Disclaimer: If I owned Rookie Blue, I wouldn't be desperately awaiting tonight's episode, now would I ;)?
Rated T, because I'm still paranoid.
A/N: Just a quickie that came to me an hour ago.
I really enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoy reading it!
-0-0-
She can't keep doing this.
Not only is it universally unfair to the both of them, but it's driving her insane as well; this life-sized version of ping-pong, featuring herself as the ball.
She can't keep bouncing between them as she has been.
-0-0-
Luke's a great guy.
He's charming, and caring … though definitely married to his job. She went for the good guy, for once. Sick and tired of always falling for the bad boy and always getting hurt, she'd chosen to give up on the bad boys and give Luke a chance, instead.
He cares about her; that much is obvious. But when push comes to shove, he's a homicide detective; and is in the habit of putting cases above her. She tries not to take it to heart; tries to tell herself that his job is important (which it is) and that he'll always have a duty to the dead bodies.
And it's all true … She just isn't so sure she can deal with always coming in second.
But he's still a great guy. And her cares about her.
And he's safe.
-0-0-
Sam is … Sam.
There's really no other word for it. (There's a million things about him that she'd love to describe, she just can't find the right words for any of them.)
Sam's funny; when he's trying to be, and when he's not. Jokes come second nature to him, and she finds herself smiling and laughing loads when she's with him. Yet at the same time, he's deadly serious when he needs to be. He knows how to teach her what she needs to learn in a way that she can relate to, and is harsh when he needs to be; she respects him for that. He's a rock when she needs him to be, with just the right kind of understanding sympathy in his eyes and none of the pity that she so hates seeing.
He doesn't always play by the rules. He constantly bends them, and stretches them to their limit. But he respects them, and why they're there. He does what he needs to do, and at the end of the day, he'd do it all again; because, in the end, the things he does are for a good reason and bring good outcomes.
And she thinks that maybe he cares for her, too. She'd tried to convince herself, at the beginning, that he couldn't possibly be right for her, because no bad boy ever has been. Now, though … she doesn't really think he falls under the bad boy category, anyways. While he's certainly not clean-cut, he's true and he's sincere.
The only obligation he has to her is in the field, when he's her training officer. But even when he isn't, she never feels like she's coming in second with him. She feels like she's coming first.
He's … Sam.
And while there's every possibility that he isn't a safe choice … she feels safe when she's with him.
-0-0-
She can't keep doing this.
She can't keep leading them on the way she has been; however unintentionally it was, because they deserve so much better than that.
She knows she has to choose. She knows that she should choose; that she really, really should.
But in the end, when it comes down to her decision … the choice she wants to make is against the rules.