Things Change
- Midnight's Heart
He took a seat in the same chair he always sat in at five o'clock in the morning. The same chair he was in when he first met her. She was the best thing that ever happened to him. And he would never regret spending two years, three months and seven days with her. Never.
"Axel… She's gone. You need to try and move on." That voice kept interrupting his thoughts. That stupid, ignorant, mundane voice. But that voice was right… Or was it? Sure, it had been about a year and a half since she passed away, but that didn't mean he had to move on. He didn't have to do anything at all. He could sit there in his chair and drink his life away if he wanted.
And he did. He did want to drink his life away. That was the only way he could see her again.
But really? So soon? He was only twenty years old and already contemplating suicide. Was she really worth all this misery?
Yes. She was. Every fiber of his body missed that vanilla scent that embraced her… He missed the blonde hair that fell just slightly below her shoulders. Those sparkling azure eyes… Oh, did he miss her so. And yet he sat there alone, in the same chair he always sat in. The same old, musty chair that smelled like mothballs and did nothing for his sore muscles.
But it was an important piece of furniture to him. It was the one he was sitting in when he first saw her in his room, tears streaming down her sweet face as his best friend, Larxene, showed her to his couch. She was just an eighteen year old girl wanting to make it to Broadway. She was just an eighteen year old girl trying to escape an abusive boyfriend and a worthless sack of shit for a dad. She hated men. Oh, did she hate them. But Larxene had convinced her that Axel was different. And the next thing you know, they're falling head over heels for each other and can't stand being apart for merely a minute.
Oh, did he love that girl.
He took a swig of alcohol from the bottle and smirked. He didn't want to be that kind of guy. The guy that loses the love of his life and never gets back to living life. She wouldn't want him to be that kind of guy either… The kind of guy her father was.
God, would she hate him if she saw him now.
He smirked again as he took another swig, swallowing hard. Could he change? He always asked himself that. But he never knew the real answer. A sudden knock on his door made him jump a little. He put the bottle down and walked over to the door, a little aggravated that someone would be interrupting his five o'clock meeting with himself.
"Axel! Open the god damn door for Christ's sake!" That voice was all too familiar. The red head opened to door to an angry looking Demyx.
"What the fuck are you doing here at five in the morning?" Axel's voice was distant, and his words were slightly slurred. He took a seat in his chair and tried to hide the alcohol, but his eyes widened a fraction of a centimeter as the bottle was taken from him.
"Why the fuck am I here? Why the fuck am I here?" Demyx took the bottle and shook his head. "A friend of mine recently told me that she had the impression that you were starting to drink again. And once I heard that, I had to get my ass over here to knock some sense into you!" Demyx ran a hand through his dirty blond hair and took a deep breath. "Y'know, I didn't want to believe her. I was hoping she was wrong."
"Dem… I…" Axel shook his head and started to massage his temples.
"Just… Just don't. Look at you! You're a mess, Axel." He looked into the emerald eyes that used to be filled with happiness, but now were dull and aloof. Axel was his best friend, they could talk about anything and everything. But since she died, Axel didn't need to talk. Everyone knew what he was going through. But after a year and a half, Demyx was done waiting for him to get over it.
"Dem, can you just leave me be? I still miss her and I don't feel like…"
"Naminé is gone. She's gone! The only way you'll ever see her again is in a picture album. And that's it. I'm sorry to say this to you, but it's the truth. You need to get out of this house more often! You need to stop drinking!" Demyx looked over at the coffee table in front of Axel's chair and sat the bottle down, noticing a bag of white powder and a few blank bottles.
"Dem, look, I…" Axel glanced over to where Demyx was looking and quickly averted his gaze. There was no hiding it now.
"Axel. Why are you doing this?" Demyx didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. Axel hadn't done drugs since high school… And he had a reason to quit once he met Naminé. But now? What could get him to stop?
"I don't have anything to live for anymore, Demyx. She was my life. She made me happy… She made me smile. No one has ever been able to make me smile like she did." The red head leaned back in his chair and sighed.
"You don't have anything to live for?" Demyx quickly moved towards Axel and grabbed his chin, making emerald eyes meet blue. "You have me. And Larxene, and the rest of the Organization! We all care for you and I know deep down you care for us, too!"
The Organization…" Axel looked to the side, where he had his favorite photo hanging… It was of him and all his friends in the Organization. He missed them. "I would… I would like to see you all again."
Demyx turned away from Axel and smiled to himself. He was making some progress.
"Really? Are you being completely honest? You want to come back?" Pure excitement was heard in his voice, and Axel couldn't help but snicker a little.
"Yes. I'd love to chill with you guys again. I just… Do you think they'd mention her?" He was worried about that. What if they brought her up and he broke down? He wouldn't be able to face them ever again if that would happen.
"They won't if I tell them not to. And plus, I'm sure they know better, Ax." Demyx sent a quick text to Xemnas, the leader of the Organization and turned back to face Axel. "Why don't you get some sleep, take a shower and I'll meet you at the train station around six?"
Axel thought about what he was doing and nodded.
"Ok. I think I can do that." A long sigh escaped his lips as he got up out of his chair, taking a few steps towards his best friend. "Thanks Dem… I'm glad you came. I was starting to have thoughts about changing things and if you hadn't came tonight I think I would have thrown those thoughts away. Thanks."
"Hey, that's what friends are for. Get some rest, man, and I'll see you at six."
Axel squinted his eyes open just a bit as the alarm by his bed went off. God damn… I haven't set an alarm in forever. He rolled his eyes and hit it a few times, making sure it was off and would stay off. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, rubbing his eyes as he did so. Yawning, he made his way into the bathroom, taking a piss as he turned the water on in his shower with his free hand. Why did I agree to this? I don't think it's the best idea. I mean… What if they mention her? Axel shook his head, trying to not think about the one he loved as he got into the shower.
A few minutes later, the red head stepped out of the steaming shower and dried himself off. A quick glance in the mirror and he couldn't help but scorn. He loved the way he looked, but the drugs and alcohol had made him look dead. Man, I'm fuckin' pathetic. He stared at his dull, green eyes and sighed, outlining the small triangle tattoos under them. His red locks framed his face as water dripped from them onto his chest. Another sigh escaped his lips as he began to work on his hair.
"Perfect." He smiled to himself as he looked into the mirror one last time, admiring the way his hair looked. Damn, I look good, heh. He snickered a bit as he looked at the clock on the wall. Five thirty… He applied some eyeliner to his eyes in hopes of making them glow like they used to, and grabbed his Organization hoodie as he walked out the door.
"Did you tell him about the new member?" Demyx laughed nervously into the phone as he leaned against the brick wall of the train station.
"No, not yet. I thought he might change his mind about coming if I did." The blond was hoping Axel wouldn't even notice the newest member of the Organization. But then again, Axel wasn't the same Axel. He was quiet and observant. He didn't play around like he used to.
"Demyx… You know he's going to find out about it. I mean, he'll be furious that we accepted a new member without letting him have a say in it."
"Look, Xemnas. You're the leader, why are you so worried about it? You make the choices in this group, not us."
"Yes, but I always ask you guys for your opinion on things first. Don't I?" Demyx rolled his eyes and nodded.
"Yeah, you do. But our opinions aren't always what you want them to be." He frowned a bit as Xemnas laughed and saw something red in the corner of his eye. "Yo, I have to go. Ax is here."
"Don't forget to tell him. I don't need him starting anything while he's here."
"Yeah, yeah. I'll tell him." Demyx put his phone away and ran over to the red head, putting an arm around him.
"Tell me what?" Axel looked over at the blond with curious eyes. Demyx sighed and rubbed his neck a bit.
"Well… We have a new member! His name is Roxas and he's really nice. You'd like him." The blond could feel the tension rise, but for some reason they kept walking to the Organization headquarters, which was really just Xemnas' mansion. "Wait… You're not mad?"
"Why would I be mad? I wasn't around you guys for about a year, so I couldn't really have a say in what you guys did." Axel walked up to the front door and punched in the code to get in.
"Well, at least you remember our code." Demyx stepped inside the building with Axel right behind him. They made their way to the meeting room, welcomed by everyone, except the newest member.
Roxas turned his head to the side and tried to act occupied. He played with his phone a bit and what not as the other members gave Axel a hug, or shook his hand, or whatever else they were doing. But what was he supposed to do? He'd never met the guy, so was he really supposed to do anything? Get up and introduce yourself before they call you out on it! He frowned and made his way over to the group that was slowly starting to disperse.
"Hi, I'm Roxas. It's nice to finally meet you, Axel." He held out his hand in hopes of shaking hands with the older, taller man, but he quickly backed away at the look the red head was giving him. "Did I do something wrong?" Roxas was quickly pulled back by strong hands… Xemnas.
"Axel. Welcome back!" Axel welcomed the hug that Xemnas offered, but still looked into the eyes of the blond.
"Thanks, Xem. I'm glad to be back." They all took a seat at the long, beautifully dark table, Axel taking a seat beside Demyx and Larxene.
"Yo, Larx? What do you think is up with Axel?" Demyx leaned over to Larxene as Axel was talking about who knows what with Xemnas.
"Really? You haven't noticed?" She rolled her eyes as Demyx shook his head. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out her wallet, opening to a picture of her best friend, Naminé. "Look at this, and then at Roxas."
"What?" Demyx looked at the picture and then looked at Roxas. "Same blond hair… Same bright, blue eyes…"
"Exactly. I'm sure that's what's bothering Axel." She laughed a little and leaned in closer to Demyx. "I think they're even the same fuckin' height. I bet he's gay."
Demyx handed the wallet back to her and scoffed.
"You can't just assume someone's gay by just looking at their features. Gosh, you're such a bitch." He shook his head slightly as Larxene laughed at his comment. She turned to her right to talk to Marluxia.
"Demyx." The blond turned to face Axel.
"What, bud?"
"There's something about that Roxas guy. I don't like him."
"Yeah… Yeah, I know."
Later that night, after everyone was starting to clear out and go back to their own homes, Roxas thought this might be his chance to confront Axel. He ran a hand through his dirty blond spikes and made his way over to the red head who was sitting alone by the fire place.
"Hey." The blond took a seat next to him and smiled.
"Hey." The red head's voice was reluctant, but Roxas could tell that Axel wanted to talk to him, whether he admitted it or not.
"So, I'm new here. Just joined last week. I'd like to get to know everyone. And since you're like, famous here, I'd really like to hang out some time. Would that be cool with you?"
"Uh…" Axel looked at the blond out of the corner of his eye and snickered. "I guess we could. I'm thinking about hittin' the mall sometime in the next couple of days… Might get a new tattoo. If you'd like, you can come. We could hit a movie afterwards if that's cool. I'd like to start getting out of the house more. Might put in some applications for a job and what not." The red head frowned a bit, furrowing his eyebrows together a bit in frustration. Why the fuck did I just do that? I don't even know this little shit and I'm inviting him to go everywhere with me.
"Wow, yeah that sounds great. Here, do you have a cell phone?" Axel nodded and reached into his pocket to get it out, handing it to the blond as the blond did the same.
"Well, now we've got each other's numbers, so whenever you want to chill, just call me. I don't really text much, so if you can avoid that, that would be great!" Roxas laughed a bit as he spoke, making Axel smile somewhat.
"Yeah, don't worry. I hate texting too. But uh, hey. I'm gonna' get out of here, so I'll call you sometime, ok?" Axel got up and started walking to the door.
"Yeah, same here. I was starting to get a little bored. Mind if I walk with you a bit?" Axel scoffed, but couldn't help but smile as the blond caught up with him.
"Sure, I guess it's cool."
Author's Note: Man, it's been forever since I've wrote anything! I've missed it so much. But since I've graduated and I'm taking a year off before I start college, I have plenty of time to write for you guys. Let me know what you think of this story.. I've had the idea for a while now and I like it a lot. Leave a review and let me know your opinion on it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. All rights to the characters belong to Square Enix. I just created the plot.
