Mista M
By Agent Dalton
Summary: There is another side of Mulder, another side I have conjured up in my twisted mind. That other side would be Mista M.
Rated R
Disclaimer: Not mine, surfer brotha.
Authors notes: I wrote this when I woke up from a dream. This is that dream, as I remember it.
XxXxXxX
"Mulder", Scully said a bit impatiently, "This is stupid. There is most definitly not any mutant oranges in the Bureau fridge."
"mmmmhhhm"
"What is mmmmhhhm supposed to mean?"
"Oh, I'm sorry Scully. I was just thinking."
"About what?"
"Nothing really. Just stuff."
"What kind of stuff?"
"I said just stuff, bitch!"
"Ok..."
"Jesus, Scully. I don't see why everyone always wants to know what Spooky Mulder is thinking. It bothers me, ok. You don't want to know. Its just stuff about what I do after work. If you want to know bad enough hire a mindreader. "
"uh, well, ok then. I guess I better be going now.", Scully said as she rushed out the door of their office to the elevator.
"Whoa. I didn't mean to be like that", Mulder mumbled to himself, "I guess I should be leaving, too. It is pretty late."
Mulder picked up a few files and a half eaten bag of sunflower seeds and went out the door. He went to the elevator and pushed the button. A couple of guys walked by as he waited. They all we pretty pimpish looking dudes.
"Yo, whassup Mista M?", one of them said.
"Hey yo, nuthin much, bro. I just dissed the redheaded bitch I told ya'll about. My bad.", Mulder said as the elevator doors opened. "See ya'll later, brothas."
"Yeah, see ya, M."
Mulder walked out to his car and sat down in the seat and sighed. He had a long night ahead of him. He started the car up and drove home.
When Mulder got home he went right up to his apartment. He didn't have much time before he had to start up the Pimpmobile and begin his rounds.
Mulder went to his room and grabbed his pimp stuff. Orange see-through shirt, gold chains, gold pinky ring, pimp cologne from Gadzooks, and some baggy pants. He was all set.
After he put on his pimp apparel he grabbed his pimp stickers and went down to his car and stuck them on the sides. Just like The Godfather from WWF. Mulder was now Mista M.
"Where to go, where to go..." Mista M asked himself. "Hmmmm, I guess I will just cruise around for a while."
After about 15 minutes of driving around he found some ladies on the streetcorner.
"Damn... no redheads" he said to himself.
He started to drive around again and saw some short, red headed hooker with tall black boots and barely any clothes on.
"Just what I like" Mulder muttered to himself.
Mulder drove up to his prize find, and without really looking at her said "hey baby, whas goin on?" in his most pimpish voice.
"Mulder? Oh my god..."
"Scully? Man, what the hell?"
"Well, uh..."
"Hey, Scully, just get in the car. You're a ho, I'm a pimp. Maybe our extremely twisted relationship can work this way!"
"Sounds good to me."
And they made sweet love until dawn.
---------------
I am truly sorry for that. Honest to god, I am sorry. Please dont bash me on this one. Every author has their worst work, and this is mine. I just wanted to share my XF dream.
Ok, peace, I'm out.
By Agent Dalton
Summary: There is another side of Mulder, another side I have conjured up in my twisted mind. That other side would be Mista M.
Rated R
Disclaimer: Not mine, surfer brotha.
Authors notes: I wrote this when I woke up from a dream. This is that dream, as I remember it.
XxXxXxX
"Mulder", Scully said a bit impatiently, "This is stupid. There is most definitly not any mutant oranges in the Bureau fridge."
"mmmmhhhm"
"What is mmmmhhhm supposed to mean?"
"Oh, I'm sorry Scully. I was just thinking."
"About what?"
"Nothing really. Just stuff."
"What kind of stuff?"
"I said just stuff, bitch!"
"Ok..."
"Jesus, Scully. I don't see why everyone always wants to know what Spooky Mulder is thinking. It bothers me, ok. You don't want to know. Its just stuff about what I do after work. If you want to know bad enough hire a mindreader. "
"uh, well, ok then. I guess I better be going now.", Scully said as she rushed out the door of their office to the elevator.
"Whoa. I didn't mean to be like that", Mulder mumbled to himself, "I guess I should be leaving, too. It is pretty late."
Mulder picked up a few files and a half eaten bag of sunflower seeds and went out the door. He went to the elevator and pushed the button. A couple of guys walked by as he waited. They all we pretty pimpish looking dudes.
"Yo, whassup Mista M?", one of them said.
"Hey yo, nuthin much, bro. I just dissed the redheaded bitch I told ya'll about. My bad.", Mulder said as the elevator doors opened. "See ya'll later, brothas."
"Yeah, see ya, M."
Mulder walked out to his car and sat down in the seat and sighed. He had a long night ahead of him. He started the car up and drove home.
When Mulder got home he went right up to his apartment. He didn't have much time before he had to start up the Pimpmobile and begin his rounds.
Mulder went to his room and grabbed his pimp stuff. Orange see-through shirt, gold chains, gold pinky ring, pimp cologne from Gadzooks, and some baggy pants. He was all set.
After he put on his pimp apparel he grabbed his pimp stickers and went down to his car and stuck them on the sides. Just like The Godfather from WWF. Mulder was now Mista M.
"Where to go, where to go..." Mista M asked himself. "Hmmmm, I guess I will just cruise around for a while."
After about 15 minutes of driving around he found some ladies on the streetcorner.
"Damn... no redheads" he said to himself.
He started to drive around again and saw some short, red headed hooker with tall black boots and barely any clothes on.
"Just what I like" Mulder muttered to himself.
Mulder drove up to his prize find, and without really looking at her said "hey baby, whas goin on?" in his most pimpish voice.
"Mulder? Oh my god..."
"Scully? Man, what the hell?"
"Well, uh..."
"Hey, Scully, just get in the car. You're a ho, I'm a pimp. Maybe our extremely twisted relationship can work this way!"
"Sounds good to me."
And they made sweet love until dawn.
---------------
I am truly sorry for that. Honest to god, I am sorry. Please dont bash me on this one. Every author has their worst work, and this is mine. I just wanted to share my XF dream.
Ok, peace, I'm out.