
Jack shot him a look. "You gonna stand there all night?"
Ianto looked at him oddly. "Just seems a bit of a strange thing to do for someone before you kill them," he said cynically. "Unless this is supposed to be the last meal, in which case it's not what I'd have chosen…"
"I wasn't planning on killing you, actually," Jack denied calmly. "I kind of doubted that you'd bothered to eat anything yet, that's all."
That's all? Ianto stared at Jack as he moved around the flat as if he'd been there a million times. "What are you doing here?" he demanded flatly. "If you haven't changed your mind about killing me, I don't understand why you're here. Because this isn't about… takeaway, and me, and… what happened. We've covered that." He was proud that his voice remained steady. He had that, at least, even after everything else had fallen out from under him.
Jack thumped a plate of food down in front of the empty chair at his kitchen bar. Just the movement constituted an order. In his own home, with the anger and unsaid words so close to the surface, Ianto considered ignoring him; but he was so tired, and it wasn't worth it if Jack might possibly give him a few truthful answers tonight. Unless, of course, this was as surreal as it felt, and Ianto was going to wake up very confused. A pang went through him as his mind wandered a little further, wondering if he could wake up and find that it had all been a nightmare, that Lisa would be alive and there was still a chance to save her, and no-one would be hurt…
A glass of water appeared under his nose. Ianto blinked, realizing that he'd sat down without even thinking. Unconsciously obeying Jack's unspoken orders. He scowled.
"Believe it or not, this is about you," Jack said. "I don't normally say this, but you were right. I don't know anything about you. I should not have missed something like this; I wish you had felt that you could trust me enough to tell me about her, to let me help you."
Ianto poked at the food in front of him. "Alright. But that doesn't account for why you're here. Unless you want to make extra sure the retcon takes."
Jack sighed. "No, I don't want to need the retcon. That's the point. I'm just here to talk to you, Ianto. I want to fix this," he admitted.
Ianto wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or cry, and knew if he started either he'd end up a hysterical mess. So he simply looked away from Jack, and ate his food without tasting it, and didn't say a word.
AN: this is the first of a few ideas I had about conversations the show skipped over during Ianto's suspension. Feel free to let me know what you think of it, while I'm still wondering if the others are worth posting. The title comes from Dido's song 'See the Sun' - I listened to it and couldn't shake the feeling that it fit so well, and I like it better than the original title. I highly recommend the song to anyone who's interested.