The world hasn't crashed down. People still walk around and breathe and live like nothing happened. The clock still ticks. The days still pass. The world didn't crash down. It just feels like it.
"Mini's ignoring my texts" Alo says.
Rich watches his face intently and wonders how any of that can matter now. How can Alo worry over Mini? Mini, who is bitchy and mean, inside her bedroom across town. Mini, who's alive. But he doesn't say anything because Alo's world hasn't crashed down. Only Rich's has.
…
"What are you going to do next year?" his mother asks.
He doesn't answer. He can't even think what he's going to do tomorrow.
"Are you applying to uni?" she asks.
"I don't know."
He traces the table and hates it and hates everyone. How can they ask of him to know these things when all he can focus on is breathing?
…
"Get drunk" Nick suggests.
"Tried it."
"Get high."
"Tried it."
"Didn't it work?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I see her and believe that she's here and then I get sober and have to face her dying all over again."
Nick doesn't give anymore tips. He just goes quiet just like they all do when Rich infects them with grief.
…
He imagines her everywhere. How would this evening be if she was here? When Mini and Alo fight in the pub, he can almost hear her ordering everyone to play Pictionary with her. To clear the air. Now, no one does and the fight goes on for hours. They all fight more now. Except Rich. He doesn't have the strength to do anything anymore.
…
He fingers the rings they almost got married with. It wouldn't have mattered in the end. They would only have gotten a few months as a married couple anyway. And he almost smiles at the thought of how distraught he had been by the thought that she was going back to boarding school. At least at boarding school, she would have been alive.
…
"Hi" the girl smiles. "Who are you?"
"No one" he tells her.
Not in that mysterious way, just a truthful way. He's no one she should be talking to.
"I'm Kelly" she smiles.
"Okay."
"Why are you so sad?"
"My girlfriend died."
Her face twists from flirty to surprise to feign concern.
"Poor baby" she whispers and extents her hand to pat his cheek.
He gets up and leaves.
…
"Mini's pregnant" Alo says.
His world has crashed too now. Maybe Rich should be happy about that, but he isn't.
"Fuck" Rich replies because he knows that nothing can be said when your world has crashed.
"I'm not cut out to be a dad."
Rich bites his lip and thinks how he would trade with Alo without a thought. To have Grace back, pregnant. He wouldn't care. He would have her.
"Would you rather wish she was dead?" he asks.
Alo frowns.
"No."
"Okay then."
In the end, Alo goes to Mini and steps up. Rich secretly takes credit for it.
…
They all move on. Mini grows rounder and Alo more in love. Franky is more fucked up than usual. The clock still ticks. The days still pass. No one understands. Except, maybe one.
"I've been waiting for you" Rich says.
David Blood looks up from Grace's headstone.
"I've been avoiding you" he replies.
"I know."
They stand together and stare at the rock with her name on it.
"Things will never be normal again, will they?" Rich asks.
"No."
"For other people it will, but not for us."
"No."
He nods.
"The world has crashed" he says.
David Blood almost smiles.
"Feels like it, doesn't it?"
…