This story is my own rendition of how Supernatural could end. The idea popped into my head and I decided to let it loose. It's set in Season 4 after CAIAD, and I'll try to post a chapter at least once a week. Enjoy!

The Choice

Sam knew what was going to happen.

He knew what he was going to say. He knew how he was going to say it. He even had a pretty good idea of how badly Dean was going to react.

He was prepared.

It still wasn't any easier for him to walk into their hotel room.

Sam opened the door slowly, his face set in determination. Dean was lounging on his bed—the bed closest to the door—watching one of the few television stations available. He looked up as Sam entered. "Hey." He said simply, and directed his attention to the screen once more.

Typical. Less than a year ago he would have been able to tell that Sam was almost sick with fear and anticipation, but now…

Sam closed the door quietly, taking longer than usual to complete the mundane task. He didn't want to rush what he was about to say, he wanted to cling to his brother's presence for as long as possible.

He turned away from the closed door and focused his gaze on Dean's disinterested form. Dean didn't even spare him another glance. "You just going to stand there?" Dean asked. "Take a seat. There's some kind of football game on…neither team can play, but I guess it's better than watching Home and Garden or the Disney Channel…apparently those are our only other options. There's beer on the table."

Sam swallowed hard at Dean's nonchalance and forced himself not to back down. He had to follow through with this, and if he allowed himself to sit on the bed and watch a pointless game of football with his brother…he didn't know if he could. "Dean…" he said instead, "We need to talk."

Dean tensed instantly. Sam was ready for the reaction, but he flinched nonetheless.

"Sam…" Dean muttered, "Do we really—"

"It's important." Sam interrupted, forcing the words out of his throat. "And it can't wait."

Dean sighed heavily, still tense, and reached for the remote. He pressed the power button, silencing the normal sounds of the cheering fans and the booming announcer's voice.

Sam's thoughts seemed unnaturally loud as he went over what he was about to say. This was it—Dean was never going to forgive him. Things were never going to be the same, and the gulf between them was going to widen astronomically. He clenched his teeth together and forced himself not to back down.

Dean turned to face him, and his face was rigid in the uncomfortable silence. "What is it?"

Sam forced himself to breathe. "Dean…I've made a choice." He said levelly.

Dean's face darkened further. "What do you mean?"

You know what I mean. "I…I'm done sneaking around behind your back. You deserve more than that." He said slowly, "But I've made up my mind, and I need to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

Sam hesitated for a moment, savoring the feeling of his brother's open gaze before the dam burst completely. "I'm going to use my powers again. I need to develop them so that I can kill Lilith and end this whole ordeal."

There. He had said it.

Dean's expression instantly morphed into something beyond words. "No." he hissed, "No way."

"You can't change my mind." Sam said, aware that every word he uttered would only succeed in driving him further away from Dean. "I've already decided."

Dean leapt to his feet, a snarl of rage etched into his face. "What the hell do you mean you've already decided?!" he shrieked angrily, "We never talked about this! When did you get such a damn stupid idea?"

"An hour ago." Sam answered simply, "While I was out."

Dean glared at him, studying his expression. "Ruby was there, wasn't she? On your walk." He spat the last word as though it were poisonous.

"Yes." Sam said, frowning at the implication, "She was."

Dean closed the distance between them in less than a second, hands balled into shaking fists at his side. He laughed, but the sound was bitter, like a slap in the face. "You've pulled a lot of crap these past few months, Sam—but this just takes the damn cake. You promised you wouldn't use your powers again. What happened to that, huh? What happened to not going around behind my back with that bitch?!"

Sam forced himself to remain calm. "I haven't." he said simply.

Dean's fist came out of nowhere, slamming into the side of his face with raw force.

Sam's head snapped back from the blow, but he didn't flinch away. "I haven't." he said again, more forcefully, meeting Dean's gaze, "I haven't done anything behind your back that you don't already know about."

"Oh really? That's not saying much, Sammy—"

"Stop it." Sam shot back heatedly, "Stop assuming the worst. Sure, Dean, Ruby stops in occasionally to talk, and she does it while you aren't around because you would rather shoot her than look at her. She comes to tell me how horrifically the angels are losing, to explain how the seals are being broken far too quickly. But I've ignored her. I've stood my ground and refused to act, because I didn't want to get dragged back into that again."

"Then what the hell are you doing, Sam?" Dean demanded. "You promised that you wouldn't use your powers again!"

Sam gritted his teeth. "I never promised you that, Dean." He said quietly. "I promised myself. And I should have known better…I can' t hide from this."

Dean's lips curled back in fury. "Sam." He hissed, "You know damn well what the angels said about your abilities. They'll kill you—"

"They haven't killed me yet." Sam said bitterly. "Dean—I need to do this. I have to stop Lilith before she breaks all the seals."

"No. You. Don't!" Dean shouted, grabbing onto Sam's arm so hard that it was painful, "You don't have to do anything. You aren't a part of this! The angels have it under control—they'll stop Lilith, not you!"

Sam stared at him. "You don't believe that. How the hell can you still believe I have nothing to do with this? I've always had something to do with this—it's who I am! And the angels are losing, Dean."

"No! Angels don't lose, Sam!" he spat back. "And yes, I'm perfectly aware that you have something to do with this—mess—that's targeted us our entire lives." He continued bitterly, "But it's not a good something. Your abilities—your powers—they're evil. They're demonic. Nothing good can come of using them—and you're blind to that!"

Sam clenched his teeth together. "I'm the only one that can stop her, Dean."

Dean released Sam's arm and roughly slammed him back against the wooden door. "No!" he bellowed dangerously, "You're NOT. You honestly think that you're so important that the world will just end if you don't step in and save the day?" he laughed harshly, "You don't matter! You're just as insignificant as everybody else!"

Sam let out his breath in a hiss. "Everyone around me has been dying since I was born, Dean. Everyone wants me dead—angels and demons alike."

"Is that what you want—to be dead?" Dean shouted back sardonically, "Because—oh, if I'd have known that, I could have saved myself the trouble and not suffered in Hell to save your ungrateful ass!"

Sam flinched at the harsh words. "I never asked you to sell your soul for me, Dean." He whispered painfully, "I hate that you did that—it haunts me every damn day!"

"Oh really?" Dean spat, "Because if it really upset you that much, what the hell are you doing running off with that demon to practice your hell-spawned powers?!"

"I…I don't want to run off, Dean." Sam said pleadingly, "I want you to come—I want your support. We—"

"No." Dean interrupted harshly. "We nothing. I won't. I won't stand by you while you go against everything we ever stood for."

"I'm saving people, Dean." Sam protested.

"For now." Dean shot back. "But what about a few months from now, huh? What about when you get so twisted up in this demonic shit that you can't even tell which way's up?"

"So what are you saying?" Sam demanded, "That I'm doomed to become a monster? That I'm just days away from snapping and killing thousands of innocent people? Is that what you're saying?"

"No, Sam, because you already are—" he stopped. The words hung in the air, too late to take back.

Silence.

Sam's breath caught in his throat. "I already am a monster." He finished softly. Dean's words sank into his soul, and nestled deep inside with other words that were just as piercing. If I didn't know you, I would want to hunt you.

Dean's mouth opened and shut again helplessly. "You…"

"No. It's okay. I'm glad you said it." Sam said bitterly. "And that you meant it. It's what I needed to hear."

"Sam…" Dean released Sam from the death grip he had on him and stepped back. "I can't support you if you use your powers now. I can't."

"I know that." Sam replied. "But the angels are losing. I won't let Lilith win."

"Castiel—"

"Castiel can't stop her." Sam interrupted, "If he could, she would have been dead by now. I have to do it."

"You're leaving." Dean said flatly.

His words cut through Sam like a knife. "Yes."

Dean laughed mirthlessly, "Of course you are. That's what you do—you leave."

Sam flinched. "I don't want to." He said softly. "You have to believe me…I had hoped that you would come with me. That you would understand."

Dean threw his arms up. "How can I understand, Sam? Your powers are demonic. If you asked me for anything else I would have gladly given it to you, but not this. I just spent forty years in Hell. In Hell, Sam. I know what this power can do, I know that it won't accomplish anything but evil, and you…" he trailed off, and when he spoke again his voice was firm. "If you go…I won't follow you."

Sam nodded, pushing down the bile that had risen up in his throat. "I know." He said finally, "But I still have to go."

Dean stared at him. "Don't do this." He pleaded quietly, one last attempt to mend the rift. "You can't just…leave. We'll figure out some other way to stop Lilith." He paused, "Please, Sammy."

Sam winced at the raw pain in his brother's voice. He expelled all the air out of his lungs, slowly. This is it…there's no turning back. "I'm sorry Dean." He said after a long pause, "No."

Dean's breath hitched in disbelief. "No?" He echoed, astonished. His thoughts sped up, trying to pinpoint the exact moment when his relationship with his brother had become so irreparably shattered. He realized with a jolt that he had been ignoring the blatant warning signs for the past few months. I should have seen this coming. I should have…

Sam shook his head miserably. He reached behind his back for the doorknob and pulled the door open a few inches. "I'll go now." He said simply, trying to ignore the agony that walking away was causing him.

Dean was at a loss for words, shock clearly etched onto his face.

Sam looked away, knowing that Dean's expression alone might cause him to apologize and stay behind. "Goodbye, Dean." He whispered softly.

He pulled the door open a few feet and slipped through into the darkness, pulling it shut behind him with a click.

Sam's heart pounded wildly. He stood on the sidewalk for a moment, half wishing that Dean would come running out and yell, plead, or throw punches. Anything.

The door remained firmly shut, a symbol of the chasm that had widened between them.

Sam turned and walked away.

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