A/N: Yeah, I totally busted out a 6k word chapter for you! :) There are going to be a lot of twists throughout the story, but please bear with me! There will be lots of drama, romance, and angst. I will also mention other characters more often. Oh, and there will be different couple pairings, just a warning. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy!
Warning: Language.
Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Glee.
Four years. That's how long it's been since Sergeant Finn Hudson has seen any of the people that he loves. Getting off of the plane and seeing his mom and step-dad waiting for him was definitely surreal. Unable to help himself, the tall brunette ran into the arms of his parents. Sure, he was 22 now, but unbearable relief was surging through him at that moment. His time spent in the Army was… words couldn't even describe it. He had made new friends and witnessed horrible things happen to them, ranging from amputations to death. Some of them had a wife, children, or family waiting for them to return. Finn couldn't even imagine what it was like for the loved ones of those who died fighting for their country. He was one of the lucky ones, returning home with only a few battle scars and many haunting stories.
"I'm so glad that my baby is okay!" Carole cried as she tightened her grip on her son.
To lighten the mood, Finn let out a small chuckle. "I wouldn't leave you, mom." Though he tried to sound confident, his voice was shaking. He couldn't help it. Instead of being in the middle of the desert, he was in his mother's arms. There was no other place he'd rather be. Well, except…
"You didn't tell Quinn that I'm back, right?" he questioned, anxiety peaking his voice.
His mother pulled back and smiled at him, though happy tears were still falling down her cheeks. "No, dear, I didn't. Would you mind telling me why?"
A slightly embarrassed smile crossed his face. "I just… want to surprise her by showing up at her door."
"I'm sure that she'll be more than pleased." Carole claimed, her features softening.
"We brought your truck because we figured that you would want to go see her immediately." Burt said, clasping Finn's shoulder.
"Thank you so much." Finn stated sincerely. The only other place that he'd rather be was with the girl that he had never stopped loving, despite the horrible things that he had experienced and witnessed.
"You look… amazing, by the way, sweetie." his mother commented, looking him up and down with a smile on her face.
"Thanks." he murmured, flushing ever so slightly.
Finn glanced down at his army-green uniform with a growing proud smile. Putting all of the bad memories aside, he had actually made it to the rank of Sergeant within four years. That wasn't entirely an uncommon thing to accomplish, but he was more than proud of himself for doing it. It had earned him a lot of respect among his squad, too. He really believed that he had honored his father's memory to the greatest extent.
Another thing that was different about him was that he was more built and had more muscle. Although it was a little silly to care about it, he was proud to say that he now had a six pack. Aside from his physique, everything else about him had pretty much remained the same, though his hair was a little shorter than before.
"Did you need any spare clothes or want to get something to eat before you leave..?" Carole wondered.
"No, I'm fine." he assured her. When he saw the worried look that came across her face, he added, "I ate on the plane and I have a few pairs of clothes in my bag." He patted his worn duffle bag for emphasis.
"But are you going to be okay for the drive to Yale? It's a long drive…"
With a smile on his face, Finn stated, "If I get hungry or tired I'll do something about it immediately. You don't have to worry, mom. I'll be fine."
"I'm your mother. Therefore, I am always going to worry." Carole promised in a matter-of-fact tone.
Finn laughed before glancing at the clock on the wall of the lobby. 2:35 P.M.
"I should probably get going soon if I want to get there by the time the sun goes down." he commented with an apologetic look on his features.
"Oh, of course!" his mother exclaimed. She then pulled him into another hug and rambled on about calling her if he needed anything and safety precautions. He simply nodded along.
Once she pulled away, Burt gave him a quick hug and said quietly, "Take your time, son. I know how much you want to be with your girl." He then quickly told him which parking lot the truck was in and handed him the keys. Afterwards, he pulled away and grabbed Carole's hand.
Finn tossed his step-father a thankful smile before muttering a few more goodbyes and turning around, duffle bag on his shoulder, and walking toward the parking lot. It was an understatement to say that he was extremely excited to see Quinn.
For the majority of the six hour drive, he wore a lopsided grin that seemed to be permanently etched onto his face.
"This is it." Finn mumbled to himself as he stood outside of the building with the name Helen Hadley Hall engraved into the wall. Before he had arrived at the university, he made sure to call Judy and ask her where Quinn lived. As he pushed the front door open, he began to gradually become more nervous. Every now and then, he would fidget with the bouquet of roses he held in his hand. Normally, he would go with lilies or daisies, but this was a special occasion. 'I'm finally going to see her!' he exclaimed to himself enthusiastically.
While he made his way up the second flight of stairs, he noticed that there were quite a few students out and about. Then again, it was a Saturday night. Not too surprisingly, he received a lot of curious glances. Wanting to stick with his "surprise" plan, he decided to stay in his uniform. It probably wasn't exactly normal to see a soldier in a Yale dorm.
"He's kind of hot." A dark-haired girl whispered to her friend as she passed the tall man. Almost at once, Finn felt a small blush rise to his cheeks. Unfortunately, the Army didn't teach him how to keep that under control.
Finn had just made it to the fourth floor when he heard something that he would never in a million years forget: her laugh. As if being drawn by a magnet, he slowly took a few steps forward before turning the corner. When he caught sight of the blonde, he felt the world slow and all he could see was her. She still looked as beautiful as ever and her hair seemed a couple of inches shorter. He only briefly paid attention to that, though, because he felt a light feeling fill him when he saw the expression on her face. She looked happy. It was definitely a nice change from the look of absolute sorrow that he had witnessed the last time that he saw her. A wide smile instantly came across his face; he had forgotten just how much he loved that smile of hers. And her laugh? It was the best sound that he had ever heard.
All too soon, reality began to catch up with him. Finn had been paying so much attention to Quinn that he didn't even notice the other person with her. A curly-haired guy… who was holding her hand. Jealousy and confusion began to overwhelm Finn. 'Who the hell is that?'
Not wanting to be spotted, he turned the corner once more before spinning around and sticking his head out. He felt ridiculous and extremely childish, but he had to know what was going on.
Quinn had her back to the wall and was smiling at puffball while he held her hand and placed his free hand on the wall next to her. Luckily, there was no one else in the hallway, so Finn was able to easily eavesdrop.
"I had a great time." Quinn said softly, her voice tinged with… affection?
"Me too, babe." the guy replied.
'Why the fuck is he calling her babe?' Finn fumed to himself. A sickening feeling began to creep into him as an absolutely stupid idea crossed his mind. Quickly, he shook his head and focused his attention back on the pair.
The guy with the stupid hair style began to lean toward Quinn. His next words caused Finn's blood to boil.
"I love you."
It took a great deal of self-discipline to not run around the corner and beat the crap out of this dude. However, he immediately forgot that thought when he saw Quinn wrap her hands around the guy's neck. Suddenly, he felt cold. 'She isn't really going to say it back to this tool, is she? She can't! I thought she said that she would wait for me… God, please don't say it. Please don't say it…'
His rambling almost made him miss the four words that broke his heart.
"I love you, too." she whispered. Finn saw the douche bag smile before leaning in and kissing Quinn. Kissing his girl. Kissing the love of his life. All he could do was stare as the two kept their lips locked for about a minute.
'This is all a dream, right? Quinn… she couldn't have given up on me, right? S-she promised me that she would wait. I-I gave her a promise ring… I told her that I would always love her. I told her that I would come back to her. Today was supposed to be the day that everything was right again. But everything is not right… she just told some asshole that she loved him. That she loved him and not me… Did she really forget about everything that we shared together? I thought that what we had was more than some high school romance… I thought that it was forever. What the fuck-'
He abruptly snapped out of his rambling when he heard her speak again.
"F-Finn..?" She clearly was unsure about whether or not it was him.
It was then that he realized that he had stepped out of his hiding spot. Quickly, he looked around. No sign of the guy. 'Maybe it was only a hallucination…' he mused to himself, undeniably hopeful.
"Hi, Quinn." he responded softly. There was a series of different emotions flickering in the blonde's gorgeous hazel eyes before they finally settled on realization. Immediately, she ran up to him and threw her arms around him, tears of happiness cascading down her face. Naturally, Finn wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, becoming intoxicated by the sweet Vanilla scent of her hair.
"God, I've missed you so much." he murmured against her hair.
"I've missed you too." she choked out, tightening her grip on him.
Finn had been envisioning this moment for so long. However, his troubled thoughts got the better of him and he gently pushed her away.
"Uhm… who was that?" he asked casually. Though he didn't learn to control blushing, he did learn to prevent his emotions from coloring his voice.
Quinn pulled back and looked at him. Finn met her gaze, but immediately wished that he hadn't because he could've sworn that she looked guilty.
"W-who?" she inquired in a shaky tone, looking away from him after a second.
"The curly guy..." he said slowly.
When she didn't reply, he felt his heart begin to crack. "You know, the guy that you claimed to love and then sucked his face for about a minute."
Reluctantly, Quinn turned her gaze back to his.
A humorless laugh escaped the tall brunette's lips when he noticed the 'deer-caught-in-the-headlights' look she sported.
She gazed into his eyes as she claimed, "It's not what you think, Finn."
"Then exactly what is it?" he retorted harshly.
"I… I didn't mean it. I don't love him."
A look of hurt flashed into his brown orbs. Much to his dismay, his emotions got the better of him. "So, I'm guessing that you also didn't mean it when you claimed to love me, right?"
When she heard those absolutely stupid words come out of his mouth, she immediately placed her hands on either side of his face. "No, Finn! I never lied to you. You're the love of my life and you always will be."
Finn only vaguely listened to her. There was something different when her hands touched him… something missing. An icy trickle made its way down his spine when he realized what it was.
Slowly, he placed his hand over her left one and pulled it away from his face. He stared at her delicate hand for a good ten seconds, making sure that he wasn't imagining things. Nope. The funny thing is that he wasn't imagining anything. Literally. There was nothing on her hand. More specifically, there was nothing on her ring finger.
As soon as Quinn noticed the look on Finn's face when he stared at her now bare hand, she paled. "Finn, please let me explain! This is not what you-"
"Stop." he cut her off firmly. Dropping her hand, he said in an unreadable tone, "I'm sorry that I expected things to be the same." Under his breath, he muttered, "Man, I'm so stupid." He shook his head before backing away from her and turning around.
"W-where are you going?" she cried.
Finn chose to ignore her, but soon stopped walking when he realized that he still had the bouquet in his hands. Immediately, he turned around and walked back to her. He then placed the roses in her hand. Their eyes met once more, but for once, he had to look away. "These are for you."
There were so many things that he wanted to tell her, but he just couldn't. She had moved on, and he needed to accept it. His eyes traveled up once more to her face before he said, "Goodbye, Quinn. And I wanted to tell you congratulations for graduating."
"I don't graduate for another two months." she whispered hoarsely.
Finn nodded. "I know. But I won't be here for that."
"Why not?!" she demanded, tears beginning to fall rapidly down her face.
"Because we're done, Quinn. All I want is for you to be happy, and you're clearly happy with that other dude. You don't need me. Hell, you don't even love me anymore." He couldn't help but sound bitter toward the end.
"That isn't true! Please just let me explain, Finn!" she pleaded.
After exhaling loudly, he shook his head. "What is there to explain? You don't love me anymore. You obviously don't give a damn that I had promised myself to you forever. Just… I won't bother you anymore." After a few seconds, he stated in a harsh yet sarcastic tone, "It was nice seeing you."
Quinn was having trouble breathing. Not wanting him to leave yet, she cried out on a whim, "You promised me that you wouldn't break my heart again!"
At that, Finn released a bark of a laugh. "I broke your heart? After four fucking painful years of being away from you, I come home and find out that you moved on! I thought about you every single god damn day. The thought of being back with you was what got me through the shitty times. How do you think I feel right now?"
She flinched at the lack of warmth in his words. "What about me, Finn? How do you think I felt while you were gone? Over the past four years, I've gotten six letters from you! More than 1,400 days and I only received six! Most of them were months apart too. Do you have any idea how much it hurts to think that the love of your life is dead?"
This isn't what Finn wanted to hear. Slowly, he began to back away. "If you loved me as much as you claimed to, you wouldn't have moved onto some puffy haired douche."
"Are you even listening to me?" she yelled.
As the seconds passed, Finn was coming closer and closer to completely losing his composure. In an unusually cool voice, he said, "Okay, Quinn. You're right and I'm wrong. You got your heart broken and I didn't. Either way, I'm done. I hope you have a happy life." He then turned around and rounded the corner. "Have a nice night!" he hollered over his shoulder before sprinting down the stairs. He didn't look back once as he made his way to his truck.
Originally, Finn had planned on having a happy reunion with Quinn and then staying with her for the next few days. That obviously wasn't going to happen. Usually, he would've broken down by now. After all, this was by far the most painful breakup that he had experienced with the beautiful blonde. Well, with anyone, actually. 'Why the fuck would she cheat on me again?' Okay, he wasn't entirely sure if it was considered cheating, but in his state of mind, it was.
Finn glanced at the clock on the dashboard and chuckled. It was two in the morning and he was driving back to Lima, Ohio. Wasn't his life a success? It felt as if without Quinn, all he was going to be was a lame ass Lima loser.
The fact that the radio only played sickening love or break-up songs made everything a thousand times worse. 'What happened to all of the good music? Why can't there be more music like there was in the 80's and 90's? Some nice classic rock? Not some fucking mushy song about everything ending up perfectly and the couple getting their perfect ending.'
When another seemingly stupid song began to play on the radio, he was about to shut it off but stopped when he heard the lyrics. Immediately, he turned the volume up.
"Yeah, I, I know it's hard to remember,
The people we used to be
It's even harder to picture
That you're not here next to me
You say it's too late to make it,
But is it too late to try?
And in our time that you wasted,
All of our bridges burned down"
'This is more like it.' He thought to himself.
"I've wasted my nights,
You turned out the lights,
Now I'm paralyzed
Still stuck in that time, when we called it love,
But even the sun sets in paradise
I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone, baby
It's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?
If happy ever after did exist,
I would still be holding you like this
All those fairytales are full of shit
One more fucking love song, I'll be sick"
He couldn't help but think how this song expressed exactly how he felt at the moment.
"Oh, you turned your back on tomorrow
'Cause you forgot yesterday
I gave you my love to borrow,
But you just gave it away
You can't expect me to be fine,
I don't expect you to care
I know I've said it before,
But all of our bridges burned down
I've wasted my nights,
You turned out the lights,
Now I'm paralyzed
Still stuck in that time, when we called it love,
But even the sun sets in paradise"
Immediately, he jumped in on the chorus.
"I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone, baby
It's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?
If happy ever after did exist,
I would still be holding you like this
And all those fairytales are full of shit
One more fucking love song, I'll be sick
Now I'm at a payphone"
By the time that the rapping portion of the song started, Finn had pulled into the nearest bar and shut the engine off. He didn't even care enough to look at the name of the bar or find out where he was. All he knew was that he was somewhere outside of Lima. Grabbing his wallet, he hopped out of the truck, slammed the door, and stalked over to the front door
Taking a seat at the bar, he waved the bartender over to him.
"What can I get you?" the older man questioned, clearly not fazed by the fact that it was almost three in the morning.
"Can I get a shot of your finest tequila?"
"Son, that's not a good idea if you plan on driving home." the man replied uneasily.
Finn gave him a hard look. "I don't plan on driving. Can you just pour it?"
He nodded once before grabbing a shot glass and a bottle of tequila. Once he finished, he stated, "Let me know if you want anything else."
"'Kay…" Finn muttered before downing the drink. It felt a lot like acid, but it soothed him.
About three drinks in, he was aware that someone had approached him. When they tapped him on the shoulder, he released an annoyed sigh before turning around to face them.
"Finn Hudson...?" they asked uncertainly.
For the first time in hours, his signature dopey grin appeared on his face. He certainly didn't expect to see this person back in a random bar near Lima.
The minute that Finn disappeared from her sight, Quinn felt herself shatter into pieces. Hastily, she pulled out her room key and stormed into her dorm. Once she slammed the door shut, she threw herself onto her bed and broke down. This was not how this day was supposed to happen. 'Why wouldn't he just let me explain?' she thought to herself miserably. As her sobs began to rack her body, she gradually let her mind drift to that night when she obviously messed everything up.
"C'mon, Q! Please come with me to the lounge tonight! The karaoke machine is going to be set up!" Danielle, her roommate, pleaded.
Quinn sighed before sitting up on her bed. "I just don't feel like going out, D."
Danielle marched over to her bed before plopping down. "Why not?"
Looking down, Quinn murmured, "It's been three years today."
"Since when..?" her roommate wondered, clearly not remembering.
"Since Finn left." the blonde choked out, trying her best not to cry.
Almost at once, her roommate crossed the room and embraced her. "It's okay." she murmured in a soothing tone. After a few seconds, she said, "I think that it'll be good for you to hang out with your friends. Just to take your mind off of things for a little while."
Taking a few seconds to ponder the idea, Quinn nodded once. "Alright. I'll meet you down there in five, okay?"
"Okay!" the brown-haired girl chirped. With that said, she bolted out of the room, leaving Quinn by herself.
Although she said that she would be down in five minutes, Quinn took her time. After all, she was only planning on being down there for about ten minutes before coming back to the dorm to sulk.
After putting on mascara, she looked herself over in the mirror. Of course, she looked perfectly fine on the outside. More than fine, actually. However, she was completely screwed up on the inside. Despite her attempts not to, she had cried herself to sleep almost every single night since Finn had left. Before he left, she would have peaceful, happy dreams. For the past three years, her dreams have turned into nightmares. Most of them revolved around Finn getting killed in some way or another. Sleep became more of a job than a luxury.
Slowly, her mind began to drift to thoughts about the boy, now man, that she loved. Already, she was forgetting things about him. She couldn't remember how it felt to be in his arms; she couldn't remember the electric spark that she felt whenever they kissed.
Today had been harder on her than the other two anniversaries. Usually, her dearly missed boyfriend would send her a letter that would arrive a few days before this horrible day, and she would take comfort in his loving, scrawled words. However, the letter didn't come this time. In fact, she hadn't heard from him in over eight months. Quickly, she shut her eyes and took calming breaths. She didn't want to disappoint her friend by ditching her.
After about a minute, she opened her eyes and smiled at her reflection. She then made her way down to the lounge of her building.
It was a Friday night, so the cozy lounge was already fairly packed. As usual, there was some drunken student singing in a very pitchy voice to some rock song. Although she rarely sang anymore, she could still tell when somebody sounded like shit. A small laugh escaped her lips. She couldn't but think how much she sounded like Rachel Berry in that moment.
"Q, over here!" Danielle yelled, waving her over to a small table.
Quinn made her way over to her and forced a smile when she noticed that her friend was sitting with two other guys.
"Quinn, I'd like you to meet Brian," she paused to point to an average-looking guy with short blonde hair, "and Chris." Her roommate then pointed to a tall boy, though not as tall as Finn, with brown curly hair and matching brown eyes. Quinn stared at him for a few seconds and he smiled back at her. It wasn't that she was interested in him; it's just that there was something about him that reminded her of Finn. Quickly dismissing that thought, she murmured a quiet "hello" and took a seat at the remaining stool.
Much to her surprise, she didn't leave as quickly as she planned. Although she didn't talk much, she enjoyed the company of the other people. However, most of her attention was focused on Chris. Over the next hour, she became aware that he was a lot more like Finn than she pegged him to be. He had that same goofy personality that she loved so much. Apart from that, his eyes were almost identical to Finn's. Then again, she hadn't seen his eyes since the day he left, and she was already forgetting things about him… 'Stop comparing him to Finn! He isn't him. Nobody can replace him.'
"You should totally go up there and sing, Q!" her now annoying roommate exclaimed.
"I don't sing-"
"Yeah you do!" Danielle interrupted, eliciting an eye roll form the blonde. "You have an amazing voice! Don't even try to deny it!"
Quinn shot the brunette a glare. "No thanks, D."
"I think you should do it." Chris piped up, a smile on his lips.
"Yeah." Brian nodded in agreement.
"Why?" She meant to make this a rhetorical question, but she found that she was directing it at Chris.
The curly-haired boy smiled at her. "I really want to hear your voice. It can't be that bad!" Hearing how that sounded, he quickly added, "I'm sure your voice is beautiful though, just like you- I, uh, I mean… I think that it would be really cool to hear you sing. All of these other drunken kids suck and… Yeah, you should sing." In attempt to cover his lame ending, he threw her another smile.
'He rambles…' Quinn thought to herself, feeling an ache in her chest. With a sigh, she said, "Fine."
Without casting another glance at the students at her table, she walked up to the empty stage and scrolled though the list of songs on the karaoke machine. A small sigh of relief escaped her lips when she found the one song that she had practically memorized.
She stepped up to the mic and cleared her throat before saying, "Hi, I'm Quinn Fabray… and this song is for my boyfriend, who's currently serving overseas."
Once the familiar music began to play, she immediately became relaxed. She then opened her mouth to sing for the first time in over two years.
"Tall, dark, and Superman
He puts papers in his briefcase and drives away
To save the world or go to work
It's the same thing to me
He's got his mother's eyes, his father's ambition
I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him
I hang on every word you say, yeah
You'll smile and say, "How are you?"
And I'll say, "Just fine"
I always forget to tell you I love you,
I love you, forever
I watch Superman fly away
You got a busy day today
Go save the world, I'll be around
And I watch Superman fly away
Come back, I'll be with you someday
I'll be right here on the ground
When you come back down
Tall, dark, and beautiful
He's complicated, he's irrational
But I hope someday he'll take me away
And save the day, yeah
Something in his deep brown eyes has me saying
He's not all bad like his reputation
And I can't hear one single word they say
And you'll leave, got places to be
And I'll be okay
I always forget to tell you I love you,
I loved you from the very first day
I watch Superman fly away
You've got a busy day today
Go save the world, I'll be around
And I watch Superman fly away
Come back, I'll be with you someday
I'll be right here on the ground
When you come back down
And I watch you fly around the world
And I hope you don't take some other girl
Don't forget, don't forget about me
I'm far away, but I'll never let you go
I'm lovestruck and looking out the window
Don't forget, don't forget where I'll be
Right here wishing the flowers were from you
Wishing the card was from you
Wishing the call was from you
'Cause I've loved you from the very first day
I watch Superman fly away
You've got a busy day today
Go save the world
I'll be around
Forever and ever here
I watch Superman fly away
I swear, I'll be with you someday
I'll be right here on the ground
When you come back down
La, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la
When you come back down…"
Once she was finished, she said a quick "thank you" before hurrying back to the table. As soon as she sat down, she felt the eyes of her companions on her. She then proceeded to raise her eyebrow.
"That was fantastic!" Danielle gushed, emphasizing her point by clapping once more. Yeah, her roommate definitely had some… problems.
"I agree!" Brian chimed in with a following thumbs up.
Quinn nodded in acknowledgement before turning her head to look at Chris. He grinned as he said, "America's next Idol right here!"
Instantly, an unwanted blush crept up onto her face. She didn't want this random guy to be capable of making her blush with a goofy, stupid comment. Only Finn could do that…
Much to her relief, the conversation gradually began to drift to other topics that she frankly didn't care about. About ten minutes later, she found herself seated at the mini-bar located in the corner of the lounge, drinking a diet soda. Absentmindedly, she twisted the promise ring around her finger. He had said that he would always be with her. Why did the ring now feel like, well, just that? A piece of metal and rock. She heard a voice in the back of her head make a response to her unspoken question, but chose to ignore it. However, she had still caught what it said. 'Because he isn't here…'
"Hey." a voice greeted quietly.
She looked up and smiled when she noticed that it was Chris. "Hi."
"So…" he started, scratching the back of his neck. "Who's the lucky guy that that song was for?"
"Finn." she answered softly.
"That's a cool name… What does he do?" he asked as he took a seat next to her.
A soft sigh escaped her lips before she looked down and stated, "He's in the Army."
"Ah, I'm sorry. It must be really hard." he commented before placing a comforting hand on her arm.
Quinn glanced at his hand and he abruptly removed it. "Sorry." he muttered.
"It's okay."
There were a few seconds of awkward silence before he asked, "How long has Finn been gone?"
Suddenly, a lump formed in her throat. "Three years today."
"Wow." he remarked. "He's a real hero."
"Yeah…" she drawled slowly, clearly not wanting to talk about it anymore.
Chris caught on and decided to change the subject. "So, would you like to go out to dinner with me some time?"
Taken aback, Quinn snapped her head up and shot him a disbelieving look.
"As friends." he added quickly.
"No thanks." Quinn replied firmly.
The boy sighed before nodding. He then got up and slid a piece of paper toward her.
"I already told you-" she tried in a frustrated tone before getting interrupted.
"Look, if you ever want someone to talk to, give me a call. You can't mourn over this guy forever. I mean, do you think that he'd want you to be all antisocial and depressed while he's away? I promise that I won't try anything. Think about it, okay?" He didn't even wait for an answer before walking away.
Quinn took the slip of her paper and was about to rip it when she thought about what he had said. 'He does have a point… Finn would never want me to be so unhappy, but would he really want me hanging out with that guy?'
She sighed and shook her head before placing the paper in her pocket. After finishing her soda, she headed back up to her room. That night, her nightmare was even worse - impossibly, it was more vivid.
The following day, she gave Chris a call and decided to have coffee with him.
Quinn was being 100% honest with Finn when she told him that she wasn't in love with Chris. No, she was only in love with the idea of him – the bits of him that reminded her of Finn. She knew that it was wrong to use people, but she just couldn't help herself. The past four years had been practically unbearable for her; she hated the immense feeling of loneliness that haunted her each and every day. Chris had helped with that in a way, but she made sure not to sleep with him. She would never make that mistake again. Besides, he wasn't appealing to her in that way. Obviously, she felt bad because Chris really was in love with her. But she would never, ever return those feelings. She would always be in love with Finn Hudson and nobody else.
As for the ring, she believed that it was becoming… ineffective, in a way. She took it off because she couldn't feel his presence with her anymore. Every single time that she looked at it, she would feel that hollow, heart-breaking feeling in her chest. The reminder that she had been forgetting parts of him were also mirrored within the precious object. Plain and simply, it made her feel even crappier than she did. Of course, she didn't get rid of it – it was something that she was going to cherish for the rest of her life. She kept it safe and sound in her jewelry box, hidden in the most secret compartment.
However, Finn didn't know this… because he wouldn't let her explain. She would probably never be able to explain her actions to him, no matter how much she wanted to; how much she needed to. 'I have to move on now, though… he made it clear that he doesn't want anything to do with me. How is it that I'm always the bad guy? Why doesn't he ever take the blame..?'
As a new round of tears began to make their presence known, she came to the realization that, deep down, she would never be able to get over him, but what could she do about it? She didn't even bother to consider her options and instead decided to cry herself to sleep. After all, it wasn't like it was uncommon for her anymore.
Like I said before, don't hate me! I just... kind of had to do it... Aside from that, I hope you liked it! I apologize if there were any mistakes, it was a little harder to proofread this chapter. I really don't know when I will update because I kind of have to read Pride and Prejudice and that book is... blehg. Anyway, sound off and let me know what you think! Who do you think is at the bar? What do you think of the first chapter? Thank you so much for reading!
Songs: Payphone - Maroon 5 ft. Wiz Khalifa; Superman - Taylor Swift (I Do Not Own These Songs!)