This is a follow on from Tuesday's episode 'Rocket Man' as requested by holbyaddict on tumblr. Please feel free to send prompts at any time. Let me know what you think. Kat xx
Zosia was beyond embarrassed. She couldn't believe she'd completely broken down, on Jac Naylor no less. And now she stood in said woman's bathroom, splashing water on her face trying to simultaneously sober up and calm down. Jac had insisted that she go back to hers and she hadn't been in any state to refuse. She took a deep breath and left the bathroom, walking into the large living room where the older woman was waiting with two big cups of tea. The house was just as posh and clean as she'd imagined it. Even Emma's toys were kept neatly in one corner. She sat down on the sofa next to Jac and took one of the cups of tea into her hands. "I'm so sorry." She mumbled.
"Don't be. Apparently it's good to let it all out." She just shrugged.
"Not just for that. For what happened in theatre and well everything." She looked down as she felt herself blushing.
"It's fine. Well it's not, but I'll sort it out. It couldn't be helped." She spoke rationally.
"I think I'm going to resign. I've caused too much trouble for Darwin, for you, and I can't do it anymore." She nibbled the nails of her free hand nervously.
Her eyes widened. "You're a junior, you can't just leave. You have to continue your practical training somewhere."
"That's the point. Maybe I shouldn't be a doctor anymore."
"No. You are a fantastic doctor and surgeon. As your mentor it is my job to notice when something is wrong and I didn't. All the signs were there and I failed to see them. Instead I pushed your harder and let you get in too deep so this is on me." She gently placed her hand on her arm and pulled it away from her mouth.
"No it's not your fault. I didn't say anything so how were you to know." She sipped her tea slowly, avoiding eye contact.
"In some ways you're right. It's my job to notice these things but it would help if you told me when you're feeling off. I may act like I don't care but if it's going to affect my ward then I need to know. Or if you don't want to talk to me about it, let your psych tell me. We need to work together with this ok?"
She nodded. "Ok. And thank you for this. I should be getting home."
"No stay. I don't like the idea of you being alone tonight and I have a perfectly good spare room. And trust me when I say, spending time with Emma is enough to cheer anyone up. She's such a bundle of joy, when she isn't tantruming." She couldn't help but smile slightly.
"Alright I will, thank you. I don't need to say which parent she gets each of those traits from." She smirked over the top of her mug.
"Both from her father of course."
As if on cue, the young girl got up from her place amongst her toys and toddled towards them, plastic plate in hand. When she reached them she passed Zosia the plate. "I made dinner."
She looked down at the plastic food on the plate. "Yum, cake and onions my favourite. Thank you so much Emma." She chuckled.
"Yes she hasn't quite picked up any culinary skills yet. She's more of a throw anything on the plate and hope for the best kind of chef." She picked up on of the plastic food items and pretended to eat it, gesturing for Zosia to do the same. "Delicious."
"I've heard that those kinds of chefs make millions these days." She copied her boss's actions. "Mmmm lovely." She grinned at the girl. "You were right, I'm feeling better already."
"Aren't I always? But really feel free to do whatever you need to relax tonight. You know take a bath or go to bed early." She offered as she helped Emma climb onto her lap.
"Thank you I might later. But I'd like some company for a bit first if that's ok."
"Of course, like I said do whatever you need. We don't mind do we Emma?" She looked down at her daughter. "It's nice to have some adult company for a change"
"Oh Emma what is she saying about you. Is mummy being nasty?" She laughed. The girl nodded and climbed across to Zosia's lap.
"What's your name?" The little girl asked curiously.
"My name is Zosia. It's a very tricky name."
"So-sha" she attempted, grinning with pride when she thought she'd got it. "My name is Emma. I nearly three."
"That's it. Oh wow! You're such a big girl." She grinned. "What do you want for your birthday?"
"A kitten. Daddy said."
Jac rolled her eyes. "I've told you Emma, Gary won't like it if we get a kitten. If daddy wants to get you a kitten, it will have to stay at daddy's house."
Emma frowned and crossed her arms.
"Oh wow she's definitely your daughter." She laughed and used both hands to gently tickle the child's sides, watching as she dissolved into laughter.
"Don't go thinking that technique will work on me when I'm in a bad mood." She raised an eyebrow.
"Oh god, I'd never try it in fear of you suing me for harassment or something." She felt herself blushing, why was she blushing?
The conversation stopped for a while, the younger woman playing happily with Emma.
"I'm sorry Zosia but I have to ask" Jac began. "Is this… episode, anything to do with that sister of mine?"
"Excuse me?"
"Well you know I don't like to gossip but I heard about Jasmine and Oliver. I know it was your choice to end things but it can't be easy seeing him with someone else, and so soon."
"I think it's been waiting to happen since Arthur was diagnosed if I'm honest but that might have been the straw that broke the camels back as they say." She couldn't believe quite how caring and worried Jac was being. She liked this side of the other woman and was glad she was honoured enough to see it.
"Well then I'm sorry."
And now she was apologising, wow this really was too much. "Why are you apologising? You don't even have anything to do with her."
"I know." She sighed. "I just feel like I should. She probably didn't mean to hurt you but she is a Burrows so who knows."
"Have you two never got on?" She couldn't help being curious about her past.
Now it was her turn to avoid eye contact. "I didn't know she existed until I was well into my thirties, but that's a story for another day. I'm supposed to be making you feel better."
"It's ok I don't need to know. You have, both of you. Usually I'd go home and cry into a bottle of vodka." She moved slightly as Emma started to play with her hair.
"Which is definitely not good for you." She frowned. "Surely there's plenty of people you could call."
"I know but you've seen today that I'm not good at accepting I need support."
"Yes I have. Don't you dare ever do something you don't really want to do with men like Tristan Wood for the sake of my ward." She was serious now.
"You've done it." She frowned.
"You're not me. And I've done lots of things but that doesn't mean it's right. By all means sleep with whoever you want to but not because you feel you have to, to help the ward." She hated the thought of the woman putting herself through that for her.
"Ok I promise I won't. It's just, my goal today was to impress him and keep that theatre. When I messed up I just wanted to redeem myself somehow." She shrugged.
"Well don't. You couldn't help what happened."
A few hours later and Jac was putting Emma to bed, after all having dinner. When she came back from Emma's bedroom Zosia was fast asleep on the sofa. She had leant her head back against one arm of the sofa and spread her legs out. She looked so peaceful. Jac smiled softly, grabbing Emma's blanket from the back of the sofa and draping it over her. She watched her for a minute before decided to go to bed herself