Spoilers: season nine—'Take it Like a Man' in particular
Note: This is my idea for why Sturgis was in such a bad mood for the beginning of season nine and why some of that was taken out on Mac. After the ambiguous 'he hurt someone I love' ending to 'Take It Like a Man,' I felt the need to bash Mac a little—she better have been talking about Harm!
Disclaimer: Harm, Mac, etc. are not mine, so don't sue me because I have an imagination and too much free time.
Written 28 February 2004
******
0935 EST JAG Headquarters Falls Church, Virginia
For the first time in a while, Sturgis Turner realized that he was truly happy. And Varese was the instigator of that happiness. She had brought joy to his life that he'd never experienced before, and she encouraged him to repair those relationships damaged while he was in his funk.
Small gestures, baby steps, whatever you wanted to call them, relations were definitely improving with his co-workers.
He had been the hardest on Lieutenant Roberts since his courtroom fumble had been an instigator of Sturgis' crisis of faith. The junior officer's lost snake could have put a serious damper on the détente between the two, but fortunately he could already look back on the incident and laugh at the look on Roberts' face when he found the trash can duct taped shut. He likewise had improved his relationship with Roberts' wife when he had visited her to offer his support when her elder son was missing.
Things with Harm were fine, but had definitely changed now that his old buddy's life revolved around taking care of a teenager. But Sturgis was fine with that, and he was glad that his friend had found someone who could bring some happiness to his life after everything he'd been through in the past year.
The admiral was just happy that Sturgis was finally out of his self- inflicted pity party. Things were getting back to normal at JAG with all of the key players where they belonged and on workable terms with each other, with one exception.
"Commander, I'd like you and Colonel MacKenzie to work together on this investigation," Chegwidden said, pushing the file across his desk.
The Marine colonel picked up the folder when Sturgis made no move to take it himself. Instead, he hesitantly ventured, "Sir, I respectfully request that I be removed from this investigation."
Admiral Chegwidden looked up at him in annoyance. "For what reason?"
"Uh, it's personal," Turner quietly replied, trying to ignore the fact that both the admiral and the colonel were staring at him now. He knew he couldn't comfortably work with Mac until he had worked some things out for himself, but he was at a loss as to how to articulate that he couldn't reconcile with her just yet.
Chegwidden pulled off his reading glassed to glare more effectively at his officer. "Do these personal reasons interfere with your ability to investigate this matter to the best of your ability?"
"Possibly." Chegwidden's hard look demanded more than a one-word answer, to which Sturgis sighed inwardly. He risked a quick glance at Mac, who was trying to appear indifferent as she flipped through the manila folder. "Permission to speak in private?"
"Denied," the two-star yelled as he rose from his chair. He came around to the front of his desk and got in the commander's face. "I don't really care what your personal reasons are unless they have anything to do with the case itself. Do they?"
"I would have to say no," Sturgis admitted.
"Then your request to be removed from the case is denied."
"Yes, sir."
"And do your best to resolve these 'personal' reasons before you leave on this investigation."
Sturgis' face twitched, but he couldn't guarantee his CO that he would be able to do that, so he kept his mouth shut while the older man stared him down from less than a foot away.
The senior officer soon gave up on getting his stubborn subordinate to make him any promises. Rather than extend the argument, he bit off an irritated, "Dismissed," as he spun on his heel to return to his seat.
"Aye, aye, sir," both he and Mac automatically replied, coming to attention before filing out of the office. As soon as they were out of earshot of Petty Officer Coates, Mac turned to block his way. He stopped and impassively waited for the confrontation to begin.
"Commander, could I see you in my office for a minute?" It was more of an order than a request from the Chief-of-Staff.
Obligingly, he followed her back to her office, where she immediately closed the front blinds to veil the scene from curious onlookers in the bullpen. He shut the door behind him two seconds before she wheeled on the former submariner. "What exactly is your problem with me?"
"I do believe that has been asked and answered, Colonel."
Her voice was dripping frostily as she reminded him, "You said that I was a sanctimonious prig, but you never gave any explanation for why I deserve that label."
"The reasons are personal," he said emotionlessly staring through her.
"And those reasons just pissed off the admiral!" she yelled in his face. "If we're going to be working together on this assignment, and quite conceivably again in the future, I think we should clear things up here and now."
Sturgis said nothing, choosing instead to stare at the poster of the baby seal on the wall just beyond Mac's head. His lack of response only served to further incite her.
"What the hell is your problem? Everyone knew you went through some sort of mid-life crisis when you were brushing off virtually all human contact, but you seem to be doing fine now. Fine, that is, with everyone else in this office except for me," she had tried not to let on before that it upset her that he could make his peace with everyone else, but almost completely ignore her existence. "What did I ever do to you that would cause you to hold a grudge?"
"You want a little insight, Colonel? Let me lead you toward some. What makes you so sure that this is all about you and me?"
She stopped short. "If it's not just about you and me, who else is it about?" Even as she asked the question, a sudden realization hit the pit of her stomach as to where this was leading.
Turner gave her a self-satisfied smirk as he saw comprehension beginning to dawn. "I think you know."
She gave him a nasty look. "Let's leave Harm out of this. Those issues are for me and him to work out by ourselves, and I don't see any relevance as to why they are affecting a working relationship between you and me."
He refocused on the poster, and said in a detached voice, "You're just like the rest of them."
She gripped the back of her chair in frustration as she asked the question, "The rest of who?"
"Women."
Mac gaped at him incredulously. "So this is all a gender thing?"
"You could say it's more of a result of the way you treat the opposite sex."
"Excuse me?" she was taken aback.
He pierced her with a contemptuous glare. "You once told me you were in love with Harm, yet from what little I've been able to get out of him, you broke his heart and then immediately moved on to someone else."
"You're missing a lot of information in that summary, but as I said earlier, I still don't see why that is affecting our professional relationship," she said frostily as she moved back to stand in front of him. "Harm and I are managing just fine, and you were told from the beginning not to interfere when it comes to the two of us."
"I'm not interfering, just observing."
"Then why are we even talking about it?" she threw up her hands. "I don't see what this has to do with anything."
"Colonel, let me draw some comparisons for you that may start the wheels turning," he offered coolly. "A man risks just about everything for a woman who supposedly loves him. She rejects him and makes sure he is painfully aware that she is over him."
"I am not shoving my relationship with Clay in Harm's face," she answered defensively. "And once again, I'm back to what does this have to do with your problem with me."
"Remember that I said this isn't all about you. There is one more player in this whole thing that you haven't even considered."
She was ready to smack him for all the grief he was giving her, but knew that she needed to set a good example as the chief-of-staff and try to talk this out before she could resort to a nice right hook. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she asked, "Are you going to stop speaking in riddles and just tell me what the problem is? Quite frankly, you're talking in circles, and it's giving me a headache."
Sturgis reached into his coat and pulled out his wallet. Mac watched curiously as he pulled something out and handed it to her.
"An engagement ring?" she said in confusion as she examined the shiny white gold band she was holding.
Without a word, he took the ring back and returned it to its place.
"But you and Varese have only been dating..."
She still didn't get it, Sturgis realized as he shook his head condescendingly. "You're pretty slow at catching on for a lawyer. I bought this before I met Varese."
That was the moment that it finally clicked.
"Bobbie?"
"Give the colonel a medal. She finally got it," he didn't try to hide his sarcasm.
Not knowing what else to say, she tried, "I'm sorry."
"Too late for that. What's done cannot be undone," he said bitterly. "You see, after Paraguay, Harm and I got together over quite a few beers and started bashing the opposite sex for all the trouble they'd caused us. I was amazed by the similarities between the general theme our stories. You could say that my rejected proposal was the proverbial last straw for me, added to Lieutenant Roberts' botched defense when I was up for incompetent council. How can you trust other people when all they do is let you and the people around you down?"
She processed his words and slowly articulated, "So you don't want to work with me because I let your friend down, even if he's come to terms with it?"
"Harm gave up a lot more than I did, and I still can't figure out how he can be more forgiving. Maybe it's because everyone knew what he'd done and could try to sympathize. I chose to keep my failure to myself, so I had no support group. That was my choice. But it still brings us to the same end—I can't trust you right now, Mac."
He'd called her 'Mac' rather than 'Colonel,' which she considered that a step in the right direction.
"It's not fair that you're taking what another woman did to you out on me," she said reasonably, deciding to try to talk them onto even enough footing that they could at least make it through their assignment together. "Harm and I are not you and Bobbie. For the record, we have never been a couple, and he definitely has never proposed marriage. Nothing says that I ever stopped loving him. I just told him that things would never be able to work out between us."
"Funny, that's the same thing Bobbie told me," Turner replied cynically.
She sighed in exasperation, switching tactics. "Knowing what you do now, do you wish Bobbie's answer had been different then?"
An image of Varese instantly came to mind. "I suppose not."
She let a few reflective minutes pass before she asked another question. "Can we work together?"
He studied her and thought about the question. "I don't know, but I suppose we're going to find out."
"Okay," she smiled out of relief that he hadn't answered negatively. That would have made things around the office a lot more difficult until they were finished with this case. "I'll look over the file and get it to you before the end of the day."
Taking that as his cue that he was free to go, Sturgis stopped with his hand on the doorknob. "One thing before I go, Colonel. What I told you about how my relationship with Bobbie ended isn't exactly common knowledge. If I get wind of it in the office gossip mill, the secret I've been guarding for you will become part of the same, especially since you admitted that you still love him." Without further ado, he slipped out of her office, leaving a slightly bemused Marine lieutenant colonel in his wake.
Note: This is my idea for why Sturgis was in such a bad mood for the beginning of season nine and why some of that was taken out on Mac. After the ambiguous 'he hurt someone I love' ending to 'Take It Like a Man,' I felt the need to bash Mac a little—she better have been talking about Harm!
Disclaimer: Harm, Mac, etc. are not mine, so don't sue me because I have an imagination and too much free time.
Written 28 February 2004
******
0935 EST JAG Headquarters Falls Church, Virginia
For the first time in a while, Sturgis Turner realized that he was truly happy. And Varese was the instigator of that happiness. She had brought joy to his life that he'd never experienced before, and she encouraged him to repair those relationships damaged while he was in his funk.
Small gestures, baby steps, whatever you wanted to call them, relations were definitely improving with his co-workers.
He had been the hardest on Lieutenant Roberts since his courtroom fumble had been an instigator of Sturgis' crisis of faith. The junior officer's lost snake could have put a serious damper on the détente between the two, but fortunately he could already look back on the incident and laugh at the look on Roberts' face when he found the trash can duct taped shut. He likewise had improved his relationship with Roberts' wife when he had visited her to offer his support when her elder son was missing.
Things with Harm were fine, but had definitely changed now that his old buddy's life revolved around taking care of a teenager. But Sturgis was fine with that, and he was glad that his friend had found someone who could bring some happiness to his life after everything he'd been through in the past year.
The admiral was just happy that Sturgis was finally out of his self- inflicted pity party. Things were getting back to normal at JAG with all of the key players where they belonged and on workable terms with each other, with one exception.
"Commander, I'd like you and Colonel MacKenzie to work together on this investigation," Chegwidden said, pushing the file across his desk.
The Marine colonel picked up the folder when Sturgis made no move to take it himself. Instead, he hesitantly ventured, "Sir, I respectfully request that I be removed from this investigation."
Admiral Chegwidden looked up at him in annoyance. "For what reason?"
"Uh, it's personal," Turner quietly replied, trying to ignore the fact that both the admiral and the colonel were staring at him now. He knew he couldn't comfortably work with Mac until he had worked some things out for himself, but he was at a loss as to how to articulate that he couldn't reconcile with her just yet.
Chegwidden pulled off his reading glassed to glare more effectively at his officer. "Do these personal reasons interfere with your ability to investigate this matter to the best of your ability?"
"Possibly." Chegwidden's hard look demanded more than a one-word answer, to which Sturgis sighed inwardly. He risked a quick glance at Mac, who was trying to appear indifferent as she flipped through the manila folder. "Permission to speak in private?"
"Denied," the two-star yelled as he rose from his chair. He came around to the front of his desk and got in the commander's face. "I don't really care what your personal reasons are unless they have anything to do with the case itself. Do they?"
"I would have to say no," Sturgis admitted.
"Then your request to be removed from the case is denied."
"Yes, sir."
"And do your best to resolve these 'personal' reasons before you leave on this investigation."
Sturgis' face twitched, but he couldn't guarantee his CO that he would be able to do that, so he kept his mouth shut while the older man stared him down from less than a foot away.
The senior officer soon gave up on getting his stubborn subordinate to make him any promises. Rather than extend the argument, he bit off an irritated, "Dismissed," as he spun on his heel to return to his seat.
"Aye, aye, sir," both he and Mac automatically replied, coming to attention before filing out of the office. As soon as they were out of earshot of Petty Officer Coates, Mac turned to block his way. He stopped and impassively waited for the confrontation to begin.
"Commander, could I see you in my office for a minute?" It was more of an order than a request from the Chief-of-Staff.
Obligingly, he followed her back to her office, where she immediately closed the front blinds to veil the scene from curious onlookers in the bullpen. He shut the door behind him two seconds before she wheeled on the former submariner. "What exactly is your problem with me?"
"I do believe that has been asked and answered, Colonel."
Her voice was dripping frostily as she reminded him, "You said that I was a sanctimonious prig, but you never gave any explanation for why I deserve that label."
"The reasons are personal," he said emotionlessly staring through her.
"And those reasons just pissed off the admiral!" she yelled in his face. "If we're going to be working together on this assignment, and quite conceivably again in the future, I think we should clear things up here and now."
Sturgis said nothing, choosing instead to stare at the poster of the baby seal on the wall just beyond Mac's head. His lack of response only served to further incite her.
"What the hell is your problem? Everyone knew you went through some sort of mid-life crisis when you were brushing off virtually all human contact, but you seem to be doing fine now. Fine, that is, with everyone else in this office except for me," she had tried not to let on before that it upset her that he could make his peace with everyone else, but almost completely ignore her existence. "What did I ever do to you that would cause you to hold a grudge?"
"You want a little insight, Colonel? Let me lead you toward some. What makes you so sure that this is all about you and me?"
She stopped short. "If it's not just about you and me, who else is it about?" Even as she asked the question, a sudden realization hit the pit of her stomach as to where this was leading.
Turner gave her a self-satisfied smirk as he saw comprehension beginning to dawn. "I think you know."
She gave him a nasty look. "Let's leave Harm out of this. Those issues are for me and him to work out by ourselves, and I don't see any relevance as to why they are affecting a working relationship between you and me."
He refocused on the poster, and said in a detached voice, "You're just like the rest of them."
She gripped the back of her chair in frustration as she asked the question, "The rest of who?"
"Women."
Mac gaped at him incredulously. "So this is all a gender thing?"
"You could say it's more of a result of the way you treat the opposite sex."
"Excuse me?" she was taken aback.
He pierced her with a contemptuous glare. "You once told me you were in love with Harm, yet from what little I've been able to get out of him, you broke his heart and then immediately moved on to someone else."
"You're missing a lot of information in that summary, but as I said earlier, I still don't see why that is affecting our professional relationship," she said frostily as she moved back to stand in front of him. "Harm and I are managing just fine, and you were told from the beginning not to interfere when it comes to the two of us."
"I'm not interfering, just observing."
"Then why are we even talking about it?" she threw up her hands. "I don't see what this has to do with anything."
"Colonel, let me draw some comparisons for you that may start the wheels turning," he offered coolly. "A man risks just about everything for a woman who supposedly loves him. She rejects him and makes sure he is painfully aware that she is over him."
"I am not shoving my relationship with Clay in Harm's face," she answered defensively. "And once again, I'm back to what does this have to do with your problem with me."
"Remember that I said this isn't all about you. There is one more player in this whole thing that you haven't even considered."
She was ready to smack him for all the grief he was giving her, but knew that she needed to set a good example as the chief-of-staff and try to talk this out before she could resort to a nice right hook. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she asked, "Are you going to stop speaking in riddles and just tell me what the problem is? Quite frankly, you're talking in circles, and it's giving me a headache."
Sturgis reached into his coat and pulled out his wallet. Mac watched curiously as he pulled something out and handed it to her.
"An engagement ring?" she said in confusion as she examined the shiny white gold band she was holding.
Without a word, he took the ring back and returned it to its place.
"But you and Varese have only been dating..."
She still didn't get it, Sturgis realized as he shook his head condescendingly. "You're pretty slow at catching on for a lawyer. I bought this before I met Varese."
That was the moment that it finally clicked.
"Bobbie?"
"Give the colonel a medal. She finally got it," he didn't try to hide his sarcasm.
Not knowing what else to say, she tried, "I'm sorry."
"Too late for that. What's done cannot be undone," he said bitterly. "You see, after Paraguay, Harm and I got together over quite a few beers and started bashing the opposite sex for all the trouble they'd caused us. I was amazed by the similarities between the general theme our stories. You could say that my rejected proposal was the proverbial last straw for me, added to Lieutenant Roberts' botched defense when I was up for incompetent council. How can you trust other people when all they do is let you and the people around you down?"
She processed his words and slowly articulated, "So you don't want to work with me because I let your friend down, even if he's come to terms with it?"
"Harm gave up a lot more than I did, and I still can't figure out how he can be more forgiving. Maybe it's because everyone knew what he'd done and could try to sympathize. I chose to keep my failure to myself, so I had no support group. That was my choice. But it still brings us to the same end—I can't trust you right now, Mac."
He'd called her 'Mac' rather than 'Colonel,' which she considered that a step in the right direction.
"It's not fair that you're taking what another woman did to you out on me," she said reasonably, deciding to try to talk them onto even enough footing that they could at least make it through their assignment together. "Harm and I are not you and Bobbie. For the record, we have never been a couple, and he definitely has never proposed marriage. Nothing says that I ever stopped loving him. I just told him that things would never be able to work out between us."
"Funny, that's the same thing Bobbie told me," Turner replied cynically.
She sighed in exasperation, switching tactics. "Knowing what you do now, do you wish Bobbie's answer had been different then?"
An image of Varese instantly came to mind. "I suppose not."
She let a few reflective minutes pass before she asked another question. "Can we work together?"
He studied her and thought about the question. "I don't know, but I suppose we're going to find out."
"Okay," she smiled out of relief that he hadn't answered negatively. That would have made things around the office a lot more difficult until they were finished with this case. "I'll look over the file and get it to you before the end of the day."
Taking that as his cue that he was free to go, Sturgis stopped with his hand on the doorknob. "One thing before I go, Colonel. What I told you about how my relationship with Bobbie ended isn't exactly common knowledge. If I get wind of it in the office gossip mill, the secret I've been guarding for you will become part of the same, especially since you admitted that you still love him." Without further ado, he slipped out of her office, leaving a slightly bemused Marine lieutenant colonel in his wake.