Today was the day. The big day. Months and months of preparation had gone into this single solitary day and, Gods, I felt like I was going to mess it up. Not to say I was nervous for the marriage itself, but there were so many people here to watch. There's no way I'm not going to trip, or worse yet, say the wrong vows.
I should be grateful, not many girls get their dream wedding. With the Exalt nonetheless! But, was this my dream wedding? Almost every little girl had a their future wedding already planned. I don't even remember my childhood enough to know, but we all know that's a good thing. It was my dream wedding right now, I've been dreaming it up for a good year now.
More than that, actually. It's been a couple years since Chrom proposed to me. That poor man. He was so flustered, and all he had to do was ask. We decided to wait until war subsided to actually wed. I thought it was more than a good plan, it'd give use both time to prepare.
Sumia, Lissa, and Maribelle recruited themselves to help plan the wedding. I was glad for it, I didn't know the first thing about weddings and how to plan them. They helped pick flowers, decorations, the dress. Everything. The dress was my favorite part of it all, besides the prospect of marrying. It made me feel like a true lady, a feeling my tactician robe would never allow. My heart leapt just looking at it.
I thought we had prepared enough. Every minuscule detail was perfect.
But nothing would prepare me for this, because now I was staring down at my dress wondering if this was the right decision, and the wedding was today. Maybe this was too big of a commitment for the both of us. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe I'm not fit to be royalty.
I do love Chrom, and I don't doubt that he loves me the same, but why can't I help but feel like this is going to be a huge mistake?
Lissa was tutting with the dress beside me, picking at the beading along the collar. I could feel the happy energy around her, it practically radiated. She was quiet, though, and I knew it was because I must have been radiated an opposite feeling. Lissa wasn't worried, none of the other Shepherds were worried. It was probably just pre-wedding jitters.
I nudge the smaller girl, and she waits a moment before turning her head to look at me. Her eyebrows are creasing; she must think I'm going to say something awful. I wouldn't blame her for thinking that, I have been a tad bit on edge as of late. Even Chrom stayed clear of me for awhile.
"You don't have to worry, Lissa. I'm just nervous." I offer a smile. "I mean, what if I say something wrong up there? It'd actually be funny, wouldn't it?" I think it may be just because the butterflies in my stomach are multiplying, but I giggle.
Lissa's expression loosens now. "That would be so like you, Robin!" She's laughing with me, and the butterflies feel less heavy when she does.
We both turn our attention back to the dress. I've been stalling putting the the thing on for twenty minutes now. I'm just not ready yet. When I put it on, that's really when all this will be real. I'll really be getting married to Chrom, and Lissa will really be my sister-in-law. To put this wedding on an even higher pedestal, I'll become a ruler.
I run my hand down the breast of the dress, and it's silky and warm. My hand drags up and down the fabric several times until I'm lost in the sensation. Lissa giggles. She's used to these fine garments, and I must look silly.
My trance is broken when I hear voices from the hallway. They're male, and when they get closer I recognize them immediately. Lissa recognizes them too and gives me a warning look. She knows what I want to do.
"Please?" I just need to see him.
"Robin-", her voice was sharp. "You know it's bad luck for a bride to-" I was already walking to the door, and she exhaled a sharp gasp when I ignored her. The voices were a bit past the door already, I didn't have time for a lecture about tradition and superstition.
When I opened the door it felt like it might have came off the hinges. I only too a millisecond to think about it though, because the voices belonged to exactly who I thought. "Chrom!"
The exalt stopped for a moment before turning around. The knight beside him turned immediately. He probably had the same superstition locked into his head like Lissa, because his face mimicked that of a fish out of water.
"Robin?" Chrom crossed the small distance between us, and Frederick was still staring at me from behind. "Are you okay with me seeing you? Is everything okay?" Just like Chrom, jumping to the worst conclusions.
I force a giggle, just to let him know I'm fine without having to say it. He's more than okay with seeing me before the wedding. "It's okay! I'm not in my dress, and that's what really matters, right?"
"Right," his smile is so warm. I try to take it in as long as I can.
"Actually, Chrom," he reflexively takes my hands in his. It's like I was about to say something bad. Was I? "I'm rather nervous. I'm not sure I'll do this right. I mean, what if this turns out bad? What if I'm not meant to be in charge of a country? I mean- Chrom, I love you! I just- I'm not sure I'm right for this position." I didn't let our eyes have contact.
A hearty laugh elected from him, and I looked up to see his smile had somehow become warmer.
The butterflies were getting lighter and lighter.
"You," he began, making sure I was looking right at him, "are going to make a wonderful leader. I have no doubts, and neither should you." He kisses my hands. "You're a tactician, what could possible phase you about making big decisions?"
"It's just different- I'm not really sure." Chrom was right, I was the tactician for the Shepherds. I decided everything that happened on those battlefields. What was so scary about taking it a step further? I already had our comrade's lives in my hands.
"Think of it as a class change." Chrom laughed at his own joke.
"-To your wife?"
He laughs again, squeezing my hands tighter. "Why not? You're being promoted." He thought he was the king of jokes, because the laughs just kept rolling.
I gave the thought a second to sit in my head. It was an easier way to think of it, and I didn't want Chrom to think he was too funny, but it was rather silly. I don't have to force a giggle this time because it bursts from me without warning. Chrom looked relieved. "Okay, Chrom. Sounds wonderful! But, I still get to be your tactician." I cocked an eyebrow.
"Of course." He's leaning in to presumably touch his lips to my forehead when a booming cough sounds from behind him. We both jump. It's Frederick, I'd forgotten he was even there. I check to see if Lissa is standing in the doorway. She is, and she's doing a great job of pouting. She'll get over it.
"Come, Milord. I think we've done enough damage this morning." Ah, so Frederick was nervous about Chrom seeing me before we wedded. The knight takes Chrom's arm, tearing him away from my grasp.
Chrom is fumbling to catching his balance, but he waves a farewell to me before turning to leave.
From the doorway a soft, harsh sound produces from the princess. "I think it's time we got you in that dress." She was obviously upset about our setback, but I could still hear the bubbly attitude in her voice.
"Right!" Lissa paused herself for a second before grinning, and I was preparing for her signature squeal to come. Sure enough she took my arm, seizing me into the room, and electing a high pitched screech.
I'm ready for this.