I had this dream, okay I know it sounds like Stephenie Meyers, but really I have been reading the twilight books non stop for a few weeks now, and this version was one I could not shake, I am not a writer. I have never attempted to write. I was trying to give other people my idea of this story but I figured the best way was to try to write it out, I know it is sloppy but I hope to get it completed so everyone can see how it turns out.

NOT QUITE VAMPIRE NOT QUITE HUMAN

Chapter 1

BELLA AWAKENS

All I felt was the burning; it was consuming every part of my body… except for my head. I could think clearly and know what was happening around and inside of me. I was trying to count down the time. I knew from conversations with Carlisle that is takes about three days for the change to take place. By my count I was about a day and half into it. How much longer can I hold out, so as to not hurt Edward anymore? I started to think about Renessme and wondering if she was okay. Would they harm her, would they love her as I do? I just want to hold her and keep her safe. Just then I felt the burning again, but this time it seemed to be withdrawing. I heard Carlisle and Edward talking, "Edward she will be fine." Carlisle said with no doubt in his voice.

"Are you sure, she hasn't begun to change yet. Her heart is still beating and she feels like she is actually getting warmer to the touch." Edward really sounded worried. I had to be strong if not for me but for him. I will get through this if it is the last thing I do!

I lost track of time, so I didn't know how much longer this would go on, but when I thought about the burning sensation I noticed I didn't feel like I was burning anymore. Could the transformation be complete? I slowly started to open my eyes, for the first time I was seeing everything as Edward sees them. All the bright colors, I don't even think there are names for all the colors I am seeing. Everything is so beautiful. I turned my head to look at Edward, his eyes were very wide and I had never seen that look in his eyes before. I didn't know whether to be concerned or scared.

"Bella, you are awake. Aren't you still burning?" Edward was trying his best to speak in a soft, soothing tone. I have heard him try to use that tone many times to calm me down.

I opened my mouth to speak. "Hi," was all that would come out. It was not what I wanted my first words as a vampire to be, but that was all that I could muster out. So much was going through my head all at once, and I was neatly organizing every thought right into its own place within my head.

"Carlisle, get in here, I think something went wrong!" he whispered, but I could here every word he spoke, just as if he were talking right into my ear.

"WHATS WRONG?" I was yelling, what had gone wrong? I could hear and see things, which as a human I would think were the wind or a blur. What did he mean something went wrong?

"You heard that Bella? How did you hear that I barely spoke it?" he seemed very distraught and puzzled.

"Yes I heard that, now tell me what went wrong. I feel fine." My voice was still raised, as now I was very scared at what might have gone wrong.

"What is it Edward? She looks fine to me." Carlisle said as he looked me over.

"Can't you hear it? Here touch her, she feels like she is on fire." Edward said while lifting my arm up for Carlisle to touch it. I noticed that both his and Edwards touch still felt icy. I thought we would feel normal to each other.

"Oh my, I see what you mean now. I can hear it… Bella are you feeling okay? Do you still feel the burning?" Carlisle looked even whiter then I had remembered him, he almost looked as if he saw a ghost.

"I feel great, the burning stopped awhile ago." I sat up in an instant, Wow what a weird feeling to just think of moving and poof I did it.

"Edward, now tell me what went wrong. Please you are scaring me." I think by the look on my face he believed me, because he leaned down and held my hand, looked into my eyes and said "Bella love, it is just your … your… your heart, it is still beating. And you are very hot to the touch even more than before." He continued to stare into my eyes, but then his eyes grew as wide as I had ever saw them, and then I felt what he was reacting to, my eyes… they were wet, and tears started to fall. I thought vampires were not supposed to be able to cry.

"Carlisle, what happened? We gave her more than enough venom, does this mean she is still human?" just then a little smile started to appear in the corners of his mouth, just what he wanted… me to stay human. I can't be human, he promised me.

"No, I don't think she is fully human anymore, I think she is like Renessme, I mean listen to her heart, it beats faster and her body temp is just that of Renessmes'. I have a theory. I think that maybe her shield, may have shielded her from transforming into a full vampire." Carlisle spoke as it were something he had dealt with before, wait what did he say about Renessme? Her heart beats. Oh I really wanted to see her. I needed to see her. I needed to hold her.

"Renessme… can I see her? Please Edward; I need to know that she is okay." I was still crying and tears were rolling down my cheeks.

"What do you think Carlisle? Do you think it would be safe?" Edward still looked almost as he did on Esme Isle when we learned I might be pregnant.

"I don't know. Bella do you feel thirsty? Is there a burning sensation in your throat?" Carlisle anxiously looked at me while I concentrated on whether or not I felt thirsty or better yet I felt hungry.

"well to tell you the truth I could really go for a salad and a milkshake." Oh that was what I really wanted was a nice thick chocolate milkshake. "Chocolate to be exact." A smile beamed across my face, I looked at Edward and it was heard to tell what he was thinking, His look seemed to be going in two different directions at the same time. First he looked confused, then secondly he looked like he always did when there was something I wanted and he could get it for me. Then I heard Edward laugh, I thought I had known every single thing about him, but the way he sounded it was … well it was like an orchestra was playing, so many different notes all playing in unison and sounding like heaven on earth.

"Well like I have always said, Bella will be Bella. She never ceases to surprise me. Okay love if that is what you want then that is what you shall get." Edward was still laughing, at least the pain and worrying was no longer apparent on his face, but I knew it was still there hidden deep within his thoughts.

Carlisle had gone downstairs to inform everyone that I was awake and I think to forewarn them that I was still half human. Half human I still don't believe it, but leave it up to me to be the freak. I can't seem to do anything right. I wonder though since I am still half human, does that mean I will still age? Or do I get to have forever with Edward, renesemee, the whole Cullen family. Oh and does that mean I will be able to see Charlie,renee,and maybe Jacob won't hate me so much, technically I am not all the way dead. Half human to him should be okay, it might be enough to overlook the half vampire part of me. I don't feel like a newborn monster. The thirst that everyone was talking about, where was it, could I gotten lucky that I won't crave blood as the rest of the Cullen family does? Then a thought popped into my head, if my heart still beats and blood runs through my veins, would Edward still feel the intensity to kill me? Would he still burn every time we get close? Before I knew my mind was so filled with every possible outcome and I was asking myself more questions than I could come up with answers. I guess the human side of me was still making my brain work like a human except that it seemed to be on overdrive.

The air around me all of a sudden changed, I could smell all of these different aromas. It was as if I were in a huge garden with all of my favorite flowers and there was something else I could not put a name on that aroma. It was the sweetest, yet it seemed so familiar to me. I looked around to see what could produce such an aroma. There walking through the door was Alice, and she had something in her arms. I took a breath in and realized that smell was emanating from the bundle in her arms.

"I wouldn't have believed it, if I didn't see it with my own eyes. Just look at you Bella." She had a puzzled look on her face and a smile at the same time.

"What has you so puzzled Alice?" She always looked like she knew the answers before the question was ever brought up, but this time she looked at me as she had looked at Jacob.

"I can't see you anymore. I mean every time I think of you it just disappears. It is the same for Renesemee. She is a half breed and I can't see her future either. This is going to drive me insane. How am I supposed to watch out for you two when I can't even see you?" she was getting upset so I thought I would try to distract her.

"What is that in your arms, it smells so wonderful? I have never smelled an aroma quite like that before." my mouth was getting dry so I licked my lips to moisten them, and I think she got the wrong idea ,because she held the bundle closer to her body and scooted back a foot or so. Oh I wonder if that is… could it be, by her reaction it could only be one thing, it is my Renesemee.

"Oh Alice, please may I hold her? I just want to see her, and make sure she is really here." I pleaded well begged is more like it. "Please. Please. Please…" tears started to form again, that's when Alice really looked at me, then she let out a huge gasp.

"Bella, your eyes…"but before she could finish what she was saying I butted in and said "I know they are red, but remember they will fade into golden eyes soon." I tried to say that like I wouldn't miss my big brown eyes. But I will miss them. They were my eyes, my mom had said that they were special eyes, that you could see right through to my soul. But they are gone forever, oh that word forever, I think of Edward every time I think of forever.

"No Bella, your eyes are not red. They haven't changed a bit. How can this be? Oh I can hear your heart beating too. Carlisle wasn't kidding you are still half human." Alice seemed to be relieved more than anything. "But I still don't know if it is really safe for you to hold Renesemee, after all you are still half vampire too. A newborn vampire at that." She was right I am half vampire and a newborn, what if I snapped and hurt her? But I didn't thirst for her blood, I can hear her heart beating I can smell her blood, but it wasn't something that I wanted. I wanted to feel her in my arms. I could never hurt her.

"Please Alice. I won't hurt her I promise. I don't find her heart beating or the smell of her blood appetizing at all. I really need to feel her, to feel her skin next to mine to count all her fingers and toes, and to let me believe she is real. Please. Please." I could feel a sobbing attack coming on, and I think Alice knew me all too well that she could see it coming too.

"Alright, how can any of us ever say no to you when you cry like that? I think you use it to your advantage. But first I need to warn you of something, okay?" her tone changed a little, I wonder what it is now? "She has a gift, it is like a mixture of Edwards and yours." She stopped talking, it looked to me as if she were searching for the right words to explain this to me.

"Well when she wants to communicate with one of us all she has to do is touch our face and she shows us what she is thinking." She didn't look like the words came out the right way, which was a first for Alice.

"So let me get this right okay, Renesemee touches your face and she shows you what she is thinking?" now I was the one with the confused look and tone.

"Well not exactly what she is thinking just her memories yeah that's it. She sees everything and she uses her memories to get us to understand what she wants to say. There does that help?" she smiled knowing by the look on my face that I somewhat got what she was telling me.

"So I understand what part of that is from Edward but what part is from me?" so I guess I was still a wee bit confused.

"Carlisle says that Edward sees what everyone is thinking and she shows everyone what she is thinking, and you don't allow anyone in your head and she won't let anyone stay out of hers. You just can't resist her." Alice said as she walked right up to the bed where I was sitting and handed me the bundle in her arms.

Immediately Renesemee looked at me and I her, she was more beautiful then I had thought. She had my brown eyes. Her face was a perfect match to Edwards, there was no mistaking her for our child. She smiled at me, it was the most amazing smile I had ever seen, and I thought only Edwards smiles could make my heart flutter, but then I remembered she is a part of Edward; of course things she did would remind me of him. She reached up out of the blanket she was wrapped in and touched my face.

"Oh my! You weren't kidding. That is just amazing!" I was like a kid on Christmas day opening the one special present that I had asked Santa for.

"I told you, amazing huh? What is she showing you?" Alice was curious that doesn't happen too often.

"She is showing me… well… I think it is of me. But I look tired and withdrawn." I was trying to remember when I had looked like that. Then she showed me a picture of me holding her I can see me as she had seen me and I could make out her little body. "It was when she was born, I think."

"That is her only memory of you so far, she is letting you know that she knows you are her mommy. She has been waiting to finally meet you again. Can I ask you something? Why is Edward out buying a chocolate milkshake? He keeps changing his mind on where to get the best he finally settled on a place. He will be home in… four minutes and thirty seconds." She looked puzzled again.

"Oh I almost forgot, he asked if I was thirsty, so I told him I was craving a chocolate milkshake and a salad." Oh great now I am craving it even harder now. I looked back to Renesemee; it looked as if something was wrong with her.

"Alice, what's wrong with her? She isn't moving and her eyes are closed, but I can hear and feel her heart beating."I couldn't understand what was going on.

Alice let out a laugh; it was almost like Edwards laugh before, only in much softer notes, but still as beautiful as if an orchestra was playing in the room. "She is sleeping Bella, she sleeps through the night."

"So does that mean I will sleep too? After all we are just alike I mean we both are half and half." Every time I say that I still think I am a freak, of course with my luck I would be the one exception to everything. But why this I thought once you were bitten and had the venom flowing through your veins you would turn into a vampire. Freak that is what comes to mind everytime I even think about it.

I sat there rocking Renesemee in my arms, until Edward came home. Oh goody my milkshake is here. He walked through the door and saw me holding our daughter, wait… I love the way that sounds, our daughter. He stopped and gave me that look, that look that melts my whole body inside and out, I felt my cheeks burn and realized I still blush, and at the same moment he realized it too, for he smiled the biggest smile… well since the day he saw me walk down the aisle.

"Oh Bella, I thought I would never get to see that again. I am so glad that didn't get lost in the transformation. I see you have met Renesemee. She is beautiful isn't she! I love that she has your eyes. Oh and here is your milkshake, chocolate just like you asked for." He was still smiling as he handed me the milkshake and in the same time to hand it to me he had taken Renesemee. As I held the milkshake in my hand I looked at him holding our daughter… our daughter I still can't get over how perfect our lives are at this very moment. The way he glows when he looks at her, the way he looks at me. I took a large slurp of the milkshake, oh that hit the spot.

"Thank you, I needed that. Oh and by the way, I love you." There I was finally able to get the words out; my mind is starting to behave now.

"As I love you. And you're welcome." He said as he reached down and kissed me on my forehead. His lips were icy cold, but it wasn't something I wasn't already used too. It didn't feel exactly the same, before my teeth would chatter, but now it was almost like when it is boiling hot outside and you walk into an air conditioned room. I t feels cool but yet refreshing at the same time.