Welcome everyone. This will be more of a comedy than what I usually do and by "comedy" I mean the Elizabethan meaning. It involves a marriage between two unmarried characters at the end, a happy ending so naturally I felt having this set at a wedding would work best with the slapstick, puns, dry humor, witty banter and practical stuff happening before the ceremony. Enjoy and review.
A Wedding
Wedding, nuptials, union, espousal what ever it was called there was one going on in Norrisville. Max Michael Buono; the twenty-nine year old mutual family friend of families such as the Cunningham's, Weinerman's, Warburton's and what not, was getting married to Karolina Ina Dunham. Being a person who was known for ambitious events, Max intended for the wedding to be three hours and nineteen minutes long with the ceremony happening ninety-nine minutes in.
"Ninety-nine minutes in!" exclaimed Ken Finlayson, Heidi Weinerman's boyfriend and thus date, as he stood by a fountain in front of the massive cathedral where the wedding was to take place. "By Ogma, is this a wedding or a joint film between Goerge Stevens, David Lean and Jean Negulesco?"
"Was David a lean man?" asked Randy Cunningham, sitting not far away as he heard Ken speak.
"Certainly, for Lean was as lean a man as a guy whose whole left side was cut off is all right." Replied Ken.
"Wish I could say the same about that joke." Commented Randy in a casual voice while at the same time expressing a calm demeanor.
"Where is Niall?" asked Ken. "He enjoys a good pun, he and I enjoy Shakespeare's comedies a great deal. He has just yet to work himself up to the best productions. I prefer my 'Twelfth Night' with Victorian costuming and to be set in winter, near Christmas."
"And Niall?" asked Randy. "How does he enjoy his 'Twelfth Night?'"
"With random costuming, a setting that could be at anytime of the year and for it to be a musical." Replied Ken.
"That wouldn't happen to be a description of that production from Stratford, Ontario from a year or two ago you told me about would it?"
"It would."
"It wouldn't happen to feature Malvolio's yellow stockings would it?" asked Randy.
"I do not know of a production that omits that scene." Replied Ken. "Though, I've only seen three productions so who am I to say if that scene has ever been omitted?"
"And how many has Niall seen?"
"Two he has told me and they are both productions I have seen but he has yet to see the one I prefer."
"Then they include the yellow stockings?"
"Yes." Replied Ken. "Why a sudden interest in what productions we have or have not seen?"
"Because Ken, I saw Niall talking to Howard about that yellow stockings scene and for once Howard did not look bored at Niall's talk of Shakespeare." Stated Randy. "He looked inspired and while Niall told him about that scene, Howard's eyes were first on Heidi and then on Robert!"
"Robert?" asked Ken, his eyes widened.
"Niall's older brother." Stated Randy.
"I know who you mean!"
"Then why did you ask?"
"I was expecting you to nod!"
Randy nodded. "There, are you happy?"
"No! And do you know why? Because that chubby and jocund compeer of yours is up to some atrocious gag!"
"Why don't you talk normally?" asked Randy, having only understood "atrocious gag."
"Because there s no fun in that!" exclaimed Ken, taking a step to look for Howard only to step on a duck that had been sitting nearby causing the duck to fly away, quacking in pain at having been stepped on. Upon flying away, the duck caused Ken to fall backwards. Why? Well, Ken's foot came onto the back of the duck and the duck's dashing away caused Ken to lose his balance and quite nearly fall into the fountain.
And then duck came back, no longer quacking in pain but quite vengefully. However, it ended up attacking Randy instead only for it to stop when Randy declared: "Leave me alone! I have laid with chickens!"
Ken's reaction? "I don't want to know."
Randy's response? "It's not how it sounds!"