Alright mortals, so I'm back, you're life's better, I know. Yeah, I'm a cocky ass bitch, I know. Hate me love me, yet you still are reading my overly long author's note, so who's the bitch now!
So, I heard that Passenger song, and I felt like writing this, so yeah... I warn thee now, i hate happy endings. They just don't happen, so don't expect one. This is sad, angsty, and just yeah. So I warn you now. There is no happy ending at the end of this, I warn you now, So when you're mad at me because there isn't a happy ending, don't leave me hate.
For those of you who care, the next chapter of LOAD is almost done! Hopefully I'll have it up in a few days.
To all those people out there effected by Typhoon Haiyan, this is for you. My heart goes out to anyone who lost someone or was effected by it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not the song, not Pitch Perfect, nothing. I wish I did, but I don't... If you like the cover art, and you want me to do something for you, PM me, and I know a chick that's freakin awesome at this shit.
Let Her Go
Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast
You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies
But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast
Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much
And you dived too deep
Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
Will you let her go?
'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
Ask anyone about Aubrey Posen, and they'd immediately tell you three things. One, they would say that Aubrey was an uptight controlling bitch with an obsessive need for perfection. Two, she had the most unfortunate tendency to projectile vomit when she was under extreme stress. They were usually speaking from experience too. Three, she was absolutely, head over heels, in love with Chloe Beale.
Aubrey was so sickeningly in love with Chloe, that sometimes, it was painful to watch, She'd bring Chloe dinner when Chloe was having one of her infamous cram sessions. She'd wait outside of Chloe's classes for her, just so that she'd be able to walk her back to her dorm. If Chloe asked for it, Aubrey would go through hell and high water to make sure that Chloe got whatever she needed. It had been this way since freshman year, 2 years ago, when they met. Aubrey loved Chloe, but it took her more then a year more before she asked Chloe out. When she finally did, they quickly became the it couple of Barden after only a few weeks.
So yeah, Aubrey was absolutely, undeniably in love with Chloe, so when she broke up with her for seemingly absolutely no reason after only 3 months, it shocked everyone.
Aubrey sat in the bar, staring at the bottom of the glass of her third drink that night. With a sigh, she signaled the bartender for another.
"Here ya go miss." Th bartender said as he passed her fifth drink of the night to here.
"Thanks." Aubrey said, already downing the drink.
"Miss, I know its not my place exactly, but are you alright?" The bartender asked.
Here Aubrey laughed darkly. Was she alright? Would she ever be alright? She let the most amazing thing in her life go. Was she even able to be alright?
"Miss?" the bartender asked, no concerned by the blonde's lack of reply.
"Oh, I'll be alright eventually." Aubrey slurred. "Just give me another round sir, and I'll be quite alright."
"Miss, I don't think that's a good idea. I think that you should just-"
"Fucking give me another round." Aubrey demanded. She was in no mood to hear this. She need to get drunk, and god damn it, she was going to get pissed out drunk.
"Miss, I don't think-" The bartender tried once again.
"Good thing you don't need to think to get me another drink." Aubrey snapped, cutting the poor guy off.
"Alright then." the bartender said as he slid her yet another drink. He saw people like this every night, and every night he did his best to try and help them. Sometimes he did, and sometimes he didn't. Whatever happened though, he had a job to do, and for those that couldn't or didn't want any help, well there wasn't much for him to do.
Aubrey sighed as she swirled around the amber liquid in her glass. She was going to drown her sorrows tonight. She was so fucking tired of seeing her face every time she closed her eyes. Every fucking time she closed her eyes, she saw the crushed, heartbroken face of the love of her life, and it was killing her. What's worse, she was the cause of Chloe's pain. But it was all for the best. It had to be...
"Miss?" The bartender said, concerned that she'd passed out.
"I'm fine." Aubrey said. Was she though? She finally got the woman of her dreams, but after only a few short months, she broke up with her.
"Miss, once again, I know this ain't my place, but I don't think you are fine." The bartender said. "That drink you got in your hand? It ain't gonna make the pain you feel any better. It might numb it for a minute, or an hour, maybe even a day, but it ain't a solution."
"I know" Aubrey snapped. Oh how well she knew indeed. "I fucking know alright? This is just a temporary solution to a permanent problem. I FUCKING KNOW! I just need a night of nothing, alright? Happy with my answer?"
"No." The bartender said simply. "I think that you need to deal with your problems, not try and escape from them. But hey, what do I know? I'm just the dumb ass bartender. Don't mind me."
"Ugh..." Aubrey groaned. "I'm sorry..."
"Ted, miss." The bartender said. "And you don't have to be. I'm jus' trying to help."
"You know Ted, you're right." Aubrey said. "I know your right, and I shouldn't have snapped at you. I just..." Aubrey trailed off. How was she suppose to explain what was going on? How was she suppose to explain the pain she caused? The pain she feels?
"It's quite alright." Ted said sympathetically. "By the looks of you, you either were dumped, or you dumped someone, because you thought they could do better. Based off of your lack of anger, I'm going to go with the second one."
"How did you..." Aubrey asked, dumbfounded that this stranger knew this without even asking.
"Know?" Ted asked, finishing her sentence. "Because I see people like you here all the time. However, I have to say, you must have really loved her."
"More then you know" Aubrey sighed.
"Then why's you let her go?" Ted asked.
Aubrey sighed. Why did she let her go? Why did she let go of perfection? Why did she choose to walk away from the only person that she ever felt safe and loved with? Why, why, why, why, why indeed. Wasn't that always the question? However, why was such a hard question. Sometimes, the answer isn't so much as a why but a how.
"Because." Aubrey sad simply. "I had to."
"Pardon my language, but bullshit." Ted said. "If you loved her, and she loved you, then you never should have let her go. Hell, you shouldn't have HAD to do anything."
"See, that's the thing" Aubrey said sadly. "She never really did love me."
Ted was dumbstruck. "What, but how?"
"Oh, I'm sure that on some level she did" Aubrey said quickly, "But, she was the kind of person that loved lost causes, and would pour her everything into them. She hated to see someone sad, and I think that's why she loved me. She loved me, because no one else would, or could. She deserved, no, deserves so much more, she could find so much better. Everything I touch, I destroy. Plain and simple. Our relationship, it would never have lasted. It couldn't have, so i chose to end it, before it could hurt her too much."
"I don't think that's quite right miss." Ted said quietly.
"No, it is," Aubrey sighed. "I think that I know Chloe better then almost anyone, and I saw her when we were together. No one else noticed, but I saw the way that her smile was a shade darker, the way that it seemed like some of her energy just left her. She wasn't completely happy, and I saw that. I'm much rather that she both be heartbroken for a few days, and then have her move on and find bigger and better things then have her never fully be happy for the rest of her life. As my father said, a little pain for a gain is better then no pain and no gain."
"Did you ever ask her how she felt though?" Ted asked. This couldn't be right. It shouldn't.
"I did, and she always said that she loved me. But like I said, I'm sure she did love me, just not as much as I did. I wasn't her perfect person, and I never will be. And I tried, oh how hard I tried. I wanted to be the perfect girlfriend. I'd have done anything to be, but I wasn't and I can accept that."
"Can you really?" Ted asked. "Can you accept that you gave up-"
"I never gave up on her." Aubrey said sharply. "I never will either. I'm letting her go so that she can have a better life then the one that I could have offered her. For the rest of my life, I will always go to bed seeing her face. I will always have this empty feeling in me. She'll always be in my dreams, she'll haunt my thoughts for the rest of my life. I'll see her everyday, but I'll always know that I can't touch her, that I couldn't have kept her. I let myself love her too much, knowing that I could never be the one."
"Sounds like you could have been the one though." Ted said quietly. "Anyone that loves some one as much as you love Chloe could be the one."
"No... no, my love's not enough." Aubrey said sadly. "Love needs to be a two way street, each caring about the other the same. It wasn't that way, and it never will be."
"You know," Ted said, "You keep sayin' that. That it never will be. How do you know that? I highly doubt that you can predict the future. How do you know what you've never tried?"
"Because I did try!" Aubrey shouted, not caring about the looks that the other patrons of the bar gave her. "I tried so fucking hard, but I saw what I was doing to her! Only after a few DAYS I saw what I was doing. After a few months, it was so obvious to me that it wasn't going to work, I ended things FOR HER!"
"If this was all about her, then why didn't you just let her end things?" Ted asked, not believing that someone could be so stupid.
"Because she never would have." Aubrey said sadly. "She would never have had the heart to, and she'd settle for me, when there's someone out there so much better then me, just waiting for her."
"What if there isn't someone better then you out there though?" Ted asked. "What if you were as good as it was going to get?"
"But I wasn't" Aubrey said, tired of this conversation. Tired of remembering why she was at this bar alone. "I never will be, so let's just drop this."
"But-" Ted tried.
"I'm done." Aubrey said. Too tired to fight any more. "Thanks for everything though." With that said, Aubrey downed the last of her drink, dropped two twenties on the bar, and walked out.
Ted Beale sighed as he finally finished his shift. As he got into his car, to head home, he pulled out his phone to call his daughter. Starting his car, he waited for Chloe to pick up.
"Hey hi there!" Came Chloe's recorded message. "I'm not able to, or I'm just not answering my phone right now, so leave a message after the beep, and maybe I'll call you back. BEEEP!"
Ted chuckled. Yeah, that was his daughter. "Hey hon. I Just finished up at the bar, and I'll be home soon. Okay, umm... Bye!"
Ted sighed. If only she could be this happy again. After that girl broke up with her, she'd been a wreck. She sat up in her room, crying her eyes out over Audrey was it? Maybe Aubrey? Who cares. All Ted knew was that some girl broke up with his baby girl for no reason, and now Chloe was camping out in her room, under a ton of blankets, crying over a picture of her and the girl that broke up with her-
"Holy shit." Ted said quietly as the realization finally struck him. The girl that he was talking to to at the bar... he never did catch her name, but was it possible that she was the girl that left his baby?
With this new information in mind, Ted raced home, probably breaking like 40 different traffic laws in the process, but if something involved his baby, God be damned if he would just sit around idly. As he pulled up to the front of the house, he turned off the car and then sprinted to the front door.
"Chloe!" Ted called "I'm home!"
"Hey daddy..." Chloe sniffed. "How was work?"
"Work was work..." Ted said slowly. He didn't want to say anything before he was certain.
"Hey, could I see that picture of the girl?" Ted said gently.
"Sure..." Chloe said slowly, eyes still red from crying all day and night. She did her best to not cry in front of her dad, but she couldn't hide that she cried the moment he left her room.
"Shit..." Ted whispered as he looked at the girl in the now tear stained photo. Though the water blurred it, Ted could still see the blonde hair and the piercing green eyes.
"What's wrong daddy?" Chloe asked, concerned by her father's cursing. he never cursed unless something was seriously wrong.
"I-I just.." Ted tried. How do you tell your daughter that you just had a heart to heart with the woman that ripped her heart out? How do tell her that the reason that said woman walked away was that because she believed that she wasn't worth his baby's affection.
"Dad," Chloe said "I'm tired, so unless there's something that you want to tell me, could you please just leave.
Ted sighed. He couldn't tell Chloe this. It would destroy her, and you know what, the sad thing was, Aubrey was right. Chloe would bounce back in a few days, and telling her this would just make things worse. From their little chat, Ted knew that Aubrey was adamant in her decision, and nothing that either he or Chloe did would ever be able to change her mind.
"Sorry baby, good night."
"Night daddy."
So, love it hate it? Tell me please! Leave a review and I'll love you forever :)
I need constructive criticism people!