Hey all! This is my first fanfic, so let me know how I'm doing. I've been reading for years, but haven't ever picked up the pen, so to speak, so any constructive criticism is welcome (as is praise!). I'm totally into Flashpoint, and especially Spike's character, which helped motivate me to write. Please, please review!

Every man casts a shadow; not his body only, but his imperfectly mingled spirit. This is his grief. Let him turn which way he will, it falls opposite to the sun; short at noon, long at eve. Did you never see it?

-Henry David Thoreau

Spike was running, away from the explosive containment truck, away from the mine, away from Lou. He was shouting at the team, and why weren't they listening to him, they needed shields, they needed water, this would work, it had to work- he couldn't think about what would happen if it didn't, because it was Lou, and he needed him, more than he needed anything. But the team, the team was just standing there, and they weren't helping, and what was going on-

Lou's voice crackled over his headset. "Spike," he said, and there was a pause.

"Yeah, buddy?" another pause. "Lou!" And he was running through the weight transfer in his head, trying to figure out exactly how it would work, because failure wasn't an option, and it had to-

"It's gonna be okay." And there was a quiet resignation in Lou's voice, and Spike knew, in that moment, that it wasn't going to be okay, and there was a sickening rush as he realized what was going to happen, and he called out his friends name one last time. Before he had a chance to say anything else, he felt, rather than heard, the explosion behind him.

And suddenly, he was screaming, and he was on the ground. He wasn't aware of anything except the pavement under him, and the knowledge that Lou was gone, and he wasn't ever going to be there again. The world closed in around him, and it took a long time to realize that Greg was there, rocking him back and forth as he cried, and he held on to his boss like a lifeline, because Lou was gone, Lou was gone, oh god Lou was gone-

Spike shot up in bed with a gasp, drenched in cold sweat, sheets tangled around him. He sat there for a few moments, shaking and trying to regain his equilibrium. When felt he could move without throwing up, swung his legs over the side of the bed and checked the clock.

3:00 am. He groaned a little bit- he knew he wasn't going back to sleep, not after that dream, and he had just gotten to bed at midnight after a few rounds with the guys at the Goose. Oh well, he thought. Just gives me more time to get ready for shift.

He got out of bed and threw some clothes on, and cursed as he stubbed his toe on the corner of his dresser. He still wasn't used to the layout of his new apartment. He finally got out the door, and made his way to the kitchen, where he poured himself a glass of water and drained it. He examined his hands; still shaking. It was subsiding, though, and it wasn't as bad as it was the last time.

Spike shook his head. There shouldn't be a last time. But the dreams kept coming, and he kept shaking, so he might as well deal with it. He grabbed the cereal out of the cupboard, pulled a bowl out of the dishwasher, and sat down to eat.

When he was done, and had stalled as long as could, he glanced at the clock again.

3:40. Well, he thought, might as well head in and put in some extra time in the weight room. And so, with one last glance at his oddly silent apartment, he grabbed his bag and walked out to his car.

At a few minutes before six, Greg Parker walked into SRU, fully confident that he would be the one of the only ones there. Team three was out on a call, Sid's shift was ending in a few minutes, and it was an hour before the rest of the team would start filtering in. So, as he nodded to Sid and walked into the locker room, he was more than a little surprised to see a gym bag thrown haphazardly onto the bench, it's contents looking dangerously close to spilling all over the ground. Greg righted the bag, still puzzled to how it had gotten there.

He shrugged, and wrote it off as Sam being careless and leaving it the night before. It wouldn't be the first he had done it, after all. Greg walked over to his locker and pulled on a t-shirt and some sweatpants, ready to hit the gym. He had been holed with paperwork most of the last week, and was starting to feel it.

Grabbing his water bottle, he was just entering the gym when he heard a treadmill going, and the pounding of feet, running fast. Maybe the bag wasn't Sam's, he thought, wondering who was here so early.

He rounded the corner to see Spike, sweat dripping off him, looking like he was well into his workout.

Greg knew Spike had been having a hard time of it lately, with his father's death and his mother's subsequent departure. He had been concerned as to how Spike was dealing with it, but didn't want to push. Spike was probably the most sensitive member of the team, and was able to empathize with pretty much anybody, but was surprisingly tight about his own personal life and feelings. Greg hadn't known Spike's father was sick until the trying interview with Toth, and it worried him that he hadn't seen any of the signs. Hoping he wasn't missing anything now, he moved into Spike's line of sight and approached him slowly.

Spike didn't see Greg until he was nearly on top of him. When he looked up and saw him standing three feet away, he jerked reflexively and almost fell off the treadmill. He gathered his wits and righted himself, breathing hard. He wasn't expecting anyone to show for nearly another hour. He looked at Greg and inwardly groaned. His boss obviously wanted to talk, and that was the last thing Spike wanted to do at the moment.

"Hey buddy," Greg began warmly. "I didn't expect you to be here so early. Really surprised me when I saw your bag in the locker room. You might want to be a little more careful; I was almost picking up your stuff off the ground." He grinned as he poked fun at the younger man, trying to gauge his reactions.

Spike had forgotten all about his gym bag- he still wasn't thinking clearly from his dream, and had just flung it onto the bench before making his way straight to the treadmill. His face burned. The locker room was supposed to be clean: Ed was almost obsessive about that.

"I'm so sorry, boss, I wasn't thinking, and it won't happen again, I promise- I'll go deal with it now-" he tried to hurry past Greg, keeping his face down. He really didn't want to talk, but could see that was becoming unlikely unless he got out of there fast.

"Spike- Spike! Whoa there, buddy," Greg caught his arm, stopping him in his tracks. " I wasn't criticizing. We have plenty of time until the others get here, it can wait." Spike could feel Greg's calculating gaze on him, and wondered briefly what he was coming up with.

Nothing good, it turned out. "Why are you here so early, bud? Trouble at home?" –It's gonna be okay- Spike's head shot up.

"No- no, boss, nothing like that. Just couldn't sleep, that's all." He felt sick to his stomach, but pasted a smile onto his face. He hoped it looked more convincing than it felt. "Thought I might do something productive with my time." He knew it sounded flimsy, and sure enough, Greg was looking at him, the skepticism clear in his eyes. Spike hoped he wouldn't pry any more into it; Lou's death was hard enough reliving at night. He didn't want to have to go through it in his waking hours too. "Really, boss, nothing wrong," he lied.

There was a long pause as Greg looked at him, debating whether or not to pursue it. Finally, he sighed and released Spike's arm. "You know I'm always here, right, Spike? Anytime you want to talk, you find me."

Spike felt a rush of gratitude. He was more grateful than ever of Greg's decision to stay- momentarily, he forgot his dreams, forgot the explosion –it's gonna be okay- and let Greg's comforting presence wash over him. Flashing his boss his first real smile of the day, he nodded. "I know, boss."

With that, he quietly turned away and made his way back to the locker room. It wouldn't do to have Ed find his bag on the bench.

Greg stood there for a long time after Spike disappeared, staring at the locker room door.

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