Where No One Else Dares to Venture
Disclaimer: I am nowhere near being able to afford a golden toilet, so let's assume I'm not J.K. Rowling.
Severus Snape peeked around the corner to make sure no one was around.
He wasn't one to mingle with his colleagues, so he wanted to wait until the staffroom was deserted. "It probably would be, seeing as it's one in the morning", he thought. Down the corridor he went. Up a flight of stairs, down another hallway…..the staffroom really quite far from his room in the dungeons. Most of the time Severus wouldn't have been going to the staffroom in the middle of the night, much less during the day, but he inconveniently had run out of cookies. And he was hungry." All professors have the right to be hungry in the middle of the night", he thought indignantly.
Severus felt like an overgrown bat, swooping around the castle at this time. He just hoped that he wouldn't meet any real bats. That would be a nightmare in ways he did not want to mention. Looking around to make sure no one else had the idea of a midnight stroll, he continued on his way. It was really a pity that one could not aparate or disaparate within the castle. He was getting cold after fifteen minutes of walking around. The castle was quite chilly.
After five more minutes, he had reached his destination. He peered into the window. Dark. It didn't look like anyone was inside. He pushed open the door and lit a lamp. Empty, just the way he liked it. Walking briskly over to the cookie cupboard (which was quite big), he heard a scuffling noise, but thought nothing of it. It was probably the lost toad or rat of Neville Longbottom or another forgetful and inept first year. Opening the cupboard (more of a closet, really), and expecting to find cookies, Severus nearly fainted at the sight that awaited him. "This is enough to give any innocent soul seeking cookies a heart attack!", he thought angrily, but was more surprised at the sight of Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall passionately snogging each other. He scoured his mind for something-anything he could say, and came up with a high pitched, rather girlish scream. Albus and Minerva looked up, red faced and panting, looking rather embarrassed.
Severus was at a loss for words. Luckily, someone chose this moment to say something. Unluckily, it was Ron Weasley, saying the first thing that popped into his mind after witnessing a rated R scene. "bloody hell!" he screeched, causing Harry's invisibility cloak to flutter off, exposing Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "Language, Ron!", scolded Hermione, who didn't look quite comfortable, either. "And you're here because…..", Severus directed the question at Harry, who promptly answered, "We were chasing Ron's rat, Scabbers, who escaped from the boy's dormitory. He apparently seems to like cookies, as he chose to hide here, of all places. We caught him right before Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall came in here. When they walked in,we expected that they'd leave right away, but it seems that I was wrong. So we were waiting for them to go out before leaving. We had our eyes closed-most of the time." "Ah. I see. You better get back to your dormitories before I take away any house points," said Snape out of sheer discomfort of seeing something that was not meant for his eyes.
"Sorry for the inconvenience this has caused all of you," added Albus, his eyes twinkling while Minerva got steadily pinker, to the point where she could be classified as red. Harry muttered a quick "bye", and hurried off with Ron saying, "I always suspected something between the two!" Severus departed with his box of cookies, realizing why the staff didn't dare to venture to the staffroom at night. "It's much too dangerous", he realized, while vowing never to take another nighttime trip to the staffroom again
FIN
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little fanfiction!