A/n- Short oneshot that I couldn't post with "Of Emeralds…"
Dsiclaimer: NOPE
Summary: She can't
Can't
Her hands were fisted within the front folds of his tunic, and she was wringing the fabric in a convulsive clenching motion. It was her favorite of his, she realized after her hold had created probably irrevocable wrinkles, and that made her shake harder.
A wheezing sniffle brought much needed oxygen.
"I… I can't!"
The breath expelling from her lungs was bereft of any emotion save the keening want to get away. So she pushed upon him, trying to clutch him to her and yet trying with equal strength to make him leave.
His arms were around her back, crushing her body to his, and his hand was cupping the base of her skull, forcing her face into his chest.
"I can't do this!"
Why did her heart clench as she said the words?
A bitten back sob rose within her throat.
"This is wrong and I can't! I won't! It's not mine, it's not mine."
"It's alright…"
"No, no, no! It's not my world. I don't belong! I should be on the ground, back home, not here," and now the repressed emotion was surfacing, and she was crying into his shirt.
She hated crying.
She wasn't some weak thing.
But she cried in frustration and self-inflicted emotional pain.
"It was always Yumemi's sky! Always! Never mine! I needed to see her sky- needed it. But I don't want it, I don't want it anymore!"
"Ichiko…"
"No!" She was wrenching herself from his grasp. "It's too hard!"
"Ichiko," his voice was so soft and deep, she had to look up.
There, caught in his crystal clear, beach glass gaze, she froze. He was stoic, no emotion etched onto his face, but fathoms of thought reflected back at her from those eyes. Looking down, Ichiko saw the stains from her tears on his chest, and felt a swell of self-loathing rise within her.
Why had she reacted so?
There was never a protest from her, not a word, at night when she wrapped herself around him in bathing pleasure.
Why now?
Ichiko knew… she had always been scared. Always. Of things Yumemi could see and believe and love and cherish… but Ichiko was not Yumemi. Heaven scared her. It was new and terrifying and so- so different.
"I-" she began without thinking, cutting herself off, realizing what the flood of feelings now coursing through her meant. "I wanted too much to be different, to be like Yumemi… but now... now that nothing can go back to the way it was before, I'm terrified."
He allowed a smile for her.
"I'm here," he whispered.
"I know, God I know. I love you… so much Rui. So very much…"
And she pressed herself to him, bathing in his scent of sea salt and earth.
Fin
A/n- Ooo, surprise twist!
I am not a fan of Ichiko and Takashi. I find him to be too weak for her. Ichiko and Rui would fight, a lot, and then have fabulous make-up sex. I MEAN….. UH… right? Anyway, I will be using this couple in other stuff, as I consider it (for now at least) *possibly* canon (but probably not).