Jaina Solo was in a complete daze as she sat in the co-pilots chair on the Firebird. She had been sent on a mission with General Wedge Antilles after a harrowing accident during a previous mission that almost took her life. She had been pressed to take this mission by her commanders because the didn't want her to end up falling out of commission, but they were also very aware of the fact that she was not ready to be put back into any major combat situation.

Wedge noticed her wistful stare out of the cockpit window, but said nothing. As far as he knew, she was in some Jedi trance that he would never understand. His own commanders actually kept the true reasoning behind why Jaina was so out of it, and he didn't question their judgment on sending her along on a mission with him. Aside from that, they were family friends, and he saw no reason why she wasn't a good choice for a partner.

It wasn't much of a mission they were on anyway; it was more of a diplomatic vacation. To Wedge, it was a blessing after the stressful divorce he and his now ex-wife had put themselves through. He and the Jedi Knight were headed to Talis to speak to possibly recruits about entering the flight academy. To the higher commanders, it gave Jaina time to rest while not loosing her sense of her role as a Colonel as well as Wedge a change to get out from behind the computer screen in the control rooms and back out into the skies.

"Strap yourself in, we're just about into the atmosphere…I'd also like you to prep the computer for manual flight and cool down," Wedge snapped her out of it with his soft, yet powerful voice.

Jaina glanced wordlessly at him for a moment, then fastened herself into her chair. Her fingers moved deftly over the control panel in front of her as Wedge leaned forward and took control of the helm. He felt the ship shudder as they hit the atmosphere, and Jaina was surprised to see him struggle slightly with the controls of the ship. They had a safe yet hard landing, and Jaina couldn't help the look of incredulousness that passed over her face when he finally set the ship down.

"It's been quite some time since I've flown a ship of this size, much less at all…" he excused himself, a slight smile turning up the corner of his lips.

Jaina chuckled softly, "If you don't need me, I'm going to head into the back quarters and meditate for a little while."

"Absolutely, we don't have any meetings until tomorrow afternoon, I'm just going to make sure everything is cleared and settled with our hosts as soon as I'm done converting to ground power."

Jaina nodded and left the cockpit. Wedge watched after her. She had been quiet since they had left, but he mostly attributed that to the fact that Jaina had indeed changed exponentially in her early adult years. She had grown up very quickly in her 23 years, and even though he was a little nearly four decades older than her, he in some ways felt that her maturity sometimes surpassed his own.

Wedge strolled out of the cockpit and down the ramp. He was met by several docking officers whom he began to speak about the duration of their stay in terms of where the ship was going to be docked.

Inside the Firebird,Jaina sat cross-legged on the bed in the small room that was designated as the ship's sleeping quarters. Her eyes were closed, her breathing steady. For several minutes, her mediation went smoothly, and she felt the all too brief touch of serenity that this exercise gave her. Suddenly, she felt darkness surround her and the nightmares of past events flooded into her being.

She was helping her father with tune ups on the Millennium Falcon during a routine stop during a run for Lando. Han was inside, checking the main power grid, while Jaina was patching up some minor damage to the ship's hull. She had felt a disturbance in the force, and was almost aware as a group of assailants came upon her, brandishing blasters and electrode rods.

Jaina fought diligently as usual, confident that she would have no problem taking care of these foolish men. Her father, hearing the sounds of blaster fire outside the ship, came out brandishing his own, and joined in the fight. They took out the greater amount in minutes, and Jaina was soon able to focus her energy on one with an electrode rod. He was fairly skilled, and as metal met light, she didn't notice a fallen assailant's blaster on the ground. A momentary lapse in her skills cost her quite an advantage as she tripped over it and sent it skittering across the floor.

As it hit against a packing crate, the blaster let off one round that caught her, after the daze of hitting the ground, square in the center of her lower stomach. Jaina reeled to the ground in pain, and as the final assailant stood over her to give a final blow with his electrode rod, Han let him have it right between the eyes.

Jaina was overwhelmed with pain as the electricity from the blaster bolt ripped through her body. The blaster must have had some kind of illegal modifications, because she knew that this pain was not from any normal blaster. She blacked out from the pain, and the next recollection she had was waking up in the infirmary on the gigantic battle cruiser Hailstorm, which her parents had been stationed on as the Falcon was constantly being repaired and rebuilt.

That was when the medical droid told her the horrible news. The intensity of the blaster bolt had nearly fried her insides. Her vital organs had been able to be saved, but her reproductive organs had suffered irrevocable damage. When the realization of this hit Jaina, she found her self moments away from spinning towards the dark side again. She wailed and screamed in disbelief, nearly destroying the medical droid. An entire team had to be brought in the hold her down and tranquilize her.

After all the pain and strife she had been through in the past decade of her life, Jaina was ready and willing to live a normal, peaceful life under her own jurisdiction, not that of the Galactic Alliance or the Academy or any other kind of political group. Now this was being torn away from her and forcing her back once again into the lonely solitude that she had been thrust into almost all her life.

In her physical state, Jaina began to first groan softly, then her body seemed to lose all control and she flopped over on the bed, screaming and convulsing, the memories taking control of her meditation and body. Outside the ship, Wedge just barely heard the sounds of her screaming and quickly excused himself from the docking officials. He sprinted inside the ship, growing deeply concerned as he could hear her screams getting louder and louder.

Wedge rushed into the back quarters, coming to her and gripping her shoulders. He held her as she trashed about in his grasp, yelling and shaking. He repeated her name to her several times, begging her to come out of the trance that she was caught in. Her screams began to die down, and she beat her hands against his chest as she came back into herself, hot tears streaming down her cheeks and she began sobbing.

When he had finally gotten her calmed down enough to speak, tears still ran down her cheeks and she sniffled uncontrollably. Wedge quickly headed back to the cockpit to grab her water canteen and brought it back to her. She took it and gulped down about half the entire thing. Finally she caught her breath, and she reiterated the entire story to him, finding herself becoming choked up more than once. Wedge sat with her on the bed, listening intently, but in his eyes she could see the disbelief in the words she was telling him.

"That's horrible…Jaina, I'm sorry," he said softly.

"Yeah…and it's like, I've spent so much of my time working to help and save other people lives, never having a moment to really have my own. I wanted to have a future, something to actually give my life to that I actually cared about," she coughed out, "My family has seen so much pain in the last decade, we've lost so much…it scary."

Wedge slid a comforting arm around her back, "I don't think you have to be afraid. You're powerful, you're strong, and most of all you're a survivor…"

"But what do I keep surviving for? I have no future. Nothing to look forward to. Everyone in my life just always disappears as time goes on. All I have is now…this moment…and I don't even feel like I'm really living."

He didn't know if it was just her force powers that were rubbing off her pain on him, but Wedge could feel the heartbreak he was feeling in his own chest. He sighed gently, his entire body felt heavier from the emotion that was being passed between them, "You have control of that, Jaina; you say you want to feel like you're living? Do something about it. You feel like your life is dragging you down? Take control of it. No one but you is going to be able to make that call. So live."

Brown eyes met green with some otherworldly connection. Wedge was nearly knocked off the bed by the force of Jaina's lips against his. It felt as if his entire body had just awakened from a long slumber. The actuality of the situation hit him only when he felt her arms around his neck, and his own encircling her back, holding her close against him. He released the connection as quickly as it had come, pushing her back. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm, and opened his eyes to see Jaina doing the exact same thing.

"Blasters, Jaina, I'm old enough to be your father…" Even grandfather, he thought, but didn't dare to speak. Being a Rogue Squadron leader for as many years as he had left him looking much younger than most men his age, his sense of adventure and excitement had kept him fresh.

"I'm sorry," Jaina almost whispered. She looked away to the cold metal floor of the ship. Wedge had to close his eyes again. The more he looked at her, the more he had this unnaturally warm feeling growing in his chest. He opened his eyes when he felt movement, and wasn't quick enough to call out to her before she headed into the refresher unit that was attached to the room.

Wedge sighed, standing and rubbing his face. The repercussions for anyone finding out what had just happened between them could be lethal. Luke, Han, Leia, they had all been friends for longer than he could even count back anymore. Jaina, though not a child anymore, was the daughter of a man who was nearly as old as he. A man that would not take kindly to knowing that there was any kind of contact between Jaina and he other than military dialogue.

He walked to the cockpit of the ship, checking a final readout on the ships system, making sure that it was shutting down the systems that would not be necessary during their duration of the mission. He kept the comm-link open, waiting for word from the docking officials that their lift had arrived to take the two to the grand chambers where they would be staying.

Wedge stared out of the cockpit, his insides tearing in two different directions. The connection that had arisen between he and Jaina still lingered in his mind, and it was changing something about him. This feeling of pure aliveness was coursing through his veins. He was surprised to find himself getting out of his seat and walking once again to the back quarters. He walked to the 'fresher unit and overrode the locking code. The door slid open and he came in.

Behind the shaded glass panel of the shower, he could see Jaina turn forward.

"Who…?"

Her question was answered as Wedge pushed the panel open. For a moment they both stood just staring at one another, the expression on Jaina's face a wall of confusion. Wedge rushed forward, the water from the shower cascading down his grey flight suit as he took her in his arms and kissed her passionately.

"Your flight suit…" she said breathlessly when their lips parted.

"I don't care," as he spoke he unzipped the front of the jacket.

Jaina kissed him again, and he lifted her off her feet, ignoring the still running shower as he moved them back out into the sleeping quarters, gently resting her down on the bed. Their lips only came apart for the moment it took him to completely remove his flight suit, boots, and underuni.

In the next hours, the initial connection that had spurred from the first kiss strengthened exponentially. The advice he had given her had drastically turned tables, his mind and body coursed with the feelings he had been experiencing in the cockpit when he was alone. It was all melting into a huge blur, but a powerful one.

As they lay together, Jaina nestled between his arm and his chest, kissing his neck, Wedge once again was brought back the reprocussional thoughts that years as a tactical expert had cursed him with. He threw those thoughts to the wind as they flashed through his mind, and he closed his eyes, reminding himself that in this given situation, when it came down to it, nothing bad could actually happen.