Harry Potter and the Phoenix Conspiracy

Regulus Alphard Black the fifteenth was hiding in a cave.

He had come upon hard times since stealing something precious of the Dark Lord's. He knew that someday, he would be found.

But it did not matter, for the locket…was gone.

He had long since destroyed it and its magical contents, leaving behind a note for Lord Voldemort.

A knock came at the door of the cave.

"Who is it?" asked R.A.B. uncertainly.

He heard a cold, high-pitched laugh. Panicking, he ran away from the door to his cave. However, before he was even a few meters away, a small, ugly-looking rat with a silver paw slipped under the door and chased after him.

Black ran, glancing behind as he went. There was a water tunnel to the ocean if he could just get far enough…

He looked again at the mouse, but in its place was a small, ugly-looking man, with a silver hand.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" exclaimed Wormtail.

R. A. B. was dead.

Chapter 2

Harry Potter was at number four Privet Drive for the very last time.

"Aunt Petunia? Uncle Vernon?" he asked. "I'm leaving."

"Oh," grunted Vernon.

"Wait," said Petunia. "There's something I have for you."

And she held out a swishy wand. "Good for Charms," she said. "It was your mother's."

Harry blinked, confused. "Wait," he said, "You have a wand? I thought you disowned my parents."

"No, Harry," said Aunt Petunia, "I can do magic. Watch."

She waved the wand and muttered a charm, setting fire to Uncle Vernon's moustache. Then she pointed it at Dudley, who suddenly became extraordinarily skinny and healthy. He was unrecognizable.

"Wow," said Harry, "That's cool. Thanks a lot. For everything."

Then he turned to walk out the door. "Hang on," he muttered, "Hey, Dud, what was it you saw that time two years ago?"

Dudley turned very redder. "I saw...myself chucking my playstation out the window…"

Harry grinned. "Thanks," he said, "I've been wondering."

Then he walked out the door.

Ron and Hermione were waiting outside.

"Oh, hello Harry," they said together, looking embarrassed, "We weren't having a private conversation or anything."

"That's good," said Harry cluelessly. "Shall we get on then?" He held out his wand hand, and the Knight Bus appeared.

"Hello and welcome to the Knight Bus," said an unfamiliar young man. Harry paused, expecting Stan Shunpike's strange accent. Stan was in Azkaban, though, held without charges.

"Three to the Burrow, please" he said.

"Fifteen sickles for a brush and hot chocolate," said the man.

Harry held out 45, and they boarded the Bus.

"The Burrow!" shouted Ernie, the driver.

There was a bang, and the trio was thrown back as the Bus sped along. Within moments, they were at the old tall house that was the Burrow. There was a large commotion. Fleur Delacour was wearing a white dress, and Bill Weasley, the eldest of the brothers, was standing in a nice suit.

"Hi, Fleur," said Ron.

"'Arry!" exclaimed Fleur. She ran over and kissed him on the cheek.

Ron looked disgruntled, but Hermione looked at him and he quickly forced a grin.

Harry saw Ginny approaching, and quickly made his excuses and ran away. He didn't want to talk to Ginny, because he had recently ditched her for noble and foolish reasons.

"Harry, wait!" said Ginny.

He kept walking away.

"Batbogeyus!" cried Ginny.

Bats began to fly out of Harry's nose, assaulting his face.

"All right, all right," he cried, "Gerremoffme!"

Ginny waved her wand. "Hi Harry," she said, "Plans for school?"

"Not going to school, Ginny," said Harry pompously.

"Oh," she said, unsurprised, "Where are you going?"

"Godric's Hollow," he said, "and Grimmauld Place, and then off to kill Lord Voldemort,"

"Sounds fun," said Ginny bitterly. Then she shook her head decisively. "I'm coming," she said.

"No, you're not," said Harry bluntly.

"Yes, I am, and you can't stop me," said Ginny.

"Ginny – I told you – too dangerous – no – Ginny."

"Screw you," said Ginny.

"But – "

"Batbogeyus!" Ginny exclaimed again, and she walked away furiously.

Harry collapsed under the assault of Bat Bogeys.

Bill and Fleur were married without much trouble. The Hogwarts Express would be leaving later that month. None of them, however, had any plans of going to Hogwarts. They didn't tell Mrs. Weasely this. So they went to Diagon Alley, and instead of buying spellbooks and robes, they bought broomsticks, hex books, and Shield Cloaks from Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes.

Fred and George beamed.

They boarded the Hogwarts Express. On arriving at the grounds, Harry, Ron and Hermione dashed away from the crowd, out of the gates, and prepared to disapparate.

"Next stop, Godric's Hollow" said Harry.

There were four loud cracks, and they went.

Godric's Hollow was a house. According to the plaque, it had owned by Godric Gryffindor, and his descendants had possessed it to the day of its destruction.

"Harry," said Hermione, "Do you realize what this means,"

"No…" said Harry, bewildered.

"It means," said Ron, feeling bright and pompous, "That you're the last living descendant of Godric Gryffindor."

Harry gaped at him. "I'm what?" he asked.

"Harry," said Ron, as though he were speaking to a little boy, this house was destroyed in the hands of your father – he inherited it. That means that you inherited the house of Godric Gryffindor. Stupid."

"Oh, right." Said Harry, feeling stupid. Then he paused. "So what? That still means that Hermione is better than I am at magic. Not like it makes a difference, eh? Unless you're Malfoy or something."

Hermione beamed. "Thanks, Harry."

They wandered around the wrecked house aimlessly. Then Harry found the tombstones.

"James Harold and Lily Evans Potter" he read. "Fantastic Aurors, and good people. Killed in the last battle."

He wept. "Oh man," he said, "it's too bad they're dead. That's why I'm trying to save the world and all."
Ron and Hermione patted him on the back comfortingly.

"OK!" said Harry. "Good to have that sentimental scene out of the way, now the plot can move on to finding Horcruxes."

"Hooray!" said Hermione, Ron, and someone else.

"Harry," said Hermione, "I've been thinking. Shut up, Ron. Anyway, Riddle left his soul at the House of Gaunt, and the cave, right? What about the orphanage!"

"That's it, you're brilliant," said Harry, "maybe we'll find the cup there."

They went to the orphanage in London.

It was eerily empty. "Riddle must have killed them," said Harry, "The jerk!"

So they searched for the cup, and there it was, sitting innocently on a coffee table. "Helga Hufflepuff's" whispered Hermione reverently. Ron reached out.

"Wait!" shouted Harry. He waved his wand and lifted a scrap of paper off the ground, and levitated it against the cup.

There was a loud bang, and the paper exploded. Around them, the building began to catch fire.

"See?" said Hermione.

Harry grabbed the cup and ran. Then he smashed it against the pavement. It didn't break.

"Hermione," he said, "What do we do with this?"

"I dunno, kill it!"

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

The Horcrux exploded. It was dead. Gone.

"Yay!" they shouted.

"OK, how about the graveyard?" asked Harry, "bet there's one there!"

"No! Harry, that's where they meet! That must be where the snake is!"

"Oh, right."

"Where else would Riddle hide his soul?"

"One at Hogwarts, one where he grew up, one where he tortured somebody, one where his ancestors lived. Hmm…"

"Borgin and Burke's!" exclaimed four voices at once.

"Hey," said Ron. "The narrator just said FOUR voices!"

"Ginny!" they all exclaimed. Ginny looked stubborn.

"Hi" she said

"Knockturn Alley" they cried, and disapparated.

At Borgin and Burke's, they walked in and asked if he had anything of Rowena Ravenclaw's.

"Why yes," he said, looking oily. "I can't sell it though. Except for a very high price."

Harry shrugged. "Can I see it?"

"Sure," said Borgin, "For fifty Galleons."

"All right," said Harry.

Borgin pulled out the artifact. "Here," he said, still oily. "This bookend belonged to ravenclaw. It's even got the raven on it."

"Stand back" warned Harry.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" he shouted.

The bookend exploded.

Borgin fell back.

"Oops," said Harry. "RUN!"

They disapparated. "Yay!" They shouted.

"Assuming that R.A.B. took care of the locket," said Harry, "which we will, cause I feel like it, time to go to the graveyard."

There were four cracks and they arrived.

Nagini the snake saw them. "Hang on," hissed Harry in Parseltounge.

"OK," said Nagini.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Shouted Harry in Parseltongue.

Nagini soared backwards, hitting Lord Voldemort on the head.

"Yay!" they all shouted.

"Harry Potter!" said Voldemort. "Hi!"

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" They all shouted at once.

There was much green light. Voldemort, who had planned on a long drawn-out conversation, was taken aback. Then he was blasted into the stratosphere. He fell back down and landed in the Ministry of Magic.

Back at the graveyard, there was much rejoicing, and romance.

"Augh!" shouted Rufus Scrimgeour, the Vampire. "Oh, he's dead. YES! I did it! Contact the Prophet at once! I killed You-Know-Who!"

The End