"THE PROBLEM WITH SAKURADITE"


PRESENTATION #1

Shiro had summoned DALEK Gary, the Bakeneko Kunoichi, Gnol & the Orochis, and the Cyber Leader to his lab for a meeting. He was going to perform a presentation on the results of his latest project.

"Well everyone, thanks for coming. First off, I would like to thank Gnol Gnauh for providing me with the raw material I needed for my newest project," stated Shiro and Gnol nodded, acknowledging the thanks. "Now then, as you can see here on this table I've created a new form of cybernetic life form. Using a Darkloid for a base, I've cybernetically converted it into a Cyber-Darkloid, CyberDark for short." Said CyberDark was lying on the table, motionless.

Shiro continued, "I've also infused him with Sakuradite. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to have any effect on him. But we will keep trying, rest assured. We will not rest until we've harnessed the power of Sakuradite." He didn't notice the CyberDark rising from its table and getting off to stand behind him threateningly. It snarled.

"What?" Shiro turned. "What the?" The CyberDark lunged and knocked him to the floor. They rolled along the floor, with the CyberDark putting Shiro in a chokehold.

"AH! GET HIM OFF ME! GET HIM OFF ME! GARGH! GAH!" Shiro finally threw the CyberDark off him and drew his Oathbreaker to bisect the cybernetic demon at the waist, both halves falling to the floor.

Shiro panted, before regaining composure "OK, so apparently the CyberDark is a little more vicious and hard to control than I expected. Must've been because of the Sakuradite. I did not know that. But that's OK. That's alright. It's just a little a setback. We can use this to our advantage and, um…" He heard a snarl at his feet. "What the?"

The upper half of the CyberDark grabbed hold of his leg and Shiro hopped around panicking, screaming, "ARGH! SOMEBODY GET THIS THING OFF ME! SOMEBODY GET IT! SOMEBODY GET IT! THIS THING IS CRAZY!" He finally got it off and stabbed it through the face.

Shiro panted, "OK! OK! Apparently he was not easy to kill either! But that's OK! It's totally, totally under control! We have people working around the clock to get this under control!" The leg suddenly jumped on him, wrapping around his head. "GAH! ARGH! GARY! GARY, GET IT OFF ME! GET THIS CRAZY THING OFF ME! THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE! ANYBODY! SOMEBODY! HELP ME! GIRLS! SERIOUSLY, HELP ME!" DALEK Gary and the Bakeneko Kunoichi immediately went to help their master.

All the while, Gnol was laughing his ass off.


PRESENTATION #2

"Well, I am pleased to report that we've reached the milestone of our Sakuradite experiments," said Shiro proudly to his audience who'd come for another presentation. Gnol grinned as he anticipated the disaster which would occur.

He prompted as a Cyberman marched over. "This is Cyberman Unit 45 and he is the first successful recipient of Sakuradite. Now, while the Sakuradite did not turn him into a bloodthirsty and feral beast like the CyberDark from before, the Sakuradite might make him a little…er…unstable."

"Oh, this is gonna be good," Gnol murmured.

Shiro asked, "So, Unit 45, how do you feel?"

"I feel good! I feel bad! I feel great! I feel awful! I hate puppies! I love kittens! I love you! I hate you!" The Cyberman trembled and grunted before attacking Shiro.

"ARGH! NOT AGAIN!" Shiro screamed. "GARY, GIRLS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!-? GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME! HELP ME! GET HIM OFF! HE'S CRAZY!"


PRESENTATION #3

Shiro spoke, "Well, people. We finally found out what was wrong with our Sakuradite experiments. Apparently we got a bad batch of Sakuradite. It was past its expiration date. Did not know about that. Never knew it had an expiration date. I never knew it was possible for this stuff to go bad." He paused, "Who would have thunk?" He continued, "But anyway…" He paused and noticed something. "Momoneko, are you chewing gum?"

Momoneko's eyes widened as she realized she'd gotten caught. "Uh…yes, Juuyon-sama," she confessed.

"What did I tell you about chewing gum during a meeting?" he asked.

"Don't chew gum during a meeting," Momoneko answered in embarassment. Shiro strode forward with a napkin.

"Spit it out," he ordered and she did. "Seriously, why do people chew this crap anyway?" he mumbled. "So, as I was saying. Now that we have this new batch of Sakuradite, we are now ready to resume our experiments on old test subjects."

He heard a snarl behind him and turned to see the CyberDark and Cyberman Unit 45 from before. "Hey, how did you both get out of your cages?" They lunged at him. "ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! NO! IT'S STILL NOT WORKING! WHY ISN'T IT WORKING!-? IT'S STILL NOT WORKING! GET NEW SAKURADITE! GET NEW SAKURADITE! THIS BATCH IS STILL BAD!"

The CyberDark was carrying Shiro off as he cried, "GIRLS! GIRLS, HELP ME! GARY, HELP ME! DO SOMETHING! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!-? YOU'RE NOT HELPING ONE BIT! WHY ISN'T ANYONE HELPING ME!-? HELP ME!" Gary and the Bakeneko Kunoichi went to aid their master.

Gnol was laughing hard as he watched. "Now this is entertainment!" he laughed.

"YOU'RE ALL FIRED! I'M GETTING NEW MINIONS! I'M HAVING YOU ALL REPLACED BY CYBERMEN AND DALEKS! I MEAN IT!" Shiro screamed.


KAMEN RIDER CHROME: Wanted to do something like those EmGo Skits I found on YouTube. Just for fun. Nothing more.