Heartbreak (Bella's POV)
Chapter 1
I woke in my bed shaking; the night Edward had left me fresh in my mind. His parting words, like he'd just said them a few minutes ago. I'd never really gotten over him leaving me. I mean how could I whenever I closed my eyes his face was there. His perfect body. His perfect voice. But it wasn't just about him even though I loved him unconditionally. It was the Cullen's. I missed Esme. Renee didn't get me like Esme did and more to the point. Renee didn't love me. I was a mistake. An inconvenience that she was stuck with until I turned 18. Esme was like the mother I never had. Carlisle had always treated me the same as the other Cullen "teenagers". Almost as if I was his own. Charlie like Renee had never wanted me and couldn't wait to get rid of me. I didn't care about blood relations; Carlisle and Esme were my parents. I laid there in my bed thinking. I couldn't get the Cullen's out of my head. I longed for Edward's arms to be around me. Even the thought of his name brought tears to my eyes. My heart was broken.
I'd started feeling funny a few weeks after Edward left. I figured it was just a bug. I looked at the clock it was 8 am. I climbed out of bed there was a walk in centre at the hospital. I pulled on my jeans and a top and grabbed my purse and keys heading to my truck. I climbed in checking my mirrors. My face was pale, I had bags under my eyes and a thin layer of sweat laid across my fore head. I sighed starting the engine. It was only a 20 minute drive to the hospital and I found a parking space easily. I went inside and handed my insurance card to the receptionist. The hospital was surprisingly quite.
"I'll take you straight in hun" the receptionist said standing.
She led me into a room. Everything was white. It felt like a mental hospital. But there was a bit of colour. The cot was black. The door opened and the doctor walked in, I kept my eyes focused on the floor.
"So what seems to be the problem Miss...Bella?"
There was no mistaking that perfect angelic voice. I looked up my eyes locked on Carlisle's face as I stood up. I threw myself into his arms.
"Bella?" Carlisle said alarmed this time.
"I-I'm sorry..." I said panicking slightly.
"Bella. Bella. Ssshh" He soothed.
"I shouldn't have come." I said shaking my head and heading for the door.
"Bella wait..." He said.
I felt weird the room started to spin and I felt awful inside. My breathing was getting heavier.
"I...I...don't..." I said and then I collapsed.
"Bella...Bella?" Carlisle's voice drifted in and out.
My eyes fluttered and opened. The bright white light was the first thing I saw.
"Bella?" Carlisle said, shinning a light in my eyes.
I sat up.
"Take it easy...Calm down" He said.
"I'm sorry...I-If your here...Is he...?" I asked stuttering a little.
He shook his head with an apologetic look on his face. "No he isn't"
I sighed.
"Bella why don't you tell me what's wrong?" He said.
"It's nothing I'm fine" I answered
"Oh...so day trips to the hospital is part of your routine now?" He mused
"No" I smiled slightly
"Look if it makes you more comfortable I can get another doctor?" Carlisle asked me.
"No!" I answered a little too quickly.
Carlisle came closer and wrapped his arms around me, holding me to his chest. He rubbed my back softly. I clung to him breathing in his scent I was trying to memorise it.
"You know you can talk to me about anything? It's completely confidential" He said softly.
I took a deep breathe. "A couple of weeks after you left...after E-Edward left...I started feeling funny...I thought maybe it was just a bug but, it doesn't seem to be going away." I told him.
"Okay, what sort of symptoms are you experiencing?" Carlisle asked, concern filling his eyes.
"Umm...nausea, dizziness, headaches, feeling weak..." I said.
"Can I examine you?" he asked cautiously.
"Yeah..." I nodded.
"Okay lie back for me?" He said.
I laid back and he lifted my top up. He pressed lightly along my bikini line and abdomen. I winced slightly.
"Okay I'd like to do an ultrasound? I just want to check for an internal infection." He said in a calm voice.
"Okay..." I smiled nervously.
He pulled an ultrasound machine over. And squirted some gel on my stomach.
"It's going to be fine Bella, just stay calm" He reassured me.
I focused on trying to slow my racing heart. Carlisle ran the sensor over my abdomen.
"Oh..." He said in surprise. "Bella when was your last period?" He asked.
"I don't know I haven't had one for a while...I thought maybe it was stress. With him leaving and getting ill" I replied truthfully.
"Bella have you considered that you could be pregnant?" Carlisle asked me wiping the gel off my stomach.
"I...I...can't be...I haven't with...anyone...since E-Edw-...I just can't be...You've been gone ages..." I stuttered trying to let the news sink in.
"It's only been two months Bella..." He said looking at me concerned.
I gasped. "But..." I said.
"Look I know this is a shock. Having a baby at this age can't have been something you had planned. But, we have time to think and I'll back you no matter what you decide." He said.
I just laid therein shock.
"Bella? I finish soon. Why don't you come home with me and we can sit down and talk about this. You can stay over if you like?" Carlisle said softly.
I nodded staying quiet.
"I'll be right back, stay here" He kissed my head and left the room.
I stayed laid on the cot. I was in the exact same position when he came back in the room. He helped me stand and slid his suit jacket on me. He took me out to the car. I started walking towards my truck. Carlisle put his arm around my waist leading me towards his Mercedes.
"I'm fine, I'm perfectly capable of driving" I argued.
"Bella come on? You can barely walk straight, let alone drive. You're in shock." Carlisle said.
"I'm fine." I said stubbornly.
"Bella come on...Don't make me force you." Carlisle said
I sighed and started walking towards the Mercedes. Carlisle unlocked the car and I climbed in the passenger side. I put my seat belt on and before I knew it trees were speeding past us. Carlisle parked in the garage and led me through to the house. I was shocked to find Esme inside. She wrapped her arms around me holding me tight. I cried into her chest softly.
"Ssshh sweetheart. It's okay." She soothed. She took me over to the couch and sat me down. I curled into her side and Carlisle turned on the fire on.
I stayed at the Cullen's house most of the night.
"I better go" I said.
"You're more than welcome to stay here tonight?" Esme said.
"I'd love to but I can't. Charlie will be...worried" I said choosing my words carefully.
I stood up and Esme stood with me.
"At least let me drive you?" Carlisle said.
"No Charlie will start asking questions. I can drive I'm okay now. I'll go home, get some sleep and I'll come back in the morning and we can talk about this." I suggested.
"Bella you shouldn't be driving" Carlisle said.
"Please...you don't understand. I need you to trust me on this. Things have changed since you left." I sighed.
"Is there something we need to know?" Esme asked.
"I'll explain tomorrow...Just please I have to go" I said.
I took Carlisle's jacket off and handed it to him. Then I went outside climbing in my truck and starting the engine. They had no choice but to let me go. I drove home as fast as I could. When I got in Charlie was sat on the couch drinking beer.
"Where have you been?" He barked.
"I stayed behind after school to catch up on some work." I lied
He stood and stumbled his way towards me. I knew what was coming. Charlie grabbed me by my hair and threw me against the wall.
"Did I give you permission to go swanning off doing as you please?" He yelled slurring his words.
"No dad" I sobbed
Charlie smacked me straight across the face.
"You stupid bitch! You always were useless! A waste of resources and air!" He continued to yell.
I could taste blood in my mouth. I tried to move away but, he grabbed my arm. His grip tightening.
"Ow" I sobbed
Charlie hit me again and grabbed my hair. He dragged me upstairs and threw me in my room. I hit the chest of drawers. He locked the door and went downstairs to carry on drinking. I curled up on my bed and cried myself to sleep. In the morning when I woke up I got dressed in my jeans. I noticed black and purple finger shaped bruises on my arms.
"Oh shit" I whispered to myself.
I found a long sleeved, black t-shirt and pulled it on. I looked in the mirror. I had a black eye and my split lip was visible. I covered my face in foundation but it didn't do much good. I'd have to make up something about my lip. I couldn't bail out or Carlisle and Esme would know something was wrong. I picked the lock on my bedroom door and went downstairs. Charlie was passed out on the couch; empty beer cans littered the house. I went outside climbing in my truck and drove to the Cullen's house. I parked in the drive and sat in the truck for a while trying to calm my heart. I don't know why I bothered trying to hide it. I knew they'd see straight through my lies. I got out the truck, took a deep breathe and walked up the path and across the porch. I was just about to knock when the door opened. Carlisle was stood there.
"Good morning Bella. Come in" He said smiling.
I walked inside keeping my eyes on the floor. Esme hugged me and I winced the bruises hurt but, I tried my best to hide it. She pulled away and lifted her hand to brush my hair out of my face. I flinched moving backwards, I was shaking like a leaf. So much for hiding it.
"I-I'm sorry" I sobbed.
"Bella?" Esme said. Concern covered her perfect, heart shaped face.
"Bella what happened to your lip?" Carlisle asked.
"Nothing. I bit it." I replied, trying to calm myself.
My tears got rid of most of the foundation and I could tell Carlisle wasn't falling for the 'I bit it' line.
"Bella who did this to you?" Esme asked.
"No one, I walked into the cupboard door" I lied again.
Carlisle looked at me, his eyes soft and caring.
"Come on Bella. We can't help if you don't tell us the truth" He said.
"Was it Charlie?" Esme asked softly her voice was barely a whisper.
"He didn't mean to. He never does. It's the alcohol. It makes him do bad things. He doesn't mean it." I cried.
Esme's arms wrapped around me and she held me tightly as I sobbed. When I had calmed down a little and I'd stopped crying. Carlisle came to sit opposite me and Esme.
"Bella, how often does Charlie do this to you?" Carlisle asked.
"Every night or so..." I answered truthfully.
"You can't go back there angel" Esme said, her voice soft yet final.
"I have to" I said
"Bella it would be irresponsible for us as parents to let you go back there. Let alone me as your doctor. Not only would you be in serious danger but the baby would be too" Carlisle said.
"Let us protect you?" Esme said
She rubbed my arms softly. I couldn't say no. I felt safe with them. And the house felt like home.
"Okay" I agreed after weighing up the pro's and cons.
"Have you thought about what you want to do?" Carlisle asked.
"I want to keep it." I said quietly.
"That's fine with us."Esme smiled.
"You should eat something." Carlisle instructed
"I'm on it."Esme said standing up and going to the kitchen
"I think we should talk to Edward about this" I said.
"I'll try to get hold of him" Carlisle promised.
I stood up going into the kitchen; Esme was stood over the cooker.
"Anything I can help with?" I asked.
"Nope, it'll be done soon" Esme smiled.
Oh no not again! My head was starting to spin. Faster and faster. I couldn't make anything out. And finally I fainted.
"Bella? Bella?" Carlisle said.
My eye lids lifted involuntarily and a bright light shined in them. Another cold hand stroked my hair, soothing me. I groaned softly.
"Bella? Can you open your eyes for me?" Carlisle asked.
My eyes fluttered open and I looked up into the bright room.
"What did I say about taking it easy?" Carlisle chuckled.
"I'm sorry" I replied.
I was laid on the couch and someone had wrapped a blanket around me. Esme handed me a plate of food and I picked at it. All I could think about was Charlie and how mad he'd be when he found me. What if the Cullen's left again? What would I do then?
"Have you heard from Edward?" I asked.
"Yes he'll be here as soon as he can" Carlisle said smiling softly.
My heart raced. Edward was coming back! We were going to be together again.
I finished eating and curled into the couch. I fell asleep sooner than I thought.
Edward was stood in the woods but the closer I got to him the further he moved away. Jake emerged from behind me and padded forward slowly bearing his teeth. I tried to tell them to stop but it was no good they couldn't hear me. "Edward!" I screamed. "Edward no!" It was no use he couldn't hear me. Edward and Jacob were running at each other there was a crack and a pale white hand rolled by my feet and Edward yelled in pain.
"NOOOO!" I screamed.
I woke myself up.
"Bella Ssshh its okay, It was just a dream" Esme soothed.
She wrapped her arms around me. I gasped slightly. It took a while but I finally calmed down. I took a shower and dressed in fresh clothes. I went downstairs to find Edward sat on the couch. A smile spread across my face and my heart beat faster.
"Oh Edwar-" I said, but I was cut off by a musical voice.
"Edward honey?" The voice called.
I walked into the kitchen following the sound of the voice. It was Tanya. Edward walked in and took her hand. Everything suddenly became clear. I gasped. I was so stupid to think he'd come back for me.
"I...erm...I-It's late. I better go...home" I said turning and heading for the door.
"Bella you're not going back there" Esme said appearing in front of me.
"I need to go" I answered opening the door.
I walked out the door and climbed in my truck starting the engine. Esme climbed in the passenger side. I drove as far away from the house as I could before I could barely see through tears. I pulled up at the side of the road and stared out the windscreen.
"Bella-" Esme said.
"Its fine I shouldn't have got my hopes up. He's, moved on it's fine" I answered.
"Bella-" Esme said again.
"I said its fine!" I snapped.
"Calm down" Esme said in a soft voice.
"I need to go home" I said after a few minutes.
"No" She said firmly
"I'm not going back there" I said stubbornly
"You can't go back to Charlie" she said
"Watch me" I challenged
"Right I'm coming with you" Esme said
"Fine" I groaned
I drove back to the house and climbed out.
"Don't try and stop him" I whispered
I took a deep breathe and went inside, Esme behind me.
"Dad?" I called
"Where've you been?" Charlie yelled
"I'm sorry dad I had some stuff to sort out" I replied quietly.
"Hey Charlie" Esme interrupted
"Hi" Charlie grunted
I hung my coat up and went in the room.
"Get me a beer bitch!" Charlie called
"You don't talk to her like that" Esme said in a firm voice her eyes were dark. I'd never seen her like that.
"Bella get your stuff" Esme said turning to me
"She's going no where" Charlie snapped grabbing my arm
"Let go of her" Esme said in a calm, firm voice
"She's my daughter" Charlie said determined
"And it's your grandchild I'm carrying, so go on hit me!" I challenged
Charlie dropped my hand and stared at me in shock.
"You stupid child. You're not keeping it." He barked.
"Enough" Esme said "Bella get your stuff"
I went upstairs to get my stuff, Charlie followed we were arguing at the top. When he pushed he I lost my balance and tumbled down the stairs. My head smacked the wooden step and everything went black.
"Bella? Bella?" Carlisle's voice drifted in and out
"What happened?" I groaned I tried to get up.
"Don't move" Carlisle instructed
"The ambulance is on its way" Esme said
"I'm fine no need for the hospital" I argued
I tried to get up again. Carlisle's cold hands held my head still.
"Stay still" Carlisle said again
The ambulance came and took me to the hospital. They ran tests and scans. Even though I protested the whole time. The baby was fine and so was I. I just had to take it easy. They let me go home. Well to the Cullen's house.
"How are you feeling Bella?" Tanya asked as I walked through the door.
"Like you care" I muttered.
"Bella we need to talk" Edward said
"I have nothing to say to you" I said angrily
I sat on the couch and closed my eyes.
"Bella? We need to talk about this" Edward persisted
I ignored him sipping my glass of water.
"Bella! We need to discuss this" Edward said almost shouting
"FUCK OFF!" I screamed throwing the glass in the direction of Edward's head, he ducked and the glass hit the wall and shattered. Edward shut up.
"Bella calm down" Carlisle said cautiously
My head was pounding.
"Come on" Esme said. She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and took me outside.
I kicked a tree and totally lashed out. Esme grabbed me by my shoulders and spun me round so I was looking her.
"Calm down" she said.
(Esme's POV)
I felt awful. It wasn't fair. Bella was screwed up enough as it was after the way Charlie and Renee had treated her. Then us leaving had broken her. Now she was pregnant and Edward was with Tanya. I couldn't imagine how she felt right now. She was probably terrified. I held her tight in my arms as she cried into my chest. We didn't know the effects of the pregnancy yet or whether Bella was strong enough. Edward had left her alone in this. Yet she had such a good heart she couldn't bear to terminate the baby's existence.
"Ssshh" I soothed
Her breathing was getting faster and her heart was pounding. She was starting to hyperventilate.
"Bella calm down sweetheart" I said softly rubbing her back
I held her tight. I heard footsteps coming through the kitchen heading our way. Carlisle came out the door and stood next to me. I gave him a worried look.
"Edward has gone away temporarily" He said.
Bella's sobs died down and I knew the news was in someway comforting to her. I continued to rub her back.
"I can't do this" Bella whispered
"Talk to us Bells" I said softly
"I had this all...planned out. Me and Edward back together...having a baby...being a family. But he's moved on and I can't do this without him...So I need your help...?" She whispered
As much as it broke me to hear her say those words this wasn't about my thoughts and feelings...It was about Bella and what was best for her.
"If your sure that's what you want?" Carlisle said his voice bleak
Bella just nodded.
"As soon as possible...I don't want this to be any harder than it already is" She whispered softly.
Carlisle nodded then Bella pulled away to look at me.
"Esme you don't have to be there I know I'm being selfish..." She trailed off
"I'll be there for you" I said in a quiet voice
We took Bella upstairs and she fell asleep. I sat with her all night watching her sleep.
(Bella's POV)
I woke in the morning stiff and dazed. I'd slept a long time longer than normal. I went downstairs and into the living room. Carlisle was prepping for my procedure. About 10 minutes later he came downstairs.
"Bella? Are you ready" He asked.
"Yes" I whispered
He took me upstairs and laid me on the table. He rubbed iodine all over my stomach and bikini line. I took deep breathes. I there was a lot of crashing downstairs and Edward ran in the room.
"Bella don't do this!" He said
I sighed
"I was never with Tanya we're friends she was just taking it too far. I love you I always have and I always will" He continued
Edward lifted my chin with his hand and pressed his lips to mine.
"This is my choice" I said
"This is my baby too" He whispered
"You can't just walk in here and change my mind" I said quietly
Chapter 2
He picked me up and carried me into our room. He washed the iodine off and got me dressed in some jeans and a baggy top before I could blink. He drove me to B&Q and pulled me out the car.
"What are we doing here?" I asked
"Esme has designated a room for the nursery. So WE are going to decorate it. I'm serious about us." He said
I did feel a little excited about Edward's new found enthusiasm. We went inside and started looking at paint. We got a lime green paint and went back to the house. He took my hand leading me upstairs. He was like a totally different person. A side to him that I'd never seen before, when he kissed me it was full of passion and lust. Edward opened a tin of paint and handed me a brush. I took it dipping it in the tin it took us a couple of hours to paint the whole room. When we'd finished there was still a bit of paint left. I took my brush dipping it in the paint and brushed it over Edward's nose. He chuckled.
"That's it!" He grinned, scooping me up he was pretending to be a bear. "Rawr!" He growled playfully.
"Edward I screamed, giggling.
He carried me downstairs and into the kitchen, he went to the fridge and grabbed the squirty cream. I grabbed the ketchup. We were both about to fire when Carlisle walked in.
"What's all this then?" He asked. He caught me by surprise and I turned covering him in ketchup. Edward laughed.
"I'm so sorry." I apologised.
Edward's arm wrapped around my waist and Carlisle smirked.
"It's fine Bella" Carlisle said.
My stomach growled.
"Dinner time!"Edward growled playfully. He scooped me up into his arms and I screamed.
"Edward be careful with her" Carlisle cautioned him.
Edward rolled his eyes.
"Bella you have a scan booked the day after tomorrow" Carlisle smiled.
I got the cookie jar and sat on the work top eating chocolate cookies and chocolate ice cream.
"That is not a healthy diet" Edward chuckled.
"Don't blame me it's your baby that wants them" I said
Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me softly. I put the cookie jar down and wrapped my arms around his neck kissing him back. He chuckled softly against my lips, deepening the kiss. He pulled away and dropped down on one knee.
"What are you doing?" I asked
He pulled out a ring. It was beautiful.
"Isabella Swan, I love you more than words can say. Will you marry me?" He asked
Tears streamed down my face "Yes. Yes of course I will" I sobbed.
Edward slid the ring on my left hand and picked me up spinning me round and round, while he kissed me.
"I love you" I whispered against his lips.
"I love you too my love" Edward replied.
Edward and I sat on the couch. Well he sat on the couch and I sat on him. I couldn't believe I'd ever doubted him there was no way Edward would ever cheat on me with Tanya. Esme and Carlisle were sat on the couch opposite, watching in awe. I curled into Edward's chest and he held me close. Every so often he'd kiss my head. I moved to look up at Edward and suddenly got a nauseous feeling. Yep, I was definitely going to puke. I scrambled to my feet and ran for the door I knew I'd never make it to the bathroom or the kitchen sink.
"Bella?" Edward said alarmed
I ran out the door and threw up over the side of the porch.
Edward held me up by my waist and rubbed my back. When I was finished. I sat down, exhausted and took some deep breathes.
"Are you okay Bella?" Carlisle asked.
"Yeah just give me a minute" I panted
I laid down pressing my cheek to the cool wood and closed my eyes. Edward pressed his hand to my head and I relaxed.
"How do you feel?"Edward asked
"Fine" I lied No! I felt sick to my core and I had a banging headache.
"Bella?" Edward asked anxiously
"I'm fine honestly" I replied
Edward picked me up in his arms and took me inside. I clung to his ice cold chest; the coolness was helping with my temperature. I still felt dizzy but I didn't think I'd be sick again. I closed my eyes and relaxed into Edward's arms.
"Bella how do you feel?" Carlisle asked
"I'm okay" I groaned
(Carlisle's POV)
She said she was okay but you could tell she wasn't. She was trying to hide her pain, it hurt me to see her like that. I wished there was something I could do to help her.
"Bella please let me help you?" I pleaded with her
"I'm okay Carlisle" she answered
But her face was pale and her eyes were tired and droopy. She was exhausted both mentally and physically.
Esme took over from Edward holding Bella in her arms. The coolness of us seemed to help her. Bella closed her eyes. We didn't know much about the foetus but we knew it was slowly killing her. But she wouldn't give the baby up in order to save her own life. In a way I admired her but I knew that if we lost her it would tear Edward apart. Esme kept trying to get Bella to eat but she couldn't keep anything down. Edward's eyes met mine and he motioned for me to follow him. Edward didn't stop until we were on the balcony of the second floor.
"We have to do something" Edward said "It's killing her"
"I know but what can I do?" I said
"We try to talk her out of it, if she doesn't listen...drug her" He said regret clear in his voice
"Esme and Rosalie would never allow it" I said
I went back inside leaving Edward outside to calm down. I sat on the other side of Bella.
"Bella?" I said softly
She opened her eyes to look at me
"Bella, sweetheart, I need to do something, your getting worse and at this rate your heart will give up before you can deliver" I told her, breaking the news as gently as possible
Her face broke and her eyes teared up
"I won't let you take him. He's my little EJ." She said determined
"Bella calm down. I want to help you" I said taking her hand
I got her to take some deep breathes. I needed to try and run a scan but I decided to let her calm down fully and rest for a while. She seemed to have a connection with Esme that she never had with Renee, a certain bond, the sort of thing daughters have with their mothers. I watched as Bella curled into Esme's chest, she fell asleep after a short while as I thought she would. I went upstairs to carry on my research when a thought crossed my mind. Bella hadn't been able to keep anything down; maybe the baby had an appetite closer to his father's. I had to approach the idea with caution I didn't want to freak Bella out. When I went back downstairs Bella was awake.
I took Esme to one side and told her about my theory. She seemed to agree with me. We told Bella and she agreed to try it out, but to be honest I think she'd have tried anything at this point. I poured some O negative into a blue cup and took it out to Bella. She hesitated before putting the straw to her lips and taking a sip. After a few minutes her face dropped.
"It tastes good" she said but she looked ashamed
"That's a good sign Bells" I encouraged "It means we're on the right track" I smiled at her
She looked stronger already she had some colour in her cheeks and she didn't look as exhausted. She tried to stand up, Esme hovered with her arm around Bella's waist ready to catch her incase she fell. She straightened herself up and wrapped her arms around her bump as if to cradle it. I could see the bond she had formed with her unborn child and she was prepared to fight for it.
(Bella's POV)
I felt stronger than I had in weeks, even though I still felt sick. The only problem was I was the size of a house this baby was growing fast. Carlisle barely knew anything about it and I had to admit that scared me a little. But, I wasn't giving in; they weren't taking my little EJ. I'd never been bothered about having children but now I was pregnant I wanted a baby more than anything. But, not just that, if I had a baby...Edward's baby...then I'd have a part of him forever so even if he left...My thoughts were interrupted by Edward.
"Bella?...Bella?" He said worry clear in his voice
I looked at him and smiled softly. He walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me.