AN: Please don't kill me! I'll update No Room For It soon i just had to get this out of my head! Aside from the whole "I haven't updated my stories that are in progress for ages" thing I'm actually quite proud. I have three new one shots under my belt (this being one of them). The two other stories are The Plan and You're Lucky, You Know That? and their summaries are after the second AN. Oh and if you happen to review (that would honestly be a miracle of Kami-sama himself if you did that) which I beg that you do, please do not flame me on the train of thought Hinata takes okay? Every one has one of those days when life just feels like shit and we are just DONE. With that said, if you haven't decieded tonot read this, please continue on and enjoy!

Warning: Dark thoughts along with a strong sense of self loathing

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. But I do own several Naruto figurines :D

I don't know what to do anymore.

I have tried and tried but there is nothing, nothing, I can do to satisfy him.

I excel in my studies. My grades are and always have been above average. My calligraphy is is precise, due to hours of diligent practice. The healing ointments I make are some of the best. That paired with my vast knowledge of plants should be impressive right?

No.

It's not enough.

It never is.

No matter how much I try to please him. It makes no difference.

Is this punishment for misdoings in a past life? Or am I simply as Hanabi put it, "fucked in life."

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm simply not a natural fighter. But I still train hard in hopes of improving. And I have.

Just not enough.

I'm a chunin now.

I'm stronger, faster, better.

And yet you still won't acknowledge me father.

What do I have to do? Tell me.

I'll do it.

I promise you I will.

Do I have to beat someone in a fight? Like Hanabi or Neji? I'll do it, somehow.

I really will.

Just give me a chance.

Please.

What does it take for you to see me as your daughter.

Because I am your daughter, father. But not only yours, I'm my mothers daughter too.

Is that it.

Is that why you can't stand the sight of me. Because I remind you of her. Does it kill you inside when you see me and think of her.

I hope it does.

I really do.

Because I die a little more inside each and every time you look at me like I am nothing but trash.

You want me to be perfect.

Perfect shinobi.

Perfect clan leader.

Perfect wife.

Perfect Hinata.

How can I be perfect?

Please tell me how to achieve perfection in your eyes?

Is it a matter of time?

Will I be perfect when I no longer stutter in front of you? Or when I can take a life without an ounce of regret. Maybe I'll be perfect when I rid myself of my emotions, which seem to irritate you so.

No.

I know when I'll be perfect.

I'll be perfect when one of the ground keepers informs you that they found my dead body in the garden with numerous lacerations to both wrists.

You won't even have to move my body. Just bury me there among the flowers.

Then I'd be perfect.

Perfectly out of the way.

AN: Please let me know what you think! Reviews GREATLY appreciated!

P.S. Here are my two new one shots if your interested :)

Title: The Plan

Genre: Humor

Character: Hyuuga Hinata

Rating: M

Summary: "I didn't think it'd end up like this, but I guess things don't always go as planned."-Hyuuga Hinata

Title: You're Lucky, You Know That?

Genre: Romance & Humor

Characters: Arisawa Tatsuki & Kurosaki Ichigo

Rating: M

Summary: "You know those moments in life when you realize you were a dumb ass? Yeah. I'm having one of those moments right now."-Arisawa Tatsuki

P.S.S. Thanks for reading and again, PLEASE REVIEW!

-Hinata-Rae