Eye Of Jealosy
An Inuyasha One-Shot by A.L.F
Disclaimer: Inuyasha and all characters/settings/storylines of it belong to Rumiko Takahashi and affiliates. I make no profit from this fic.
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Jealousy knows no boundaries, possesses no guidelines, has no pattern. It is companion and enemy to all walks of life, to the old and those that have barely tasted the bitter grit of life. It is anonymous, faceless, and deceptively unshakable.
Young Kaede knew jealousy very well, for it had been with her for as long as she could remember.
She had an older sister, Kikyou, who treated her with the utmost compassion. After their parents died of the plague, Kikyou fought hard to make her little sister happy. She always gave Kaede the larger share of their meals, draped the finer clothing over her little sister's shoulders, and always smiled and spoke sweet, kind things to try to keep Kaede's mind off the hardship of their life alone as orphans.
It was not long that Kikyou discovered that she was unlike any normal person. Blessed by the gods, she possessed an uncanny ability to heal people, to read their souls, and to protect them. With these gifts, Kikyou surrendered her entire life to her faith, hoping that her unrelenting devotion to it would carry her and her sister through these roughening times.
Those around them could clearly see Kikyou's good deeds towards her sister, as well as her heart of gold. They respected her for it.
And as Kaede disappeared in the shadow of her older sister's numerous admirable qualities, jealousy began to take root in her heart.
Kaede, like her sister, had special abilities as well. She could not heal people, nor could she directly protect them, but she learned that she could manipulate the will of others. Surely this could be a handy weapon against evil! Manipulating enemies to not harm their village, pitting them against each other, giving those around her the desire and strength that they didn't have before to protect their homes for all their worth…
No one even realized that Kaede had any powers, nor did they care to let her show them. They were all too busy with the hardships of their own lives and in their hope through Kikyou to pay enough attention to her little sister.
Kikyou herself did not realize what kind of power Kaede possessed. The demands and pressure of the other villagers for her to be strong for the village, to be perfect in their eyes, left her little room for free time with her sister. Ironically, to give Kaede the best life possible, she had to devote all of her time to her training of being a powerful miko.
Kaede had always been aware of the sacrifices Kikyou had made for her. It was this awareness alone that kept Kaede from hurting her sister, or running away. She pretended to like Kikyou and did everything she asked out of obligation for this awareness, and to tone down the guilt she harbored over hating her sister so.
Thus, Kaede only grew smaller in Kikyou's towering shadow, her jealousy festering throughout her heart and into the recesses of her mind.
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The dry summer wind spared no one in its parching wake, the sun too harsh in its brightness. Those whose lives weren't dependent on being outside all day stayed indoors in a meager attempt to escape the heat. Kikyou remained in the temple with dozens of other Shinto priests and priestesses, for she had been chosen some time ago to protect some mystical jewel called the Shikon-no-Tama, and the others were engaging on the occasional meeting with her on how to handle such an important role.
Kaede, not at all surprised that Kikyou had been chosen for this supposed sacred duty among all the other priestesses in Japan, had escaped the buzz and tension of the town. She hardly noticed the heat, too distracted by the swirl of emotions creating a storm within her.
She didn't even know what a Shikon-no-Tama was! What could possibly be so important about it?
To relieve some of her anger, Kaede decided to practice with her abilities. However, it was on that day that she made a critical mistake.
She did not realize how strong the will of a snake was. Alone in the middle of a meadow, crouched so that no one could see her among the lazily-swaying tall grasses, Kaede stared, motionless, into the eyes of a snake. It stared right back at her, its entire body coiled and tense, ready to strike. Venom dripped from the fangs of its gaping mouth.
Kaede did not blink, barely breathed, tried to move her lips as little as possible as she whispered an urgent chant over and over again. It was this spell alone that was keeping the snake from lunging at her face and injecting its deadly venom into her. The snake's will fought with her, struggled to break free from its frozen state so that it could once again move on its own accord. Kaede's mind felt like it was splitting in two over the struggle to keep the snake in place.
Grasses and weeds waved around them, as though the wind was trying its best to break Kaede's concentration. She knew that if her mind faltered from the snake and her desperate words for even the tiniest moment, the spell would be broken and she would be under the mercy of the snake's deadly bite.
A twig snapped somewhere beside Kaede. Not at all expecting the closeness of the noise, being almost right beside her, she jumped. She could feel the brief lift in pressure from her head and knew at once that the spell had dissipated.
The snake finally lunged her, a brown blur against the green foliage, so fast that Kaede had no time to react.
She blinked, sucked in her breath, and stared straight into its gaping mouth, jaws flapping in front of her face as it gasped for air, its fangs continuing to drip.
Kaede blinked again, surprised, and realized that a hand held a deathly-firm grip on the snake's neck, right behind its jaw. She followed the arm up until her eyes rested upon one of the most strikingly beautiful ladies she had ever seen.
Raven-dark hair framed a pale, heart-shaped face, bearing large eyes of the brightest blue. The woman wore a pale-pink seashell jewel at the base of her widow's peak.
Kaede could only stare, mouth hung open, at the woman who so easily held the snake at bay with one arm as though holding a rag. She smiled at the awe-stricken girl, her full red lips curving delicately. The smile was warm, friendly, like how Kikyou smiled, though somehow Kaede did not feel repulsed when this woman wore it.
Kaede took quick note of the familiar, loose haori and hakama the woman wore. Clearly, her savior was a miko.
"Good thing I arrived when I did," the woman commented as her free hand also grasped the snake's body. She twisted her hands as though wringing a towel. A dullcrack emitted from her grasp, and she dropped the snake, its limp body hitting the ground harmlessly.
Kaede gawked at the snake, shocked on how easily this miko woman made the killing of that snake look. Clearly she possessed more strength than her appearance let on.
"A moment too late, and you would have lost the battle with that snake, even without me around to distract you."
Kaede blinked, taking a moment to fully process what the woman had just said. "Lost the battle…you mean—"
"You have extraordinary power for a girl your age. However, you should know what you're practicing with before you put yourself in danger."
Kaede's eyes widened. Suddenly, this woman became more in her eyes than just a traveling miko. This woman was the light shining through the perpetual darkness that imprisoned Kaede, her window to a brighter life. Even her own sister did not know the talents she possessed, but this stranger…this stranger could not overlook her powers. Perhaps…perhaps Kaede wasn't so lost after all.
"My name is Tsubaki," the woman announced, giving that same warm smile as before, although this time Kaede felt as though it had touched her very soul. "I'm here looking for the miko called Kikyou."
Suddenly, the light that seemed to engulf this woman in Kaede's mind dimmed. The effectiveness of her smile cooled. All cracks and crevices away from her prison of jealousy vanished.
Kikyou. Of course someone as beautiful and seemingly perfect as this woman, the one person who could clearly see Kaede's potential, had traveled for none other than Kikyou.
Kaede struggled greatly to hide her disappointment and disgust, managing a small, strained smile. "You know of my sister Kikyou?"
Tsubaki's eyes sparkled with interest as she took a long gaze at Kaede. "So you're her baby sister! Kaede! You were only an infant when I last saw you. Kikyou and I are very old friends from when we were very little. We write to each other every once in a while. I heard of her new…assignment. Me being the worrier that I am, I decided to travel down to see her myself, to make sure everything's ok."
Kaede frowned. Even outsiders were making a big fuss over this Shikon-no-Tama thing. She heard snippets about the jewel from one of Kikyou's two secrets--Onigumo, a pitiful, crippled bandit who Kaede both despised and took a fascination with at the same time. However, she did not manage to hear enough about it to know what it was in detail or what it did.
Kaede turned away, ignoring the sting of her hair whipping across her face from the wind as she stared down the slope of the meadow to the village. The rage of her jealousy boiled inside her as her eyes grazed upon the temple. Oh, if only she could strengthen and mature her powers fast enough to do something to her sickeningly perfect big sister…
"What is this Shikon-no-Tama thing anyway?" she muttered, only half-heartedly concealing the pout in her voice.
Tsubaki moved beside her, quietly marveling the view. Kaede stole a side-ways glance in her direction, of her whimsical expression, and the little worry lines on the corners of her eyes that proved her claim of being a slave to unease, and wished that she could be so beautiful. Perhaps, maybe if she could Ilook better than Kikyou, more people would take an interest in her, and notice her powers.
"I'm surprised you don't know about the Shikon-no-Tama," Tsubaki said in a light voice barely audible to Kaede, almost lost to the wind. "There is so much I can say about it, so much history behind it to be told. But for now, I will tell you that it is a jewel of great power, but one that only attracts evil souls and spawns evil intentions. There is no telling what would happen to this world if such a person were to get a hold of this jewel and used its power. Your sister was chosen to protect this jewel because of her pure soul, and her ability to purify all around her. For as long as the jewel exists, probably for the rest of your sister's life, she must protect the jewel for those that wish to take it, and keep her own soul pure so that the jewel itself also remains pure."
Kaede frowned down at the temple, seemingly so peaceful, so ordinary. Clearly, Tsubaki's brief synopsis of the Shikon-no-Tama did not impress her. Naturally, Kikyou would be so perfect as to be the only one capable of protecting a powerful magical object.
Kaede could feel her jealousy flare again, like a volcano about to erupt. For being an old friend of Kikyou's, she did not mind Tsubaki's company so far. Conversation, therefore, seemed like a good idea to control Kaede's jealousy.
"So, what kinds of things can this Shikon-no-Tama do if one uses it anyway?"
"Basically, anything the possessor wishes, it grants," Tsubaki answered matter-of-factly, as though answering a simple trivia question. "However, because it attracts evil, it would more than likely be used for an evil purpose."
An evil purpose. Kaede wondered if it was possible for someone with good intentions to also use this Shikon-no-Tama. Then she wondered what it would be like to be stronger, more beautiful, and more admirable than Kikyou. Oh, to be the center of attention, the one person that everyone could depend on and look up to. Someone that Kikyou herself could look up to.
This Shikon-no-Tama...maybe it can do that for me!And for once, Kaede's heart swelled with a sadistic hope of possibly fulfilling her one and only wish. She knew, however, that even as Kikyou's sister, she wouldn't be able to get close enough to the jewel to use it. Somehow, Kaede needed enough power to overcome her sister, and to take the jewel for herself…
As Tsubaki descended the slope in all the smoothness and grace that Kaede envisioned her with, ideas began to brew in her mind, fueled by her jealousy.
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Flames from the fire pit in the center of the room quavered and distorted the image of Kikyou and Tsubaki. Kaede watched them quietly from the far corner of the small space, with much boredom, as the two women chatted. Between the flames, Tsubaki seemed happy, talking away with much enthusiasm, and occasionally releasing a laugh. Kikyou, as expected, sat there quietly, politely nodding and smiling to Tsubaki's words, occasionally laughing half-heartedly with her old childhood friend.
Kaede wondered, nonchalantly, whether or not Kikyou was even enjoying her reunion with Tsubaki. Then again, she didn't seem to enjoy much of anything since becoming the guardian of the Shikon-no-Tama…except, of course, for the company of that creature called Inuyasha, whom Kikyou seemed to hold a reserved fascination with.
Shikon-no-Tama…Kaede sighed, shifting her weight slightly as the women in front of her laughed, talking about how they would refer to themselves as sisters all the time when they were younger. Their voices rippled like the heat above the fire pit. Kaede's thoughts wandered to Tsubaki's words of earlier, and about what the Shikon-no-Tama may do.
If the jewel attracts evil, then why am I thinking about it so much? Kaede never thought of herself as evil. Negative in spirit, yes, somewhat malicious in her mind, yes, but not…evil. I can use the Shikon-no-Tama to become a better person that Kikyou ever could. Then maybe people will notice my power, my potential. I could be the one everyone in the village looks up to and depends upon, then Kikyou can stop worrying about me and live the normal life she's always wanted. What's so evil about that? Tsubaki must be mistaken about this Shikon-no-Tama.
Tsubaki. Kaede's eyes locked on her, unblinking through the dancing, flickering flames that tried to distract her with their light. The miko certainly was beautiful, a close comparison to Kikyou. She seemed sweet in demeanor, and someone Kikyou seemed to be able to tolerate for more than a few minutes. The fact that Tsubaki had sensed Kaede's abilities right away proved that she at least had a bit of power as a miko. Kaede wasn't sure how much power she possessed compared to her sister, but still…
Tsubaki paused, using the moment to take a quick glance in Kaede's direction. Bright blue eyes rested on solemn brown ones, accompanied by a warm smile. Kaede blushed, reliving the moment in her mind when she had realized that this woman had noticed her potential when no one else was too busy to. Despite being friends with Kikyou, Tsubaki would always hold that special place in Kaede's heart as the one that understood her the most.
Tsubaki kindly asked if Kaede wanted to join in on the conversation. Kaede let out a little smile, shook her head no, and the two women continued where they left off.
Kaede focused fully on the fire now, her mind spinning with excitement, and ideas. She would need to gather incense, paper, ink, and more logs for the fire for later tonight. She had finally found a perfect reason to use an untried spell. Tonight, she would have a way to get close to the Shikon-no-Tama, and to carry out her dream.
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The village was always uncharacteristically peaceful after nightfall. Everyone slept comfortably in their homes, despite the fact that in the temple nearby existed a magnet of evil. No one ended their day with fear of prowling youkai or roaming killers and thieves. As long as Kikyou protected the Shikon-no-Tama, the village could slumber with ease.
Kaede, however, chose this particular night to creep about the temple. She avoided the main room, where Kikyou stood ground with the jewel. She eased down hallways, slipped through doorways, until finally she peeked her head into the room where Tsubaki slept.
Kaede half expected her to be awake, or at least to wake up to her presence. After all, she was a miko, and Kaede knew from experience how hard it was to sneak up on one.
But Tsubaki slept, as heavily as the oblivious villagers, and even snored a little.
Too nervous to be amused by this little quirk of the miko's, Kaede stepped quietly into the room, sliding the door closed slowly behind her. She paused to wipe the sweat off her brow, still perspiring over the many hours she sat chanting in front of the fire. The coolness of the dark bedroom felt good on her skin.
Kaede swallowed, barely able to focus over the heavy beating of her heart as she approached Tsubaki, kneeling by her side. She could scarcely believe that she was actually going to go through with this spell, without even practicing it on someone else first. Her mind wandered briefly over the possible, positive outcome of successfully casting this spell. Kaede shook her head, swallowed her excitement, and fought the best she could to keep her trembling hands steady as she reached out to touch Tsubaki's face.
Kaede hope that, in only a matter of moments, she could temporarily "borrow" Tsubaki's body, just long enough to get past Kikyou and obtain the Shikon-no-Tama. If cast correctly, Kaede's body would represent an empty, lifeless shell while her soul and Tsubaki's soul shared Tsubaki's body. Casting the spell while Tsubaki slept was a crucial detail—it ensured that Kaede could easily subdue Tsubaki's soul and control her body during the time necessary, and ensured that Tsubaki would not remember a thing once Kaede's soul returned to her own body.
Delicately, Kaede cupped her hand over Tsubaki's right eye, placing the other hand over her own. She smirked to herself over the saying, Eyes are windows to the soul.
Then she waited.
And waited. Kaede sighed. Tsubaki snored.
After a few moments, Kaede sighed again. The spell was supposed to activate immediately upon contact, but Kaede felt nothing unusual except the awkwardness of being in someone else's bedroom while touching her face.
Feeling her frustration rise, Kaede shifted her weight, preparing to leave. This movement caused her to press her hand only slightly harder against Tsubaki's face. The miniscule extra bit of contact was all she needed. At once Kaede could feel a strange tingling sensation rush along the length of her arm, spreading throughout her body.
Kaede froze, holding her breath, eyes wide. All of her work in front of the fire earlier had paid off. Now…
Kaede closed her eyes, focusing all of her attention on the tingling sensation flooding her body. She began to whisper the chant she uttered so many times earlier that evening, hoping her hushed voice wouldn't wake Tsubaki.
Over and over again the words flowed from her lips, as the tingling sensation pulsated to the beat of her pounding heart. Seconds felt like minutes, minutes like hours, time stretching as though each syllable slowed its very course.
Finally, when Kaede had lost her patience with the spell, the tingling sensation suddenly intensified, now flooding through her body. All traces of light around her dimmed until it seemed as though only she and Tsubaki existed, floating in a black pit of nothingness. The intensified tingling numbed her senses, causing Kaede to hear nothing, and feel nothing around her, as though she were floating. Kaede gasped, tensing her entire body, balling her hands into fists over this unexpected experience, and the unexpected pain it brought. The tingling intensified still until she was shouting in utter agony, though she could not hear her own anguished cries. She winced, scratching through her closed eyelid of her right eye in an uncontrollable reaction to the pain. Her other eye flew open just in time to see Tsubaki stir and wake with a start. Alarmed, Kaede tried to pull away in an attempt to break the spell, but quickly found that she could not move.
And in that instant, Kaede suddenly found herself in an unfamiliar village, on a bright, sunny day…
Two little girls were playing their rendition of tag among the village streets. Kaede could smell the faint, sweet smell of wildflowers nearby, could hear chickens clucking and people talking from somewhere close, could feel the dirt beneath her feet and the bright sunlight in her squinting eyes…
When one of the little girls turned to glance in her direction, Kaede realized in an instant that she was looking at a young version of Tsubaki. She was witnessing one of Tsubaki's memories.
More different scenery flashed before her, more memories passing by. In most of these memories, Kaede felt loved by everyone around her, connected with each face she met, acknowledged by every person that passed her by. It was a strange, settling feeling that she had longed for all her life--for people to simply stop and chat with her, to not consider her just as powerful Kikyou's sister and ignore her as though even looking in her direction would displease her older sister. She met Tsubaki's family many times, feeling their love and devotion to her, and witnessing all that they had sacrificed and toiled over for Tsubaki's happiness.
Kaede suddenly recalled the countless times Kikyou had gone out of her way to try to make Kaede happy and safe, of all the things that she had done that Tsubaki's parents had also done…
An overwhelming sense of guilt swept over Kaede upon connection of these feelings. Perhaps Kikyou wasn't so bad after all. Perhaps Kikyou was the way she was, perhaps people looked up to her so much because of her love for Kaede.
Suddenly, all of Tsubaki's happy childhood memories disappeared. Kaede sucked in her breath with a start, and found herself in a futon, under sheets. In Tsubaki's bed. She sat up and looked around frantically, ignoring the enormous, pounding pain in her head. That's when she realized that she had a bosom, as though her breasts had grown in an instant, and that she now wore different clothes from a moment ago.
She looked up in a panic, her heart sinking when her eyes locked onto the frightened gaze of a somewhat scruffy-looking little girl. A little girl who was currently clutching her right eye, blood seeping from between her fingers.
Herself. Kaede.
That's when she noticed the warm, sticky feeling on her hands. Kaede raised them to her face, shocked to see drying blood and bits of bloodstained flesh under her nails and mashed on her palm. She glanced back at the little girl doubled over, clutching her face and moaning in agony, and that's when the connection was made:
Kaede and Tsubaki had switched bodies.
Panic seized her, leaving her unable to move except to tremble. How can this be! I was only supposed to borrow Tsubaki's body while her soul was still in it, not switch bodies entirely! How... In that instant, Kaede remembered Tsubaki waking up right before the spell took effect. The flesh and blood on her hands, the blood seeping from Tsubaki's face…if permanent damage had been done to the right eye of the little girl, Kaede and Tsubaki could never return to their normal bodies.
Kaede moaned in mortified dread and grief, unable to subdue her emotions as she realized what had happened. Tsubaki was not supposed to wake up.
"Wha…what did you do?" Came the small, quavering voice of Tsubaki, in Kaede's body. The little girl stared upon Kaede in horror, still clutching her face with one hand. "You…I…how…Kaede, what have you done?"
Unable to bear Tsubaki's horrified, accusing stare any longer, Kaede forced herself to move, tripping and stumbling from the bed. Somehow, she managed to climb to her feet, to get to the door, to stumble out into the hallway…
The next thing she remembered, she was running, running through the forest close to the village, twigs slashing at her skin as she pushed by them, jagged pebbles and sticks cutting into her bare feet as she took each hurried step. Tears streamed down her face, her mind foggy in her horror and confusion. What have I done? How am I to face Kikyou, and Tsubaki? How am going to return to my original body? How...
Kaede collapsed in a heap by a small, shallow pond, unable to do anything else but cry. She cried until her voice cracked and her throat ached, cried until her eyes ran dry and stung, cried until she was too weak to cry any longer.
Numb in her sorrow, Kaede stared blankly at the glassy water's surface, shining from the full moon peaking through the trees. She watched the new image of herself settle as the water stilled. Flawless, porcelain skin. Full red lips. Mesmerizing blue eyes. Shimmering, well-kept hair.
Now more awe-struck than anything else, Kaede hesitantly brought her fingertips to her face, watching as her reflection did the same. Her fingers molded every curve of her face, getting to know every inch of this new image. She ran her hands over the rest of her body, examining it by touch alone as she kept her eyes locked onto the reflection of her face. She could feel her power as a miko pulsate within her, so much stronger than she had ever felt it before. This thrilled her, and she watched as the reflection of her face expressed the feeling.
I am bound to this body forever now. Or, at least until I can somehow seize the Shikon-no-Tama and return to my old self. But perhaps…perhaps this unusual fate is not something to dread or mourn over. Perhaps there can be some good out of this. With this body, I can leave behind my old, meager lifestyle and start a new one. I can shape my life so that all in these lands will know me, and learn to respect me…fear me. I can accomplish so much in this body that I could never do in my original body. Maybe…maybe I should keep it...
Kaede smiled, a wide, confident, beautiful smile, the first real smile she had ever known. Standing up, she examined her surroundings with a new pair of eyes, amazed at the beauty she could find in every leaf, and every rock—beauty that she had never known existed before. Locking away the guilt over leaving the true Tsubaki behind in her original body, her original sad, pathetic life, Kaede stepped forward, seeing her full potential spread before her. She glanced briefly to the side, paused for only a moment, and then looked away, moving on. Calmly, a snake, of the same species as earlier that day, followed closely, harmlessly, at her heels. Kaede—no, the Black Miko Tsubaki never looked back.