The music played loudly in Emma's tiny yellow bug as she made her drive to Storybrooke for Ruby and Victor's wedding. She needed the music to drown out the memory playing on repeat in her head. There was something about returning to the town where they had met that was forcing this particular memory through the wall she created for it. She preferred to keep it locked up in the back of her mind and heart. Leaving it buried deep down where it could not be accessed, though it did have a way of resurfacing on drunken nights and in lonely moments when she least expected it. A smile would paint itself on her face and light up her green eyes: remembering how he smelled, the way he kissed her with such force that he pressed her into his twin mattress, the nervous thumping of both of their hearts. How she wanted to live in that moment forever.
"Stop it Emma! You were 17. He probably doesn't even remember that day. He probably is with someone. It's just Killian. Just stop" She tells herself over the music in an attempt to escape the joy of the memory.
The sky had begun to turn pink by the time she pulled up in front of Granny's. Taking a deep breath she opened her door and walked onto the leaf covered sidewalk. Emma couldn't help but laugh at how nothing had changed. There was Dr. Hopper walking Pongo right before he would make his way to Granny's for dinner. Marco was fidgeting with the hardware sign. She even speculated that if she looked at Mr. Gold's shop she would catch him creepishly peering out his window wondering who owed him money. Like a scene in an over played rom-com, the wind picked up just as she caught what appeared to be a very attractive man almost knocking over Marco's ladder. His hands were tucked into the pockets of his leather jacket and continued to walk in a rushed pace. Emma strained her eyes to see if she could recognize the face. Dark hair. It couldn't be August as he was half way around the world. Tall enough to be Graham but the hair color was wrong. The stranger must have felt Emma's piercing stare as he quickly turned his head to look at her. The sea blue eyes Emma had stared into a million times as a teenager were once again staring at her. Killian. Continuing his pace he shot her a sly smile and, unable to control her reaction, she smiled back at him. How could she not? Killian was as handsome as the last day she had seen him, right before she had closed the bug door on him.
"Took you long enough to get here" Granny sassed off, hugging Emma as she walked in the door.
"Hi Granny." Emma kicked the door closed with her foot. Nothing had changed. She was even certain the dust was still in the same place.
"I see Boston is looking good on you" She tugged at the end of Emma's red leather jacket. Granny had been one of the few people that Emma had said good-bye to as she made her way out of town one late summer morning over ten years ago.
"Can't complain. So where is the bride?" She quickly changed the subject with a slight crack in her voice.
"Getting ready for tonight. I hear you are all heading to the Jolly Roger." Granny gave Emma a knowing wink.
"The Jolly Roger?" Emma was confused. That was not the bar Ruby had told her about. Plus she didn't remember there being a bar named the Jolly Roger. "I thought we were going to The Rabbit Hole."
"Nope. The Jolly Roger. It's Killian's bar." This time the wink was matched with a Granny approved grin.
It suddenly all made sense to Emma. Without saying another word she dropped her bags on the floor and began the run up the stairs while screaming for Ruby. Just as Emma hit the top of the landing Ruby walked out of her room , hands out ready to defend herself, and bright red lips ready to plead her case to the very angry blonde. Emma stood in front of her, arms crossed, her face red from anger and from her dash up the old stairs. Ruby couldn't blame Emma for being upset with her. She had purposely lied about the location of tonight's drinking. She had to. If she had told Emma she would have to spend a night of drunkenness in the presence of the only guy that she had ever cared for, she would have not agreed to come to Storybrooke a couple of days before the wedding.
Without saying a word Ruby walked back into her room and Emma followed. The room was littered with the women of Storybrooke all dressed to the nines, ready for a night of laughs and bad decisions. It was just like old times. When the five of them would get ready for a school dance or just a girls night of movies, junk food and talking of boys. Sitting on the bed Emma spotted Regina and Belle laughing as they appeared to be sipping on god knows what Ruby concocted with the liquor sitting on the bedside table. Mary Margaret was by the window on the phone, no doubt talking to David.
"Don't be mad at Ruby, she had good reasons not to tell you about going to Killian's bar." Belle's voice was sweet and calming.
"Yeah."
"Here take a sip of this."
Emma blindly grabbed the cup and smelt the contents first. It didn't smell too strong, so Emma swallowed the contents of the cup in one gulp. The potency of the drink hit her as it slid down her throat. Letting out a breath, Emma was sure could have ignited fire.
"Holy crap! What was in that drink?"
Belle laughed. "I have no idea. Want another?"
Emma nodded yes and with that, the anger was gone and the night of fun began.
With much convincing from Ruby, and a few of those fire breathing dragon drinks Belle made, Emma slipped into the tightest red dress that Ruby could find in her closest. She'd really had no intention of wearing any dress other than her bridesmaid dress that entire weekend, which is why she hadn't brought one of her own. Jeans, a t-shirt and her leather jacket were her first choice of attire, but that was quickly vetoed by the women. Even Mary Margaret scoffed at Emma's original choice and she was dressed the most conservatively of them all.
Ruby always had a flare for dramatics. Like an evil queen ruining a fairy tale wedding, she burst through the doors of the Jolly Roger, demanding a round of shots. By the time Emma walked through the door, Killian was pouring the shots into glasses. Attempting not to be caught, he glanced up for a moment to catch Emma walk by. He must have been mesmerized by her sultry appearance, because she caught the faintest hint of Killian's voice utter the words 'bloody hell' and Leroy telling him he was wasting good rum by spilling it over the bar. Emma turned her head to the side, hiding the smile the screamed satisfaction at having made Killian so nervous.
The ladies settled on a table in the corner of the bar. A quiet spot where they could spill their dirty little secrets and have no one hear them. Emma turned her head quickly to see if Killian was still cleaning up his mess. Her mind slowly wandered to the moment she once made him so nervous that he had to write that he liked her in the back of his school planner instead of telling her. It took everything in her to pretend not to notice, but she couldn't help but look him in the eyes and ask what he was writing, forcing him to divulge a secret he had been carrying with him since the moment he laid on her. Seeing the words written with a shaky hand made her smile and respond with nothing but a kiss on the cheek, before leaving him sitting on the bench contemplating what that delicate kiss meant.
"Emma! EMMA!" Ruby called out to her, breaking her out one of her favorite memories. "I see where your mind is. You know he isn't seeing anyone. "
"I don't think he has dated anyone in a really long time. There was Milah but that went up in flames fairly quick." Mary Margaret chimed in.
"You know, I think Robin told me the other day that he is just waiting for the right girl to come his way." Now Regina was joining in the game of persuasion.
"Or return." Belled softly added.
"Ok I get it. You all think I should talk to him, but what he and I had was... was... I don't know what it was but we were 17. Things have changed. It's not like we can just pick up where we left off." There were hints of frustration in Emma's voice. She was fighting back the hope and dream that yes they could pick up where they left off.
"You don't know that unless you try. It's just a chance you have to take. What are you going to do avoid him all weekend and at the wedding?" Leave it to Mary Margret to lead the charge in Emma talking to Killian. "Emma?"
Emma shifted in her chair. That was her plan. It would be easy to avoid him, and just make her rounds around the room and catch up with everyone. If he would come up to her she would smile politely and excuse herself. Maybe use Jefferson as her escape route. He was always sweet enough to help her out of binds that she would get herself in.
"You know he is one of Victor's groomsmen, right?" Another minor detail Ruby purposely left out.
"FUCK!" Emma let out only loud enough for those around her could hear.
"Maybe later Swan." Killian winked at her as her started to pass around the shots. Emma bit her tongue, trying not to respond with 'why wait'. There was no denying that the desire to banter was still there.
"I thought I would leave the bottle with you as this is a celebration. Everything is on the house tonight. Think of it as an early wedding gift to you Ruby. Enjoy your night." The ladies raised their shot glasses to him. His tone changed from flirty to genuinely happy. "I'm happy to see you Emma."
Killian's words added an extra sting to the harsh alcohol making its way down her throat. Of everything he could say to her, why did he need to tell her he was happy she was home? Emma grabbed another shot and threw it back. It was going to be a long night.
Two tequila bottles, at least three maybe five rounds of drinks and a million details on her life in Boston later, Emma was feeling the alcohol rushing through her veins. It had slowly replaced the blood that coursed through her body that made her human. She was now an ethereal creature that could walk on air and speak with such eloquence that it seduced a person just by saying a few words… or so Emma thought. With the grace of a lost swan, Emma got up from the table and walked towards the bar. Sweaty palms dried on the front of her dress as she smoothed it out. Emma slid her fingers into her hair and ruffled it a bit, wanting to appear as the sex goddess her mind's eye projected.
"Hey" She leaned over the bar displaying her natural god given gifts.
"Aye Swan." Killed matched her lean. If he moved a millimeter closer his nose would be touching hers.
"Are you really happy I'm home?" Her eyes traveled to his lips.
"Aye." The left corner of his mouth curled up.
"Does that mean you missed me?" Emma licked her lips.
"Aye." She watched intently as the single syllable slipped past his lips.
"Can you say more than Aye?" A sly tempting smile crept onto his face. Emma knew exactly what it meant. It was a dare for her to find out. "Really, you are playing this game? Well Jones, you may remember I am very, very, good at our game so..."
"And Emma you are officially drunk. Come on lets go to the ladies room before you say something you will regret." Ruby grabbed Emma by the arm and dragged her into the bathroom.
Ruby locked the door behind them. She didn't want the rest of the group coming into the bathroom chiming in with their opinions. There was nothing wrong with them encouraging Emma, but Ruby was the only one who knew what happened the day before she left. How that afternoon Emma walked into Killian's house, fully knowing that their relationship would be forever changed, afraid to fall in love with him more she already was, or worse that he would find out. Unable to let her wall come down, she'd made some excuse to leave, just to find Ruby and vent out everything she was feeling and swearing her to secrecy.
"I am all for you hooking up with Killian, but I think you should wait until we are all gone." Ruby sat herself on the sink.
"There will be no hooking up with Killian Jones. I ruined that years ago." There was a sadness to Emma's words and face.
"Yeah… ok." Ruby's words dripped with sarcasm.
"I'm not saying I don't want it to happen. If it happens then great. You of all people know I still care for him. I just..." Ruby cut her off before she could say anything else.
"Then, oh my god I'm becoming Mary Margaret, you need to stay behind and talk to him. There is still hope for something more than that weird 'we don't have feelings for each other' friendship you guys had. He really hasn't had feelings for any other girl since you've been gone, not like he did for you. Victor told me he thinks about you a lot, and not in the lonely nights sense. Now let's go back out there, finish getting drunk and then you can decide what you want to do about Killian. Ok?" Ruby jumped off the sink and unlocked the door.
Emma nodded. "So are you borrowing Mary Margaret's clothes too?"
Laughing uncontrollably with Ruby, Emma stumbled out of the ladies room and to the familiar arms of Killian. They wrapped themselves around her body like a familiar old sweater. Lost in the moment neither noticed that Ruby had slipped away and returned back to the table. Neither of them said a word. The silence was deafening. Every memory nerve in her body pushing her further into his. Guiding her lips to his. As she closed her eyes in anticipation of a kiss, past images of every one of their kisses played on fast forward behind her eyes. Even that last one, that was sprinkled with guilt, remorse and salt from her tears. The last memory she saw was her slamming the door of the bug and driving away.
Before she could allow her body to take over, she opened her eyes. She was better off keeping her eyes closed though, because in that very moment all she saw was the blue in his eyes and the happiness that was written all over them. He had the same look in them every time he held her, sat next to her, and even the day they were in his bed moments from letting it all go.
"You couldn't handle it." Emma pushed herself out his embrace.
"Maybe you couldn't handle it." Killian's fingertips were still holding onto hers.
"I guess we may have to find out." She turned to walk back to the table.
"Promise?" He whispered in her ear. His voice still had the power to send ten thousands shivers down her spine. With a deep breath, Emma composed herself and walked away the best she could.
It was finally the hour of truth, 3 am. Drunk and full of laughter the ladies made their way to the door. Emma took her time. A battle taking place in her mind between staying to talk to him for real, or going to her hotel room and sleeping off the rest of the alcohol. Maybe Mary Margret was right maybe she wouldn't know unless she tried. It was time to stop running from her feelings and painful memories. It was time to face it head on. Nothing would be resolved unless she knew how Killian felt. If she was ever going to be honest with herself she needed Killian to be honest with her.
Noticing they were one short, Ruby turned to see where Emma was. Her eyes widened like a kid spotting a shiny red bike under the Christmas tree when she saw Emma walking towards the bar. Wrapping her arm with Belle's she skipped out the bar.
"Need any help?" Emma slinked her way behind the bar.
He threw her a bar rag. "Thanks love." He suddenly became the Killian Emma knew, the sweet guy who hid behind the innuendo's and heavy flirting. "It's really good to have you home."
"You say that like you missed me." The words just came out before she had time to stop them. Part of her regretted saying them, while the other waited for a response. There was only a smile. "It's good to be back. I never realized how much I missed everyone." Emma moved down to the other side of the bar where Killian was.
"And how is life treating you in Boston? There a boyfriend in your life I should be worried about coming after me after all of tonight's flirting?" Killian was unskillfully trying to get information out of Emma.
"Good and no. There's no boyfriend. How could there be when I'm so attached to you?" Emma responded slipping into the playful girl she once used to be with him.
"Attached to me? I thought that is why you left. So you wouldn't get attached to me?" He was standing behind her. His breath hot on her neck.
Furious, hurt and upset at what he had just said she turned to face him. "It's not like you came chasing after me, now did you?"
"I didn't know I was supposed to Swan. You made it quite clear that you didn't want me to when you slammed the door in my face. I had no bloody idea where you went. You could have called or written. I was here the whole time." The tiny space between them now had grown. Killian angrily leaned on the back of the bar, nearly knocking over a bottle of liquor as his back slammed into the counter.
"This was a bad idea." Emma stormed out from behind the bar. Killian's fingertips grazing her skin, but Emma didn't know if he was trying to grab her to stay or if it was by mistake. She didn't care and kept walking.
Her feet lead the way as she stormed back to Granny's. What was she thinking? There was no way around her just leaving him and never speaking to him again. The anger started to build even more but she didn't know if she was angrier at Killian for being honest, or at herself for knowing that he was right. She was the one who left and hid from the world, only contacting Ruby to let her know she was alive. It's not like he couldn't have asked Ruby where she was, but then again Ruby would rather chew off her own arm than spill one of her secrets. Frustrated she let out a muffled scream as she kicked off her shoes and slammed the door behind her. Praying that she hadn't woken Ruby, or worse Granny, she threw herself on her bed. She stared at the ceiling as if some mystical power would come down from it and give her the answers to the all the questions she had about her and Killian, or why the night had gone the way it had. Suddenly there was a knock on her door that Emma suspected was Ruby wanting to know what the slamming door was all about.
"I'm fine Ruby..."She started to say as she opened the door.
Two hands grabbed each side of her face stifling any other words that could come out of her mouth with a kiss she knew all too well. Emma fell into the kiss. There was no fighting it. Her body remembered every move it needed to make to draw the best out of a Killian Jones kiss. That her hands where best placed at his upper arms to balance herself. To step back slowly as his feet will follow yours. Even though his kiss was forceful, there was a softness to it that only she understood. Killian kissed with his emotions behind it. Ones Emma knew all too well, because they were the same she kept buried inside for years.
Breaking for nothing more than a moment, Emma smiled at him. This was not some simple smile, but one that she hadn't had or seen in years. Every inch of her face lit up. Killian stared at her puzzled but with a glowing smile of his own. Not wanting to waste another moment, Emma went for him like a huntress after her prey. Effortlessly she pushed the leather jacket off, making his feet follow hers, she walked them towards the bed as she worked on his belt buckle, followed by the button and zipper of his jeans. Emma could feel his nervous hands fidgeting with the zipper to her dress. Softly she laughed turning her body so he could remove it. As it fell to the floor, she stepped out of it and faced him. In that moment she felt naked even though she wasn't. For the first time in her life she was exposing every imperfection and fear to someone. Allowing them to see who she truly was.
Confidently, Killian reached for Emma's waist to pull her flush against him. Their eyes locked, saying everything that needed to be said over the years. Glances exchanging I'm sorry, I missed you, I dreamed of you, I wished to see you and I love you but can't say it. Hands steadier, finding the clasp of her bra and with a quick movement of his fingers released her prefect breasts from their constraint. Feeling it was only fair since she was almost naked, Emma tugged at the black t-shirt Killian had on. Chewing on the inside of her cheek as she pulled it over his head. The nervous teenagers in them took over and the pair glanced down at the last garments on them from keeping them from being completely naked. With her index finger hooked into the elastic of Killian's boxers Emma lead him to the bed and on top of her as she slid backwards on to it.
There's something very new but yet familiar about this moment. Killian pressed his body onto Emma's. The weight a reminder of the day she ran from love, but this time she was welcoming it. She wanted to lose herself in him and everything he had to give her. With a simple kiss on Emma's shoulder, Killian brought down the nearly three decade old wall she had created around her heart. Closing her eyes she let her finger tips trace the lines of Killian's upper back and shoulders. Finding their way into his dark hair as he kissed a straight path down to her stomach. Each kiss creating a memory on Emma's body. Gliding his hands up the outside of Emma's thighs, he gently removed the last piece of clothing from her body, watching her body move to his touch. Tiny goose bumps appearing on her perfect skin as he went.
As his mouth hovered over her center, Emma's body reacted automatically to the sensation, never stopping to think if he would be her greatest mistake. Killian's tongue darted out to taste the sweet nectar her body produced just for him. A taste he only dreamt of tasting. Delighting in every single drop, he savored it all. Emma's nails dug deep into the shoulder muscles produced from carrying heavy beer crates up and down the stairs of the bar. Killian feed off of the slight pain this created. The harder Emma's nails dug in the more he delved into her body, the more painstakingly blissful the strokes of his tongue became. He was hoping to hear his name breathlessly escape her lips. Within moments he could feel Emma's body reacting to his every move. Her body rising like sin and falling from virtue. Moving away from her warmth he slinked upwards. Crashing his lips on hers, leaving bruises in the wake of the powerful kiss. Emma tasted herself on his lips as she put her hands to better use and removed his boxers. Letting her nails graze his warm skin before bring them back up. In a fluid motion she dug her heels into the bed as Killian slid into her.
"Fuck" Emma quietly muttered.
"As you wish" the words passed his lips and into Emma's ear causing her to laugh.
Their movements were in sync and perfect. As if the universe had planned this all along. No awkward moments of trying to find how the other moved. Killian and Emma just knew how each other's bodies worked. What they needed. With every pervious sexual encounter, Emma would close her eyes tight. She never liked them seeing her in one of her rawest of moments. She would let her mind wander to other thoughts: laundry, work bills, Neverland. Not this time. Not with Killian.
With wide green eyes she stared into his. It brought comfort and happiness to her. A sense of security she thought she would never find. Emma's eyes gave Killian everything he needed in that moment, telling her that his pace was too soft and slow. Entangling his fingers with hers he raised their hands above her head as he pushed harder into her. Emma bit her lip so the tiniest of squeals would stay trapped in her throat. Neither Granny nor Ruby needed to hear more than the sounds of the bed echoing through the thin walls. Killian smiled at her weak attempt. Seeing a challenge he lifted her leg for better leverage. He need to hear every sound Emma made. He craved it like a new drug. Calloused fingers held her thigh in a perfect position as Killian moved into her so far that you couldn't discern where he ended and she began. Emma fell to his wish as she let a whimper of pleasure escape. Her eyes widening and staring up at the off white ceiling as her head fell back. Each hand grabbing at the 1980's floral comforter. Satisfaction written in Killian's smile. She loved him a challenge as much as he did.
"Oh you think you know me?" With a swift movement of her legs she had Killian on his back. "I have moves you have never seen."
"You're going to have to show me love." His hand reached for her neck pulling her down so his lips captured hers. Once again, his kiss making her feel the emotions she was burying deep down. For the first time she released them from their cage and kissed him with the same emotion. Her kiss revealing all she felt. Her body and heart knew what her mind was catching up to. He would be her greatest adventure.
Focusing her all on him, Emma moved on Killian effortlessly. Pushing out every ounce of pleasure he had kept stored up for her. Blonde locks covering their faces as Emma leaned forward. Foreheads touching. Eyes locked as she rode him to a level of pleasure neither had experienced. Killian's hands held onto her waist, not to control the speed, but to remind him all this was real. His hands traveled up her curves to Emma's breasts, taking each one in his hand, and letting his thumb glide over perfect pink nipples. Emma jerked forward, enjoying the sensation of his hands on her. She bit her lip nearly drawing blood. Pulling her forward slightly, he positioned Emma so that his mouth met her breasts perfectly. His tongue traced tiny circles around her right breast before sucking on the pink pebble.
"Killian" Emma let out as she moved faster and harder against him, her breath becoming shallow.
"Emma" He removed his mouth just to say her name. The one thing that he knew would send her into a plane of euphoria that only a Greek tragedy could describe.
Emma was unable to keep her eyes locked on Killian, so she shut them as the wave of white light and heat came over her body. Reveling in every second of the moment, she moved slowly as her body fell forward onto Killian. Her face falling into the crook of his neck, she inhaled his scent as she figured out how to breathe. Wanting to extend her euphoria, Killian softly moved her to her back as he positioned himself on top of her. Kissing her cheeks and neck as he found a rhythm that made her open her eyes. Killian wanted nothing more to watch her every expression. There was a need to make sure she was enjoying herself. With each movement going deeper and deeper into her body Emma laughed. A small smile at first but a full smile moments later. Her smile and laughter was what he needed. Even when she covered her face.
"I love that smile Swan." he said before kissing her.
She said nothing but smiled more. Killian couldn't help but rock harder into her, making her body curve upwards into him. His heart rate speeding up as his movement became more erratic. Her body, smile and laugh were pushing him to the edge he never thought he would have from her. As Emma's hand slide into his hair, gripping at it for dear life, he lost it. He lost himself in her, everything he had, he released in her. His body went limp and he fell on her, crushing her in the most pleasant and satisfying way. Emma kissed every place her lips could reach. He could have stayed on her like that forever and she wouldn't have cared.
Afraid he was crushing Emma, Killian rolled off of her just to pull her into him. Her body forming into his as she laid on him. Neither said a word. Killian's fingers travelled down her body until he moved Emma's arm so her fingers where one with his. Within moments the two were asleep. No words. No laughs. No kisses. Just sleep. Peaceful, beautiful sleep.
The sun started to peak through the blinds of Emma's room. She was still entangled in Killian's body. With sleepy eyes she looked at him and smiled. Her dry lips placing a sweet kiss on his chest. Killian rustled a bit. Afraid she may have woken him, Emma pretended to be asleep. There was no need to though. This wasn't some one night stand she wanted to avoid awkward morning conversation with or promise to call later on for dinner plans. This was Killian, the one person who knew everything about her and now every inch of her. Emma slide up his body until her lips pressed themselves on the stubble of his jaw line. Each kiss she left on his skin waking him slowly. Her body pushing itself off the mattress and onto his.
"Morning love." Blue eyes open wide and brightly lit as he stared at the beautiful blonde on him. It wasn't a dream after all.
"Morning" Pulled by an intense desire, Emma kissed him. The kiss tasted of last night's remnants of alcohol and passion. Her skin began to prickle as Killian's hands moved with a feather's touch down the curves of her waist. The flicker of last night's fire starting to ignite once again, as her lean long legs settled on either side of Killian. "Don't think I'm going to wake you up like this every morning."
The words escaped her lips faster than she could catch them. Finally her heart and mind had caught up to each other, and now the evidence was in the air, ringing over and over in both their ears. Neither could speak words. All they could do was stare at the other. Once again reading everything that needed to be said in the looks they exchanged and the smiles on their faces. The fear Emma once had of being love was gone. Killian had brought her home to him in one night. The unspoken 'I'm staying' was more powerful than the words themselves could have been. Overjoyed, Killian took Emma by her face and kissed her with a different force. It was something so pure and filled with love, that the two sank into it like an old sweater on a cold night.
"Happy to HEAR you two finally are together" Ruby shouted as she walked past Emma's door obviously knowing the events that happened during the night.
All Emma and Killian could do was laugh. Laugh so uncontrollably hard that they both fell back into the bed. Holding onto one another as their sides began to hurt. And that is how they stayed all morning.