Chapter 1

The Battle at the Ministry of Magic took a toll on the Order of the Phoenix. Harry lost his godfather, only after knowing him for a short time. Sirius Black had been a mentor, friend and leader to many of the members of the Order. Sirius was not the only casualty that night. His cousin, Nymphadora Tonks, had given her life for the cause. She was well-liked among the Order, entertaining them with her clumsy ways and metamorphmagus skills. The person who took the death of these two the hardest was the werewolf of the Order, Remus Lupin. He had been the closest of friends with Sirius and was secretly dating Tonks for the past months. Remus was never going to be the same after that night.

With everything that had been going on, Remus was able to slip away without being hounded by reporters or his fellow Order members about the events of the evening. He just wanted to get away. He couldn't deal with anyone right now and felt like he was going to be sick. The only place he thought he could go was Number 12 Grimmauld Place, knowing everyone would be preoccupied to go there. He apparated to the front doorstep and entered the house of his former best friend.

Former. Remus couldn't fathom the thought of Sirius being dead. Ever since their first year at Hogwarts, he, Sirius, James and the traitor, Peter, had been best friends. After the death of James and the betrayal of Peter, Remus and Sirius only had each other to lean on. After the night Harry and Hermione helped Sirius escape, he and Remus had enjoyed one another's company at the very house Remus was in. Voldemort's return in Harry's fourth year gave Sirius the thought that it would be a good idea to bring back the Order of the Phoenix, only if Dumbledore agreed, which he did. Soon there were countless meetings that summer with the newly formed Order of the Phoenix. Some of the members included Sirius, Remus, the older Weasleys, Mad-Eye Moody, Snape, Dumbledore, Kingsley and Tonks. Remus and Tonks had immediately connected at the first meeting and started to see each other in secret. The only other person that knew of their relationship was Sirius, who Remus had confided in everything with.

Remus blamed himself for what happened that night. He could have saved them. It was all his fault. He would never forgive himself for the deaths of his best friend and lover. Remus locked himself in Sirius's room and cried himself to sleep that night.

Remus kept to Grimmauld Place for the summer. Members of the Order, especially Hermione and the Weasleys, were starting to worry about him. They knew Harry was grieving over Sirius at the Dursleys so they didn't think much to contact him. It wasn't like Remus to shut everyone out. The Weasleys thought it would be a good idea to send Hermione to see if he was okay.

"Me?! Why me?!" Hermione protested.

"You were obviously one of his favorite students, besides Harry. Maybe he will talk to you. Everyone seems to anyway," Ginny explained.

"Just see if he's okay. It's almost the full moon and he needs to take his Wolfsbane Potion. Send an owl to Severus to see if he'll let you deliver it to him," Molly pressed.

"Okay. Snape will probably be willing to give up that task," Hermione smirked. After writing a short letter to her Potions master, Hermione sent off Pigwidgeon to Spinner's End. Within the night, Snape replied with even a shorter letter with a simple "fine". The bitter Potions master arrived to the Burrow the next day with Remus's Wolfsbane Potion.

"Here," Snape snapped, handing the potion over to Hermione. "Don't lose or break it. I'm not making another batch just because of your insolent ways. You'll just have to find someone else." And with that, he apparated.

"Well, isn't he just a ray of sunshine today?" Hermione said sarcastically to Ginny, who was watching the exchange.

"If you say so," Ginny giggled.

Hermione headed over to the Weasley fireplace and took a handful of Floo Powder. "I'll be back as soon as I can with news on Lupin. Number 12 Grimmauld Place!" Hermione yelled as she threw the powder into the fire.

Hermione stepped out of the fire in the living room of Grimmauld Place. The place looks a mess! How could anyone live in such a condition? Hermione thought to herself, examining her surroundings. The wallpaper and curtains were torn, the sofas had been destroyed and the once beautiful piano was in pieces. Lupin must still be upset.

The young witch made herself upstairs to find Sirius's room locked. She hesitantly knocked on the door, not knowing what was going to happen. "Professor Lupin?" she called. Hermione could hear sounds of moaning and shuffling coming from the other side of the door. "Are you okay?"

The door suddenly opened to relieve a mangled looking Remus. "WHAT?!" he yelled in his former student's face. Then he realized who it was. He immediately regretted using that tone, seeing the look on her face. Dammit was his only thought.

"Um, I'm just here to deliver your potion. Professor Snape sent it," the frightened Hermione managed to get out.

"Oh," Remus responded, just now noticing the potion in her hand.

Nearly in tears, Hermione handed the potion over to her former professor. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you," she said turning to head downstairs.

"Hermione, wait!" Remus called out to her. "Would you like a cup a tea?"