No Choice At All

It was a choice that we had to make. We knew that it would come, one way or another. It hung over us now, an ominous cloud that would decide our futures, whether or not we wanted it to. I spun around, anger filling me as I yanked hard on my cloak. It swirled obediently around me, but could not hide the sweet sadness on his face as his eyes, which so often I had looked into to find the strength to continue on, slid to the floor.

"So this is how it must be?" His voice was a wistful melody that tore at my self-consuming anger. I froze, the rage that had screamed out in my voice seeping away. Unable to look at him, my gaze fell to the same patch of carpet.

"I… I wish it didn't have to be." But it wasn't fair! Why did I have to make this choice; why couldn't I keep on loving him as we worked together to save the city? Why did I have to choose one or another?

But we both knew it, in our hearts. That even through the anger at fate, we could see the answer. It wouldn't be fair for those whom we had saved for us be selfish now. We couldn't let innocent people get hurt because of a mutual feeling that went deeper than anything else.

Even though I loved him, it wasn't meant to be.

"But that's how it's going to, anyway." A weak attempt at a joke tried to find a smile on his lips, ones that I had touched so often in the quiet stillness we found together. His piercing green eyes lifted up to mine, which had also risen, and he tried to smile again. "There's nothing we could do to change it, really." I shook my head.

"No. It shouldn't have to be this way. I- I don't know if I'm strong enough, Beast Boy." He stepped towards me, taking me in his arms and looking sternly into my eyes.

"I know you are, Raven. That's what made this entire thing possible. Because if you weren't strong enough to defeat your father, and control your powers, how else could you have loved me like I loved you?" Desperate, I reached upwards to his face, and touched his cheek.

"We shouldn't have to do this. I can't stop loving you, Beast Boy! Why do I have to?" He held me tighter.

"Because it's not right for us to be selfish." His words echoed my thoughts, and I hung my head, defeated. What he said, and what I knew, was true.

"But who said we had to stop loving each other?" I looked up, startled, through my tears. "I'll always love you, Raven. We just can't be together for now." And, filled with a sudden hope that banished my despair, I slipped through his arms to stand before him, lifting my head proudly.

"Then, Beast Boy, I shall love you till I die. And then we can be together. Until that day." Before I could break down completely, and lose the last shred of sanity that was holding me together, I turned and walked out swiftly. The door closed behind me, but I knew that he was smiling as I left. Passing by my former teammates, I acknowledged them with a nod and walked out to the roof as the three followed. The sun, oblivious to the pain that all five of us felt, shone warmly down on me. And, standing in the sunlight as the cloud dissipated, I let the rays cleanse me. Knowing without looking that my cloak and leotard had become their original white once more, I took the two steps to the edge and jumped.

Letting the wind carry me to the destination I had chosen, to bring me to the place where others needed my help more than the one I loved and the ones I cared for, I felt happy.

I had gone out of his life forever, but afterwards was a different story altogether.

"Raven?"

"Beast Boy!"

And the sun smiled down on the souls of two lovers finding one another again.