Usual disclaimer: don't own the guys, wish I did, made purely for entertainment.
Mundane ordinary task we all must do...well in a Starsky world...what really is normal???
License Renewal
Starsky peered over the counter of the DMV's testing area watching the young attractive woman scan the written portion of driver's license renewal, a red grease pencil hovering in her hand. He cringed as another slash mark scarred the test sheet. The woman looked up briefly and Starsky smiled nervously back at her. Dipping her head back down to the paper, she hid the faint amused smile from the handsome man before her. She reached the end of the test then tallied up the marks while Starsky stood practically in a sweat. Six…he could only miss six.
She then smiled. "Congratulations, Mr. Starsky. You passed."
His whole face lit up like a child that had just come downstairs on Christmas morning, his smile reaching all the way up to the indigo blue eyes beneath the fan of dark lashes.
"Terrific!"
She handed him the test sheet. "Just take this over and wait in Line B to take the driving portion of your test."
As he took the sheet, he leaned into the counter. "Thanks…" he looked down at her name tag. "Judith Mackenzie."
The young woman felt her cheeks flush slightly as those deep blue eyes lifted from the name tag to her face.
"Not at all Mr. Starsky."
"It's Dave, actually."
He lingered at the counter.
"Is there something else I can do for you, Mr. Starsky?"
He brought his arm up and rested his cheek against the palm of his hand, continuing to stare into the hazel eyes, savoring the heart shaped face and little button nose with increasing interest. "Well…that depends on if there's a Miss or a Mrs in front of that name tag."
"It's Ms, actually."
"Oh, I see…one of those modern liberated mysterious women, huh?"
Judith couldn't help the small laugh.
His smile deepened. "Well, I'm going to guess Miss."
"Oh? And why is that?"
"Well you don't have a ring on your left hand, not even a tan line. And any man lucky enough to have already staked a prior claim would definitely have made sure you were branded, honey."
Judith couldn't help but laugh at the pick up line that was so bad it was actually cute.
"You're regular detective, aren't you, Mr. Starsky?"
"Actually. I am." He grinned back boyishly. "Detective First Class."
"Oh, really?" she replied doubtfully.
"Yeah, really. I got the little tin badgey thing and everything to prove it. Wanna see?"
Just then a rather stern looking man walked up behind Judith and cleared his throat.
Judith straightened up in her seat. "Mr. Starsky, if there's nothing else, you're sorta of holding up my line."
He looked back and saw several people impatiently waiting, staring at him.
"Oh, uh sorry." He flushed in embarrassment.
"If you'll just move over to Line B for your driving test."
The stern man continued to hover, his eyes narrowing over the half moon glasses.
"Oh, yeah, sure. Line B?"
She nodded, pointing. "It's just around the corner."
"Okay…Uh…Thanks."
Reluctantly he moved aside allowing the next customer to approach. But as he turned to walk away, he saw Judith glance up with a shy smile. Starsky grinned back, elated and started to walk away, only to collide into something solid.
He turned his head to see he'd bumped into a chest. A very wide, very large chest. He tipped his head slowly back until he could see the rather tall black man's face attached to it.
"Oh…excuse me," the brunet apologized.
Judith grinned and once again Starsky's face flushed slightly in embarrassment as the enormous man scowled down at him. Refusing to budge, Starsky was forced to edge around him, first from the right only to be blocked by a row of chairs occupied by several pairs of curious eyes staring at him, then finally squeezing passed him on the left between a beefy forearm and a pillar.
With some relief he found "Line B" and had to wait another thirty minutes before stepping up to the next counter. Here a pudgy man took his test, recheck his score then assigned him a number and was told to bring his car around to side of the building and park in slot "C" where an instructor would join him shortly for the driving portion of his test.
Starsky brought the Torino around, then checked his watch. It was nearly eleven. He was supposed to meet Hutch back at the precinct in an hour. He'd left his smirking partner typing up the daily reports while he went to get his driver's licensed renewed. It still goaded him he had not simply been allowed to renew his license in the mail, but had been notified he'd have to come in and take both the written and driving test all over.
His partner had found this particularly amusing considering the brunet's profound opinions to his driving abilities and hadn't missed the opportunity to tease him about it all morning when he'd found out what "appointment" his partner needed to sneak off to. He'd even offered to drive him over, but Starsky had blatantly refused, well aware of the jokes he'd have to listen to all the way over.
A short while later, a thin man opened the passenger door of the Torino and sat down with a clipboard in his hand. He had a long lean face and thick glasses and a surly set to his face.
"Good morning, Mr. Starky," The man replied, not bothering to look up as he scanned the sheet before him. "I am Mr. Higgins and I will be testing you on the driving portion of your exam today."
"It's Starsky."
The man looked up at him.
The brunet smiled. "Starsky with an 's'."
From a pocket protector in his shirt, the man withdrew a ball point pen and clicked it, then scribbled something on the clipboard.
"Yes," he replied dryly, his face devoid of any emotion whatsoever, making Starsky's smile falter just a little.
"Before we set out, I will need to check your registration and insurance cards to make sure they are up to date."
"Oh, uh…yeah…sure."
He dug his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans and looked through the contents panicking slightly when he couldn't find them before remembering he kept them in the glove compartment.
Reaching over, he opened the small compartment on the passenger side.
Sifting through the contents he said a bit nervously, "Uh, it's in here somewhere," unaware of Mr. Higgins eyes widening.
Suddenly a pair a tear gas containers landed in Mr. Higgins' lap, followed by a flare, extra cartridges and magazine clips for Starky's and Hutch's guns, a set of radios, a battered notebook, a flashlight, and a bottle of aspirin before the detective finally found the elusive cards with a triumphant, "Ah….Here they are!"
It was then he noticed Mr. Higgins' somewhat shocked expression. For a moment the brunet couldn't understand the look until he saw the collection of items piled in the man's lap.
"Oh, uh…sorry. Just a few work related items." Then seeing the man's eyes widen even more, quickly explained, "Uh…it's not what you think. I'm a cop. Plainclothes undercover detective," he clarified at the skeptical look thrown his way.
"In this?"
Starsky's brows to descend in an offended scowl and the image of Hutch's smirky face for an instant flashed through his mind. Quickly he replaced the items and closed the glove compartment.
The cards, Starsky noticed were stuck together by a melted cough drop and he had to take a few seconds to pry them apart while Mr. Higgins impatiently waited. The driving instructor took them by the edges with a look of disgust.
With the sticky cough drop now stuck to his fingers, Starsky shifted his weight uncomfortably in his seat. As the thin man leaned over to check off another box, the brunet quickly chucked it out the window.
Mr. Higgins looked up and Starsky smiled. The cards were handed back to him. "I hope you realize, Officer Starkly…"
"Starsky," the brunet corrected again.
"Yes, of course, Mr. Starsky. That just because you are an officer of the law, you should not expect any partiality on my part with regards to this test. I take my job very seriously and I go strictly by the book here."
"Of course," Starsky replied. Great. Terrific, the brunet thought I would have to get the 'Simonetti' of the DMV!
He could almost hear Hutch chuckling over his shoulder.
Mr. Higgins held up his clipboard, ball point pen poised. "Now Officer Starsky, please show me the proper hand signals for left, right and stop."
For an instant the brunet drew a complete blank, then with a rush of relief remembered and demonstrated.
Another box was check off.
Mr. Higgins then reached across his shoulder for the seat belt, dragging it across his chest and clicking it in place.
Starsky leaned forward to turn on the ignition, but before he could do so, he was met with a stern clearing of the throat.
"Uh…something wrong?"
"Aren't you forgetting something, Officer Starsky?"
"Uh…"
The instructor's brows descended into a deep frown.
It was then Starsky noticed Mr. Higgins had his seat belt on.
"Oh, yes, of course." Starsky blushed and quickly reached back, found his own belt and snapped it in place.
At once the strap felt uncomfortable across his chest and throat.
"You do wear your seat belt, don't you, especially in your line of work?" Mr. Higgins asked.
"Of course! Always. Safety first, you know," Starsky replied with a little chuckle.
He could almost feel his imaginary partner sitting in the back seat. HUH!
Starsky glared in the rearview mirror expecting to actually see the Blintz's mug blatantly laughing at him.
Shut up, he mumbled under his breath.
Mr. Higgins looked oddly at him. "Excuse me?"
"Nothing. Just clearing my throat. Bit smoggy out today."
"Hmmmm."
"Sorry, guess I'm just a little nervous."
"Nothing to be nervous about, Officer Starsky, I assure you."
Before starting the car, Starsky made a big ta-do about checking his mirrors and received another apparently satisfied check mark from Mr. Higgins. He then leaned forward to turn on the ignition but found the seat belt had suddenly locked and wouldn't allow him to move. He tugged the strap across his chest, but it still wouldn't budge.
Mr. Higgins watched him stoically.
Grinning awkwardly, he finally had to unclip it and re-apply it.
"Gets stuck every once in a while," Starsky explained.
"Hmmm," Mr. Higgins replied. He scribbled something on his clipboard, making Starsky frown.
"You may now proceed, Mr. Starsky. Please drive out of the parking lot and turn right. I will direct you from there."
"Yes, sir," Starsky replied, tightening his grip on the steering wheel nervously, suddenly feeling like a damn sixteen year old kid.
Inside his head he could see the smirky grin on Hutch's face and frowned in increasing annoyance.
Pulling out of the DMV parking lot, Starsky applied his signal indicators and made the required right hand turn. He drove at the prescribed speed limit and followed Mr. Higgins' instructions all the while watching out of the corner of one eye as he checked off the little boxes.
After about ten minutes, Starsky was beginning to sweat, before Mr. Higgins told him to make another right turn through a school zone and Starsky immediately reduced his speed. He was then instructed to make a U-turn and he could finally tell they were heading back towards the DMV to his great relief.
Then it happened. From a jewelry store on the corner just up ahead, a man ran out the door carrying a gun and a satchel and jumped into a waiting sedan.
As the car shot off into traffic, it cut a station wagon off, which in turn cut the Torino off causing Starsky to slam on the breaks. Mr. Higgins grunted as he was abruptly thrust forward.
Another man then stumbled out of the shop, holding his head and shouting, "Help! Help! Stop Theif! I've been robbed!"
Starsky's cop mode instantly kicked in. Mashing his foot on the gas petal, he whipped the Torino around the station wagon and accelerated after the sedan causing the startled instructor to be thrown in the other direction back against the seat.
Gripping the clipboard tightly, Mr. Higgins demanded. "M-Mr Starsky! Wh…what…on are you doing!"
"Hang on, Mr. Higgins, we need to make a little detour," Starsky replied flipping the siren on and grabbing the radio mike. "Zebra-Three. Zebra-Three, here."
"Roger, Zebra-Three. Dispatch, here."
"I'm in pursuit of two robbery suspects fleeing a jewelry store off Griswold and Durnan, heading North…suspects are in a light green sedan…armed…requesting assistance."
"Roger Zebra-Three. All units…all units…Zebra-Three requesting assistance…."
The Torino's muscle engine was soon closing the distance but upon hearing the siren, the sedan suddenly sped up and shot through a busy intersection. As the Torino followed through the red light, Mr. Higgins sucked in his breath and grabbed the dashboard as Starsky deftly swerved, missing a car in the cross flow of traffic.
The instructor looked incredulously over at him. "You…you…just ran right a red light!"
Starsky frowned. "Of course I ran a red light! I'm a cop in pursuit of a criminal, here."
"But you…you…almost hit that car!"
Starsky grinned. "Don't worry. That wasn't even close," the detective assured. With his attention focused on the sedan weaving erratically through traffic, the detective missed the instructor's shocked expression.
"Hey, Mr. Higgins. Do me a favor and reach under your seat and grab the mars for me."
Still gripping the dashboard in a white knuckled grip, the thin man stuttered. "Th...the what?"
"The mars....police flasher, just under your legs. To make us more visible to traffic."
"You must be joking!"
A car door suddenly opened in front of the Torino and Starsky had to swerve to miss clipping the door right off its hinges. Mr. Higgins cringed then nervously reached under the seat and fumbled around until he found the dome shaped object.
"This you mean?"
Starsky smiled. "Yeah. Just flick the switch and slap in on the roof, will ya?"
Wide eyed, Mr. Higgins shakily did as he was told while Starsky spoke into the mike giving the dispatcher more details on their pursuit plus the license plate number.
"Roger, Zebra-Three. Adam-Eighteen and Charlie-Four responding."
The sedan suddenly cut off another car then made a hard left and disappeared around a corner.
Starsky threw the radio mike into Mr. Higgins' lap so he execute the sharp turn. The Torino's tires screeched against the pavement as it attempted to maintain traction while Mr. Higgins braced his legs against the floorboard, eyes wide, terrified as a telephone pole and bus stop bench whizzed passed the passenger side window at a remarkably close distance.
"Damn, these guys are slick!" Starsky muttered to himself, feeling the rush of adrenaline.
The sedan took several more right and left turns as it attempted to loose the Torino, but Starsky was hot on their heels, downshifting through the turns and accelerating on the straight aways.
When the sedan realized it couldn't shake him, the driver changed tactics and deliberately swerved hitting several metal trash cans set out on the street.
Starsky deftly avoided the first projectile that bounced back down. The second clipped the edge of the Torino's right fender and Starsky cursed.
"Damn, Merle just fixed that fender!"
A muffled exclamation caught Starsky's attention and when he glanced over saw Mr. Higgins vainly trying to remove a section of newspaper plastered to his face that had been sucked into the car as the Torino drove through the debris.
He cringed. He'd completely forgotten about the poor man for a minute.
Reaching over, he grabbed the newspaper plucking it off his face.
Glasses askew on the bridge of his nose, Mr. Higgins gasped for a breath of fresh air.
"Uh…You okay?" Starsky asked nervously still trying to keep one eye on the road.
Mr. Higgins had little chance to reply though as a bullet suddenly ricocheted off the hood of the Torino from the passenger side of the sedan.
Starsky shoved the terrified instructor down in his seat before dropping back and swerving right and then left to avoid the pot shots.
Needing to update his back up on their location but also needing both hands on the wheel and as the sedan turned back onto a busy street and increased its erratic weaving through traffic, Starsky shoved the radio mike into Mr. Higgins' hand.
"What…what…I'm supposed to do with this?" the terrified man asked.
Starsky negotiated another hair pin maneuver between a delivery truck and a Volkswagen bug. "Just push the damn button and hold it up straight."
Still crouched down in his seat, Mr. Higgins did as he was told.
Starsky shouted into the mike. "Zebra-Three, Zebra-Three. Suspects now heading North on Beacon Ave. towards Clayton. Shots fired." He then directed Mr. Higgins to release his thumb off the mike.
"Roger, Zebra-Three. Adam-Eighteen, approaching Clayton, ETA, one minute."
As the sedan approached Clayton, the black and white appeared. The suspect's car swung wide attempting a left turn, but the Torino, close on its tail, accelerated, effectively cutting the sedan off and forcing it into a fishtail instead. The sedan jumped a curb and crashed into a mail box.
Mr. Higgins gripped the leather seat and plastered his other hand against the roof of the Torino as the car skidded to a halt.
After fighting briefly to release the damn seatbelt, Starsky was out of the Torino. The two uniformed police officers in the black and white had already decended on the suspect in the driver's seat, but the one in the passenger seat had managed to scramble out of the car and took off.
Starsky was right on his heels, however. He caught the fleeing man by the back of his shirt. The suspect turned with the gun still in his hand and attempted to fire, but the brunet spun him about in a full circle as if he were a disk, increasing the momentum until he finally let go. The suspect sailed across the pavement until his body impacted against the side of the Torino.
He then tried to scramble over the hood to escape, but Starsky was already on top of him.
Inside the Torino, a shocked Mr. Higgins found himself staring up into the squished face of the suspect plastered against the windshield with the brown haired detective pinning him down on top of the hood, one knee pressed into the middle of the man's back while his hand gripped the suspect's wrist trying to force the gun out of it.
"Drop it now and say Uncle!" Starsky demanded.
The distorted face still pressed up against the window muttered something which was apparently a surrender because the next thing Mr. Higgins saw was the detective yanking the man off the hood, cuffing him and leading him over to the black and white.
"Don't go anywhere, boys. I'll be right back," Starsky said a bit breathlessly.
The detective walked over to the sedan and pulled out the satchel and opened it. It was full of diamond necklaces, rings, and expensive watches.
"Nice bust, Starsky," one of the uniformed officers said.
The brunet smiled. "All in a day's work."
The two suspects, now handcuffed and leaning against the squad car glared at the detective with eyes that could kill.
"Take care of these gentlemen for me, will ya? I'll met ya back at the station."
The two uniformed officers nodded and took the suspects into custody.
Starsky, rather pleased with himself over the bust straightened his leather jacket out and turned back towards the Torino. It was then he remembered the driving instructor he left in the car.
With a nervous little grin, Starsky approached the Torino. Slowly he peered through the driver's side window. The thin man still huddled in the passenger seat, glasses askew, clutching his clipboard, his uh…hair…now resting at an odd angle on the side of his head exposing a bald head…had a shell shocked look plastered across his pale face.
"Uh…Mr. Higgins? You okay?" he asked tentatively.
The man's head turned ever soooo slowly and looked at the dark haired detective.
Starsky cringed as he uncomfortably eased himself into the driver's seat.
"Ummm…why don't I ummm…just drive us back to the DMV now 'kay?"
Mr. Higgins said not word but just continued to stare.
"O-kay…yeah…good plan," Starsky said to himself wondering how he was going to possibly explain this one to Dobey.
Pulling up to the curb outside the DMV office, he turned to Mr. Higgins who was trying to regain his composure.
"Your hair is uh…a little lopsided," Starsky said in an attempt to help.
Mr. Higgins reached up and embarrassingly tried to straighten the toupee, but managed to put it back on backwards.
Starsky cringed but decided it best not to mention it. Instead he handed the instructor his ballpoint pen.
Mr. Higgins slowly, shakily got out of the Tornio with his clipboard tightly in his hand and started walking without a word back into the office.
Starsky stared at his retreating back before a thought suddenly crossed him. "Hey, Mr. Higgins? Did I pass my test?"
………
Two months later…..
……
The Torino pulled up in front of the DMV office. Starsky hopped out of the driver's seat while Hutch reluctantly crawled out the passenger side.
"You didn't have to drive me down here, you know," Hutch muttered.
"Hey, I'm not the one that let my driver's license expire."
"I already told you. I couldn't help it! I had the flu for Christ sakes! Then we got busy on the Moreno case and I forgot about it."
"Don't matter. Fact is you can't drive with an expired license and Dobey gave you strict orders to make sure you get it today or ELSE." Starsky grinned wickedly.
Hutch threw his partner a sour look. "You don't have to get so much damn enjoyment out if it though."
"After all the ribbing I had to take from you and the guys in the squad room after I failed my driving test, not to mention the humiliation of having to come back down here and re-take it? Oh, no! I think I'm entitled to a little payback!" Starsky grinned. "Besides, I don't care what that Higgins guy said. I'm a damn good driver. I didn't hit a single thing during that whole chase and caught the bad guys on top of it!"
"Except the trash can."
"That wasn't my fault. Technically I didn't hit it. It landed on my car."
"Yadda, yadda, yadda!" Hutch muttered. "And speaking of cars, good buddy, tell me why I can't use my own car."
"That crap heap? For starters it's got no working rear lights and barely any brakes, not to mention that it's a complete embarrassment."
"Embarrassment! If anything is an embarrassment it's that stupid striped tomato I'm forced to put up with!"
"Quit insulting my wheels unless you want to take your driving test on a pogo stick!"
Hutch grumbled.
Starsky opened the door to the DMV office and practically pushed his partner inside with an air of both excitement and impatience. "Now look, I had to pull quite a few strings to get you in here on such short notice. Dobey's already threatened to pull you off this new case and put you on a walking beat at the Convention Center this weekend unless you come back with your driver's license, so just be a good little Blondie and go take your test."
"And what are you going to do while I'm doing that?"
Starsky's mouth split into a white smile. "Oh…don't worry, pal. I think I can entertain myself quite nicely."
The brunet waved across the crowded room and from behind one of the counters a very attractive young woman smiled and nodded her head.
A few minutes later she joined them.
"This is Miss Judith McKenzie," Starsky introduced her to his somewhat surprised partner.
"Nice to meet you," Judith replied. "Your partner explained your situation and I was able to convince my supervisor to help you out. Luckily we have one slot left to take the driving test before we close for the three day weekend."
"Thanks, I really appreciate this."
After successfully completing the written part of the driving test, Hutch pulled the Torino to the side of the DMV and sat on the hood waiting for the instructor.
Despite the embarrassment of having to take his test in the tomato, Dobey's alternative was a far less appealing, especially when he found out the Convention Center would be hosting an Orthodontic and Dental Exposition. The new case they were going to start the next morning involved a jewelry theft ring and the prime suspects were supposedly linked with contestants in the Miss Sunnyvale Beauty Pageant participating in a rally race that weekend. He and Starsky were supposed to go undercover as drivers in the rally.
Hutch smiled. It would be a tough three day assignment having to interrogate forty beautiful women but he was sure they could handle it.
A few minutes later a thin, somewhat nervous looking man in thick glasses emerged from a side door.
Hutch jumped off the hood with a warm friendly smile, extending his hand, but as soon as the man saw the red and white striped Torino, he froze.
The man looked at Hutch then back at the car and backed away, hugging the wall as he went and shaking his head.
"Oh-no! Oh-no! Not in a million years!"
He then took off down the street, leaving Hutch standing scratching his head utterly baffled.
Starksy struted up behind him, shoving what looked like was left of a jelly into his mouth. "All done, buddy?"
"The guy just took off on me."
"Who?"
Hutch pointed to the man hurrying down the street.
The brunet cocked his head to the side. "Hey. Isn't that Mr. Higgins?"
Hutch looked slowly over at his partner, the blonde brows descending. "Mr. Higgins?"
"Yeah, my driving instru…" Starsky's replied, then his own eyes widened. "Oh…." His mouth suddenly clamped shut.
"Oh is right!"
The blonde started advancing on his partner.
"Now, Hutch…." Starsky nervously started backing up.
The Hutchinson finger came out jabbing painfully into his partner's chest. "Take the Torino, Hutch, it will be fine…," he quoted words the brunet had spoken to him earlier in the squad room. "You'll be in and out of there in no time!"
Starsky continued to back up, edging around the red and white striped car. "Now, now, now…Hutch…let's just be calm about this…"
"Calm? You want me to be calm?"
"Well…now…let's um…try and look at a bright side here…"
The veins on Hutch's forehead suddenly bulged. "Bright side? I'm going to miss the best assignment we've had in six months for a Dental Convention and there's a bright side to this????"
Starsky held his hands defensively in front of him, expanding the distance between himself and his partner.
"Well…hey now…uh…you're always spouting off to me about good dental hygiene…" the brunet tried to laugh. "I'm sure you'll be able to pick up all the free dental floss you need this weekend?"
"I GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!"
THE END