Save A Life, a degrassi fanfic

Disclaimer: Not mine. Italicized song lyrics belong to the Fray.

I don't really know what this is… it's kind of confusing, and the pace is kind of weird…but it's what came out. Consider it a present. Hope you enjoy.

Warning: Based on previews for new season.

where did I go wrong.

What the hell happened with him? He'd become a drug addict within five months of being in fucking British Columbia?

Now I'm left to pick up the pieces.

Because if I don't, no one will.

Because I actually care.

Because I love him.

i would have stayed up with you all night. had I known how to save a life.

The first time I walked into the garage and saw him doing it, he tried to cover it up. He treated me like a child. I slapped him.

Strike two was when he knocked at my door, shivering from the cold. He didn't know where the hell he was but had somehow managed to remember my existence.

I let him in and took care of him, putting a cold rag on his forehead. While lying on my bed, he kissed me. I kissed him back and when it was over I remembered that he was on drugs and probably didn't even want to. That bastard. Seconds after he was knocked out flat.

I woke up the next morning to hear him joking and laughing with Marco and Dylan in the kitchen. Marco shot me a look but didn't push it. I mumbled something about a deadline and left, not being able to handle it anymore.

How dare he come back here? Now. Now. Now when I was finally (maybe) becoming okay? Now when things were working out in college. Now when I had a boyfriend and was (pretended to be) happy?

he'll say he's just not the same. you'll begin to wonder why you came.

I walked into the garage and it took me a minute to comprehend the scene.

Multi colored pills were scattered everywhere. I couldn't see anyone so I walked slowly, approaching the couch. My fear was confirmed. Craig was passed out on the couch. There was a shattered vodka bottle on the table and his limp hand was holding an empty bottle of prescription pills.

Shit.

I heard myself scream and it was almost like I was watching the scene outside of my body. Tears started streaming down my face. Someone must have heard me because within the next few seconds Joey ran in with a 'what the hell is going on?' He saw me huddled on the ground crying and his eyes drifted to Craig. An 'ohmygod' left his mouth and he ran inside and called an ambulance.

pray to God he hears you.

My arm is barely holding up my head as I sit in his hospital room. My cheeks are red and tear stricken. I haven't eaten anything in the course of two days. I haven't answered my boyfriend's calls knowing that he won't give a shit. He didn't like Craig much anyhow so it doesn't really matter.

Ash, Jimmy, Marco, and Dylan have all been in to visit and eventually gone home. But I can't. I have to be here.

After a while I get up and lean against his bed. I take his limp hand in mine.

God, Craig. How could you do this to yourself? To Joey? To Angie? To me

I buried my head in his shoulder and prayed that he could somehow feel me there. That he could somehow feel how much pain I was in.

His fingers stirred in my hands.

Maybe he'll stop. Maybe this is a wake up call. Maybe.

between the lines of fear and blame.

He got out of the hospital with strict rules to be monitored.

He didn't go back to Vancouver. Leo sold his apartment and he went back to living with Joey.

It's one day at a time, but we deal.

Jesse and I broke up. He ended up hooking up with some bar slut and the news didn't hurt as much as I expected it to. I got the stuff I had at his apartment and left. Part of me was glad because he gave me an excuse to leave.

I believe that he wanted to hurt me, or at least feel something. But I knew what I wanted. He knew it too.

Manny left Craig. She couldn't take the drug addiction. She had ranted something about being young and not deserving this from him.

She's with someone else now and I'm left to pick up what she wouldn't.

It's okay though because I had picked my own fate.

Or, rather, this fate had picked me.

Either way, I was stuck with him.

I'm still scared. Scared he'll relapse. Scared he'll stop caring. Scared he won't be there one day when I wake up.

let him know that you know best. cause' after all you do know best.

"It's a good idea."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure? It's a big step."

It's been two years, and now we're moving in together.

"Yes. I'm sure."

I look into his eyes, letting him know I'm dead serious about this.

He nods. "Okay. I'll bring my stuff over tomorrow."

I squeal and he picks me up. He's still the only one who can do that.

He's been recording in a small studio. No more major labels. Not for now anyway.

I'm now editor of The Core. Jesse graduated last year. We don't talk anymore. Neither do Manny and Craig. It keeps things easier.

step one. you say we need to talk.

He proposes. It's in a nice restaurant and I'm a bit tipsy from the campaign. We've been living together for almost three years and things have gotten comfortable.

I giggle at his question and that fact that he's down on one knee.

Of course I accept. He kisses me despite that it's in a crowded place and he knows I'm not really into the whole PDA thing.

My period is late and within the next few days, I find out I'm pregnant.

"We need to talk."

He lifts his head and smiles at me because I'm wearing an apron from cooking dinner. Me. Cooking. I know.

"Yes Miss Nash soon to be Mrs. Manning?"

I played with my fingers.

"Well… I'm sort of. Sort of…pregnant."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Sort of?"

I smirked at him.

"Okay, completely. I'm completely pregnant."

I looked down, afraid of his reaction.

He got up and walked over to me.

"Ellie."

"Yeah?" I responded uneasily.

"Are you sure?"

"No. I'm joking. Of course I'm sure!"

He laughed. I took this as a good sign.

"Nash?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna be a dad?"

"Yeah."

There was a pause.

"Can we name him Craig Jr. if it's a boy?"

I smirked at him.

"But Marco will be so heartbroken!"

"He'll live."

"So you're not mad?" I inquired.

"Mad? Are you kidding?"

Then I remembered the whole Manny-Abortion ordeal. I shouldn't have been expecting a bad reaction.

I smiled and he kissed me.

"So now there will be a mini Manning. I've already got first birthday presents lined up. If it's a girl, we get her a drum set, if it's a boy, we get him a guitar."

"Craig, you realize the baby won't be able to do anything with them until they're like five or something?"

"Hey, Tiger Woods started playing golf at three, and look at him now!"

he smiles politely back at you.

I was a pregnant bride, almost due once our wedding day hit.

Who would have thought Ellie Nash would be pregnant on her wedding day?

Our wedding was in June. It was outside, somewhat reminiscent of Spike and Snake's wedding.

I walked down the aisle, Craig's smile beaming back at me.

It wasn't a large wedding. Our closest friends and family. Ash was my maid of honor. Marco was the best man. My mother sat in the front row crying her eyes out, and even my dad made it even though he was still on call.

We said our vows and all the while Craig held my hand protectively. I couldn't help but well up tears.

how to save a life.

Our daughter is three now. We named her Julia after Craig's mother. She has curly red hair and chocolate eyes.

Every time I look at her, I remember my choice of staying by Craig's side in the hospital six years ago. It was hard. It was painful. It sucked. It was completely worth it.

Craig tells me I saved his life by being there for him.

I tell him he saved mine.

Fin. Reviews would be much appreciated.