Title: Happy (Un)Dead Holidays
To: Kelpie169
Summary: Pam and Jason devise a plot to bring estranged lovers, Eric and Sookie, together on Christmas Eve. Set in an AU somewhere between Deadlocked and DEA. Rated M for mature content. Written for Sookie's Secret Santa fic swap.
AN: This one-shot is dedicated to Kelpie169, who I hope enjoys it! I tried to incorporate all of her wish list components into the plot, while also including some personal elements (wink). Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and all that jazz to Kelpie169!
Thanks a million to VALady for betaing this story!
…
Pam and Jason stood hidden in the woods, facing the old house. The lights were on inside and they could see Sookie preparing dinner in the kitchen. They had parked Pam's minivan and Jason's truck back along the side of the road and walked undetected down the long driveway.
"I can't believe I actually let you talk me into kidnapping my own sister. She's going to be so danged pissed at me," he whispered.
Pam rolled her eyes at him. "Oh please. Don't get your panties in a twist. It's for her own good."
"Ugh. 'Panties.' That word squicks me out for some reason. Don't get me wrong…I love what goes in 'em, but I always thought it just sounds…perverted or somethin'. Like a word a dirty old man would jack off to." He pantomimed a jerking off motion.
She scrutinized him for several seconds. "Did you by any chance get dropped on your head as a child?"
Jason frowned. "Uh, yeah. A few times. What's that got to do with anything?"
"Never mind. Listen. She has refused to answer or return my calls and I sincerely doubt if she'll let me in, so you're going to have to get her out on the porch. As soon as she comes outside, I'll grab her and get her in the van. Follow behind quickly because you're going to have to drive."
"Yeah, yeah. Dang, I got it the first fifty times already."
Pam gave him an even stare. "Just making sure, doll. I wasn't sure if you could hold all that information in your head at one time."
"I ain't stupid, you know."
"Sure." She nodded sincerely. "Let's just say that I don't think I have to worry about Sookie reading your thoughts and ruining my plan. But just in case, if you find yourself slipping and actually having an idea or two, think about sex to throw her off."
"Yeah, I tried that one time. She got a disgusted look on her face before she backed off."
"Hmm…I'll just bet she did," she deadpanned.
He shook his head and cleared his throat. "Hey, for the record, I'm only doing this because I know my sis has been pining somethin' fierce over that big ass vamp. All she does is go to work and mope around the house. I've heard she don't go to church or the library, won't return calls or nothing. It ain't like her. I know it's 'cause of him."
"Well, it's the same for my maker. He no longer comes out to the main floor of the bar to enthrall the vermin. He tends to stay back in the office if he even comes in at all. Since he and Sookie have ceased communications, he continues to refuse to feed from donors and has instead been subsisting off that vile synthetic blood."
"Uh, that's really gross. No offense, but I don't really wanna hear about y'all's liquid diet and all."
She rolled her eyes again. She had a feeling she'd be doing that a lot around the handsome but "challenged" Stackhouse sibling.
"Jason, what I'm trying to stress here is that he is not acting like his normal self, and it sounds like it's true for Sookie as well. It is stubborn foolishness that keeps them both from talking to each other."
"Well, wasn't he going to marry some Queen of Kansas or something?" He wagged a finger at Pam. "My sis don't deserve to be two-timed."
She clucked her tongue. "Oklahoma, not Kansas. And yes, he was, but it was not by choice. However, my maker has lived for over a millennium. He is a brilliant tactician and is very resourceful. Freyda grossly underestimated him. He hired the best supe lawyer in the country, Cataliades, to petition against the arrangement his maker had made. When he presented it to the Council, it was declared null and void following Ocella's death, and so he was no longer beholden to honor the arranged marriage. He is a free vampire, as he should be."
"Well, hell, why don't he just tell her? Then we wouldn't have to go through all this."
"Pride. The very same reason why Sookie has not come to him. He was extremely hurt that Sookie used fae magic to save her shifter boss. Essentially, he felt that she chose Sam over him, even though unbeknownst to her he had already retained Cataliades to get him out of that farce of a marriage."
Jason nodded his head as if following Pam's explanation, but the details confused him. All he knew was that it was Christmas Eve and he wanted to go home to a warm bed and snuggle with Michele. Not freezing his ass off in the woods on a crazy vamp caper that was just going to end up pissing Sookie off and getting his balls kicked. But then again, he was hoping this would be a Christmas present she would later thank him for. He really did believe that his sister loved the giant, scary vampire. Not that he understood her feelings for him, but hell, who was he to judge?
He shrugged internally.
"All right. You vamps don't get cold, but I'm freezing. Let's get this over with." He clapped his hands together for dramatic effect.
"Yes, you are quite right. I'll wait here. All you have to do is get Sookie out on the porch and I'll take over. Just make sure you're ready to follow…"
"Yeah, yeah-I got it already, for Christ's sake," he muttered as he trudged towards the driveway.
He continued grumbling under his breath as she called out softly, "Psst…Hey, dumbass. Remember; try not to think about our plan. You'll give us away."
He ignored her. "What a fuckin' nag."
"I heard that!" Pam hissed.
"Whatever," he mumbled. He clomped up the porch steps and rapped on the door, using his "shave and a haircut" knock he'd been using for years to let Sookie know it was him.
A few seconds later, the porch light came on and Sookie peeked out the door. She was wearing a flannel shirt, sweatpants, and fuzzy slippers. Her face was free of makeup and her hair had been hastily pulled into a messy ponytail.
Jason thought she looked like hell.
"Jesus Christ, Shepherd of Judea, Jason! I didn't hear your truck…What are you doing out here at this time of night? Come in before you freeze to death!"
Jason looked down, feeling guilty. He kicked absently at the doorframe. "Well, Sook, I was hoping you'd come out here for a sec. I don't really have time to come in and visit."
Sookie narrowed her eyes as she caught a stray thought from him. He was worried she was going to be angry with him, but she quickly backed out of his mind as he began having explicit and vigorous thoughts about himself and Michele.
She stared at him. "Jason. Just how many tattoos do you have now?"
He shrugged. "Dunno. Stopped counting at some point, but I think I got 14 or so." Slowly, the realization that his sister had just seen him nude in his thoughts dawned on him. "Hey, you stay the hell out of my head!"
She giggled an apology. "Sorry. It was an accident. I'm just tired."
He inspected her face with concern, noting the dark circles under her eyes. "Aw, hell, it's okay. You coming? It won't take long." Hopefully, if their plan worked, Sookie would get over being pissed at him quickly...
She sighed a tired assent. "All right. Just let me get my coat." She emerged wearing a ratty old sweater coat she typically wore to take out the garbage and do other outside chores.
As soon as she stepped out on the porch, Pam swooped in, throwing Sookie over her shoulder.
She sprinted a straight path down the driveway: a vampire running back heading for the end zone.
Sookie had the air knocked out of her. She caught more of Jason's thoughts as she hung upside down, her eyes level with a well-toned ass, sheathed in lavender pants.
Pam.
She had been played by the both of them!
"Pam!" she shrieked. "Put me down, dammit! What the hell are you doing?" Her voice shook as she was jostled by the running vampire.
Pam spoke to her in a calm, chastising tone. "This is for your own good Sookie. You wouldn't return my phone calls. You wouldn't talk to me when I went into that grease trap to see you. Since you and Eric won't discuss things on a face to face basis on your own, you give me no other recourse."
Sookie was speechless. Her thoughts raced. True, she hadn't returned Pam's calls. In fact, as soon as she had recognized her voice, she had deleted the messages without even listening to them. A surge of guilt shot through her. She valued her friendship with Pam, but Eric marrying Freyda…it hurt too much to talk about right now, let alone think about it.
Pam slowed when she reached the road. Without breaking stride, she popped the lock using her key fob and slid the back door open, unceremoniously dumping Sookie onto the backseat. Pam scooted in beside her and closed the door while she waited for Jason to catch up.
Sookie sighed and shook her head. "Pam, really? You're resorting to kidnapping me?"
Pam nodded. "Yes. I am. I'm taking you to Fangtasia where you and Eric can reunite, reconcile, and have fabulous make-up sex."
Sookie guffawed, completely bowled over by Pam's….well, Pamness. It was over the top, even for her.
"Does Eric know you're doing this?"
There was silence for several seconds before she answered. "No. He does not."
"Shit." Sookie bowed her head, holding her face in her hands. "Pam, this is a disaster in the making. What the hell were you thinking?" She just didn't have the emotional bandwidth for this…
Pam was grateful when Jason jumped into the driver's seat, sparing her from having to further justify her actions. She tossed him the keys and he started the vehicle, heading towards Shreveport. If she was honest with herself, she was a tad bit nervous about how Eric would react to her actions, but she knew that ultimately he would owe her. Big time. Like "shopping-spree-in-Europe" big time. Her eyes glazed as she dreamily fantasized about hitting the Parisian haute couture boutiques. It had been too long…
She was brought out of her reverie when Sookie suddenly leaned forward and smacked the back of Jason's head, hard enough to cause him to nearly veer off the road.
"Ow! Dang it, Sook! Why the hell did ya do that?"
"You know darn good and well why I did that, Jason Stackhouse! I can't believe my own brother would help kidnap me. Gran is rolling over in her grave right now. If she were alive, she'd tan your hide!"
"Aw, come on, Sookie. Don't say that. Me and Pam just want you to be happy, that's all. And I know that vamp makes you happy."
Sookie felt tears starting to fill her eyes as she read his thoughts. He was being sincere, but God! It hurt so bad to think about Eric, married to another woman. And…she hated to admit it, but it was especially hurtful that Freyda was beautiful, powerful, and rich. It brought all her self-esteem issues to the forefront, right smack dab in her face. She was just a nobody, a backwoods barmaid (well, now backwoods bar co-owner). No wonder Eric didn't fight for her when he could have a queen. His marrying Freyda was like a simultaneous punch to the gut and stab to the heart.
"Yes, he did make me happy, Jason. But he belongs to the Queen of Oklahoma now. He didn't even try to fight to get out of the marriage his bastard of a maker forced on him. He wanted me to use the-"
Pam interrupted her. "Sookie, a lot has changed since you last spoke to Eric. I have been trying to set up a meeting with you two for some time. He forbade me to speak out of turn, but-"
"Oh yeah, God forbid you do that! But you'll resort to kidnapping no problem!" Sookie snorted.
Pam gave her a slow blink, the vampire's nonverbal analog to a "duh."
Sookie huffed and crossed her arms. "Well, I'm through talking to the both of y'all. You may abduct me. Fine. Whatever. But you're wasting your time because as soon as we get to Fangtasia, Pam, you're paying for my cab ride home."
She interrupted Jason's thoughts. "And no, Jason, you can't share a taxi with me back to Bon Temps."
"Well, dang," he muttered under his breath.
…
The rest of the ride went by in silence. Sookie turned and stared blindly out the window, ignoring Pam and her brother. After what seemed like forever, she spotted Fangtasia's neon sign, which cast a lurid reddish glow into the cold, dark sky.
Pam instructed Jason to drive to the back of the club. As Jason pulled into the lot, Sookie jutted out her chin and turned to Pam. "Okay, now you can go inside and call me a cab. I'll just wait out here while you-oomph!"
Sookie's rant was cut short by Pam, who once again hoisted her over her shoulder and slid effortlessly out of the van. Although she squirmed and fought the vampiress, Pam was able to open the back door and enter the building without batting an eyelash. Jason followed.
"Pam, I swear I'm going to get you for this!" Sookie continued to kick and wriggle as Pam thrust open the door to Eric's office and plopped her down on the couch.
Eric stood and narrowed his eyes at his errant child, who slammed the door behind Jason. He had felt that she was up to fuckery through their bond, and now he understood why…
One look at the angry Viking had Jason shaking his head. He turned and whispered to Pam, "Holy moly, are we in a pickle now!"
"Shut up," Pam hissed. She could feel Eric's anger brewing. Shit. If there was one thing her maker hated, it was deceit at his expense.
She bowed to him.
"Master. Please listen before you act. I know how unhappy you have been since you and Sookie have not seen each other. I thought I would-"
He cut her off, his voice low and menacing. "Leave. Now. And take Stackhouse with you."
Pam knew that tone well. She was skating on thin ice…
She bowed again and turned, quickly ushering Jason out the door.
…
…
Pam hooked her arm through Jason's as she escorted him to the bar. She was relieved that Eric hadn't punished her and that Sookie hadn't bolted. Now, if all went according to plan, her maker would once again be a happy vampire and she would get a reward. One of her choosing, of course.
She smiled, showing a hint of fang.
"Come on, Jason, I'll let you buy me a drink."
"What? I thought this was y'all's bar. Ain't I gonna get a drink on the house?"
"Yes, drinks are on the house. It was just an expression, dumbass."
"Oh."
…
Sookie remained sitting on the couch, looking up at her former lover. "Eric, I'm sorry. I had no idea what they were planning. They literally kidnapped me from the house so please excuse my appearance-"
Her voice trailed as Eric walked over and knelt down in front of her. "You are beautiful, Sookie." Despite his tender words, his expression was tense, guarded...
"Uh, flannel, sweats and slippers aren't exactly, um, proper clubwear," she stammered. She tried to smooth back the sides of her hair self-consciously. "I was relaxing at home, making a late dinner." She sat up, her eyes wide. "Oh crap! My food. Oh well. It's a good thing I cut the stove off when Jason knocked on the door."
He frowned as his sharp eyes took inventory. "So you have not eaten tonight. And you look like you have lost weight and you are pale…I do not like it."
She shrugged and volleyed back a grim smile. "No? Well, too bad, buddy. Nursing a broken heart over here. Kind of not sleeping or eating much nowadays."
Eric's eyebrows arched in surprise. "Broken heart? I thought you were happy with the shifter. You chose him, after all."
Her back stiffened. "What the hell do you mean, I 'chose him'? And what does it matter to you who I'm with anyways?" She sniffed. "I'm surprised you haven't moved to Oklahoma by now to be with your wife."
Eric's fangs shot down violently, drawing beads of blood on his lower lip that fell unheeded to his shirt. In a fluid move, he stood to his full height.
"Freyda is not my wife!" he ground out.
He loomed over her, his eyes narrowed and fists clenched.
"I once had a bonded, one who completely disrespected our bond and shattered it behind my back. Mind you, the very same one who was a wife to me in every way that mattered and she chose another man over me. No, not a man. She chose a fucking mongrel over me!"
He turned and slammed his fists on his desk, cleaving the piece of furniture down the middle.
Sookie gasped and stood, intending to sneak out the door while he was distracted.
Eric remained immobile, facing his broken desk.
"Finns det verkligen inget hopp?*" he said to himself, his voice now devoid of emotion.
He turned his head slightly in her direction. "And now she leaves, without a word, once again behind my back. Enjoy your life with the shifter, Sookie. Maybe you will have a whole litter of telepath-puppy hybrids with him."
Sookie could feel her temper radiating up from her chest and into her face.
She hissed, "You asshole! I didn't choose Sam over you. I love you. You're the one who broke my heart!" Hot, heavy tears began falling down her cheeks. She swiped at them with her hands.
Eric slowly turned to face her. Although his fangs were still descended, his expression thawed slightly. He no longer looked furious. He looked…wounded.
"You used the fae talisman to bring him back from death. You did not even offer to use it to save me from a century of servitude."
Sookie sobbed, the tears now flowing freely as her internal dam finally burst. "I saved Sam because he's a good friend, Eric, and he didn't deserve to die like that. I didn't want to use the cluviel dor to rescue you from Freyda, because I knew you were strong enough to do it on your own. I wanted you to prove you would fight for me, not take the easy way out, damn it!"
Eric grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "I did fight for you, Sookie! I took steps immediately after Ocella was ended. I hired Cataliades to get me out of that bullshit contract. I went before the Council, and they granted me my freedom. It took some time, and quite a bit of money, but I am a free man." He chuckled humorlessly. "And to what end? Free to live my life without you it seems."
Sookie sniffled and blinked. She was quiet for several seconds before she whispered, "You're free, really free?"
He retracted his fangs and nodded his head as he cradled her face in his huge hands. "Yes, I am. And you? You are truly not with the shifter?"
She snorted a soggy laugh. "Good lord, no! I don't feel that way about him. Sam is a close friend, like a brother to me. But that's all he is and all he ever will be."
He searched her face with his eyes. There was silence between them for a split second, and then, without warning, he crashed his lips to hers.
She responded immediately. She put forth all her heartache, all her love, passion, and desperation for Eric right back at him, as if to force it down his mouth and into his soul.
Their kiss was a frenzy of tongues, teeth, fangs, and occasional gasps from Sookie. Without breaking contact with his mouth, he reached down, cupping her ass as she kicked off her slippers and wrapped her legs around his waist. He devoured her mouth and neck while pulling the elastic band from her hair. Her head fell back in ecstasy as she moaned his name.
She shrugged out of the sweater coat while he backed up and sat heavily onto the couch. He continued nipping down her neck, making his way to her chest. She gasped as he ripped her shirt open, buttons flying across the room like popping kernels. He growled when he saw she wasn't wearing a bra. His growls became louder as she began to rock back and forth over his erection, which he enthusiastically thrust against her.
"Eric, God, that feels good! I've missed you so much," she whispered.
He raised his mouth from her hardened nipples, which he had been sucking and teasing with his fangs.
"And I you, lover. I was crazed with jealousy and grief, thinking about you with that shifter."
She kissed his forehead and playfully tugged his hair as she looked in his eyes. "And I couldn't sleep and could barely choke down food thinking about that bitch touching you." She shook her head. "We're really stupid, you know? All we had to do was just reach out and talk to each other. All this time, wasted."
"Yes, but no more time wasted. Not now, not ever again, Sookie."
She undulated against him again as she gently bit his neck, causing his eyes to roll back.
"Okay, mister. Put your money where your mouth is. Prove it," she breathed into his ear.
He opened his eyes and smiled. His fangs had fully descended again. As fast as lightning, he ripped her sweatpants from her body and had freed his cock.
He then proceeded to prove it to her, right there on the couch.
…
Pam smirked as she sat at the bar, pretending to sip on a True Blood. Despite the booming music, she could distinctly hear the sound of Eric and Sookie's heated ecstasy.
She turned to Jason and clinked her drink to his beer bottle.
He gave her the once over before tipping the beer to his lips. He swallowed and wiped his mouth with his hand. "What? You're smiling like the cat that ate the canary. What's going on in that pretty head of yours?'
A slow, impish grin took root on her face. "Oh, not much. Just debating about which shops in the Triangle d'Or to hit first. Chanel, Dior, or Lacroix?"
Jason frowned. "Huh?"
She patted his head. "Never mind. Happy holidays, Jason."
"Back at you, Pam," he chuckled as he took another swig of his beer.
…
AN: * Is there truly no hope?
Happy Holidays and New Year to Jan of Arc, everyone who participated in the SSS fic swap, and of course, to all the readers!