"When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions!"

William Shakespeare

Beautiful. Stunning. Breathtaking. I am every one of these.

Vain. Self-centred. Egotistical. I am every one of these too.

I have Emmet – even though I don't deserve him. My own selfishness is what brought him to this life he now leads. The life I wouldn't have wished upon anyone. The life that I had been forced to lead – the one I had forced upon Emmet. I love him. Of that I am sure. But it isn't enough. I want more – and the most devastating of all is that I will never have it.

I want a tiny little human being to call my own. One that I know will never leave me. One that will offer me the unconditional love. The kind of love that I don't deserve. One that would complete the wretched life I lead. But it's a vain hope. Maybe it's karma. Who knows? Every time I cast my mind over the subject I weep. I weep for the tears I can never shed; I weep for the child I can never have; I weep for the life I had forced upon Emmet; I weep for the tragedy that is my life. The hollow empty existence I lead.

Of course I could never reveal this to anyone – not even Emmet. To the world, Rosalie Hale had to be indestructible. Had to be a rock. Because... because... because anything would be better than enduring the pain. Sometimes I could escape it. Sometimes I actually believed I was the bitch that everyone saw – but that facade didn't last for vey long. The one thing no one can achieve: to trick oneself for long.

Evidently, I couldn't always control my most inner thoughts. From time to time I would see the look on Edwards face, as he was observing me. The look portrayed the emotions that I kept bottled inside: pain, sorrow and acceptance. He knew that the shell I cocooned myself with was necessary, even though he had never said it aloud. On rare occasions when Emmet was nowhere near, he would sit next to me and just hold my hand. Knowing that I'd need it – but never tell it to another soul.

Edward, in the beginning of my new life had insulted me. In the worst possible way: he had rejected me. No one had ever rejected me. And after all these years – even though I had Emmet – it still annoyed me slightly. Thankfully rejection was a feeling that I had never encountered after that incident.

I had never seen what he had seen in Isabella. She was ordinary. But that wasn't why I loathed her. She chose a life with Edward regardless of the consequences. She knew what she was giving up. And yet she chose him. She had the opportunity that I would never have. And that is why I loathed her – like no other. She had the gift of childbirth. And I didn't.

Thinking of the beginning of my new life only reminded me of the unfaithful incident that had led to it. Royce King. I had never allowed the name to be uttered out loud by anyone. The name itself brought a fresh wave of unwept tears. If it wasn't for him, then I would've had a fulfilling life. He was the reason I lived this life and consequently why Emmet was leading this life also. But thinking of him also caused a faint smile to creep up on my face. Murdering him had been the most fulfilling activity that I had ever partaken in. The look on his face. The fear I had smelt from a thousand miles away. And the screams that escaped his mouth – satisfying indeed.

From the outside my life appeared perfect. I had beauty. I had Emmet. I had a family. But yet my heart wept.

Wept for the innocent creature I could never have.

This is dedicated to queenamz who loves Rosalie like no other.