Isabel Evans cradled her head in her hands. She was surrounded in a world
of white. The walls…the floor…her clothes…even the food seemed to have less
and less colour these days.
She gave out a bitter laugh. God, wouldn't her therapist just love to hear that? He'd get a kick out of trying to re-analyse her for his book. As if she were just some kind of animal to be tested on. Sometimes she would just make up things to see his reaction. It amused her to see him confused, not that it was too hard to organise. He was so stupid. And hypocritical.
'Of course stereotypes don't exist Isabel. You're special…everyone is different.' She laughed again. She twirled a lock of once-bouncy-and-golden hair around her finger. Now, after 6 months in the asylum, it had become dull and lifeless…it fit in perfectly with her surroundings.
Click…click…whoosh…
"Isabel? Here are your pills sweetie. Do you need some help to get them down? No? Well I'll just watch you then. Gosh…you're looking so much better now Izz…"
Isabel nodded vacantly at the nurse as she set a bowl of pills in front of her. It was better not to talk too much, if you did, then they get suspicious that you're high or something equally inventive.
Then again, if you never said anything, they thought you were planning something.
"Gee, thanks Jennifer…you're so nice…"
Experience had taught her some tricks.
The nurse laughed idiotically, tossing her stringy black hair over her shoulder. "That's OK Izz! And you know you can call me Jen. Or Jenny. Or Jennifer," giggles "whatever you want."
Isabel fought the urge not to gag. She was so sickeningly dumb…it always struck her why she was here instead of her…at least Isabel had a mind of her own to function with. Even if it was a little…strange…at times.
She skilfully pocketed the pills and brought her empty fist up to her mouth. Then she made a show of little swallowing noises, her eyes purposely glazed as she watched Jen watch her.
"Well done Izz! You're so easy to get along with…you won't believe how boring some of the other patients are…"
Gee, I wonder why that would be. Is it because you drug them up so much that they can barely form a coherent sentence let along put up with your adolescent behaviour? "Well I guess the other patients don't know just how I special /I you are Jen. Umm…I'm feeling really tired…" yawns "do you mind if I take a nap?"
"Oh my God, of I course /I not Izz! How dumb of me! I'll see you later Isabel, have a nice nap!"
And then she was gone.
Isabel raised her head, and counted slowly and patiently to ten. She let out a long breath. Thank God. She reached into her pocket and pulled out 4 little white pills, gleaming against her pale hand. Then she got up, and walked to the other side of her 'room', a mere 2 metres away. The sheer claustrophobic nature of the room was too much too bear at times. It could…well, drive you mad. Isabel grinned insanely to herself. Maybe she really was losing her mind.
As she reached the wall, she picked up one of her only possessions in the world, and hugged it close to her body. "You'll never leave me, will you teddy?" two lifeless dots stared back at her. Isabel gently turned it over, and reached up to open its back. She pushed the pills inside to join the others. "You're my only friend in the world."
She gave out a bitter laugh. God, wouldn't her therapist just love to hear that? He'd get a kick out of trying to re-analyse her for his book. As if she were just some kind of animal to be tested on. Sometimes she would just make up things to see his reaction. It amused her to see him confused, not that it was too hard to organise. He was so stupid. And hypocritical.
'Of course stereotypes don't exist Isabel. You're special…everyone is different.' She laughed again. She twirled a lock of once-bouncy-and-golden hair around her finger. Now, after 6 months in the asylum, it had become dull and lifeless…it fit in perfectly with her surroundings.
Click…click…whoosh…
"Isabel? Here are your pills sweetie. Do you need some help to get them down? No? Well I'll just watch you then. Gosh…you're looking so much better now Izz…"
Isabel nodded vacantly at the nurse as she set a bowl of pills in front of her. It was better not to talk too much, if you did, then they get suspicious that you're high or something equally inventive.
Then again, if you never said anything, they thought you were planning something.
"Gee, thanks Jennifer…you're so nice…"
Experience had taught her some tricks.
The nurse laughed idiotically, tossing her stringy black hair over her shoulder. "That's OK Izz! And you know you can call me Jen. Or Jenny. Or Jennifer," giggles "whatever you want."
Isabel fought the urge not to gag. She was so sickeningly dumb…it always struck her why she was here instead of her…at least Isabel had a mind of her own to function with. Even if it was a little…strange…at times.
She skilfully pocketed the pills and brought her empty fist up to her mouth. Then she made a show of little swallowing noises, her eyes purposely glazed as she watched Jen watch her.
"Well done Izz! You're so easy to get along with…you won't believe how boring some of the other patients are…"
Gee, I wonder why that would be. Is it because you drug them up so much that they can barely form a coherent sentence let along put up with your adolescent behaviour? "Well I guess the other patients don't know just how I special /I you are Jen. Umm…I'm feeling really tired…" yawns "do you mind if I take a nap?"
"Oh my God, of I course /I not Izz! How dumb of me! I'll see you later Isabel, have a nice nap!"
And then she was gone.
Isabel raised her head, and counted slowly and patiently to ten. She let out a long breath. Thank God. She reached into her pocket and pulled out 4 little white pills, gleaming against her pale hand. Then she got up, and walked to the other side of her 'room', a mere 2 metres away. The sheer claustrophobic nature of the room was too much too bear at times. It could…well, drive you mad. Isabel grinned insanely to herself. Maybe she really was losing her mind.
As she reached the wall, she picked up one of her only possessions in the world, and hugged it close to her body. "You'll never leave me, will you teddy?" two lifeless dots stared back at her. Isabel gently turned it over, and reached up to open its back. She pushed the pills inside to join the others. "You're my only friend in the world."