She couldn't figure out why she was standing in front of him, not talking, not looking, just standing. She was trying to think of something to say, to describe how she felt, but she couldn't. She couldn't think of the right words to say in this situation. They hadn't talked in weeks, hadn't looked at each other, hadn't been in the same room for more than ten minutes, unless they were in lessons. Talking to him could quite possibly be the most heart-breaking thing she will ever have to do, yet, it had to be done, and she knew he wouldn't be the one to start up the conversation.
She stood and looked at his feet, unable to look at his face. She hadn't looked directly at him since the incident that took place three weeks ago. The only thing she had thought about was what had happened, and she couldn't contain her emotions any longer. It was just a kiss, it was supposed to mean nothing, but, for some reason, it meant everything.
He was a boy, just a boy. But could he possibly be an extraordinary boy? For six years, all he did was pester and annoy her. So, how could he possibly be any different now? He asked her out constantly for two years, then suddenly, something changed. He was different, a good different. He quit asking her out, and started being a gentleman. He started leaving her alone a little more, and stuck with his friends. Then there was the time he had the perfect chance to play a prank on his enemy, and he didn't do it. Before this, he took every chance he had, and showed no mercy. But the most recent incident, the one she stood there thinking of, he didn't do anything. He just walked away from the Slytherin, not saying a word, not glancing at him. She thought very highly of him after this, not only because he walked away, but because he finally showed that he was growing up.
I have to talk to him, I have to say something, she thought; somewhere deep down she knew that this was her one chance, and she needed to take it. She slowly picked her head up, not only to look at his face, but to truly see him, for the first time in a long time. "James, I want to talk to you…about what happened," she said, looking into his eyes.
"I figured as much, since this is the first time you've even looked at me since what happened," he said, looking down into her green eyes. They stood there in silence for a few minutes, both thinking about the same thing.
The first term had just ended, and most students were boarding the Hogwarts Express. Lily, James, and Sirius were all staying at Hogwarts over the holidays. Lily was staying because of Petunia and Vernon, she didn't want to have to deal with their sappiness. Sirius was staying because he had run away from home the year before, and lived with the Potters. And James was staying because Lily was. He thought this might be a good chance for them to talk.
The Christmas feast had just ended, and Lily and James were on their way to the common room. Sirius was beside James, and Lily was not far behind, so she could hear everything they were saying.
"James, you know she doesn't feel the same, why not give it up? Sirius asked.
"Because I can't. There's something about her that I just can't get over, and, something I don't want to get over. Can we finish this discussion later?" James said, slightly turning his head around to look at Lily. "I think she can hear us." Sirius nodded his head in understanding. They walked in an awkward silence until the reached the entrance to the Gryffindor dorms. James gave the Fat Lady the password, and stood in front of the door to let in Sirius. He also waited for Lily; "Happy Christmas, Lily," James said, the two of them standing in the doorway.
"Thanks, Potter, you too," she said looking up, not really wanting to look him in the face. "Oh, God," she muttered under her breath.
"What?" James asked, trying to figure out what she was talking about. Then it came to him; he looked up. There it was, mistletoe. "Oh."
"Yeah, so…I'm just going to…go," Lily said, trying to walk away, but she seemed to be stuck to the ground. "Actually, I don't guess I will go. What did you do?" She asked, her temper rising a little.
James looked at his feet, then heard someone laughing. "I didn't do a thing, maybe you should ask Sirius," he said, pointing a finger at Sirius.
"You can't move until you kiss her, mate!" Sirius yelled from across the room.
Lily, looking embarrassed, muttered something under her breath.
"What was that, Lily?" Sirius asked, now walking over to the pair. "We didn't quite catch that," Sirius said, looking from Lily to James and back again.
"Um…I called-you-an-asshole," Lily said, saying the last four words really fast so they sounded like one word. "And you are one."
"Wow, Lily said a dirty word. Someone must write this down," Sirius joked. Lily did not look like she shared the amusement, and, to Sirius' surprise, neither did James.
"Sirius, if we have to, you know, kiss, to make this stop, why don't you go away so we can?" James asked. Sirius nodded, and headed off to the boys' dormitories.
"Let's just get this over with, okay?" Lily asked, sounding unbelievably nervous.
"Okay," James said, moving his head closer to hers.
She looked into his eyes, she looked scared, worried. She opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't get it out. He had kissed her. Words cannot describe what she felt, and she didn't really want them to. By the time James started to pull away, she was crying. She looked up at him, expecting him to say something, when he didn't, she walked away.
"James, the night we kissed, you, er, didn't feel anything, did you?" Lily asked, looking to James for some assurance she wasn't the only one who felt the magic.
"Yes, Lily, I felt something. I always hoped I would, and, I think you felt something, too," James said, a little smirk coming to his face.
"I...did not."
"Oh, okay, that's why I always catch you staring at me out of the corner of my eye. We all know it's not Sirius you're staring at."
Lily resumed staring at her feet again. She couldn't think of the right thing to say, without saying something completely wrong. "James, I-"
"Lily, if you didn't feel anything, if you never want to see me, or talk to me again, would you just say it? I really don't want to stand here and listen to you "let me down gently" for ten minutes."
"Well, I was trying to tell you, before you interrupted, do you want to let me finish?" Lily asked eyes still on her feet. She didn't even let him reply before starting again, "All these years I've felt nothing but hated for you, but after the kiss, I couldn't think of one reason I should hate you anymore. Then it finally came to me, you constantly asked me out. But, what I didn't understand was why you quit asking three weeks ago. I can't believe I'm actually going to say this, but I want you to ask me, I need you to ask me." Saying this, Lily finally looked up at James. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, his expression was unreadable. They stood there, looking at each for several minutes, until James finally spoke up.
"I don't really understand what has made you change your mind, and, right at the moment, I don't really care. So, will you, Lily Evans, go out with me?"
Lily looked at him, before putting her thumb and index finger to her chin, looking as though she was in deep thought. She looked around the room, trying to make James nervous before answering. "I'll get back to you," was her reply, trying to be serious, but she couldn't help but smile. "Yes, James, the answer is yes. I have one condition though, you need to cut down on the pranks…they've gotten kind of old."
James opened his mouth to say something, but apparently couldn't come up with a word. For the first time in his life, James Potter was speechless. "I really never expected you to say that, though I always wished you would," James said, reaching out for Lily's hand. "I can't promise you I'll cut down on the pranks, they're pretty damn fun."
Lily laughed, and took his hand in hers. From that moment on, they walked hand in hand to the Great Hall, hand in hand to class, hand in hand everywhere. Most girls were jealous, some even filled with hate for the green-eyed Gryffindor, and some were happy for them. Lily didn't care, and neither did James. They were happy together, as long as they were together. If it hadn't been for Sirius, if it hadn't been for that one time under the mistletoe, they wouldn't be this way. If it hadn't been for that one time under the mistletoe, Lily would have gone on hating James for the rest of her life. If it hadn't been for that one time under the mistletoe, Lily wouldn't have said yes when James proposed a year and a half later. If it hadn't been for that one time under the mistletoe, there wouldn't be a Harry James Potter.
A/N: I don't really like the ending, but I couldn't come up with another way to end it. Please review, I'd love to know your opinion!