Title: A stumble down the hall
Author: Loz
E-Mail: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com
Rating: PG
Category: CJ/Toby
Series: Stand alone
Spoilers: None
Archive (if applicable): The National Libraryalso fanfiction net
Feedback: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated.
Summary: Stumbling, bumbling confessions.
Author's Notes: -
Disclaimers: If only my work equalled West Wing and its location equalled Down the hall, sadly not.
She's reading this report that she honestly couldn't tell you what it's all about, boredom has set in. Its set in so bad her eyes are closing. She's sitting on her bed shoulder to shoulder with Toby Ziegler on a Friday night at 11:30 and she's about to go to sleep. He's reading as well, but he's not about to go to sleep.
"What are we doing?" CJ asks throwing the report on the bed in front of her.
"Reading." Toby doesn't look up.
"Its 11:30 on a Friday night and we're reading." CJ states in a questioning tone.
"Yes." He replies.
"You don't have a problem with that." She asks.
"Like what?" She's got his attention now.
"Well I don't know." CJ counters not wanting to reveal her true feelings.
"We both have important jobs CJ, important short term jobs." He's correct about that, but that's not what she meant.
"We've just got together right?"
"Mmmmmm," He hates relationship questions.
"Well I thought we were supposed to be doing it in every room of the apartment on every piece of furniture."
"Hang on I'll check the manual." He goes for the non-existent book on the bedside table.
"I'm serious." CJ counters.
"The country and this government get screwed fine without our leading the way." He picks up his reading again.
Giving up CJ heads to take a bath and honestly try and remember what and how she came to like this man and his seemingly impossible personality traits. Her impression was all men wanted to do was have sex, but it's plausible that his impossible personality traits are what she's attracted to, he's a challenge... she thinks she'd take a break from that in her personal relationships.
The warm water runs from the hot tap of the bath and a dash of selected oil is sunk into the water followed by bubbles, what's a bath without bubbles. The bathroom is her favorite room in the apartment, it was redecorated not long ago with a large deep old style bath, the salesperson told her it is big enough to take three. There was no expense spared because this is where she relaxes, where the events of the day are washed away and she starts clean again.
When the water is done the taps are turned off and her clothes fall haphazardly in a pile on the floor then she slides in. The water is warm and she knows her flesh will soon be turning pink. She reaches for the razor to shave away the stubble, delight taken in the fact that everything is within her reach, just the way it was designed.
The bath is at the perfect angle for lying back and relaxing in, just as she'd made sure of.
Her neck towel is placed as her muscles relax and she becomes content to lie back until she's "shriveled prune CJ", or at least until the water gets cold.
It isn't long before everything is simply forgotten, the water is still warm around her and the bubbles are still going strong. Her ears pick up on Toby moving in the adjacent bedroom; it's been the only movement in so long.
"I thought you drowned." CJ opens her eyes to find him in the room.
"What time is it?" She's very drowsy.
"Midnight." He kneels next to the bath and splashes water on her face.
"Stop it." She can't help but smile, diminishing the weight of her request.
"Sit forward and I'll do your back." He offers grabbing the sponge and dunks it in the water.
CJ closes her eyes and lets her body move with each stroke he makes across her back, he mixes it up sometimes squeezing the sponge over her shoulders, letting the water cascade down her back.
"They should have one of these in every room in the White House." CJ tells him.
"What an exotic bathhouse complete with slave."
"That's not what you are."
"You'd never get any work done."
"I know." CJ sighs. "But I'd be a much nicer person."
"I think you're nice already." He kisses her shoulder, lingering for a moment.
"Get in here with me." CJ says impulsively, leaning back and closing her eyes again and waiting.
The water movement tells her when he puts one foot in and then two and slowly lowers his torso till it leans against hers. She takes up sponge duties, squeezing it across his shoulders and down his chest. One leg then two wrap around his abdomen.
"Couldn't you just stay like this forever?" She sighs resting her lips on his right shoulder.
"No... eventually the water is going to get cold, it'll evaporate and we'll be left looking like we're about 1000 years old gauging by our wrinkles."
"You're so romantic." She grabs his chin twisting his face up so she can meet his lips with hers. His punishment is a brutally passionate kiss.
"I like you when you're mad." Toby tells her.
"You turn me on when you're mad." She whispers in his ear.
"Let's get out of here, it's cramping my style." He looks over his shoulder.
"Work is cramping my style."
CJ watches as the water swirls down the drain hole, something she's been fascinated by since she was a kid. Toby's making coffee in the kitchen, Toby can't make coffee in her opinion.
Sometimes she's a twinge disappointed with their relationship. It's almost as if they're together because it's convenient, because they were friends before lovers and it's a natural progression of their relationship, because they're on the same side politically, they work in the same place, work the same job, same ludicrous hours. As if people were starting to talk because they were unattached, so they got together because it served both their purposes. Heaven forbid they should move in together she thinks, it would be a cost cutting exercise.
"Do you ever think about what you'll do when this is over?" The coffee smells good.
"I try not to." It's a standard shut everyone else out Toby answer.
"Oh come on."
"I don't know, go back and do what I was doing before."
"Have a normal life." She suggests.
"That's always a possibility."
"You don't give up much."
"What's your expedition looking for CJ?" He confuses her.
"I'm sorry."
"You're fishing for an answer out of me, what is it?"
"I want to know where we're going." There she said it and he hated it, it's obvious from the loud sigh and the long pause. She's positive he plans out his answers in his head before he says them. It's the writer in him.
"Women always want to know about the future, they can never just take it as it comes and go with the flow, this is why there's a market for those wacko psychics right, to tell you what you want to hear." His back is still to her, pouring coffee.
"That's incredibly unfair." CJ hears herself yell. "What's wrong with wanting to know if this has a future? If there isn't then what are we doing here, might as well be seeing other people." She can't believe less than 10 minutes ago she wanted this man in her bed making love to her.
"It won't be like that, it'll go back to how it was, midnight finishes, 7am starts. Weekends pretending to have a life while catching up on sleep."
"Well I've managed quite capably."
"What do you want to hear?" His voice drops volume.
"I want to know how you feel about me, about us, where are we going." He still has his back turned. "Look at me dammit." He turns slowly.
"You want to know what I feel for you." He's yelling but it's a different tone. "I'm in love with you CJ."
She's stunned to say the least; it's a huge admission from this man.
"You know what else, I've know you for 10 years, I've been divorced for 6 of them and I've been in love with you for 7 of them." Ok she wants him back in her bed again; he was in love with her and still married, oh God.
"Kristen and Geoffrey Irwin's wedding." She remembers the night vividly; something changed that night between Toby and herself.
"That's right. It scares me now, not knowing what to do, the next move to take. Scared because I don't want to screw up another relationship. So I'm wary of my next move, to move us forward."
"I didn't realize." She speaks softly.
"Yeah well neither did I realize just how much." His voice fades.
"You didn't?" She questions.
"Not until tonight when I was sitting next to you in bed and then you left and I was alone as I have been for so long, I realized I wanted you back next to me, it's what I've wanted for so long."
"You are the most romantic person sometimes." She slips her arms over his shoulders and his arms wrap around her waist.
"Just don't let it get around." He says in typical gruff fashion, not taking his eyes from hers.
"Kiss me." She commands softly.
"You kiss me." He counters and CJ gives in and kisses him, he always has to be right or get his own way... she's not willing to argue on this one.
"Come back to bed." She pulls at his hand, but he doesn't need much encouragement.
"I gotta say, you turn me on in those sweats." He teases.
"You're hot in that ancient sweater." The counter attack is launched.
"This is not ancient." He protests.
"You think I care, get it off." She pushes her lips harder on his after the sweater falls to the floor.
"What do you look like without a beard?" It's a strange time to ask, but as she looks at him she wonders.
"Bald." He muffles against her neck that he's kissing.
"So you do admit you're lacking up top."
"Yes, but it goes no father than you and I."
"You're sexy with a beard." She kisses him again.
"Really."
"So commanding, so shrewd, so revered."
"I love it when you use big words C.J." He tells her in between kisses.
"You really love me?" She asks breaking the kiss, her eyes never leaving his.
His hands brush through her hair as if he's composing a long winded answer, but it's the simple, honest yes that wins her over.
"You didn't just stumble down the hall looking for the first woman and I was the closest office?" CJ questions.
"If that were the case do you think maybe Ginger might be here right now?" Toby asks with a slight smile in his face.
"I guess." She concedes looking down at the floor.
"I was blessed with the right woman, the woman I love, a stumble down the hall from me." He says tenderly pressing his lips gently to hers again.