title: Confessions of a Shipper
AU: Coffeeshop AU
Pairing: Squared OTP and Riordan brOTP (day 1)
Monday
Dear Journal,
Hello. My name is Joan Om. (And I don't care if that's a lame way to start a journal, go away.) I decided to start this thing because I am dead bored and have nothing better to do. Honestly, my life is so uninteresting. I go to school, and then I go to work at the Coffeeshop for the Book Fanatic, better known as CftBF.
I guess something sort of interesting happened today - we got a new customer. Her name is Mels, and she's very cute, especially with Jordan, my platonic best friend/morails/parabatai/WHATEVER. And shut up, yes, it really is platonic. I ship him way too hard with Mels anyway. asdgah just look at this conversation.
JORD: Hi, may I take your or - whoa. OMG you're soooo cute. Let's get married and dancein a meadow with rainbows! My name's Jord by the way!
MELS: Oh, hi, Jordjord - I, I mean Jord. *blushes* I'm sorry!
JORD: It's fine, Melsmels. *blushes*
MELS; *blushes harder* And by the way, I totally agree on the marriage. Let's catch butterflies and ride on sunbeams together, squee!
... Okay, maybe the conversation didn't go exactly like that... but I know that's what the two of them were thinking on the inside. Seriously, it's been one day, and they already have cutesy nicknames! I mean, it's so obvious Jordan and Mels are made for each other. Alas, Jord's too shy to make a move so all they do is blush at each other.
Ooh, sudden streak of genius, I got it! I know how to make my life less boring and make the world a better place at the same time! I'm going to be matchmaker for Mels and Jord! It's going to be perfect! Don't you think I'm a genius? Yeah, I think so too. Anyway, that's enough for this entry. Good night!
Tuesday
Dear Journal,
Today I started Phase One of my awesome masterplan: give Jord a motivational speech, whip his butt into shape, and convince him to ask Mels out. So here's how it went...
ME: Okay, Jord, any second Mels is going to come in. What are you going to say to her?
JORD: Uh, I'm going to take her order?
ME: Yeah, but, aren't you going to ask her out? *flails arms for emphasis*
JORD: I... It's not like I like her or anything. *blushes*
ME: Lies! You totally do!
JORD: *blushes harder*
ME: gO DO IT! Ask her out! It's so obvious you've got a crush, and you're perfect for each other!
JORD: *splutters and blushes*
At this point, our boss Maya yelled at us to stop chatting and go to work, so my motivational speech was cut short. I'd thought I'd done a pretty good job, though. Until Mels came in and...
JORD: Melsmels! Hi! *blushes*
MELS: Hi, Jordjord. *blushes* Can I get an iced coffee?
JORD: Of course! Melsmels! *blushes harder*
MELS: *blushes harder*
JORD: *blushes harder*
YOU SEE? All they did was blush at each other! I wanted to smack Jord right there, but, well, I don't think that would've been very professional. Ah, well. There's always tomorrow...
Wednesday
Dear Journal,
I thought of a ship name for Jord and Mels. SQUARED. Because it's Jordjord and Melsmels. JordMels Squared. Or just Squared. Isn't it beautiful?
Anyway, today I started Phase Two of the plan: convince Jord how perfect Mels is for him, which went down like this...
ME: She's rather cute.
JORD: Who's cute?
ME: Oh, you know...
JORD: ...
ME: Melsmels is cute.
JORD: Did you just say Melsmels?
ME: Uh, yeah.
JORD: ** off Melsmels is mine RAWRRR
I'm not even kidding. I'm serious, this time! I know I have a tendency to exaggerate a little bit but he really did say "rawr." And the look in his eyes was murderous, murderous! I was torn between squeeing about how protective and cutesy he is with her and being scared for my life. In the end I decided to go with squeeing about how protective and cutesy he is! Progress, definitely.
... Or so I thought. Because then, Mels came in and here's what happened...
JORD: Melsmels! Hi! *blushes*
MELS: Hi, Jordjord. *blushes* Can I get an iced coffee?
JORD: Of course! Melsmels! *blushes harder*
MELS: *blushes harder*
JORD: *blushes harder*
Honestly! It's so obvious they've got it bad for each other and would be perfect together so... why don't they ask each other out? All they do is blush at each other!
Matchmaking these two is going to be harder than I thought.
Thursday
Dear Journal,
adgasdhfoa omgomgomg I can barely calm down aasdghoa omgomgomg doaoaaeo YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I SAW TODAY adsghao they're just so cutecutecutecute squeeeeee!
Okay, so now that I've gotten out my feels a bit, let me try to explain what happened. So, Mels came earlier than usual today and ordered her usual thing and her and Jord did their usual blushing thing, and I was bored and tired and a little discouraged so I left them alone, but wHEN I CAME BACK THEY WERE HUGGING! I squealed so loudly that I think I scared everyone in the shop away, but it was worth it!
I knew my matchmaking would work!
Friday
Dear Journal,
Jord and Mels are officially dating! They even have a wedding day set: TOMORROW! And I'm going to plan it! There will be singing and music and speeches and kissing and squared!
... Okay, maybe not yet. Maybe in a few months or so. Jord did promise to at least let me be a co-planner.
In other news, I got fired from CftBF. Apparently "scaring the bejesus out of the customers" by "screeching like a demonic banshee" (my boss's words, not mine) isn't allowed. Huh. It's okay, I got a new job though. I work at this place called FastFood Inn-agiNation. Jord quit his job to join me too, because he's an awesome friend like that... No, it's actually because of Mels. She comes here too! So there will be lots of Squared shippy goodness! I'm pretty excited, actually. Maybe my life won't be so uninteresting anymore. I'll finish this up with Squared's conversation this morning...
JORD: Melsmels! Hi! *blushes*
MELS: Jordjord! You work here now?
JORD: Of course! Melsmels! *blushes harder*
MELS: *blushes harder*
JORD: *blushes harder*
... I suppose some things never change.
a/n: I'm sorry for how terribly OOC everyone is. Especially Joan. Very, very sorry. I hope it was amusing, at least.