Title: Night Watch
Author: Musical_Junkie/Tally/Live2TiVo
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Pairing: Veronica/Lamb
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Set between seasons two and three, but no real spoilers for anything major
Summary: Veronica and Lamb cross paths during separate stakeouts.
Word Count: 1234 (The longest of the fics I've written in the past couple of weeks.)
Notes: This concept came from an ill-fated attempt I made at drawing a comic strip over a year ago. It has been refurbished for the fabulous meridian_rose in a Fic Fest at whedonland on LiveJournal.
I, Sheriff Don Lamb, do hereby agree to do one night of stakeout work to prove to my deputies that I "still have it." If I fail to last an entire night (or until I obtain the damning evidence), I will buy the entire department Starbucks every morning for a week.
Sheriff Don Lamb
*
Sheriff Don Lamb sat in his car, cursing the moment he'd told Deputy Sacks that "any idiot monkey can sit in a car taking pictures." Sacks, of course, didn't have the guts to refute him, but Deputy Hartley (the newest addition to the department) did. Before he knew it, he was signing a far from legally binding document that he was sure his co-workers would hold him to regardless.
Now, he was sitting in an unmarked car with a nearly empty cup of six-hour-old coffee, wondering how on earth that Mars girl managed to do this on a regular basis. It was this thought that reminded him that if Veronica could do it, he certainly could. Even still, he was very close to nodding off outside of the Camelot Motel, and the son-of-a-bitch he was supposed to be photographing hadn't stepped so much as a toe outside of his room.
It was going to continue to be a long night.
*
Less than a stone's throw from the unmarked car, Veronica Mars sat in her new Saturn, sipping a still-hot cup of coffee (thanks to her trusty thermos), her camera poised to shoot whenever necessary.
It was a routine job—nothing out of the ordinary. Mr. Cheater's wife, Mrs. Cheater, came into Mars Investigations crying crocodile tears, demanding proof of her husband's infidelity. Veronica had followed Mr. Cheater from work to the Camelot, unfortunately, his companion was already in the room. She'd taken a few semi-incriminating shots of his arrival, but the opportunity for a picture worth a thousand dollars had yet to arrive.
*
It was another hour until Lamb and Veronica realized the other was there. Suspecting that Mr. Cheater planned on staying the night, Veronica decided it wouldn't hurt to get some work done on one of her other cases. Without her laptop, she couldn't run the subject's details through the PI database, so she decided to give the sheriff a little wake-up call to see if he had any ideas.
It was nearly four o'clock in the morning, so Veronica figured his personal cell phone would be the best way to reach him. It wasn't the nicest thing she'd ever done, but she was bored, and taunting the sheriff was a good way to pass the time.
She found his number in her contacts and pressed 'send.'
*
It was almost 4:00 AM, and the last thing Don expected was a phone call. He was still awake, barely, and he fumbled to find his phone. He took the call without checking the number—not many people had his private number, and none of them would call at ass o'clock in the morning unless it was necessary. He didn't count on Veronica having his number.
"Hello," he said.
"Hello there, Sheriff. How are you on this lovely morning?"
Veronica. He almost hung up, but he decided that at least dealing with her would keep him awake for a while. "Mars, why are you calling me? And where did you get this number?"
"You should know by now that you have no secrets from me, Lambie-cakes."
She sounded painfully cheerful, which annoyed him to no end. "Again, to what do I owe the displeasure of this conversation?"
"I'm staking out the Camelot, and I'm bored. So, I thought 'hey, Veronica, who always turns your frown upside down?' and since everyone else on the planet was unavailable, I called you."
It took a moment for her words to register, "Wait, the Camelot?"
"Yeah, a gold-digging soon-to-be-ex-wife wanted me to get some stills of her husband cheating, so that fabulous little adultery clause in their pre-nup could be enacted. And, what are you wearing…I mean doing? Sorry, Freud and all that."
"I'm on stakeout. That new deputy thought it would be funny."
"Deputy Harris? I knew I liked him for reasons other than his piercing blue eyes…Wait, why is the sheriff's department doing stakeouts? Don't you usually like to bust in and arrest innocent bystanders instead?"
"We're gathering evidence we need to bust a prostitution ring, and we don't want to jump in before we're sure we can nail them."
"Wow, nailing prostitutes. Your deputies must be working on them day and night. I mean, you must be riding them pretty hard." It was a cheap shot, but she had to take it.
"Why, Miss Mars. I do believe that was a little crass. Does Keith know his daughter is so fond of innuendo?"
"Well, he did buy me the first season of Sex and the City for Christmas. Those ladies have really taught me a lot."
"Like what? How to drink pink martinis and walk in six inch heels without falling and getting run over by a taxi?"
Veronica laughed, "I see someone isn't watching HBO for the articles."
Lamb scoffed. "Hardly. My ex used to watch it."
Now this was far too good to let slide. "Ex? As in ex-girlfriend? You know, I wouldn't count using Madison Sinclair for your elevator escapades as having a girlfriend."
"It wasn't Madison."
Seriously, it was like a gift was being given to her from the Gods. So many jokes. "Was she one of those dark-haired librarian types? Who knows what's hiding behind those glasses?"
"She was blonde," Lamb retorted before he could stop himself.
"Really? Was her name FiFi? Trixie? Was her name Barbie and she was using you as a rebound after twenty career changes couldn't mend her broken heart after Ken dumped her?"
Don sighed. "Actually, her name was…"
"Wait! I have more. Was her name Buffy? Did she randomly disappear at nightfall carrying a wooden stake and a vial of holy water?"
"Are you done?"
"Not even close. Was her name Elle? Did she carry a Chihuahua in her purse and wear a blinding amount of pink?"
"Okay, you get one more, and then I'm hanging up."
Veronica made a big deal out of humming and um-ing while trying to think of her final jab. "Was her name Blair? Did she run a gift shop with her friends from boarding schools and have brilliant ideas?"
"You honestly couldn't do any better than that?"
"I'm tired. I've been sitting out here for over seven hours, and I'm almost out of coffee. All because Mr. Room 213 feels the need to spend the night cuddled up with his scarlet woman."
"Room 213?" echoed Lamb.
"Yeah. I've been staring at the door for so long, the numbers have been permanently imprinted into my…" Veronica trailed off, as the aforementioned door swung open. Bingo! "I have to go."
Veronica snapped her phone closed and raised her camera just in time to snap a slew of money shots. A few feet away, a very dazed and confused Sheriff did the same thing.
After the man and his other woman left the parking lot, Veronica drove away from the curb where she'd been stationed for most of the night. Lamb turned into the street going the opposite direction a few moments later.
Neither of them ever spoke of the phone call again.