DISCLAIMER: I do not own Blindspot or its characters, I just play with them for fun.

Hope you enjoy.

It was a night for celebration. After months of grueling work – both physically and emotionally – they'd finally brought down Sandstorm, and no one could deny it was Jane that made it possible.

She'd maintained an uneasy place within the team throughout the operation, perhaps as she always had. Despite the betrayals, they all felt a bit uneasy when they thought about it. They knew her, and knew her betrayal just couldn't have been that simple….

Nothing with Jane was ever simple.

And that discomfort made them look the other way when she returned. They ignored the reminders of what she went through, and the uncomfortable knowledge that she was there because she had to be. She was brought back into the team, but she was never fully part of it again. So they kept her at arm's length, pretending all the while that a person could handle the weight of what she carried and still escape whole. She was their accomplice in that lie, pretending she could do it… and never letting them see her pain and her loss as those things slowly crushed her.

Weller was always the closest to her. He knew she wasn't Taylor now, and it scared him that he felt the same way he had before - before all the betrayal - when he thought the connection between them was because of their history. But now he knew it was something else. Something unnamable and unmanageable, and it scared him. Kurt Weller had relied on his gut his whole life but, his mind reminded him, what his gut wanted now couldn't possibly be right.

So he'd locked it down, covered it up. He masked his feelings with anger and rudeness, professional courtesy or feigned indifference. There had been slips- they'd shared moments of kindness and raw honesty - but for the most part he'd kept his feelings hidden. He'd always assumed they could work through it when he was ready.

When he could understand it better.
When he could control it.
When he could find a way to think about her with both his mind and his heart and not feel like he was drowning.

So after months of work, they were all out celebrating the victory. She'd earned more than a couple drinks and a FBI-sponsored dinner with the team after all she'd done, but that's what they could offer so they tried to savor it. There were still some details to go over and loose ends to tie up, but that was for another time. Tonight was for celebrating. The smiles around the table felt real that night, the laughter was natural and the kindness authentic, not how it had been for the past few months.

But as Kurt watched Jane – he always watched Jane – he couldn't shake the feeling there was something else, something important just under the surface. He couldn't define it, couldn't even express what it was when they asked later, but he saw it and felt it that night.

But he tucked it away, burying that feeling as his mind reminding his gut that it wasn't very smart when it came to Jane.

When the food was gone and glasses empty, Weller signed the check and the team said their goodbyes. Alarm clocks would be going off in not many hours, after all. There were smiles and final congratulations shared and a couple hugs as well. Weller was last to say good night to Jane, and the team was trickling out ahead of them. He looked at her awkwardly, not sure which mask he was supposed to be wearing now, which one he should be using to hide how he felt. But his eyes spoke to her before his mouth could, making Jane smile and lean in to give him a hug. "Good night Kurt" she said softly, smiling briefly as she gently wrapped her arm around his back. He was stiff but his arms moved quickly to encircle her, awakening his whole body as he felt her against him. She slowly wrapped her other arm around his waist, pulling him slightly closer. He felt her pause as they stood there, and a quiet shiver passed through him.

When she pulled back, he expected her to be smiling and she was, but there was something else. He recognized the expression from the look he frequently saw in his mirror. It was a mask of normalcy and calm, and he saw the disconnect between the masked expression on her face and the swirl in her eyes. "Good night Jane" he said softly as he looked at her carefully, mind processing the look and trying to calculate the right words. But as he did, she paused and took one last look at him, absorbing him almost, and offered a final soft smile before walking away. He stood there, mouth open, as his mind once again told his gut not to worry, it was nothing.

After all, his brain said, your gut never was very smart when it came to Jane.

He woke up early the next day, something in the pit of his stomach felt off but he blamed it on the oysters and cocktails. He was at the office before the team and decided to get some paperwork done. The team trickled in one by one, and he tried not to look for her, not to notice that she was running a bit late. They didn't have formal hours but she was usually one of the first in. Of course, it had been a long day – a long few months – for her, especially.

It was 9:30 when he finally gave up and decided to go look for her. He walked through the bull pen and the locker room, but didn't see her. He checked the gym and Patterson's lab, tension rising in his shoulders as he walked. He pulled out his phone for perhaps the 10th time that morning to make sure he hadn't missed her call or a message, but he found nothing. He looked around one last time, and felt a bit of cold make its way down his spine. He slowly walked back to his office, closing the door and his eyes as he leaned against it. His mind flashed to her eyes from the night before, the swirl of green and the way they seemed starkly out of place against her face and that mask of calm and normal….

He opened his eyes as he took a deep breath, once again grabbing his phone from his pocket. He called her, his pulse rising with each unanswered ring. Her voicemail picked up but he hung up instead of leaving a message. His gut told him she wouldn't hear it anyway, and this time his mind wasn't so sure that his gut was wrong.

At ten o'clock, he called her one more time, then had Patterson locate her phone.

At 10:05 he was driving to her safe house

And at 10:27, when she didn't answer her door, he let himself in and found her keys and phone lying neatly on the table, next to her FBI badge and gun.

At 10:32, after completing a sweep of the place but not finding a trace of her or anything else that was unusual, he leaned on the side of her couch, head dropping to his chest, and closed his eyes.

His time had run out. She was gone.

He felt his stomach drop and his throat start to close as if it was going to strangle him.

And for once, he listened to his gut as it said to his head "I told you so."

After all, his gut reminded him, his head never was very smart when it came to Jane.

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